Reflections of Jade
by ScottyBgood
Summary: Jade couldn't sleep. Her mind was busy tracing the past and present, looking at how those two factors interwove to make her path to the future. Here she was, at 22, living in a home paid for by that someone else. Jade wondered again how she had come to this place, and in that moment, she let herself get lost in her memories. Trigger warnings, Rape, abuse, attempted suicide
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (Later chapters.)

Note; After the first chapter, the focus will not always be on jade, so don't get too confused.

:}

It was four AM and Jade was awake. Sleep had abandoned her, and she had allowed her current worries to let her internal defenses down. In search for her answers she had started looking back, reflecting on what had happened. Her mind was busy tracing the past and present, looking at how those two factors interwove to make her path to the future.

Here she was, halfway through her twenty second year, lying in a bed paid for by someone else, living in a home paid for by that same person. How had she become a kept woman? Glancing briefly at her left hand, she reminded herself that the term most people used used was wife, but it felt the same to her tonight. Jade had traded her love for security. Yes, they were in love, but Jade honestly felt that she hadn't earned anything yet. She certainly didn't feel that she'd earned her wife's love. Her pride screaming that until they were equals, she could lose everything when her wife changed her mind.

Once again reminded how this house, with it's wonderful view, wasn't hers. Jade had come in after it was bought. Yes, maybe the house was bought for her to live in, but that didn't ease her troubled mind. Abandoning all hopes of sleep, Jade got up to look out the window, thinking about how she got here.

Her earliest memories came from when she was four, and they were a mixture of sorrow and joy. She remembers when her brother, Maxwell West, was born. She would come to love the little guy, but at four years old she couldn't help wonder if she was being replaced. She didn't know it at the time, Her parents had gotten married because her father had gotten her mother pregnant, and by the time they figured that out it was too late to get rid of her. While they never told her directly, Jade always knew they blamed her for the misery in their marriage. The coming of her brother, a baby they planned and wanted, made her feel like she wasn't good enough. The loved him almost unconditionally, and Jade would see the way their eyes would light up when they spoke of him, even before he was born. Max was a good kid, and probably the only member of her family to love her unconditionally. Their parents, Miranda and Henry West, had allowed their resentment of their unhappy marriage to poison their feelings for Jade. She would always be to blame. Years later they would admit some feelings for her, but by then Jade would be too far gone for them to easily fix the problem.

(shifting from memories to narrative)

Jade soon found Solis in the form of a couple of friends at school. Jade entered preschool, then Kindergarten at the prescribed age, and made a few good friends despite being a little "weird". Kristen was probably her best friend. When other kids tried to bully Jade for being different, Kristen would be protective of her, claiming that everyone deserved to have friends. Jade's heart opened in that way young kids make friends so quickly. Kristen was there for her through the difficult times up until first grade. Jade was getting used to having someone to hang out with, to go on play dates with, and in general to care about her. Moreover Tanya, Kristen's mother, was a wonderful woman who seemed to have the patience of a saint. Kristen's older brother Richard, often called Ricky, was a special needs boy, so someone to help distract the girl was a blessing to her. Soon Jade found herself spending almost as much time with Kristen's family as with her own.

Jade and Kristen should have been friends forever. They had the kind of mutual need that helped smooth over the rough spots. Jade, dark and moody, was more than willing to be friends with a girl who's brother was a constant source of adjuration. Kristen, bright and cheerful, was happy to have a friend who wasn't put off by Rickys near constant problems.

Ricky was often frustrated, and far too often his frustration turned to violence. He was just as often a sweet boy, protective of both Kristen and Jade. Only when he let his frustrations get out of hand was he dangerous. His self control was usually enough that he only damaged things, inanimate objects that couldn't feel the pain he wasn't sure he could dish out, but he was still a potential threat to his sister. Kristen was grateful that Jade could live with that kind of uncertainty in her life. In a small way, Ricky was Jade's friend as well, and the future goth was able to both relate to his feelings of being different and envy his family's unconditional love. A love she was beginning to feel a part of.

It was that wonderful, special family that would unfortunately put the next big hole in Jade's heart. One day, after dropping Jade off from a play date, Tonya was driving Kristen and her family to some appointment for Ricky. Jade heard that he somehow got loose, lost control and gave into his frustrations, but it was just as likely he didn't do anything wrong. All she knew for sure was that the next day Kristen wasn't at school, and she was alone again. Jade would soon go to her first funeral. Kristen, her parents and her brother were laid to rest the same day, and Jade was there to say goodby. She received no comfort at the funeral, her family was only present out of a sense of obligation. They mourned the loss of anyone willing to take their dark, useless child off their hands, even for a few hours, and that was it. As for the rest of the funeral, Jade listened, filtered it through her guilt, and heard what she thought she should. The talk, the blame, Jade listened and absorbed it all. No one said anything, not one suspected it was her fault, but a girl used to being the cause of misery was quick to add one more tragedy to her resume. If her parents had cared for her at all, they might have made an attempt to tell her otherwise, but they were too consumed by their own loss.

By this point, Maxwell was growing into an inquisitive two year old. Jade couldn't take much joy in his explorations. His needs almost always came first, and his parents didn't hear the thread in their voices that told the girl she had been a disappointment. They were unaware of the painful scars they left in her psych, or just didn't care. Jade was a burden, while Max was a Joy. The only good thing Jade learned from that period was to forgive Max for things he could not control. After the loss of her friend, Jade was lost in a sea of f hurt and abandonment. She knew both that she wasn't supposed to feel abandoned, and that it was her fault they were gone. If she hadn't been Kristen's friend, then the whole family would still be alive.

Jade was becoming despondent. Desperate for anyone to accept her. She was convinced no one would ever love her again. With her parents attention focused on not making the same mistakes with their precious son, Jade was forced to turn to other adults for support, and found some in the form of a neighbor.

Neil Hanagan could have been one of a dozen different kinds of bad experiences that a child might find when looking outside the house for an adult to love them. He turned out to be a lonely retired salesman who's hobby was woodworking. In his push to stay active and engaged he was slowly building the skills for a new career as a craftsman. Jade found him one day working in his shed. She'd climbed the fence, looking to escape the pain she associated with her home, and found him hammering some nails in one of his projects. Neil let her watch, not asking her any questions, and slowly over days he built up enough of her trust for her to talk to him. Their first talk was simple. Jade asked "Can I use the hammer?"

"Depends. Do your parents know where you are?" Neil asked.

"They don't care. They're busy with the baby." Jade replied, sounding hurt.

"I'll let you use the hammer, but we gotta follow some rules. First, You have to tell me your name." Neil said. "I'm Neil, by the way."

"Jade." She said. She'd already come to hate Jadealyn.

"Good. Now, we have to let your parents know where you are. So tell me your address so I can talk to them." Neil said.

"Okay" Jade replied, "I live in that house." She said, pointing. He noticed she wasn't a direct neighbor, but had to pass through a yard next door to get to him.

"Third, you only use tools under my supervision." He said, taking her hand. He walked her around the block to her front door. Once there, he knocked, and when Miranda answered, he asked if it was Okay for Jade to spend time with him. It was almost scary how easily the girls mother said yes, discarding her child to a neighbors care without bothering to check who he might be.

So she became his apprentice, but her early duties were mostly hammering anything he'd let her. He always watched carefully to make sure she was safe. As time went on, he would listen on the rare occasion she needed to vent, and he showed her the appreciation she so desperately needed. For two years he was her friend and mentor. He even purchased her a hammer, lighter than his so the young girl could use it more easily. The most lasting thing he taught her was how to use a hammer, and it's reflections on how to live life. She was taught that you get more force holding the hammer at the end, but you lost much of the control. Holding the hammer closer to the head gave more control, and that was what drove the nails in straight. Control in life meant giving up some force, some power, but also there was a power in control. It could have been a defining lesson for the girl, who would hold onto it even when it made no sense, if her history hadn't gotten involved. It was, however, what would get her through a lot of her life when she had no power or control. When given a choice, she would always choose control.

Neil helped Jade through the rough times of her parents divorce. She needed the escape, and he loved the company. Her home life was deteriorating, often filled with wild emotions from her parents and confusion for her and her brother. Jade often had to hold Max as her parents fought, their voices echoing up from the floor below. She'd go to check on him once the fighting started, and if he was awake, she'd stay with him. It was during one of those arguments when she heard them specifically give her the blame.

"I wish I'd never married you, you gold digging harpy!" Henry West shouted. Jade held onto Max as he shook, tears running down his face. He often slept through their arguments, so this was newer to him than it was to her. All he really understood was that his parents were angry.

"We'll, I never would have married you if you hadn't knocked me up!" Miranda West screamed back. "About the only descent things you've done is taking care of your children."

"I wish I'd just paid you off! You're unbearable, and that daughter of yours is so moody, it's maddening! I sometimes doubt she's mine!" he shouted back.

"Oh she's yours all right! We did the paternity test twice. I sometimes wish I had realized how much of a loser you were, and just got rid of that anchor before she ruined my life!" She shouted back. "But nooo, I had to try and keep your child. She's nothing like Maxwell! I swear, he's the only good thing to come out of you or this marriage."

"I can't believe you're blaming the whole thing on me!" Henry screamed back. "I know it was your plot to get me to take care of you! It's not my fault you ruined my life. You curtailed my career with your stupid needs, and now you can't be happy with what I earn."

"Yes I can. You're the one who couldn't figure out how to use a fucking condom! Now I want out! I want Max, and the house, and you out of my life!" Miranda screeched.

"No! It's my house, and he's my son. You want out, you can get out! Take that demon seed of yours and go! I'll find someone who can take care of me AND my son!" Henry screamed back.

And on and on it went. Both parents seemed to blame Jade, but somehow that absolved Max from any wrongdoing in the failure of their marriage. Her name wasn't mentioned specifically, but it was clear she was the cause of their pain, so yet again she took the blame for their loveless marriage.

She was part of the reason they were unhappy, and while they had expanded the list of causes to include each other, Jade now had her proof that they'd have been happy if she'd never been born. It became obvious, as the fighting escalated, that one of the few things they could agree on was that the only good thing to come out of the marriage was Max. Jade, seen by both as the dark, brooding child, was the living embodiment of their unhappiness. The only things they could all seem to agree on were that Howard and Miranda West disliked each other, everyone loved Max, and that Jade was somehow responsible for their miserable lives. Jade couldn't take comfort in that knowledge, and Neil couldn't convince her what fools her parents were to miss what an incredible daughter they had.

This wouldn't be the first time Jade noticed how they never blamed Max for failing to bring them together, nor would it be the last. She could understand how they forgave him and loved him, and even how they argued about who would be allowed to have him. They wanted him. She wanted to be near him. He didn't hate her. But the increasing comparisons to him were eating away at her love of the child. If not for Neil, she'd have broken once she realized that Max would always be their shining angel, and she'd always be the demon that infected the family. Again, Neil tried to convince her how special she was, and again failed against parents who seemed all too happy to have someone else take their part of the blame.

The divorce left other lasting emotional scars as well. During the divorce, her parents never asked for custody of her. Jade was the consolation prize, given to her mother when her father proved to be better able to care for Max. Miranda West was not unfit, but made the mistake of admitting in court that she couldn't care less about Jade. It wasn't totally true, but it would be a long time before she truly feat her love for her child. The statement cost her Max, and Howard gave her Jade to show he was "Fair." More likely he felt he could move on with his life with the good child, but the bad one would drag him down. Whatever the reason, the division of custody was done outside the court, after Henry already won everything he could want from the divorce. Miranda took what was offered, and tried to make due.

After her failure in court, Miranda West tried to get along with Jade. She initially wanted to try to make up for not wanting the moody girl, but there was a lot of damage done to the relationship. Jade would spend years trying to prove to her father she was worth fighting for. Only Max, too young to understand what was going on, seemed to love Jade, and she only saw him on the weekends her father chose to take her. He saw Jade as his big sister, and despite the limited contact, he loved the dark girl fiercely.

After the divorce, as a final act of unintended injury, Jade's parents sold the family home. Neither Henry nor Miranda wanted to live in a house so full of unhappy memories. Miranda and Jade moved into an apartment, and away from Neil. The loss of the one adult who seemed to care about her, even if it was just from her moving away, broke her damaged heart again. The fact that no one seemed to care, and Jade was told to tough it out, just made her feel like she was wrong. She always felt wrong. The years of accepting the blame added up quickly, and Jade soon came to the conclusion that she was wrong, that somehow a child of pure evil had been given to good people and that child, her, would only draw bad things.

Desperate to find something else to focus on, her fears of being alone mixing with other fears and her sense of being wrong in some kind of emotional cocktail, Jade's psych grabbed onto an event that was traumatic enough to be the focal point of all these rampant emotions. An encounter with an over friendly dolphin left her shaken, and in the year to follow, Jade would transfer her fears of being unlovable onto the fear of dolphins. They became her terror, until something else took their place. The fear of dolphins was more than enough to keep her away from the ocean, never going closer than ankle deep, and only then if she thought that no sea creature could swim up and get her. That fear also added to peoples assumption that she was weird.

Jade's life did get a little better after that, if only for a few months. Miranda West tried to make a connection with her daughter, and in the process earned some love from Jade. Miranda was probably trying to prove she was a good mother, so she could get Max back, but the reasons didn't matter. Jade, who's need for love at this point was almost chronic, took any love she could get. They did some, but not many, mother daughter activities, and Jade was enthralled by the simple acts. Jade couldn't forgive Miranda, because she didn't blame her, but the feeling of being cared about by one of her parents was almost a drug. It bound Jade to her mother with a strong sense of loyalty, and Jade could honestly say her future looked better. Then Richard came into her life.

Richard Mathews. Wealthy but not rich, good looking without being handsome, with a practiced charm that was just shy of being fake, Richard swept her mother off her feet. He romanced her mother, but in many ways the romance was more like a business deal. Miranda didn't like the apartment, or the used car, or any of the things she could afford after the divorce. Richard had a nice house, drove a newer car, and lived a comfortable life. After dating for a few months, Richards wealth had won Miranda over, and Miranda somehow got Richard to agree to the marriage despite Jade. Richard never wanted children. Still, some sort of deal had been struck, and Jade became Richard's stepdaughter.

The next year was a time of adjustment. Jade learned that Richard had rules. If her mother put a curfew or other restriction on her, she was to follow it. Jade had chores to do, and they had to be done on time. Jade was never to refer to Richard as father, dad, or in any way as her parent. She would address him as sir or Mister Mathews. Only under special circumstances could Jade refer to him as Richard, usually when he needed to impress some business associate, so that's how she referred to him to her friends. Not that she had many. She couldn't bring any friends over unless both her mother and Richard approved of them, and then she still had to ask. Breaking any rule would get Jade punished. Jade would be beaten by Richard. He was good at not leaving permanent marks, but Jade limped to school more than once. A couple of times, she never found out what she did to deserve the beating.

Other than the rules and her chores, Jade found her mother and Richard really didn't care about her. Jade quickly missed the times her mother acted like she cared. Richard had taken those days away. Still, she had no curfew as long as she got to school on time. She could visit friends, when she had any, or hang out at the park until late. Often they suggested she do just that, so she wouldn't be underfoot when Richard hosted one of this business get together. The exception was when his potential clients or friends wanted to meat her. The were stuffy, conservative man and women who didn't approve of her dark, moody ways. Richard gave her a yellow dress for her to wear at these events, and beat her until she agreed to wear it. She was to act like she loved him, like he was the best father in the world, or she wouldn't be allowed to eat for two days.

It was during these times that Jade learned to act, to sing, any talent that got her appreciated. His clients, stuffy as they were, loved it when the cute little girl performed for them. The rewards for the performances was that she was allowed to spend some time at the party. While the parties were boring and stifling, they also had fresh food, and adults who would lavish her with attention and say nice things about her.

Fresh food was important. Jade didn't eat with Richard and her mother, she was not to touch any food they might be wanting to cook and eat later. Jade was allowed the leftovers, and food that was nearing the end of it's edible life. She became a decent cook out of a need to survive on what she was offered. Jade's skill set improved along with her ability to find a place to be while her mother and Richard were using the house.

More often than the parties, Richard would be out. Sometimes he would take Miranda, and Jade would be left to fend for herself. In order to have what she needed, the intelligent girl expanded on her existing survival skills. Jade learned how to busk, to perform for money. That skill took a couple of hours and, since her only expenses were food and the occasional toy, usually gave her enough money to live on for a couple for days. Jade was in many ways a cross between a parentified child, being good at taking care of herself, and an abused child.

Then there were the complications of living with Richard. Jade did all she could to avoid breaking his rules, but soon suspected that avoiding punishment in any way was breaking his rules. Jade didn't have to do anything for the occasional beating. He seemed to enjoy inflicting pain on her. Whenever he had a bad day and Jade was home, he would take it out on her in some way. Jade learned another rule, when Richard is stalking her, she would be allowed to run, to hide, but not to leave the building and she was to never tell anyone. The threats he made, as well as peoples high opinion of him, seemed to back up the idea that it was best for her to just endure. He was the kind of man who could get away with anything. He told her as much at least once.

All the while, Miranda was reminding Jade how much better their lives were now that Richard was taking care of them. Jade's mother constantly warned Jade to be good, not to mess this up, or all the sacrifices she made for Jade would have been for nothing. Jade worried about what he was doing to her mother. Jade wondered if things could get worse. Then, after over two and a half years, Jade turned twelve and Puberty happened. It was as if nature had decided to answer her question.

:}

Welcome to the story that has kicked my ass for two months. And while it's close to done, I still need to edit.

I want to start by saying that this story was inspired by the story "Life circumstances" by Victorious-FutureFictions. Inspired, but by no means a copy. Still, if you haven't, read it.

I could shout out to all the writers who's work I love and admire, but I want to keep this under a novel.

Reviews are welcome but not necessary. This story is for me to write. Enjoy.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (Later chapters.)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Jade's life had not been great, and it got worse with Richard. She had learned to endure pain while all her classmates spoke about how lucky she was to live in that nice house. Jade was neglected and abused while her peers thought she was just spoiled, not able to appreciate the nice things her stepfather did for her and her mother. Jade was convinced that she was somehow missing things, and that her life couldn't be as bad as she thought it was. And she knew it could be worse.

Unfortunately, puberty happened. By the time Jade was twelve, she was starting to take on her womanly form, and Richard noticed. At first it was unwanted touching. He would caress her, touch her growing breasts, and claim it was just him showing his affection for her. Jade had been on the receiving end of his affection for long enough to know he was lying. It was less than a week later when he switched tactics and threatened her. Jade took the extra beatings for her imagined misdeeds, in addition to the unwanted touching, for another two days before Richard threatened Miranda. Jade couldn't believe he would do such a thing, so she tried doing what the commercials told her to do. Jade tried to talk to people, let them know what a bad man Richard was. It was the first time she had the motivation to escape Richards 'stern rules.'

First she made the mistake of trying to talk to her mother, Miranda. She never really got the chance. Richard often worked from home, and so he was almost always around. Jade tried to get her mother alone, to tell her about everything Richard had done. Her mother just blew it off as Jade not liking Richards strict rules, normal teenage rebellion. Jade was determined to save her mother from this monster, but before she got a chance, Miranda fell down and sprained her ankle. Richard then upped his touching to include under her bra and down he pants.

Jade then tried telling her father. Henry West disliked Miranda, but Jade was his daughter, and Max loved his sister. Jade took advantage of one of her weekend visits to talk to Henry, telling him all the horrible things Richard did. Her father looked shocked by what she told him, and promised he would look into it. Jade's weekend was then cut short as her mother, while limping around the two story house they lived in with Richard, fell down the stairs and broke her arm. Jade didn't know that the way her father had "Looked" into her story was to call Richard. Henry didn't believe Jade, and since Richard often came across as caring to would be clients, Henry thought Richard was a good man and his demon seed of a first child was lying to get closer to Max. The two men came to an agreement that Richard would handle this, and Jade was sent home to be punished. Somehow Miranda's accident happened before she could get home.

When Jade got home, Richard was waiting for her. He looked upset, and told Jade that lying to people about how she was treated was dangerous to the family. Her mother would suffer if Jade continued to tell such lies. "Your mother's in the hospital because of you, and now you've got to make things better. You owe me because I cannot have your mother. This is something she gave me when we got married, and now you're going to have to give it to me."

Richard had waited until Jade was in her room before he started the punishment. He closed the door, placing a chair in front of it so she couldn't easily get out. Then he attacked her. It was different than the beatings he had been giving her up to that point. It still had him hitting her in places that would not likely scar, but he was tearing her cloths off in the process. Once she was naked, he fondled her. He was enjoying this. He made her sit in front of him as he removed his pants, then his underwear. Then she saw it, his hardness, and realized what was about to happen. She ran, only to be caught and beaten more as she tried to remove the chair. He forced her to the bed, turned her so he was behind her, and bent her over. The next thing she felt was pain. He entered her forcefully, thrusting for an untold amount of time before he was sated. It felt like he was tearing her in half from her crotch up. Jade was left, battered, bruised, and bleeding from her core. Richard lay on her back for a few minutes to gather himself, got up and got dressed.

As he was getting dressed, he addressed her once again. "From now on, you will have to pay for your upkeep. I expect access to you as needed. And Jade, you will clean up this room. It's a mess. Also, I expect you to pay for the sheets and the bed. Your bleeding's ruined them both."

In the end, he did replace them, but only after first trying a rubber sheet for the bed. Jade had to sleep on the sheet until she "Earned" the new comforter and bedspread. Eventually, the smell got bad enough that he changed the bed out.

Richard continued to rape Jade from that point on. He timed it so that her mother was either away or asleep, and never used protection. Jade thought about what she should do. Richard was untouchable. He seemed to be able to get away with anything. She would eventually learn that Richard had a vasectomy years ago. He didn't want any complications with his fun. But at twelve, Jade was more concerned with the growing hell she lived in. He took her weekly, sometimes only once per week, sometimes up to three times per week. He liked her not knowing when it would happen. He always gave her a day to recover, but was never gentle. If she struggled, he beat her. If she lay there and take it, he still beat her. He enjoyed the struggle, and didn't want to break her. It was less fun to him if she just meekly took it. He figured someone else would eventually break her will. He seemed to take great pleasure in her suffering, but pretended he only did it to help discipline Jade. The sessions often started with his reminding her "It's your fault this is happening."

Richard then systemically removed all her possible forms of escape. She tried cutting, only to have her mother hurt again, in the same places Jade had cut. Richard then confronted her. "Only God and I can mark your body, and as far as your concerned, we might as well be the same person. From now on, if you hurt yourself, or damage your skin in any way, I'll make sure your mother has matching scars. I want you to look pristine for when I fuck you." He then raped her again, beating her in the usual places. Jade knew he was serious, and worried for her mother safety.

Jade came to the conclusion that her mother would only be safe if she was no longer in the equation. After all, Miranda told her repeatedly that Richard was giving her a better life. The idea of ending it was reinforced when she found out her father had canceled all future visits with Max. She would only be allowed to visit her father when Max was not there, either visiting Miranda or other family members. Her father told her it was to protect the boy from her "Corrupting influences." He want on to tell her "I know you don't want to hear this, but Jade, you're a bad influence on Max. This is whats best for him. If you love him, somewhere in your dark, selfish heart, you'll let him go. He has a chance, but only if he lets you go and we focus on his success." Jade would now only see her father rarely, and Max when he sent her pictures on line. Other than that, the day she tried to tell her father was the last time she saw Max in person. So one day, to free herself and her mother, Jade tried to overdose on medications in her mothers drug Cabinet.

Jade's first attempt on her life failed. The drugs were a mix of placebo's she told Jade were real medications and over the counter stuff. Jade got sick, but recovered after a few days. As she was convalescing, Richard 'accidentally' gave her mother food poisoning. Miranda was in the hospital for three days, and Richard raped her each day, both in the morning before she was sent to school, and in the evening when she got home. He then took her blanket and comforters, and made her sleep in a cold room on the floor, as a reminder that if she dies, so does her mother. He told her with joy how he would kill Miranda, and bury her body in the desert. He told her that his friends would make sure he got sympathy but would never even be suspected of doing it. Jade got sick, but he didn't seem to care.

Then Jade tried getting drunk. She figured maybe she could numb the pain. The first time she came home drunk, he waited until she was recovering, in the hangover phase, then raped her ass. It was a new kind of pain, one Richard was pleased to find Jade hated. He then told her that from that moment on, Anal sex was something he could take from her any time he felt like it, part of the rent she was paying. He continued. "You do make it a challenge sometimes, but I'm researching even more painful and degrading sex acts to add to what you owe me. You don't escape me. And from now on, when I'm done, you will thank me for giving you my attention. Is that clear? I'm just letting you know, you're mine, and I can make this worse if you break any of my rules. I also was disappointed in your last report card. Keep your grades up, or both you and your mother will suffer. Clear?" Jade just nodded, holding back the tears. Richard enjoyed her pain, watching her cry, but didn't require her to.

It only took that one experience to give her the motivation to avoid addiction. She would never use anything unless she could be totally off it by the time she got home. Jade more than once detoxed hard from casual use, but it was better than being an addict. She knew if she became an addict he would win. Jade would find that even the temporary release from her pain was a blessing, but too risky to do very often. It also put others at risk. Jade didn't have many friends, but began to worry what would happen to any girl who became her friend if Richard felt he needed to punish her.

Richard, thanks to his vasectomy, never worried about getting anyone pregnant. As a result of that, and his tendency to sleep around outside of his wife and stepdaughter, he contracted an STD. Jade knew she was infected, but never found out the specifics, other than it was one that could go away with treatment. One day, Richard took her to a clinic outside of LA and had her treated. He didn't want to be reinfected, so he arranged for her treatment. It soon came out that Miranda was infected as well, and he had her treated in a closer but discreet location. Then he admitted to having an affair, and was forgiven far too easily. Jade missed the hint that Miranda might know things were happening. Her mother was willing to look the other way. And Richard swore it was just that one time.

It was a lie. He didn't sleep with a girlfriend, not anymore, he slept with girls he had some kind of blackmail on. The power turned him on, and so he enjoyed fucking those women as partial payment for him not telling the people they cared about whatever secret he had on them. More often than not, it was college age girls who made one little mistake and he would use them for months until he nearly broke them, then he would throw them to one of his less reputable friends. He didn't care what happened to the girls from there, but most of them would be free and clear within a year. Others were never seen again.

From that moment on, Richard would always have condoms. He didn't like using them, but he always had some. He didn't use any with Jade or her mother, or anyone he felt he had total control over, but many of his short term lovers might have other skeletons in their closets, and he felt it was best not to risk both his wife and stepdaughter having the same strain of the same STD at the same time. It might raise too many questions. Richard was determined to enjoy all the forbidden fruits that morality would have otherwise denied him.

Part of the reason no one suspected the abuse she went through was that Jade was a surprisingly good student. Her home life was a detractor, but Richard hurt her mother and raped her if her grades weren't good, so Jade put a lot of energy into school. It was also one of her few refuges. Richards preferred image was of the good father, so he didn't pull her from school unless it benefited that image. Jade could stay at school late working on a project and avoid the possibility that Richard might spontaneously assault her. It didn't stop the planned ones, just the spur of the moment assaults.

By the time Jade was thirteen, she was alone, distant from any possible friends. The risk to girls was too much, and no boy seemed interested in such a freaky girl. Her body was a good lure, but her personality and dark clothing were enough to keep most boys at arms distance. Jade was now armed, carrying scissors at all time, not trusting anyone. It was during this time that Jade started to see how much she stood out. Other girls had made fun of her, excluded her from any social activity, and in any other way bullied her. Jade was done taking it. The bitch in her came out, and her withdrawn personality became borderline violent. Jade West became the Gank, and quickly people learned to fear someone with almost nothing to lose.

Jade auditioned to Hollywood Arts Middle school, the early entrance program at Hollywood Arts High School. It was something a couple of Richards business associates had been recommending for almost a year. Jade's audition was too long, Jade wanted to show all of her talents in hopes of maximizing her chances. She got in, and impressed the panel with her versatility. At first, Richard was concerned that Jade might use the school as a springboard out of his grasp, so he told the school that he could not afford to pay their tuition. The school replied they wanted her, and arranged a scholarship. Most of their students were on scholarships, funded by various successful alumni. With so many of his clientele asking about her, wondering if she got in, he relented. Some of them could just ask the school, and he didn't need to be seen as a liar. That was a springboard to the loss of trust he worked so hard to get from them.

So Jade got into Hollywood Arts, and Richard had something else he could take away. He often threatened to stop paying for her to go to that school, even though Jade was on scholarship. The school did give her more freedom, since she would often have projects that took up her after school time. Richard adjusted, and raped her in the middle of the night instead.

It was also a time where Jade allowed herself to dream, knowing those dreams would never come true. She would indulge in dreams of her talent earning her the kind of money it would take to escape Richards grasp. Of taking her mother somewhere safe, and of bodyguards who would keep Richard away. Along with the horror stories she wrote, and her fantasies of her father saving her, they gave her an escape from the world she was trapped in.

It was also during this time that Jade started dating Beck. From the beginning their relationship was difficult. Jade approached him because he had this aura about him. Jade though he was one boy Richard couldn't touch. Her stepfather didn't even try. He was aware of how bad he would look if she never had a boyfriend, and as long as he got what he wanted, he didn't care about her dating life. Richard was convinced that Jade wouldn't tell Beck about what he'd put her through, out of embarrassment if no other reason. Besides, what guy would want to be with Jade if they knew how used up she was.

Jade had her own problems adjusting to dating. She didn't understand what men want, and was afraid, almost sure, Beck only wanted her for her body. Jade didn't want to lose him, but was afraid of sleeping with him because she wasn't a virgin. She was sure he wouldn't want her if he knew what she'd been through. Once she finally gave in to her fears and slept with him, giving an excuse about a bad first time about a year before they met, she made sure to always have him wear protection. She didn't want Beck to catch anything she might from Richard. She knew Beck was too good a guy to sleep around on her, so she had no fear of him giving her anything. Jade's excuse was she didn't want to get pregnant, and her mother wouldn't let her go on the pill. It was a lie. While Jade didn't particularly like small children, she desperately wanted a family of her own. Someone who would love her no matter what. Someone like Max used to be.

Beck, for his part, liked the challenge Jade represented. He let so much slide because he's just assumed everything Jade told him was true. Beck didn't feel the need to pry into her life, or find out if there were problems at home. At fourteen, Beck was everything he portrayed himself to be, a young man with no secrets. Beck was accepting, caring, and in general a positive influence. He'd have been shocked to know that Jade felt she had to sleep with him to keep him. Even the six month she made him wait before getting intimate was okay, the same thing many girls would have done. He believed her lies at the time, and accepted her because she was dangerous, and he liked the thrill. It would be later that the boy who saw himself as always open would develop his darker side.

In many ways Jade was dangerous. She had learned from Richards treatment of herself and her mother that everything came with a price, and for her that price would always be high. She knew that she would always hurt. So the thought of losing things, of having to replace anything she had, was painful. Yes, she lost a doll when she was young, before Richard, and cried because her mother immediately gave it to some charity when she said she didn't want it any more. However, That was just a small piece of the whole story. Later in her life, things she had could be taken so easily by Richard, or her father, And were hard or impossible to replace. So Jade learned to hold on at all costs to anything that brought her joy. Jade's possessiveness of Beck was because she knew he could do better, and would if she didn't make it clear she was his. Given her generally poor attitude and possessive nature, Jade lived in fear of losing anyone who cared about her.

The only positive dividends of Jade's possessiveness was Cat. Jade had made friends with Cat about the same time she met Beck, as she started at Hollywood Arts Middle School. Jade chose to try and be friends just because the sweet but weird girl was such an easy target. Jade figured she would trade protection for companionship. Cat just was happy to have another friend, and wouldn't question why they never did things at Jade's house. Jade quickly learned that Cat would be friends with anyone. This was a strange feeling, knowing that Cat would be her friend no matter how many others she had. Also, Cat was always willing to spend time with her, so wasn't jealous of the girls constant seeking of approval. If anything, Cats forgiving nature gave Jade hope that she would have someone miss her when she was dead.

Another result of Jade's possessiveness, probably the only positive result, was that she learned to be loyal to those she cared about. She knew first hand how harsh the world could be, and so Jade would stand by a friend through almost anything. She was determined that they would never have to face life's pains alone. Jade had developed a strange sense of morality, While always looking out for herself, whether to earn a little money to help get herself and her mother away from Richard or for whatever opportunity would bring a little joy into her dark existence, she balanced that with an intense loyalty to her friends. Jade's relationship with Cat was an example. Jade called Cat her friend. Jade didn't just give that honor away, because it meant doing whatever she could to help when a friend needed it.

Others slowly drifted into her life. Andre was Becks friend, and soon became hers. She felt a kinship with the musician. Their reasons were very different, but they both needed to perform. It was an outlet from their personal prisons. His crazy grandmother was not abusive, except perhaps emotionally, but she stressed him out. He was a good actor, but music was his escape and his passion. Beck loved the challenge of acting, finding something deeper in himself, but to a degree it was because he just loved the challenge. With Andre acting was far more organic. In most cases, he was as good as Beck.

Robbie was never Jade's friend, but only because of Rex. She felt good protecting the nerdy boy, and wondered at both his talents and his inability to see them. Almost as good an actor as Andre, more talented a musician than Beck, and with the technical skills beyond either, Robbie could have been a friend Jade enjoyed looking after. But Rex came with the package, and Jade suffered enough without the demented puppet constantly insulting her and her friends. Still, Robbie was a part of the group, and so Jade allowed herself some sense of familiarity with him.

Sinjin and company filled in the next strata, acquaintances she mildly cared about. Jade made sure that this was where any other girls found themselves. She had to be careful since she had no idea what Richard might do if he was left alone with one of her female friends. Cat, whom she moved mountains to protect, was soon her only female friend. Jade worked hard to make sure Cat was never in her home when Richard was. She also didn't want anyone to find out what she was going through, out of fear of what Richard would do. It was easy to hide, just telling everyone that she didn't want any of the 'freaks' knowing where she lived, and tracking Richards schedule enabled her to have sleepovers with Cat sometimes. It was one of the chief frictions she had with Sinjin, the boys tendency to stalk risked her secrets. During this time Jade also found excuses to sleep over at Cats, often lying about why she couldn't be at home so she could get away from Richard. He would sometimes wake her just to rape her, especially if he was drunk. Jade liked the occasional refuge from the uncertainty.

Jade had good reasons to protect her friends from her stepfather. Richard always seemed untouchable. Nothing he did seemed to so much as draw a glance from the authorities. Jade found a small benefit from his deep connections. He cleared up the little things Jade did, mostly to keep her around him, but also to protect his image. Anything above a certain threshold and he would punish her, but up to that point Jade shared a small part of his apparent immunity. Jade was convinced that for her mother to escape, to be free of this man, Jade would have to find a way to kill him. It wouldn't be easy. Once she tried to use her hammer to keep him away, and after that he took away all her potential weapons. She knew if she failed, he would kill her and her mother and he would get away with it.

:}

Some of you might not like Richard. Jade should think about getting a gun, don't you think?


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (Later chapters.)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

At fifteen, Jade's life was bad. Abused in multiple ways by her stepfather, and functionally abandoned to her fate by her parents, Jade had learned to be a survivor. She endured, then buried the pain. Since Richard had taken away her means of escape, she found other ways to survive. Yes, she could be a bitch, but it was a pail reflection of the trauma going on inside her mind. In many ways, Jade saw herself as the noble monster, the dangerous beast who warns the people away before they get too close and suffer the fate of the damned.

Jade was fifteen, not that anyone but the administration at Hollywood Arts had a clue about her age. She'd worked at giving the impression that she was older, so most of the school thought she was. She drove, acted like she was older, and in general gave no indication she was younger than Cat. Jade had skipped a grade earlier in life, and didn't want anyone to know. She'd been bullied about it before. She wasn't going to be bullied ever again. Also, people were more likely to be worried about the older students, the ones who might have the advantages age gives when people are that young.

Jade made sure that she was always in a position of power, that no one could tear her down or bully her again. One of the reasons she was so feared was Richard had tough her that fear was power, and Jade needed some place where she was in control, so she could feel safe somewhere. For her to feel secure, for her to be feared, she could not seem weak. It was about never seeming weak, no matter how weak she was feeling. And Jade was often feeling weak.

Then one day, Tori Vega walked into the school. Jade had heard of her. It seemed everyone at school was talking about her performance at the showcase. They just could not seem to stop talking, everyone was so impressed. Also, her performance was available to watch on the slap, so Jade knew about her. The girl had luck, something Jade never had, and talent. Of course, Jade knew about Trina Vega, already a strike against Tori. Not only had Trina gotten into Hollywood Arts with minimal discernible talent, but Trina got a spot on the showcase while Jade had been left off. Jade had no idea her father had orchestrated her being off the showcase, how he wanted to avoid any possibility of someone influential wanting to take jade away from him. She just knew that her spot had gone to Trina. Jade would normally let slide Tori being Trina's sister, but Tori got in from that one performance. Jade couldn't let that drop. Then Jade found the girl everyone was talking about rubbing Beck's chest.

Jade decided to let her know not to play with other peoples stuff. It was one role as a dog, and a cup of iced coffee over the head, and Jade thought she'd taught that girl a lesson. From that moment, Jade didn't care if Tori was back or not, she'd marked her territory. But Tori came back and beat her at an improve exercise, kissing Beck in the process. The message was clear, anything Jade had, or thought she could achieve, could be taken away in an instant. Tori was a threat to her place in the school.

For a while, the Latina was a convenient target for Jade's vast stores of anger. She played mean tricks on the girl, and reveled in the pain she caused. Jade has become the demon she always felt she was. Jade knew she had to be a monster, otherwise she would have been allowed some love in this world. Jade also knew Tori, sweet lovable Tori, could take Beck, her place in Hollywood Art, everything. So Jade did little things to get back at the Latina, and when she had the chance, she faked a black eye during their stunt fighting presentation and blamed Tori. Jade had more than enough experience with black eyes, knowing how long it would take for one to form, to heal, details she had gained from the abuse Richard liked to heap on her. It was almost ironic that Jade's black eye was fake, but Richard wasn't hitting her face as often anymore. One slip up during makeup, and there would be questions. Richard didn't want those kind of questions.

When Tori found out, then forgave Jade, it put her in an awkward position. Jade hated Tori with a special emotion born of fear and hope mixed together with envy. Tori's life wasn't perfect, but it was so much better than hers. Jade tried to drive the singer out, only to find she couldn't. Not only was the singer resilient, but Jade found herself holding back. Being at the school had given her too much to lose, and she wouldn't risk it until she had a way out of her living hell. Slowly they formed a friendship, and that fueled the mean treatment she continued to give the singer, but this time for a very different reason. Jade could not afford to have a female friend who couldn't be easily manipulated, or Richard might do something to them. As Jade started to like Tori, She felt she was putting the singer in more and more danger.

Richard, meanwhile, was letting Jade have more freedom. He had other projects and affairs taking up his time, and he was content to take Jade when he wanted, as she was available. His project of finding blackmail on coeds was building him a nice reservoir of favors that he used to keep himself out of trouble. Richard loved the power and had long term plans to move up in the world through his machinations. Of course, he was careful. One slip could cost him everything, so he hid each action behind layers of precautions and led his clients and friends to believe that the girls he provided were either being paid or otherwise willing.

Her relationship with Beck was slowly slipping as the Canadian slowly developed his dark side. Yes, he was mostly what people saw, but he was coming to understand that the girl he loved was damaged, probably unstable, and definitely dangerous. He found he enjoyed being the one who could control her, keeping her from unleashing on those around him. The fact that she disliked physical violence, seeing it as the resort of the unimaginative (like Richard) helped. Beck knew how unlikely it would be for Jade to resort to planned violence. He just had to make sure that she didn't do anything in a moment of rage. Beck was enjoying that power, because no one else knew how little Jade would do. And cool, collected Beck started watching for the warning signs that Jade was going to take out a large part of the school. He comforted himself by saying he would warn everyone, but deep down he knew he was unlikely to do more than stay out of the line of fire.

Jade spent the next year and a half slowly evolving her relationship with Tori and the others. The Latina helped her put on her play to impress her father, helped her get back with Beck twice, and had multiple little misadventures that the goth was often a part of. But no mater what happened with Tori and the gang, Jade always seemed to wind up back with Richard. So many time what looked like an opportunities to escape, or to earn her fathers affection, came and went and Jade was still trapped in the same place at home. Her best chance of escape, the Platinum Music Awards, she gave back to Tori out of a sense of respect. Beck was ready to move on, to be with Tori, and the singer chose not to kiss him. Tori could have just taken Beck right then, but she didn't because of Jade. The Goth found herself feeling gratitude for someone caring. Tori had shown loyalty to her, and she felt she had to return the favor. It was the first time she would call Tori a friend. It was the first time, despite everything Tori had done for her, she felt like Tori deserved her loyalty.

It wasn't easy giving Tori back her shot at fame. Jade needed money, anything that night help her get her mother away from Richard, help her escape. Jade would even eventually hijack Tori's shot at the game show Brain Squezers in the hope of getting some funds that could help her mother get out. Jade had no idea that Miranda didn't want to leave. Jade would always be on the lookout for something, anything, to bring back hope that she could have a normal life. The inner voice, the one that told her she deserved what Richard was doing to her, told her that she could try, but she would always fall short. It was like Richards sick games. She could run, but she wasn't allowed to leave. Jade at sixteen was in the middle of a roller coaster ride of emotions. Her desire to die, to end the pain warred with her hopes that the next time it would be her turn, and that her will would be enough to see her through.

Then, halfway through the second semester of her junior year, Jade's life started coming apart in sections. The things Jade did were starting to cost her, and Jade knew, despite the pain and loss, that it was for the best. When she helped Cat during her brief time living at the school, calling her parents and arranging a new place for her to live, she inadvertently arranged for Cat to transition out of her life.

Jade had arranged fro Cat to live with her grandmother, whom the redhead called 'Nona'. Since Nona lived in the Venice section of LA, Cat had less time to spend around Hollywood and so she had less time to spend with Jade. Then Cat's grandmother moved into a retirement community, and Cat got a new roommate. Sam, from the show ICarly, was like Jade in so many ways, but more street smart and less damaged. Tough and cunning, Sam and their babysitting business started taking up all of Cats after school time, and Jade faded from the redheads life. Jade tried to be happy for the sweet girl, who by now was so entrenched in the upper reaches of the Hollywood Arts popularity structure that she no longer needed protection in school. So Jade let her go and felt the emptiness of not having someone who cared about her around. Cat still though of Jade as her friend, but the goth knew Cat would quickly forget her as life moved on and her new circle of friends and her babysitting business continued to expand.

To complicate matters more, Jade had found herself repaying a debt to Sinjin by being in one of his short films. Tori was helping for reasons of her own that Jade didn't know, but probably Tori just being nice. The film was a single scene, romantic, about a chance encounter, adapted from a short story. Sinjin originally wanted to do the short with Jade and him as the actors since it was essentially about a one night stand, but the school required him to have actors other than the film crew, and the whole thing had to be PG at worst. The geeky boy settled for a little thrill by having Jade play the male part, while Tori was the girl. It ended with a kiss, and Jade's world slipped just a bit further from her control.

While no stranger to stage kissing, Jade knew that Tori had a talent for making such things real. Unknown to Jade, each time they rehearsed it, each time they kissed, the Latina used it as a chance to experiment with what she was feeling for the goth. Jade was being assaulted by passion and desire hidden in what from the outside looked like a kiss. To the film crew, it looked less awkward after each rehearsal, and after each take. But to Jade, there was a passion, so like what she felt with Beck, and in Tori's eyes she saw a confusion mixed with desire. It scared the tattooed girl, Tori's desire. By the time they were done filming, Jade knew Tori was drawn by something more than lust.

Tori wanted everything, the pain, the pleasure, but mostly she wanted Jade's heart. Jade felt some desire for Tori, but was with Beck. Jade didn't cheat. Also, she would never put Tori at risk of Richard doing something. Jade was well aware that Richard did what he wanted and got away with it. Still, all that confusion was hurting Jade, along with a deeper fear. Tori was lucky. She didn't always get what she wanted, but things always worked out for her. Jade was starting to worry about what would happen to her if Tori decided to pursue something deeper than friendship.

So there she was, the most feared student at Hollywood Arts, and she felt confused and alone. The school year was ending in just under a month, and Jade felt her tight nit group of friends starting to come apart. With Cat gone, she expected them to look for better company than she provided. She was also being meaner than normal to Tori, to drive the Latina away before she got hurt.

All the while, Jade was looking for summer projects to get her out of the house and away from Richard. Her life had mostly improved now that she could get short vacations from the systemic rape he inflicted on her. Deep inside she knew he was probably raping another girl, but she pretended that the cold, sadistic girl who love seeing others in pain was the real her and that "Better her than me." Inside, Jade was tearing herself up. She felt guilty that someone else was probably suffering for every moment of safety she had. She was the monster, and she should be suffering so others would be free.

Also, Jade was not looking forward to her senior year. The idea that she had no future warred with her desire to be loved by Beck. The time they spend apart had nearly driven her over the edge. Fear that Beck had finally realized he could do better, that she was just a wast of his time, consumed her. She was afraid he knew she was damaged goods, not worth the effort, the same thing she was afraid Tori would discover.

Part of her wanted him to move on, so she would be free to take out Richard, then herself. That way, Richard would never hurt her or her family again, and she would be free of all her pain. Other times, she wanted the dream so badly, she almost forgot that she had no way out. The dream, of being famous, of being loved, drew her like a moth to a flame, and it's honey sweet promises of a life without ever feeling alone and helpless was intoxicating. The idea of everyone loving her, looking out for her, and of having the money to put protection between her and the freaks of the world. That was the dream, and it made her want to live. Jade was caught between those two options of release, not yet totally ready to die and at the same time sure that Richard would never let her go.

All these things were warring in Jades heart and mind. Her desire for release, her loyalty to Beck, her strange feelings for Tori, the fact that Tori might like her 'That Way', the need to protect Tori from herself, and her hope that somehow she would live her dream all took up part of her concentration, constantly distracting her just a bit.

So that day, her day had been going like any other except she went home early. Despite getting back together with Beck, as much out of loyalty as for her deeply held feelings, they didn't spend every waking minute together. They had been spending more and more time apart as Jade started letting go of things holding her to this world. Today she wanted to clear her head and write. She had planned to get another chapter of her upcoming horror novel written. She was so caught up with her thoughts that she missed the warning signs. Her mother was out, but her mother was often out this time of the day. What Jade forgot to do was look down the street for Richards car, only checking the garage. Of course he'd hid it from her, just to catch her unaware. Jade walked into her room to find him already there.

"Hello Jade. It's time to pay the rent." Jade saw him, and her first instinct was to run. It never worked, but she always tried. He seemed to like it, because it gave him a reason to punish her. Jade had found, however, that not running would get her punished as well, so she took the chance that this time she'd get away. She knew the rules, if she got away, she was safe, but she could not just run out of the house or he'd take it out on her mother. So she was left with a demented game of hide and seek that she could not win. Within minutes he'd cornered her in the basement and the punishment began.

First he hit her. He knew where he could beat her without leaving visible marks but cause the most pain. Quickly he subdued her, beating her down, then he ripped her cloths off. She didn't go for her scissors, or even offer much in the way of fighting back, knowing that he would take it out on her family. He'd even recently threatened to use his influence to hurt Max. Once he had Jade in shredded cloths, he used part of her blouse to tie her up so he could remove his pants. The rest was by the numbers, with the occasional blow to remind her who he was in charge. He raped her for a good ten minutes before finishing, then he he forced her to thank him. He always forced her to thank him. It wasn't to break her, she would need to be subjected to much more condensed conditioning to break her, but he got off on what it did to her. He loved the power.

Neither of them knew he would never have that power again. As he was pulling his pants up, men rushed into the room, guns pointed at Richard. They quickly stepped between him and Jade, screaming at him. "On the floor NOW!" "Step away from the girl." "I said on the floor now before I blow your FUCKING BRAINS OUT!" Several men were yelling at him, Waring him to stay away from her, forcing him to lie on the ground. As they put him in cuffs, Tori Vega rushed by them to check on Jade. Jade couldn't make sense of what she was seeing. Too in shock to realize these men wore the black uniforms of the LAPD.

Jade didn't know it, but Tori had come over to stop Sinjin, who she found out was planning on spying on Jade with his new tech toys. Tori had heard from Robbie that Sinjin had made a bet with Burf, and decided to use some ultrasonic recording technology to gain proof that Jade masturbated. Tori knew she had to stop such an invasion of privacy. Tori believed all girls masturbated, but that should never be common knowledge. When Trina had refused to take her, wanting to stay away from the creepy boy, Tori had begged everyone she could think of, finally asking her father. It was one of the rare days where he was home, and since he needed the break from his tedious paperwork, he agreed to give her the ride.

Sinjin had found himself in a moral quandary. He was recording the audio of the assault, but to tell someone would risk him being arrested for being a pervert. Sinjin found he could also get a visual of the assault with a Search-camera. When David confronted Sinjin, during the rape, the lanky boy showed the police officer what he was recording. Detective Vega called for Backup, arrested Sinjin and waited for Backup to arrive. They arrived within minutes. After backup arrive, detective David Vega had led a team in to arrest the man for raping his step daughter. There were a dozen witnesses who caught the tail end of the assault while waiting for Jade to be clear and thus "safe," with both audio and visual recordings, and physical evidence of what Richard did to Jade.

As Tori cradled the goths head, officer Vega read Richard his rights. Richard looked at Jade with more hatred than she'd ever seen from him in the years he'd been assaulting her. She hoped it was over, but was afraid that his immunity to being prosecuted would keep him free. His past told her he would beat this, then take it out on her family. She couldn't take comfort in her tormentor being dragged away in handcuffs, sure that Richard would make her pay for the inconvenience of being arrested. With all the evidence, he couldn't have her refuse to press charges.

Jade would later find out that arresting Richard would close three other rape cases, as well as a murder. With those charges hanging over him, and Jade in protective custody, he couldn't touch her before he was arrested trying to flee the country. For some reason, He didn't try to hurt Miranda, probably because he intended to fight the charges. Also, the police were watching his every move. A loving wife by his side, claiming her daughter had to be wrong, was worth a lot more then any revenge. Not to mention that he'd be caught for sure, and with everything else against him, he wanted to avoid the possibility of it becoming a death penalty case. Besides, Jade's mother had discreetly tried to help him escape the country. Richard was going to go to prison for a long time. Jade, however, was far from out of the woods.

:}

This is far from over, but for now, Jade is safe.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (Later chapters.)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

At sixteen, nearly seventeen, Jade was in the system. Specifically the foster care system. At that point neither of her parents wanted to be responsible for her. Miranda, her mother, was playing the loving wife, refusing to believe that her husband could do such a thing. She stood by Richard, asking the press and his future judges for sexual offenders classes, because "Richard is a good man."

Henry West still didn't want Jade near his precious son, or his new wife. His concern for her was overshadowed by a mix of the need to protect his family from his now damaged daughter, the concerns his new wife had about how dangerous Jade might be and somewhere deep inside, maybe a little guilt. Jade was in limbo, "But only until the trial." That's what they kept telling her, and she was still too new to the system to doubt what all those people were telling her.

Richard was quickly trapped by the growing mountain of evidence against him, as well as his attempt to flee. Forensics teams were able to use Jade's old doctors appointments and bits of other evidence gathered to prove he had been raping her for years. Over a hundred counts of sexual assault as well as battery and abuse just represented what they were charging him for his abuse of Jade, and was a fraction of the likely abuse he'd inflicted upon her. The most serious charge, aiding and abetting a murder after a sex crime, was just as easy to prove. Up until he was arrested he had never been in the system, but some of his DNA was under the fingernails of the victim, and she had been raped repeatedly by multiple people. Even giving up the others involved would only buy Richard out of first degree murder, and it would lose him valuable friends, friends who were helping him right then. Instead he made his deal, but the best he could get was to have all his sentences served concurrently. It meant that instead of serving over six hundred years without parole, he would serve fifteen to life with parole available after twelve years. He also would have three strikes on his record, and even a jaywalking ticket could send him back to prison. He was also a registered sex offender.

During the two weeks Jade was held in protective custody, she saw the world slowly fall apart again. Richard called out to his friends, and they had her arrested as an accomplice to his other rapes. They didn't try and push the charges, they just needed them on her record. As long as Jade was a suspected rapist, her life would be so much harder, and they could punish her for whatever she did to Richard. Also, it would make any testimony she gave more suspect. Jade was in handcuffs for only a couple of hours before being released without being formally charged. It was long enough. They would leave the charges on her record, listed as charged as an adult but still building a case.

Jade also saw her visitors vanish overnight. One day, Tori, Beck and the rest of the gang were taking turns spending time with her, but it was obvious that Robbie would rather be someplace else. The next, she had no one. When the decision of what to do with her came down, she tried to tell everyone, but only got voice mail or left messages on their slap page walls. Her own Slap page was deleted, her first hint that she was not going to be returning to the school she loved so much.

After he plead guilty, and his lawyer switched to protecting his assets, Jade quickly found no one wanted her. Jade was a suspect in multiple violent crimes. No one would push the investigations, because they would only exonerate Jade, but the suspicion was enough that everyone rejected her. Henry refused to have such a dangerous maniac near his family, while Miranda's choice to stay by Richards side labeled her unfit to finish raising Jade. Her friends all couldn't be responsible for her, and no group home or foster family in Los Angeles county would touch her. Jade found herself sent to the Siskiyou County Open Hears Group Home, a group home in Weeds, California. It was the one chosen by Richards friends.

The home was actually a compound with half a dozen houses around a couple of central buildings, just a couple of miles outside the town. Located in the hills, the compound had a great deal of privacy, as well as a ten foot tall security fence. Jade was shown to her room as the level system of the home was explained to her. As the new girl, Jade was going to share a room with two others. After a week, she would get off probation and start earning higher levels in the home. Each level brought more privileges. She would attend school on line until she earned the right to go to the local high school. She was also told about the layout of the compound. There were two homes for teen boys and one for teen girls, each housed eight kids, along with houses for younger children on the other side of the compound. After the house manager explained everything to her, she was shown to her room and allowed to get comfortable.

Jade quickly ran afoul of the resident who, in all ways except officially, ran the girls house. Virginia Garcia, or Ginny, was on the highest level, had all the privileges including a private room, and expected Jade to fall in line with her program. Only, it wasn't the houses program. Ginny was a gang banger with a good head for finding the loopholes in the system. Despite multiple safety precautions including background checks, some bad people found their way to working at this out of the way group home. While some good ones applied and even worked there, they didn't last long, and the bad ones would invite their friends to work there with them. The local guys who worked here were willing to trade sex for privileges, drugs, or whatever you needed. Ginny held the complete allegiance of two other girls, and through them won alliances with the similar power players in the boys houses. The staff didn't force the girls to have sex, but Ginny needed girls who would work for her, and sex was the currency they traded.

Jade was there for less than two days before Ginny informed Jade that the only way she would move up levels was to give some guy a blow job. Jade refused, and a fight broke out. Years of stage fighting had given her a surprisingly good understanding of how to fight, and Richard had helped her be able to function while in pain. Since Jade knew how to throw a punch, she quickly overwhelmed Ginny. Then Ginny's girls jumped in and Jade was on the receiving end of another beating. While Ginny and her friends loosened a tooth or two, and bruised some ribs, Jade managed to escape without any permanent damage. Afterwords, Jade was written up as a trouble maker and put on the punishment level. Jade had lost the few privileges she had, but she didn't care.

It was a few days later and one of the staff told her to do Ginny's chores. Jade complained to the house manager, who told her to shut up and follow procedure. Jade was on the punishment level, and should expect to do extra chores. Jade complied, only to be informed by one of the staff that if she would be doing extra chores until she put out. Jade again refused, and for the second time tried reporting the staff to the house manager. The manager took her complaint and told her that there would be no repercussions. Then the staff member wrote her up for some imagined crime, and with the help of another staff, threw her in the hole. While the two dragged the still injured and struggling Jade to her punishment, he groped her multiple times, as well as hitting her injured ribs. Jade was surprised they didn't rape her, but later learned that it was against Ginny's rules for anyone to just take sex, and Ginny was the one person who could get them in trouble for it. (If they took it, she couldn't sell it, so she had to regulate the sex trade somehow.)

It was Jade's first time in the hole, but it wouldn't be her last. The hole was a closet, reenforced, where disruptive kids could be thrown or, in the cases of more severe behavior issues, hung by their wrists from some manacles on the wall. Jade was just tossed there for a day to think about what she did while they wrote the incident report.

Jade was hungry, uncomfortable, and mostly thirsty when they let her out a day and a half later. She had to spend the extra time in the hole because she urinated while in the closet. She was told she was not allowed to urinate or defecate while in the whole. After she recovered, taking another day, she was forced to clean the hole. Jade was weak, hurting from the earlier beatings as well as the punishment. Good staff would bother to check and find out just how illegal the hole was, but they didn't want to rock the boat. Besides, good staff would have know that state regulations limited group homes to two residents per bedroom.

During the next few days, Ginny once again told Jade who she had to sleep with to get out of trouble. Once again, Jade refused, and still weak, was subject to a beat down. Again, after the beating, she was written up for fighting and put in the hole. Jade managed to only stay in twenty four hours this time. Jade quickly learned to avoid Ginny whenever possible. She just wanted to serve her time and age out.

By the end of the first month, Jade had figured out the system. She was, however, defiant to the unlawful rules and refused to sell her body to these people just for a few privileges. A part of her was happy to be allowed, for the first time in years, to choose who she would have sex with, and deep inside she would rather die than give that up. Jade tried to avoid Ginny, and she tried to co-exist, but she was too attractive to be allowed to just do her own thing. Many of the boys and a few of the staff wanted her and were willing to pay for the privilege of being the first to fuck this girl.

So the pattern was forming. Ginny would tell her who to sleep with, Jade would refuse, and Ginny would assault her. Jade did, however, manage to avoid further trips to the hole. She just had to not fight back when the girls attacked her. There was always some punishment after the assaults, but if Jade didn't fight back then she wasn't sent to the hole. Some small scars now covered her body, still nothing permanent, and Jade was still determined to last the year plus and walk out of the home. Or kill herself as soon as possible. Jade was starting to think about the option of ending her own life. Suicide became a more attractive option each day, but Jade wouldn't do it while Beck, Max and maybe Tori were waiting for her. That's what she told herself, but the pain was growing inside her each day.

During her second month there, Jade was attacked at the fourth of July party. Several guys asked her for various sexual favors, and after she refused them all a couple tried to force the issue. Jade fought back as fiercely as she could, and may have injured one, but two guys and her weakened condition made it a short struggle. The guys hit her until blood fogged her vision, pulling her down to an out of the way place and ripping her cloths off. She knew, from earlier experience, she had at least two bruised ribs, possibly cracked. Somehow someone stopped them. Jade heard Ginny talking.

"Boys, you know the rules. You don't get pussy for free. Now if you want to finish what you started, well that's tripple the normal rate without the penalties for doing this without my blessings. Half again because she's still kinda pretty." Ginny told the boys. "So pay up, or we might have ourselves a problem."

The boys looked at each other. One shrugged, and the other turned to address Ginny.

"We don't have that kind of scratch. How about a discount." The boy said.

Out of nowhere, Mike, one of the staff, showed up to shoo the boys away. It didn't take a single word, just the threat, and the boys started to scamper.

"Guys, it's still twenty each for the fun you've already had." Ginny said. "Pay me now, and I'll let you share Sylvia for the normal rate."

Jade didn't hear the rest of that conversation as Mike helped her to her room.

"You know, Jade, it's customary to tip the guy who saves you something." Mike said.

"I'm not putting out. No head, no hand jobs. I'm not giving it up to anyone." Jade wheezed

"Suit yourself." Mike said, then he dragged her to the hole. Jade didn't have the strength to resist as he hoisted her up and clamped the manacles around her wrists. "You should be more grateful, you stingy bitch." he groped her, then shut the door.

Jade almost died, hanging in that closet for almost two days with injured ribs. Her injured body hung there, ignored, as the bleeding slowly stopped. Jade herself slowly slipped into and out of consciousness, drifting more and more as the time wore on.

After two whole days she was pulled out by an oncoming staff who made it a point to check the room. After all, dead residents drew attention, and that would would just bring all kinds of trouble. They had licensing and the local law enforcement fooled, but too many dead residents brought in Child Protective Services, and they were less likely to just take the programs word for things. An investigation could even mean jail time for most of the staff, so management took this kind of problem very seriously.

As punishment for just leaving her hanging in the hole, Mike was told not to touch Jade. Meanwhile Jade would spent a week in the hospital to recover from the ordeal and it's complications, including Pneumonia. The incident report blamed her, of course. Jade had had enough, and decided that maybe they needed a dead resident. It would at least free her from all the pain.

As soon as Jade got home from the hospital, she put her plan into action. Unfortunately, Jade hadn't scoped out her resources as much as she had hoped, and the attempt to hang herself failed when the makeshift rope broke. Jade hadn't realized how cheap the towels were. Jade fell, admittedly already fading, and hurt herself from the landing. Not the kind to just give up, she decided to find something stronger and try again. The problem was she needed to recover from her first attempt. The staff found her, freaked out just a bit, felt her up (again), and put her in the hole. Jade was only in for twelve hours, since they were still worried she might die.

Jade waited maybe two weeks, planning on spending her birthday freeing herself from this hell hole. Jade was still beaten regularly, but the requests for sexual favors were almost forgotten. Jade felt like they were just beating her now because it was part of the routine. Moreover, they had started targeting areas that were not seriously injured. Meanwhile, residents would take her stuff and the staff would berate her for making an issue out if it. They calmly claimed that no one stole anything from her, and she should stop being so difficult.

Jade's birthday was spent in virtual isolation. No one wanted to celebrate her birthday, and instead they went ahead with a planned outing while Jade was forced to stay at the compound. The last part was predictable, all the kids on punishment stayed behind. Jade would normally be forced to watch the younger children, but the guys didn't want to be tempted so they just had her stay in a spare room and they left her alone. Jade still tried to enjoy the day alone, planning her next move. By morning, she would be free of this place.

That night, Jade snuck out. Using an extension cord and a tree branch, she tried to hang herself again. The overnight staff, already watching her, found her before she faded too far, rescued her, and put her on bed rest for a few days for observation, as well as light duty for the next week. During this time, Jade was left alone. Nearly completely alone. They fed her but otherwise ostracized her. Jade was treated as a leper, and the staff allowed it. It was almost a punishment for trying to get the whole establishment in trouble.

The only exception, the only one who would talk to her, was a young woman on staff named Sheila, who seemed to be one of the rare good ones on staff. Sheila talked to Jade, trying to convince her she had lots of reasons to live. Sheila even made promises to help her move to another site once she got on level (Off punishment). Sheila tried to assure Jade that with her help, Jade would be able to get out of this home "The right way." She tried to be Jade's friend, spending as much time as she was allowed over the three days, talking about everything that might come up. Then one day, towards the beginning of August, the house manager told Jade that her meeting with the off sight Social Worker went well, that she loved it here, and that she felt she her behavior was probably why she wasn't making progress in the program. They had lied to the social worker, and Jade quickly realized the only person who could have pulled it off was Sheila.

Jade at this point, as she was reeling from that betrayal, received her first pieces of mail from her friends back at Hollywood Arts. They came in a group one just a couple of days ago, and the staff happily let her have them, after pre-reading them to be sure of the contents. Jade received restraining orders from the Vega family, from the Harris family, and from the Oliver family. The last one hurt the most. Jade was not to come withing fifty yards of them, or try to contact Beck, or any of her old friends or their families, in any way.

Mailed at the same time, and delivered with her restraining orders, came a letter from Beck explaining how, after what she had done to that poor girl, he couldn't be with her anymore. The letter was shy on details, but it quickly became clear that Beck blamed her for the girl Richard had raped and killed. He seemed to believe she was capable of doing it, and while he sugar coated it, he funtionaly called her a psychopath.

Beck had written the letter a while ago, but didn't know where she was. He'd talked to social services to send the letter, and they had agreed. Beck would continue telling everyone how he couldn't believe that Jade was willing to go along with Richard on such a grievous act. How she had to have been desperate, and that it wasn't the actions of the girl he thought he knew. Richard's friends had made it easy for Beck to get a hold of the supposedly sealed records of Jade's involvement, and to his shame Beck never questioned them. He never checked the dates to see how often she was in two places at once, often with him and multiple others. He just accepted every word as the truth. Beck had secretly been watching her, waiting for her to break. While he didn't know about her home life, he knew she was in pain. He just assumed it was part of the mixed up package that was Jade. So he'd been waiting for her to snap so he could be the one to talk her down. While he did have feelings for her, he believed Jade was capable of selling out nearly anyone for a few moments of peace. So Beck, the boy with no secrets, told lies to his friends, over and over, in the hope that some day he would believe them. The guilt he felt at not doing anything, not helping, would be the beginning of his facing his own darkness.

Jade, Upon reading the letter, was undone. What small desire she had to live vanished. She was hated by everyone, even the people who she thought of as friends. Beck had explained that he was trying to extend the restraining order to include Cat. Jade hadn't yet earned the right to use the phone, but now that wasn't worth trying. As the enormity of her situation hit her, Jade snapped, walked over to another girls stuff, stole her razor, broke it open, and slashed her wrists. She even slashed them up the arteries to make it impossible for them to save her. Jade walked, still bleeding, to the hole, and slumped down in the closet. Let them be pissed at her for bleeding in that room. There was nothing anyone could do to hurt her anymore. She was crying as consciousness fades, the staff freaking out around her.

Jade woke up in the hospital, this time there were police guards outside her room and she was handcuffed to the bed. She was being arrested for attempted murder. Jade didn't care. All she knew was that she was now more determined then ever to just end it. She had no reason to live, and plenty of painful memories that encouraged her to die. It would be a while before they let her out of the cuffs, but that was the price of a failed attempt. She would quickly find out she's been legally dead for almost thirty seconds, and unconscious for nearly three days. Stitches up each arm showed her that they had managed to repair the arteries, probably after some time in surgery. The whole thing fascinated her, but other than the writer in her, she couldn't care about what they had done. In her mind, it was a wast of effort. Next time, she'd make sure they never revived her. She started making plans.

The day after she woke up, she got a couple of visitors. First was Mr. Nelson, the Administrator at Open Hearts. It was her first time meeting him, despite his supposed open door policy. His office was located in the central buildings of the compound, but he didn't like directly dealing with the residents. He walked in and talked at Jade, ignoring anything she might have to say. "You know, no one forced you to stay with us. We never locked the gate." A lie, it was always locked. "We're not allowed to. But more important, you could have called your social worker in L.A. At any time, and requested to be moved." Another lie, they didn't let her touch the phone. "It doesn't matter anymore. You're a trouble maker, and I'm afraid we're going to have to send you to the Farm, a locked facility for the mentally deranged. I'm recommending you be committed." With that Mister Nelson, the administrator of the Open Hearts group homes, turned and walked out. Jade didn't care. She would be dead or so drugged she couldn't tell the difference. That was fine with her.

About an hour to an hour and a half later, she got her next visitor. Ginny Garcia, being on the top level, could leave the compound whenever she wanted, and they routinely listed her as a close friend to any injured girl who went to the hospital, so jade wasn't too surprise when the gangsta waled in for a visit. The guards didn't blink. However, this time, there was something different about the way Ginny was walking. She looked at Jade, and it looked like she was seeing the goth in a new light. Something had changed, but Jade just couldn't bring herself to care.

"How're you feeling?" Ginny asked.

Jade had wanted to ignore her, but the girl was moving closer, and Jade wouldn't be able to defend herself from anything Ginny did to her. Dead was no longer scary, but Jade was tired of the pain. "Why would you care?" Jade shot back. All the hurt inside her hidden by her resolution to be nothing before the school year began in about a week. Ginny meant nothing to her now.

"Normally I wouldn't. But you're leaving, so we were having the traditional rummage through your stuff last night and I found a couple of things. I found your yearbook from last year." Ginny said, pulling the yearbook from her backpack. Jade had been trying to keep everyone from steeling her stuff, so some of it was 'Checked in', making the staff legally responsible for it. Jade was astonished to learn that the staff and other residents hadn't already been allowed to take what they wanted. "This is your first placement, isn't it. Funny, most people who wind up here have been in the system for a few years, and are generally written off. You must have done something really bad to be sent here first."

Jade knew now why they had sent her here, but none of it mattered anymore. She studied the other girl, trying to guess her angle. "What do you want?" Ginny opened the yearbook.

"I'm getting there. While going through your yearbook, I noticed you were an actress, singer, writer, and filmmaker. I also found this." Ginny then pulled out a three subject notebook, putting the yearbook down on the table next to Jade. "Your writing. You're good. I even bothered to look you up this morning. You've had a play done all professional like. Paid actors and everything. You have no idea what that means."

"No, I don't" Jade said. The play had worked, it had convinced her father that she wasn't a complete waste of space. Pity it the whole thing had been a wast of her time.

"Figured. Point is, I have a deal for you." The gangsta looked Jade in the eye, her own showing something Jade could not identify, having never seen it before. "How about I save you. I get you out of this place, to someplace where they can help you. Not the Farm. That place is a joke. This organization owns that place too, and it's just housing until you die. As far as I know, they drug the residents up, then fuck the ones they want. Not a good place. No, I'm talking about somewhere with people, where the rules are fair, and you can get better. Somewhere where you will be cared for. Those places do exists. I've even been in a couple. How about it." Ginny was smiling.

"You never liked me. Why help me now? What do you get out of it?" Jade was suspicious, but had nothing to lose by talking.

"Let me tell you an open secret. They say once a kid gets into the system, into a group home, they got about a one in six chance of making something out of their lives. I've been in the system since I was twelve, and most of the kids I met would be lucky to have those odds. Lots of kids sing, but we don't have what it takes to be professionals, to make it in the music industry. You almost sang on national TV." Ginny said.

"And the point?" Jade wasn't intrigued, but Ginny didn't normally talk about herself, and Jade thought she might as well listen. Besides, the girl had taken the time to do some research, and Jade respected the effort.

"You know I never do anything unless I'm getting something out of it. So here it is. You see, You could make it. Make a movie. Maybe you'll act, or direct, or you'll write it. You write horror. I love horror films. Anyways. That's my deal. I know I'm eventually going to get kicked out of this place, and I'll have to make it on my own. I could claim you'd owe me, but there's a strong chance we'll never see each other again, and I might wind up in jail. Odds favor me winding up in jail. So what I want is to be able to tell people that I knew you back in the day. I'm gonna take a few pictures of us together, and later on, when you're famous, I'll be able to make up shit about how we were friends once." Ginny said. "However, there's another condition. You gotta live, and I mean no more new scars live. What good does it do me to tear down everything I have now, with three months before I age out, when you're just gonna ice yourself as soon as you get out of here. So no killing yourself. Do we have a deal? I guarantee you, today I'm motivated. If you refuse me, I might just sell your ass to the boys. There's dead, and raped to death." Jade knew enough to know Ginny would never make any offer unless she had some power, so the threat might be her attempt to exert some control over the situation.

"So I have to promise I'll live?" Jade asked.

"Just that you wont shorten your life, and you might as well add any type of self harm to the list. No worries about acts of god. I gotta respect the big guy. We got us a deal?" She asked. Jade inwardly shuddered at the mention of God. Richard once told her that to her, he was God. Now he was in jail, and she hoped he had it at least half as hard as she had these last two and a half months.

At first, it made no sense to her. Why would Ginny give up everything she had for a shot at nothing. Yes, a resident could escape and report them. The whole thing was a house of cards, just waiting for some hotshot reporter or desperate family member to bring it all crumbling down. However, it could also last for years, and Ginny would be gone in three months. The whole thing looked like a trap. There was no reason for Ginny to be taking the risk that the administration wouldn't hand her out as the pimp she'd become.

So Jade wanted to say no, but what Ginny was asking for was for Jade to live her dream. The one thing she had hope for when Richard owned her. Yes, Jade wanted to die, to leave all the pain behind. But looking at the focus on the other girls face, Jade started to understand just how much this meant to her. Realization hit quickly. Ginny needed someone in her life to succeed, beating the odds, because that meant she might too. Just having Jade out there fighting would give her the motivation to try. Jade had nothing to lose. If Ginny didn't come through, she could always kill herself later, and if the girl did get her to someplace better, maybe Jade's dream would be enough to make up for everyone she'd ever loved or called friend abandoning her. Maybe. "What makes you think I'll make it?"

"Two months, countless beatings, and as much coercions as I could put on anyone, and you never gave in. Hell, I'd have let those jerks rape you except it's bad for business. Lord knows, any other girl would have fucked anyone I told them to just to get out of the coercion I'd laid on them. If you could hold on through all that, I think you have the will to succeed. You just gotta have the will to live." Ginny said. "If not for me, then do it for all the girls in the system looking for something to hold onto. They, We need you to live the dream so we have some hope that maybe we can to. The interviews where you tell us we need to work hard, those will be magic to our ears." Jade was taken by the sound of Ginny's voice. Like hope, real hope, had paid her a visit for the first time in six years.

"Okay, you have yourself a deal." Jade said, her voice barely above a whisper. It felt nice to have someone, anyone believe in her, even her tormenter. Having been betrayed before by this place, Jade didn't really expect much, so what happened next astonished her.

Ginny didn't answer her, barely acknowledge Jades response. Instead she walked to the phone in Jades room, a determined look on her face, and dialed out. A few minutes later, Ginny was talking to Child Protective Services, explaining how the remote location of the group home and friends in the local police enabled them to get advanced warnings of Licensing's visits, of how bad the place was, and a list of other crimes committed by the home. To finish it off, she had a nurse she knew fax over Jades record, and had them compare it to the indecent reports filed by the group home. She also told them where, by executing a search warrant quickly, they could find all the evidence they needed to close Open Hearts for good.

After the call was done, Ginny turned to Jade and said "I told them your life was in danger. State police are on the way and should be here shortly." Then the girl sat down next to Jade and waited. "So who's your celebrity crush?"

:}

Doubt it's too realistic, but I like the turn of events. Who thinks Richard is out of the story now?


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit.

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

After nearly three months of hell in the Open Hearts group home, Jade was waiting for the whole thing to end. She was scared, not sure what would happen to her now that she had an out from Open Hearts and the torture they inflicted. She had no reason to believe things would get better.

Ginny had waited with her for over two hours until the state police arrived. She had made small talk, discussion boys, crushes, and in general acting like a seventeen year old girl hanging out with a friend, something neither of them thought Ginny was capable of. When the police finally arrived, by helicopter, Ginny said goodby and walked off, talking to the police. Jade didn't have a chance to ask what was going on as she was immediately loaded onto that helicopter and airlifted to another hospital. It would be the place where she would spend the next three weeks.

Jade, while recovering from the ordeal at Open Hearts, was only told bits and pieces by the police. They still didn't trust her, since she was a girl who seemed to have gotten away with murder. Some of them seemed to think that Jade deserved whatever had happened to her. Still, Jade held onto her deal with Ginny. The gangsta had come through, and now it was her turn. It was slowly becoming part of her mantra, how she now had to live for all the girls in the system. Just being in the hospital was better then before. The doctors here were far more concerned with what had happened to her, and they refused to release her until they were sure her injuries were healing properly. Even the food was better, considering it was hospital food.

The Siskiyou County Open Hears Group Home was no more, closed down within six hours after Jade was airlifted out. The state police staged a massive emergency raid. Due to their inability to trust the local police, as well as the short notice, the state police used officers borrowed from the near by California counties, as well as some from Oregon, to bolster their numbers and make sure no one interfered with the raid. It was the only way to get the children out of danger, as well as gather the evidence that would help prove the systemic corruption and abuse of the residents. The homes were shut down, the counselors and staff were all arrested, and the kids put in emergency shelters and their social workers were informed about what had happened. There would be chaos as the various counties tried to find new placements for the residents. Over fifty residents were being moved.

Ginny made a deal with the police, turned states evidence to be tried as a minor, and was sent to a juvenile detention facility in her native Alameda county. She would serve a couple of years in Juvenile detention, then have her records expunged. Ginny was guaranteed vocational training as long as she followed the Facility's rules, and could earn home visits with her family. Hopefully, once she was out, she could use her training to get a good paying job and be a productive member of society. Ginny was getting a good deal, but the state was getting value for it. They were putting a lot of the staff, as well as a couple of the older residents and all the administration, away for years.

Jade was still in Limbo. She was in Eureka, Ca. While the town had less than thirty thousand people, it was a mecca compared to Weeds, which had less than five thousand if you included all the close by communities, and even the Siskiyou County county seat at Yreka, with less than ten thousand. Jade had fun wrapping her head around that thought. LA had over three million people, and Jade missed it so much. But comparing the numbers did help her pass the time. It also made her homesick.

While in the hospital, Jade was visited by a social worker from LA county. He wasn't her worker. Her social worker was busy with other concerns, and this guy was in the area vising clients anyway, so he was sent to help her. He informed her that as part of Ginny's deal, Jade was to be moved to the best group home for her needs that would take her. No group home or program in or near L.A. was willing to touch her, but maybe she had a second choice of where to be sent. Jade looked at all her choices, and decided to go to a home on the Peninsula near San Francisco. She hoped to go to Calarts, but the California Academy of Arts was a good second choice, and it was in San Francisco.

Jade soon found herself in a group home in Pacifica, Ca. Despite being close to a major city like San Francisco, the town was nestled in some hills along the coast, and had that small town feel. As small as forty thousand people could feel, but they were spread out, and there was a lot of open space. Especially around the compound. The relative isolation gave the compound privacy. Unlike Open Hearts, the helping Hands Group Home compound was only for teens. There were about eight houses on a hillside, equally split between boys and girls, housing ten residents each. The houses were around a couple of central buildings, and spaced out both up and down as well as across the hill to have privacy from each other. Then there was a fence that surrounded the whole complex, but Jade was told that the main gate was never locked from the inside.

Jade was soon having the same old feelings of being isolated. Her fears got worse when she was told about the level system at the home. It sounded similar to what Open Hearts claimed to use. Experience with Open Hearts had taught Jade that programs like this don't always follow their own listed program. It didn't help when they told her that until she 'caught up' she would be attending school on line, or believe them when they told her that they would be getting her a tutor so she could catch up on missed work. Jade was not allowed to leave the grounds until they felt she was ready. That made her even more nervous.

Despite the similarities, Jade soon discovered the differences from Open Hearts. Helping Hands was an intensive therapeutic environment with on staff therapists, as well as a therapist from Catholic Charities that the resident saw once a week. Beyond the abundance of therapy, the staff were professionals with years of experience helping teens work through their problems. Jade shared a room with another resident, was given adequate access to bathroom and shower facilities, and they even provided her with some cosmetics. This was more than taking care of her basic needs. And to top it all off, they kept their word. Jade had a tutor from the San Francisco, A licensed teacher, come in three times per week to work with her.

Jade's presenting problems included her self destructive impulses as well as the slew of other complaints Open Hearts had made about her in their incident reports. It was the real reason she was not supposed to leave the compound unsupervised. They had no idea what she might do, to herself or others. Still, they had every intent on helping her learn coping methods so she could live as normal a life as possible. The plan was for her to stay in the program until she turned eighteen. That way, Jade would have a lot of time to heal, and to adjust to life after the initial intensive therapeutic experience. Jade was in some form of therapy each day for the first couple of months.

Helping Hands also had an incentive program to help motivate the residents. They emphasized to Jade how she could, through hard work and following the program, earn rewards. The choices of awards included extension classes from the California Arts Academy. Of course, those were harder to earn, but they were also the perfect motivator for her. Jade could earn her way back into into Acting, writing, filmmaking and such by following the program. Jade was still a pariah, feeling like no one quite trusted her, but things were getting better.

Jade soon realized that she could easily follow the program, and her only problem was in therapy where they kept wanting her to admit what she did and acknowledge it wrong. Jade refused to admit to things she hadn't done, and so found herself blocked from some activities. Jade tried over and over telling them she had nothing to do with the rape and murder of that girl, the rape of any girls, or any of the things she was blamed for at Open hearts, but that "denial" kept getting in the way of her progress. Jade was able to heal a bit from Richards treatment of her, and even got a dark sense of satisfaction when her therapeutic group heard about what he had done to her. When the staff came to the conclusion that Jade was a liar, she had her counselors read her record. Once they got past Open Hearts, they found most of what Jade had been telling them was true. Many of the youths there were victim of traumatic experiences, but Jade's was among the worst they had living there at the time. Jade had the satisfaction of proving she wasn't a liar, while noting she was back on suicide watch.

Jade quickly discovered that by taking and passing more units, she gained points towards special scholastic rewards. These rewards were never meant for students taking the on line open entry classes, but Jade used the loophole to both isolate herself and to gain extra rewards. Soon she had enough earned credits to start asking for stuff, but she had to prove she was healing to get them.

Before long Jade noticed how worried the staff looked when she did everything alone, so she found a couple of abuse survivors who reminded her of Cat. Unlike Jade, they had been taught to surrender, and they tended to glom on to the toughest person around to protect them. Soon these were Jade's 'friends'. Jade never let anyone get too close, she had been hurt once too often. Even Ginny, who in the end saved her, did it because she was getting something. Jade knew now that every relationship was a constantly negotiated transaction. Jade was not going to get hurt again. But the friendships worked. Jade had people to hang out with, so she wasn't so alone, and the staff saw her as making progress. And while the girls were never her fiends, thus she felt no real loyalty to them, she did make sure no one at the compound harassed them.

Jade was able to work her way up levels, and gained her rewards. Mostly the classes were short workshops, but Jade loved each and every minute. She was talented, and after working through the rust her time away and injuries had piled on, she was able to make it to the top of her classes. Jade was inspired to get into Calarts. Jade frequently had to take her performing arts classes and workshops at the local community collage. Jade was earning those rewards (and her high school credits) far quicker than anyone could have guessed, and the program could not afford to keep paying for her more expensive school choice. Still, Jade was making great progress. She was slowly earning herself privileges, and would soon be able to physically attend the local high school. More important, she began to believe she could make Ginny's request a reality. Filmmaking, acting, writing, all the talents she possessed came back and became her focus. She knew she was going to make Ginny proud. Plans on eventual vising the gangsta formed in Jades mind.

Then as Christmas approached and the program began to send kids who earned the right home, Richards friends struck again. This time, they did what would look to be a good thing. They pushed for Jade to become emancipated, functionally made an adult in the eyes of the system and the court.

Emancipation for the seventeen year old Jade looked good on paper, but the goth somehow knew it was coming at a bad time. She needed to finish high school and earn her way into Calarts. Also, she was somewhere where she felt safe. Jade didn't get a chance to protest. With Richards friends pushing for it, Jade got good reviews at her court date and was soon out of the program that had been so good for her.

Jade was shipped back to LA and left to fend for herself. Her augments that she needed to finish high school ran into an unforeseen complication. Jade had worked so hard to earn privileges, taking AP tests and everything else, she missed that her fun classes often carried high school and college credit. Including the class work she did at Open Hearts, Jade had taken more units from June through December than she needed to graduate. Even her subject requirements were fulfilled. The truth behind Richards actions soon showed themselves as Jade was unceremoniously graduated from high school, and her last hope for staying in the Helping Hands group home was gone. While she didn't technically graduate until the end of the first semester, she was done, so she only got temporary housing in L.A. until she found her own place.

Meanwhile, Richard had been sent to a minimum security prison, functionally club Fed. He was still in prison, and had his movements restricted, but he was living a good life and was still in the business of trading favors. All his other business ventures had led to him trading favors. And he had one from the past left to trade. He was tracking Jade. He knew that Miranda could find out where Jade was at almost any time just by asking. Despite Jade being emancipated, Miranda maintained some parental rites. His friends had seen to that. Jade had to tell her social worker where she was until she was twenty five, and so Miranda knew. And what Miranda knew, Richard knew.

Emancipation often comes with a placement in Transitional Housing Placement programs, The THP Plus program offering a living place and help adjusting to being out of the group homes. Unfortunately, competition to get into those programs is often fierce, and Jade's record still made her look like a dangerous and unstable maniac who had gotten away with multiple assaults as well as accessory to murder. Jade would never be offered such placement. Instead she had to find a place to live while spending what she had saved from four months of allowance. Jade also found a crappy job to help bring in money. Jade was focused, motivated by Ginny's sacrifice. She would not be broken. Too many girls were depending on her.

Jade had moved to Santa Clareta to attend school, and that was as close to Hollywood as she was willing to go for the present time. She was going to follow her dream, no matter what life threw in her way. So she used her forced relocation to move near Calarts and find her apartment and a job.

The room she rented, laughingly called a studio apartment, was more like a glorified closet. It came with an old bed, and electric outlets, and a window that was too small and badly placed. The property had acquired the bed cheap when the local university dorms got rid of their old beds to bring in new ones. Despite the cheapness, the frame and mattress still worked. Jade had to provide the rest of her furnishings. The bathroom was down the hall, and shared by everyone on the floor. There was a flimsy lock for when you used the shower, as well as a schedule so everyone could bathe. Jade had no running water in her room. She found an old bucket and often used it to give herself sponge baths or wash her hair, just to be safe from the local perverts. The apartment was in a bad neighborhood.

The place Jade worked was another experience in sexual harassment. Jade did what she could to keep herself from assaulting the clientele. The only job she could get on short notice and with no experience was in a diner. Too young to work in a bar, she was saved from working at some Hooters clone. Instead she worked at some almost nameless diner where the clients, mostly truck drivers on local routs, came to eat and ogle the girls. Jade worked long hours just to have the money to pay for the room she rented and for the supplies she needed. The rest of her income, including performing for donations at the diner between her shifts and her studying, was spent at the local community collage or Calarts. Jade didn't allow herself time to do anything except work and study.

Jade had wanted to attend Calats and was not going to be denied by it's unattainable price. She registered as a part time student, and took all her academic classes at the local community college. It kept her costs down, and for the short time enabled her to take one class per quarter at the school of her dreams. It was expensive, and Jade had to take out a loan just to pay for the limited amount of classes she was taking, but it was worth it. Jade decided to earn as much as possible so she wouldn't need to take out any more loans. The interest rates were practically piracy. Once again, Jade excelled in her classes, and was asked to act in a few projects at Calarts despite being a late entry freshman.

Jade didn't have much money. Almost every cent went into her goals. She played on an old electric keyboard she got from a pawn shop, even though hauling it on the bus was a bitch. She didn't travel far, busing being the most efficient way of getting around. She was saving up for a bike, or maybe a scooter. Jade hadn't made up her mind. Her paychecks slowly went into paying for the things she needed to survive in her closet. First she bought a mini-fridge off Tradelist, a local website with a lot of used stuff for sail. She got it used and cheap, and managed to haul it on the buss back home (cost her a second fare for the extra seat). Then she got lucky and found a small toaster oven that had "Warmer" plates on top, functionally getting her a hotplate at the same time. Even used, it cost her more than she wanted, but it was too useful. The other essential item she buys is her coffee maker. She got herself a new one with a permanent filter for under thirty dollars, and while still a major expense by her standards, she felt it was necessary. Once again she had coffee in her life, and brewing her own meant she could afford it. The big luxury purchase she was proud of was the Queen sized Fleece blanket she got for her bed. It was warm, felt nice when it was cold or the heat didn't work, and she found it on sale. Jade also bought a computer, but only because she needed one to do so much of her work. It was used, cheap, and barely did what she needed it to.

The local coffee shop quickly became one of Jade's favorite places, both to busk, and to use her computer. Not that Jade drank Coffee there, unless someone bought it for her. Jade spent her cash on coffee grounds and made her own at home, or if out for the day, did without. Jade had to live as cheaply as possible, and even though fast food was dangerously cheap, she knew she could do better if she worked at it. Buying in bulk mean the same thing for days in a row, and some days she didn't eat, but she kept her prices down. She even got her hands on second hand cookware almost free, and that helped her keep her costs down.

The best part of the coffee shop was The internet access was free, so Jade could get water and sit there surfing the net. Sometimes, some guy would buy her a coffee or such as an opening line. Jade was always polite, but never let them get close. She did take the coffee. Other times, when she was performing, the manager might give her something, and they always gave her a good deal on their day old stuff as well as unsold coffee grounds that might have 'aged out'. That coffee was still drinkable, but was no longer considered fresh, and thus was often hard for them to sell. Once a week, Jade was able to save big and stock up her coffee reserves.

Jade also had access to the interned at the local bookstores as well as the public library. Despite how much she needed it, or used it for her projects, the access made her life harder too, only because she was able to check up on what her ex-friends were up to at Hollywood Arts. She had intended to only use the internet for schoolwork. The modern scholastic experience required access to a computer and the internet. Jade worked hard for her grades, and often needed a distraction, Jade didn't like how she used her former friends fun lives for comfort when she was hurting. She often felt like a stalker. Worse, she often felt she was drowning in the loss she felt when she read what they were up to. She missed them all.

Tori was doing great. Her luck was running true to form, and during the summer she had signed her first recording contract. Jade often heard Tori's voice on the radio in the coffee shop. While her first album was not yet ready for release, she was on her second single while the first one was still in heavy rotation. Tori was starting to make more appearances to support her music, and the album was slowly coming together. She kept her down to earth personality, and still made those lame request videos for the Slap. She was also dating Beck.

Andre was doing great as well. While he had yet to secure a recording contract, he was Tori's song writing partner, and got a lot of credit for his contributions to her work. He was also doing great in school, and was frequently posting about his latest girlfriend. Jade wondered if he would ever find someone to love, but decided he was happy just playing the field.

Then there was Cat. Her babysitting business was doing Okay. Cat was too trusting, and while Sam was looking out for her, it was obvious that the former ICarly star was more interested in herself than Cat or their friendship. Jade speculated that Cat would do so much better without the blond, but the redhead needed someone to look after her, and Sam seemed to be the only one willing to do it who didn't have a restraining order keeping them away. It frustrated Jade the way that the rest of her friends just let Cat drift away. She could understand them hating her, but never Cat. No one could hate Cat. Sometimes, Jade would use her Slap account to send Cat supportive messages. Since the account was a non-student autonomous one, Jade felt safe in doing so.

Robbie was doing unexpectedly well. He was dating an underclassmen who was thrilled to be with a senior, let alone one of the most influential members of the Slap management team. Rex was still around, and Jade wondered if Robbie would wind up working for the demented puppet. Robbie had never asked for a restraining order, but Jade suspected it was because, of the group, his parents were the only ones as bad as hers. Jade felt for him, but he was out of her reach. The only thing she could do was make it so she could reach back and offer him a hand up when the moment came. She would also occasionally give him anonymous advice on dating and communicating with his girlfriend.

Beck was dating again, having finally managed to convince Tori to go out with him. No surprise. Beck had always wanted her, so Jade felt a sense of peace warring with her intense sense of betrayal. Beck had moved on, and Jade was free to do so as well. Moreover, Tori had moved on as well. Of course, freedom doesn't mean actually moving on. Also, Beck was still popular with the ladies. Jade could see from various posts across the slap that Tori was far more patient with Beck's constant female attention. Still, that kind of attitude would wear down anyone given enough time. Jade saw, through the posts, that it was starting to get to the Latina. Jade was worried that Tori's luck with dating might turn Beck into a jerk. Then she decided that it was just her revenge fantasies making themselves felt. Beck was a great guy. He just needed to learn how to make his girlfriends feel secure in his love.

Then there was Max. Maxwell West was almost impossible to track. She checked out his Splashface page, so she could see how he was growing, but had to do so anonymously. Many parts of his life were not open, and Jade was happy about that. Too many people leave their lives as open books on the internet. Max needed his secrets, as well as the stuff only his friends should know.

Jade was often grateful for her lack of a car. She was just a short drive from Hollywood, and that was where both her parents lived. Jade still wanted her fathers love, and she desperately missed Max. However, she knew she could never go home, not that it had ever been her home. They didn't want her. Jade worried that if she had a car, she would drive over to see Max, but by now he wouldn't want to see her.

Max had spent the last five years living with their father and his new wife, often reminded about how bad an influence Jade was. Jade could imagine her father telling him over and over how she was responsible for causing so much pain, hurting everyone who ever tried to help her. She had heard that her father, somehow, even managed to give her some of the blame for what Richard had done to her. Max couldn't know all the facts, and it would hurt him to know that his sister had been systemically beaten and raped for over four years. Max was, as far as both Henry and Miranda West were concerned, better off thinking his sister was a demon seed who only brought misery to everyone around her. Thus poor Richard was arrested for desperately trying to contain her, and now he was in prison while Jade was free to hurt other people. Jade was living a good life as good people tried to help her, and all she did was cause trouble. They had the incident reports to prove it.

Jade often felt close to tears by this point, but her mind easily continued it's presentation of how Max must feel about her. Max wouldn't always believe them, but since Jade hadn't made a single attempt to contact him in years, he had to listen to the voices around him. Jade, by that point, knew that her brother must hate her, just like everyone else. Ginny's deal felt so hard to keep, but she would remember that she could help so many, and she kept trying.

:}

I know, kinda filler, but I hope to be getting somewhere. Jade is worried about Max.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit.

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Almost a year and a half had gone by since Jade returned to LA, and she had hidden among the millions of people in the area. Not one of her old friends had seen her, so no one knew she was back. She was outside her old stomping grounds, so no one who could have recognized her from her life before being in the system ever saw her. The anonymity suited her. They'd all know who she was soon enough, when her first big project made her famous.

Once the gang graduated, it was harder for her keep track of them. Robbie, along with the school, had arranged for alumni to keep their old accounts, but they were moved to non-student status, and it became more like twitter than Splashface. They could post updates, even shot videos, but full access was for students. Jade would find other ways to keep up with what her old friends were doing. It was as much of a social life as she would allow herself, just as stalking Max's Splashface page was as much family as she could have.

Jade just focused on her goals, dreams now carried for both herself and the nearly one million kids in the California system who need the dream to be real for at least one of them. She was damaged, but she would succeed. She had to. Jade didn't know about other celebrities who'd been in foster care, just that she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Jade, now only a month and a half from being nineteen, was still working hard for everything in her life. It was something she'd gotten used to. She had some support. After she'd been on her own for almost four months, Catholic charities finally tracked her down. They had a fund that would allow her to continue seeing a therapist until she was twenty five if she needed it. Jade agreed, but only because she needed all the help she could get with the struggles that had been happening in her life. Jade disliked the two hours per week it took for her to get to their office, see her therapist, Doctor Bowers, and get back to doing anything productive, but the support was worth it in the hardest times.

Jade needed the support. There were long term effects from the ordeals she had been through. The problem with being a survivor was that Jade was always on edge, afraid of when the next bad thing would happen. If not for Doctor Bowers entering her life, she might have reneged on her deal with Ginny, either in part or in full. The nightmares, the depression, the jumping at noises, Jade had to tough her way through them all. She was offered medication, but refused. Too much possibility that someone else would steal them, and she wasn't going to be dependent on anything. Still, the therapy helped, she was learning techniques to deal with the stresses and her heightened reactions, and life was slowly getting better. When something cause her to trigger, to start spiraling out of control, she had her therapist to call to help her get back on track. Nothing would derail her dreams.

Jade still continued to stalk her friends online. Since graduating, all her friends posted about their lives, and they seemed to be doing far better than she was. Tori was at the top of the list. Her album dropped, and was one of the best selling albums of the year. Tori's talent, mixed with her and Andre's writing skills, had produced a nice mix of catchy pop songs that had people listening. At that point, Tori was on tour, opening for some huge acts as she played major arena's across the U.S., and eventually the world. She also planned to headline a few smaller venues. Tori was on her way. Jade was happy for her, and wished her the best, including someone to love her the way she deserved to be loved.

Andre was in school at UCLA, getting his degree. He was also writing music for Tori and a few other pop stars who wanted his sound on their records. Not many yet, but his name was getting out. He was still playing the field, and seemed to date models or burgeoning pop stars as he worked at getting himself set in his career. He was making a lot of contacts along the way. Once he was ready, Andre Harris would be a big name in the music industry, possible the entire entertainment industry. Jade was sad that she couldn't contact him, she so wanted to bust his balls about his dating habits.

Robbie and Cat had all but disappeared. Jade knew they were out there, but their exploits were hard to follow. Jade kept tabs on them as she could and was happy they were alive and healthy. Sometimes, one or the other would complain about how rough it was as an adult, and Jade would stifle a laugh. She felt for her friends. Robbie had had it rough growing up, but he never had to work as hard as she had the last two years. Cat was too innocent, she would eventually be in for a rude awakening about how the world worked. Jade prayed to the gods, not sure or caring if they existed or not, that Cat would find herself a happy marriage and have her own dysfunctional family. It was possibly the best she could do, and that thought made Jade sad. Maybe if Jade made it, she could help the muti-talented girl find a place where she would be happy.

Then there was Beck. He moved to New York to attend Julliard. Jade was able to follow his exploits on their website, as well as the New York gossip pages. He and Tori had ended amicably, mostly because Tori wasn't offended by Becks entourage of hopeful fangirls. Jade had no idea that in the end, Tori just could not love Beck the way he wanted her to. They would never be more than good friends. Tori was further burdened by Becks need for a screen to keep the crazy girls at bay. Beck expected Tori to constantly fight for him, something Tori would never do even if she loved him. That dynamic, different from the one he had with Jade, helped end the relationship. Still, Tori was very forgiving, so they remained friends.

Jade had her own admirers, most drawn by her beauty, but then put off by her dark personality. That suited her needs. Jade would not, could not trust anyone except her therapist. It was an issue she was working on, but not her priority. There would be time for that once she had some level of success. Until then, boys and girls were just distractions. Even friends were rare. She had a few who slipped past her formidable defenses, often just by being in proximity with her for over extended amounts of time. They were people she was around who both showed respect for her boundaries and made some minimal contact each time they saw her. Over months she slowly became friends with them, and still these people were kept at a distance. They had gotten as far in as she would allow. She would help them if they needed it, but socializing was restricted to special occasions. Mostly, she talked with them while they were doing whatever assignment together. Jade didn't have any friends at the diner.

Then there was Ty. The tall boy (5'10") was a dancer who wanted to be a rapper. He was attending Calarts while looking to find his next break in entertainment. He was in the acting and dancing programs, since dancing alone might not make him a living while he waits to be discovered. The biggest thing about Ty was his persistence. Someone had told him that Jade was cold and unloving, but that didn't stop him from trying to win her heart. He quickly realized that Jade wouldn't let any suitors close, so he switched tactics and decided to become her friend. By the end of her first full school year, he had managed to work his way up to semi-trusted. Jade would hang with him, either in groups or in public places, but she never let him get too close. He had no idea yet that he was getting as much of her time as any living being not employing her could get. Ty just enjoyed the chase while wondering at the broken girls talent.

Three things were happening that would change her life, and she had no idea about any of them. First, Richard had decided it was time to move on from his obsession with punishing Jade for what she had done to him. She's been allowed freedom long enough. She was succeeding, and that would not, must not be allowed. If Jade wasn't suffering, then it was time for him to be rid of her entirely. Richard sold her. One of his contacts was in the white slave trade, and Jade was a valuable commodity. Richard then reached out to another of his contacts and made arrangements for Jade to be picked up and transported to the slavers place. Jade would disappear, and Richard knew she would never say no to another man again. The best part, he had a perfect alibi. Then his friends could do something about getting him out of prison. He was tired of only being allowed conjugal visits from his wife. Miranda was aging and he liked the blackmailed college girls he used to have.

Somewhere about that time, Tori was at a signing event for Hollywood Arts. She would sign her album, or a shirt, or whatever, and the five dollar charge for her autograph would go into the Hollywood Arts Scholarship fund. It was a good thing, helping her old school as well as getting some good publicity. Tori was enjoying herself, taking a minute to talk to each person as they came up to her. It looked to be a long day as well, with over six hundred people getting the autograph. Many got just a few words to keep the line moving. Some, however, got more time.

Maxwell West was one of those people. He was there because his girlfriend insisted, and he didn't want her to complain about missing a chance to meet one of her favorite pop stars. Trisha was beautiful, a cheerleader as well as a dancer. Max found the whole thing ironic, She hated Hollywood Arts for rejecting her, but was going to spend money at their fundraiser just to meet one of their alumni. Still, he had good reasons to go. While he had the West looks going for him, Trisha could do better at Northwood, their high school. He needed to keep her happy so he could have the hottest girlfriend in school. He was also looking to see if he might trade up while here. Many of the best students at Hollywood Arts would be volunteering to help today go great, and he assumed they would be lookers. Also Tori was not the only "Name" to show up, just the most newsworthy, and he might meet someone interesting he could brag about to his friends. Even that wasn't his biggest reason.

Max didn't believe everything his parents told him about Jade. It was hard not to, they agreed on so much about her. But Max wanted a second opinion about the girl who, in his dimmest memories, held him while his parents fought. Something told him she couldn't be as bad as they made her out to be. So years ago, Max looked her up. He started following her on the slap, and soon saw what a bitter and dark girl Jade West was. He also saw her talent in the videos, her compassion from her list of friends, and in general started to see who she was. He soon realized that Jade was special. Beck dated her, and she had friends who looked out for her. Friends like Tori Vega, who she once drove to San Diago in a topless car, in the rain. Tori Vega, who was waiting to sign his girlfriends copy of her CD and his Twenty dollar picture of her he was going to give Trisha.

Their turn came, and Tori was sweet and nice and in every way just like the person he'd read about when he was stalking his sister on the Slap. Tori was exactly who she claimed to be, despite the sudden fame and fortune. Tori had been doing this for hours and still she managed to be happy to meet each person as they came along.

"And who do I sign this one to?" Tori asked, smiling. She did it a variety of ways, sometimes she'd talk first, others she would ask and talk as she signed. She wished she had more time with some of these people, but the line was so long and she was only going to be there today.

"Sign it to Trisha. She's my girlfriend." Max said

"That's so sweet. She's lucky to have someone like you." Tori said.

"Like Jade was lucky to have Beck?" Max asked. Tori froze, and he almost held his breath.

She hadn't heard that name in over a year. She thought about Jade a lot, but no one spoke her name. It was as if the name had become a curse, forbidden to the lips of her old friends from Hollywood Arts. Tori quickly shifted to other concerns. Fans did research too, and sometimes used the facts they found to pretend they knew the performers.

"I don't talk about my friends with strangers and I don't believe we've met." Tori said coolly, her eyes shifting to Luther, her bodyguard. The Big guy was always ready, yet he'd sensed the time to intervene was not yet there. Not yet. Still, his muscles tensed for the inevitable moment he might need to leap into the way of something.

"We haven't. It's just, it's been four years since I've seen my sister, and I was wondering what was she really like?" Max said.

Luther was stunned. He had thought he'd seen every way people could try to get close to a star, but this was a new approach. It was 'I'm related to one of your friends.', and it was one that wouldn't work. Not with anyone cautious. Not with Tori.

"Look, I don't have time for this today. Luther will take your information, and if you check out and I have time, maybe I'll get back to you, okay?" The Popstar found herself saying. Tori wasn't sure about this, but deep inside she still had feelings for Jade, and this boy might give her some clue where Jade West had disappeared to. Suddenly, Tori wanted to know.

Max gave the large and intimidating man his contact information, as well as some proof of who he was. Luther then went back to keep an eye on his charge. The big guy knew something was up. Normally Tori would have him get rid of weirdo's like this, or laugh and move on. Somehow, Luther suspected that Tori wanted to know about Jade, so once they were done he made a few calls to try and track the missing girl down. It would take time and money, but Tori Vega had both, and people to do the basic legwork.

Withing twenty hours, Mason Thornsmith would find out and also be interested in locating the dark girl, and that would add substantially to the pressure to find her. Luther was worried, if his experience was any indicator, this was not going to end well. Moreover, powerful people were starting to take interest, looking for someone whom he had, as of a few days ago, never heard of. Luther knew that Mason meant that results needed to appear. He couldn't refer this to someone who'd look, but not find anything. Not now that Mason was involved.

About the same time, Jade was still working, performing, studying, and doing anything she could to save the money she would need to attend Calarts full time. She once again carried scissors with her, but now it was more for the sense of protection they brought then the joy of cutting things.

Jade had discovered she could kinda maintain her style from used clothing. She had to be careful, going to thrift stores and having her friends looking out for her. Vintage clothing stores were much too expensive, but sometimes she'd catch a sale and get something nice to wear. Off brand jeans became her friend, often affordable and comfortable. Ty was often willing to drive her to a sale or just about anywhere. Jade rarely took him up on his offer, not wanting him to think she owed him anything. It was a complicated relationship, about to get more complicated.

Meanwhile, David Vega had found something that concerned him. He was reviewing the Permanent Restraining Order's Tori had keeping some of her crazier fans at bay, or more accurately, giving her bodyguards the ammunition to get those crazy people arrested. As he was going through the pile of papers, he came across the first PRO Tori had. Jade West. It had been so easy at the time. Jade was a suspect in a murder, and it looked like she was a danger to all her friends. All David and Holly had to do was sign the paperwork and let the lawyers for Beck and Andre do the work. He'd never questioned it at the time.

Now, however, David was curious. It had been almost two years since she was arrested, and he hadn't heard any rumors about the investigation, not from his friends on the force or any other cops. It couldn't take that long to check her story and press charges. He had his hands full with his own investigations, but he decided to take a look. After all, there had to be extenuating circumstances. David decided to have someone check up on the investigation and Gary volunteered to do the work, so there would be no conflict of interests with Tori and Trina having retaining orders on Jade.

It took less than a day, after looking at the minimal evidence, for Gary to find alibi's for Jade that covered the times when most of the accusations happened. Then it was just a he said she said that Jade knew about Richards activities, and he could eliminate most of those thanks to battered spouse laws. It was the first hint something was up. There should never have been an arrest. It felt like a move made by the defense, but without the paper trail leading back to mister Mathews. Gary could smell the corruption. He decided to see just how deep things went. It would take time, but Gary could smell a scandal, and with his new position it would make him look so much better if he found some conspiracy. He had to be careful, people who did things like this sometimes had powerful friends, Powerful friends who didn't like cops looking too closely at what they were doing. Still, he was pissed that someone in the department had made a big issue about his affair with Holly, and his instincts told him this Jade thing was connected. Suddenly, it felt like someone, a friend of mister Mathews, had pushed back, and that made it personal. 'Follow the numbers. This has to be solid. Only then can we get these bastards.' Gary thought as he started digging deeper.

All these events, unknown to Jade, were coming together to change her life. While Tori's part would take a while, the others came together around the end of her school year, a month and a half before her nineteenth birthday.

Ty was still trying to be Jade's friend, so offered her a ride home. He had ulterior motives, but this time it was the desire for Jade to sing for him. He had a music project, a song he had written with a friend, and he wanted Jade to sing it with him. Jade was giving him the usual runaround. She didn't trust him. But she was letting him drive her home, so it was an improvement.

Once he dropped her off, he decided to get a bite to eat and stick around. He was going to call her in a few minutes and see if she would reconsider. He hadn't been at his best while driving, focused as he was on keeping his cool 2009 Pontiac G6 GT convertible safe. Now he wanted to find a way to see her place. It was a huge deal, signifying she trusted him enough to let him get to her front door. He'd been to the building before, so that was his next step towards her heart. Ty was very patient when it came to winning love, or singing partners.

Jade, meanwhile, walked into her building while ignoring her neighbors. The less they saw of each other, the better. She did kind of like some of the people who lived there, but she knew she had to keep them distant. The whole apartment complex was full of drama. The small rooms and shared bathrooms were to keep the rent down, and people who needed cheap housing weren't always the kind of people you should trust. She usually walked quickly up the stares to her room, got in, and locked the door. Today was to be no different, except when she got to her room she noticed the door was ajar. Quickly she turned around to leave, only to be grabbed by the man who followed her up the stares, just out of sight. As they struggled, screaming for help, the other residents did what was usually done, kept their doors locked and waited for it to be over. Some of them called the police, but for a building like this the response time would take far too long.

Jade found herself driven into the room, where the second man was waiting. He bound her with duct tape, gagged her, and wrapped her blanket around her to disguise what they were carrying out. While he was doing that, his friend held chloroform over Jade's mouth to knock her out. It took several second, but Jade went limp. They knew they had minutes at best, so they quickly carried her out to their waiting van. They would have gotten away clean, except Ty was looking at the Van parked in the ally next to Jade's building. He was wondering what the van was doing there. He saw the two men come out carrying what was obviously a body wrapped in a fleece blanket, her hair flowing out over the top. He recognized the blue extensions, something new jade had recently added to her look. Quickly Ty ran to his car and dialed 911 as he followed the Van. It wasn't easy to do, but he kept them in his sight as they slowly made their way towards the freeway.

David Vega was driving towards Northridge to meet with one of Trina's Ex-boyfriends. The guy was attending Northrige community college and wanted to interview Officer Vega for a story on the Los Angeles Police Department. David didn't want to talk with this kid, but it gave him an excuse to be out of the office. He smiled, the kid dumped Trina, yet she was clearly out of his league. His eldest daughter was in San Francisco, studying partying with a minor in Law. She hoped to be a performer, but would get a degree as a paralegal to help make ends meet.

David hated using his time like this, but it was part of his new position with the police department, one that didn't involve any police work at all. After the whole affair scandal, they had transferred David to the public relations division as part of their efforts to break up his partnership with Gary. The problem was the affair was over and he and Gary had been working on rebuilding trust, so the move was counter productive. Worse, it pulled two good officers from the street. David now spent most of his time talking to Hollywood about how the police would be portrayed in movies and TV.

David Vega was trying not to think of how boring this game of cat and mouse with the reporter, who probably thought he had something, was going to be. It was a good way to keep him from thinking about the real crimes he wasn't investigating. That was when Gary gave him a call. Gary was working in the county response unit, tracking crimes that would inevitably cross the various town and city lines that were outside the greater LA police jurisdiction.

Gary had received a call from a friend who worked as an operator for the state police 911 response unit. He said that some kid who didn't turn on his cell phone locator was calling about a kidnapping that happened in Valencia. The kid who called it in was following the van the perpetrators were in. They were on the 5 freeway and heading his direction. Gary said that the police were trying to rout a Traffic enforcement plane to follow the vehicle, and wanted a driver he trusted to get closer. He knew where David was supposed to be today, and hoped to reroute him for this important task. It would save him from the hassle of asking for an unmarked car on short notice. probably driven by some stranger he didn't know so couldn't trust.

David agreed, even though he was technically out of his division, he was a police officer and this was his chance to do some good. Also, he was board out of his mind with this duty. Soon he found the car he was looking for, complete with a kid on his cell phone. From there, it was easy to start following the van. Gary waited until David confirmed a visual on the Van, license plates and all, then had the state police tell the driver of the other car to back off.

Ty agreed to back off only if he knew that the Van was being watched. The state police refused to give him any information. Finally, Gary had himself routed into the call and told Ty to call David. Ty did as he was asked, and was able to find the other car. Doing as he was told, Ty quickly passed the van, shifting to be far enough ahead of it to be out of sight. Ty was ready to help if necessary, and remained in contact with Officer Vega.

David and Gary told police to stay at a distance. They wanted to see where the van was going. They hoped it was staying in LA, so they could mount a raid. Kidnappings were tricky stuff. Still, if they played it right they could grab the perpetrators and keep the victim safe. While David was questioning Ty, it got trickier.

Jade woke up in the back of a dark vehicle. They had used bungee cords to tie her down, making her very uncomfortable but keeping her from moving around. The vehicle was some kind of delivery van, so besides the seats in the front, it was just the bed. Jade was being bumped around, but kept against a wall. Her fleece blanket didn't give her much padding, and was making things uncomfortable hot. Jade suspected that sweating was the least of her problems. She was scared. She knew she had been targeted, and believed the whole time she spent struggling to make something of her life was now wasted. She'd allowed herself to get complacent, maybe happy. She knew when she life got good, it was the signal that it was going to get worst. Now she was bound and helpless, waiting to be broken and sold to some pervert as a sex toy. She'd come full circle, back to the days of Richard. With no other options, Jade started to cry.

The two thugs didn't care much about their cargo, but they did check on her periodically.

"The bitch is crying. Can you believe that shit?" the first said.

"So? It's not like she'll get a chance to regret being taken later, so she might as well get it out now. You know she'll be punished for it later." the second one, who was driving, said.

"Really? I thought they just gave up after they lost all hope." the first said.

"Depends on who's training them, I guess. It really doesn't mater, it's not like she's a person anymore." the driver said. "Pity, she's hot. I wish we had more time during the grab, I'd have liked to try her out."

"You think they'd mind if we gave her a ride?" the other asked.

"On a schedule. They want her ASAP. I guess we could ask if we could each have a turn. I mean, what's it to them." The driver said. "And if they say no, I know a place were the girls are cheap and not too bad looking."

"Okay, whats bugging you?" the second asked.

"Well, for a while there I thought we were being followed, but the guy is gone now. I suppose he was just on his way to Hollywood. Things like that stay on my mind. You know we're fucked if the police catch us with the girl." The driver said. He remembered the convertible passing them, and looked ahead to see if he could see the guy. Maybe they were being followed from the front. The other car was out of sight, so they relaxed and focused on looking out for the police. Luck seemed to be with them, not a single police vehicle in sight.

David followed them from the 5 to the 405 south heading towards Santa Monica. He called in for someone to give him a break, and the plane told him to just drive past and fall back when they told him to. It prevented the drivers from seeing that they were being followed. Ty had put the hood up when he could, and otherwise tried to disguise his car. He didn't want the driver to see it was the same car as before, in the event the driver had made him before. Ty caught up, having originally passed the freeway transfer, and kept an eye on the van until David was ready to resume his vigil. From there they drove until the van got off at Sunset. David and Ty took turns close by as the vehicle drove into Brentwood, and towards one of the gated communities. The van used the code to get past the gate, and was lost. There were dozens of houses in that community, possible more. Without an address, they would be lucky to find where they'd taken their victim. Behind him, he herd Ty swear. He was more invested in saving this girl than it appeared the police had been. They could have pulled the car over at any time, a routine stop over any conceivable excuse. Yes, it could have turned into a hostage situation, but the planned raid didn't guarantee avoiding the exact same problem. With hope quickly fading, David Vega was ready to curse the sky.

:}

Don't hate the writer, hate the cliffhanger.

Richard still has reach.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. This chapter gets a little intence.

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Jade felt the vehicle slow down again. They were nearing their destination. She'd been listening to the driver and his friend, and while she was now sure of her fate, she didn't know the details. Needing to know more, to anticipate just what they were going to do to her, was driving her to distraction. The fear ate at her self control, and she felt herself becoming desperate. If she could, she'd will herself to die. Already she'd imagined what they would do to her. Raped repeatedly until she broke, trained to be some mans sex toy, spending the rest of her life that way if she was lucky. The other option was dragged across the country, from event event as a prostitute, servicing up to ten men per day. Neither option looked good to Jade, but the second might include drugs to keep her quiet. Something to erase her, and take away the pain of her new life.

Jade saw the light disappear as the vehicle pulled into a garage, and then the men came back and finally bothered to blindfold her. They carried her out of the van and into the building. From there, it was down some stairs. Then they chloroformed her again, and when she recovered, she was chained, lying on concrete next to a metal pole stuck in the floor. The tape was gone, and her flesh hurt from where it had been ripped off. In addition to the two men who abducted her, two other men were watching her.

One explaining something to the to the kidnappers "She needs to be broken now, so you'll just have to wait until she ready for sale. Of course, we'd take the fees for that entertainment out of your pay." The kidnappers seemed to understand, and headed out of the room as the other man, the one who hadn't talked, walked towards her.

When the man got to her he stood her up, and chained her to the pole, facing it. Their was a restraint that went around her waist that would be very uncomfortable if she tried to slide down, and her hands were chained to a cross bar, forcing her arms straight out from her body, making her body form a cross. The man was talking to her as he worked, securing the restraints.

"Jadelyn, don't talk or I will be forced to hurt you. We don't want that, right?" Jade nodded, not sure yet if yelling would do her any good. "You can call me sir. You will call me Sir. Now my job is to teach you. You're going to learn how to be a good girl. I know you can learn. I've taught many naughty girls how to be good. It's important for you to learn to do as you're told. If you do, there will be less pain." He continued fastening her to the pole. "I don't want you to suffer any more than necessary, but the pain cleanses us. From the pain, all the bad habits you've learned will be cleansed, and you will emerge a good girl who understands that she was never meant to be free." He had finished applying the restraints, and walked around to look her in the eye.

"You've never been happy, because you keep thinking that you were meant to be free, to have dreams that could never come true. Now I will use the pain to free you. It will take time, maybe weeks, but the pain will free you. I''ll be giving you a purpose, the one you've been missing your entire life. You will learn that you are property, and that making your master happy is your purpose. Your learning your purpose will help you avoid the pain. In that purpose, serving your master, you will find tranquility. When you accept that purpose, and live to make it happen, that will make you content. I know you don't believe me, but once we've finished you will." He paused for a second to let her absorb what he'd said, and Jade knew enough to stay quiet, at least for now. "From now on, your purpose is the pleasure of your master. I will teach you the rules that will make your master happy. If you break these rules, your master will be unhappy, and you will feel pain. Right now, I need you to understand. I'm doing this for you, Jadelyn. Do you understand?" he looked at her with cold eyes. He made it clear in one look that Jade was property, and he could care less how much he hurt her. The rest was just pretty words.

Jade was terrified. She knew what was going to happen, and she wished she was dead. The man had made it clear, no matter what she did, she couldn't avoid what was about to happen, so she decided to resist, or at least be defiant. She spit at the man. The other guy laughed. The speaker, Sir, walked back to the end of the room, behind her, and picked things up from a table she'd seen earlier.

The next thing she felt was something being draped over her back. Then she felt the pain. He had whipper her across her back for five cuts. She would later learn that he had put a special cloth on her to absorb the cutting of the whip, to inflict maximum pain while leaving minimal scars. Scars would reduce her value. The pain was still intense, hurting more than any single thing she could remember. Jade took the first flogging, and felt her legs start to give. She wasn't sure if she could still stand, but tried anyways. The restraint around her waist made it uncomfortable to breath if she didn't stand. She still could breath, but it hurt, with the restraints digging into her ribs.

Pain clouded her thoughts, but she was still very aware of her situation. Defiance would be punished. Then the man called Sir, who Jade guessed was the breaker, walked back to the table behind her to get his next tool. She could hear the fain sound of objects moving, sliding across the wood surface. "I normally wait for a day or two, but I think you need to be reminded who's in charge. In time, you will let me put anything I want in you." he then pulled her pants down, followed by ripping off her panties. It hurt to have the material ripped from her legs, but she knew that was the warmup.

Jade was violently penetrated by what was probably a huge dildo, and that monstrosity HURT. There was no moisture to reduce the friction or the pain, and Jade was sure she was bleeding now. She moaned in pain, and Sir barked at her. "You don't complain when I give you my attention! It is a privilege to be my dog, so you will enjoy it, and you will thank me." He knew she wouldn't do it today, but he would break her soon enough. Sir walked back to the table to retrieve the whip. "Now you've made me punish you again. Stand up, Jadelyn. This will be worse if you make me scar you." Sir moved to beat her again, Flogging her with another five strokes. It went on from there, with Jade trying to be defiant as the man called Sir hurt her again and again. She even got him to strike her across the face, drawing a trickle of blood from just over her eye. It stung, and blinded her from that side. Throughout it all, he continued to flog her, five cuts at a time, when she gave him attitude. Jade was almost out after the thirtieth cut.

Jade didn't feel much of anything after that, and the men left her to recover before the next session. Only now, the huge dildo was back inside her, held in by a strap attached to the restraint, and any movement caused it to hurt her again. At the same time, she was hurting across her back, and the restraints, in addition to making it hard to breath, were putting pressure on her fresh wounds. Jade would hurt less, she though, if she could stand up. Slowly she forced herself to stand, and the pain in her back reduced a little, but there was a brief increase in the pain in her core, and the Dildo was still stretching her out. The huge thing also made it uncomfortable to close her legs, so she kept them apart enough to be comfortable, even though it put some pressure on her restraints. She suspected the dildo was to numb her to being penetrated.

'So this is my life now. No hope, no future, letting everyone down. Sorry Ginny, I guess I can't keep my promise.' Jade thought as she slowly started to cry. She hoped the bastard of a breaker didn't hear her, he'd punish her for crying. She couldn't see in the pitch black room if there was anyone listening, or maybe a baby monitor. All she knew was her hopes were dying fast. 'I'm so sorry you're in jail now, Ginny, even though you do deserve to be there. I guess I'm sorry you put your faith in me. This has to be an act of God. He was right, I was never meant to be happy. All I can do now is to somehow die before the bastard breaks me.' Tears swelled as she made that realization, and became aware of how unlikely she was to be able to do even that. 'Maybe I can starve myself?' she thought, but didn't have much hope. With the loss of hope, so went her strength, but not her attitude. Richard had trained her to be defiant. Blackness, both from her lack of hope, and her slipping consciousness, took her again.

Jade woke up to find someone carrying her. She hurt too much to worry about why, but where was becoming of greater interest to her with every step taken. In the back of her mind she knew they wouldn't release her until they broke her spirit and her will. Briefly she wondered if it was a dream, and the kidnapers had just arrived at their destination. Her back hurt enough to tell her the torture was real. Then, For a brief moment, she thought she'd broke, and they were done. Somehow she knew that if she had broken, she'd know it. Besides, she'd probably walk out herself once they were done with her, and willingly put herself in the trunk of a waiting car. Next she thought maybe they had to move for some reason. Jade spent several seconds thinking about that option, until her brain worked enough to tell her she was not bound, although there was a cloth over her eyes. Her next instinct was to flee, and as her mind screamed for her to get away or die trying, she struggled to break free of whomever was holding her.

"Jade! Calm down! It's me, officer Vega! You know, Tori's Dad! You're safe now. I got you! You're safe now!" He shouted as he almost dropped her. His voice sounded worried. The girl had been so out of it, and it seemed she'd woken up fighting.

Jade was put down,, almost dropped, and she immediately ripped the cloth off her head to get a look around. Her brain registered the cloth was more a bandage than a blindfold, reddened with her blood. Then she looked around again, not clear about anything. The time in the darkness had taken her sight, now the light blinded her. Slowly her eyes adjusted. She saw the room around her come into focus. It was a large, open room, looking like a well furnished living room. She could see the front door just a short distance ahead, the destination officer Vega must have been moving towards. Police officers were everywhere, forensics teams dissecting the house for any clues that could help decipher what was going on in this nice, upper class home.

As soon as she was free, Jade had crawled backwards until her back hit a wall, and the pain reminded her she was hurt. Fear pulled at her, and she remembered that the only escape from the pain was death. Before she could do anything, Officer Vega, who saw how unstable she was becoming, started moving towards her. His hands were up in a non-threatening fashion, and he was speaking to her in a soothing tone. She had no idea what he was saying, and tried to focus enough to hear him past the sound of her heart beating in her ears. While she was distracted, three officers jumped her. They forced her to the ground face first, then handcuffed her with her arms behind her back. Then they carried the girl, kicking and screaming, outside to a waiting ambulance. Jade was strapped to a gurney, but they couldn't do it with her hands behind her back, so someone gave her a shot. Fear radiated off the girl as she saw the needle coming closer, but she couldn't wiggle free in time, and the world slowly faded back to black.

Earlier, all kinds of things had been happening. Not that Ty would have noticed. As he paced outside the gate of the community, Ty's mind was racing as he was going insane. Jade was in there, he was sure of it. He'd tried calling her during the pursuit, hoping that he was wrong about who was being kidnapped, and got no answer. And now they'd lost the Van. If the vehicle wasn't stolen, it could still be reported stolen, so the license plate didn't give them any leads to follow. There were no guarantee's that the license plate was the qriginal. Whatever the case, the trail was getting cold. The community probably had at least a dozen houses, most likely closer to fifty, and at this time of day there was a good chance people weren't at home. They could go door to door, but without probable cause they wouldn't be able to search any of the houses. Worse, the locals probably didn't see anything. A delivery van was normal enough to be almost invisible. The people responsible for taking Jade were gone, and now so was Jade.

The frustration was building inside him. Ty wished he's attacked, done anything to save her. He did what he could, what the police always recommend in situations like this, and as a result he'd failed her. Jade was gone. She was gone, and he couldn't do anything about it. With no other options, he started to cry. It wasn't manly, but all he could think of was how much of this was his fault. She'd been counting on him, and he'd failed her. He tried to contain himself, but despair was overtaking him, and he kept imagining what they were doing to her while the police lost the trail. Those thoughts just made his feelings of failure worse. Jade had no family, no one who would care if she disappeared off the face of the earth. That meant whomever this was wanted her for her body. Jade was gone, sold to who knows whom. The movie Taken flashed in his mind, until he realized he'd never seen it. Now he knew he didn't know what she was facing, but whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

David was concerned when the van disappeared into the gated community. It would take time to get the code, or to drive around to the main gate. Either way, the van could pull into a garage and they would never find it. Worse, if the van is just left there, the police have no idea who was driving it, or otherwise was part of this operation. The people responsible could leave in another vehicle and get away clean. The whole operation was in jeopardy.

The other problem was that this whole operation, all the effort to rescue this girl, was based on the word of this one guy. Him, and the dozen or so 911 calls from that apartment building back in Santa Clareta reporting this abduction to the local police. David thought about it for a second, as realized that the police were starting to look bad on this one. Thats where his mind was when he got a call from the air unit that Gary had requested. The traffic plane had followed the van to a house, complete with pictures of it pulling into the garage. They also got the address, and confirmed it with the city planning commission. With that information, it was time to act. David was informed the aerial unit had called for backup, and Gary was busy calling in for a warrant. The FBI was also notified, and was sending an adviser.

David tried to calm down Ty, the young man who'd helped, and get anything he could out of the boy. Ty was frantic, and David had to keep the boy in the dark and out of the operation. After a few minutes of talking, Ty was able to give a description of several of the player. He only caught a brief glance of the Perpetrators, but used the zoom on his camera phone to take a picture of the side view mirror and caught the reflection of the one who was driving. It was a start.

Officer Vega's biggest shock came next, when Ty told him the name of the victim they were trying to save. Jade West. It was Jade West. His blood froze as his world seemed to spin out. He'd rescued her before, from being raped by her stepfather. Somehow this girl was a perpetual victim. Now more than ever, he felt it was the right call to keep her away from Victoria. No telling how damaged the girl was before the abduction, and whatever they were doing to her was bound to make it that much worse. Still, his duty was clear. Gary was researching why the charges against Jade hadn't been advanced, and now officer Vega was beginning to suspect this was somehow related. If it was, heaven help the one responcible.

Gary showed up about a half hour later along with the FBI. He was coordinating Two tactical units and waiting on the warrant. Once all the pieces were in place, they'd go in in force and take down all resistance. Covert officers were sent in in to watch the building, taking up position a short distance away. Just far enough to avoid being seen. They'd secured the code to a side gate so that, in the unlikely event the guard at the main gate was involved, they wouldn't tip off the suspects.

As they were planning, a little over an hour after the van entered the community, surveillance reported two people walking out the front door of the house to a car parked on the road. The suspects started to leave. Acting quickly, Gary had them pulled over shortly after they left the gate, and they made it look like a routine stop until both men were instructed to get out of the car with their hands up. The officers played it off as the car 'matching a description' of one they were looking for, and once the men were out, the officers told them they would need to search the car. While they did, who knows what evidence was in it, they really wanted to make sure these men didn't make any calls or warn their friends. The officers called in for a warrant and had the two searched. Once they secured both men and their phones, the men were placed in a police van along with a couple of officers to watch them, and ignored. Ty had identified one of them, and had pictured to back it up. They would be arrested and formally charged after the raid.

The Raid was done with all the speed they could muster. First, Officers cut across a couple of neighbors back yards to gain access to the house unnoticed. Then they had two vehicles drive up to the house and stop, disgorging officers as the ones who'd snuck up moved into place. Next they walked up to the house, announced they had a warrant, and burst in. It was over almost before it began. In the kitchen they found two men discussing business. A search of the house found a closet with a false back that hid the stairs to the cellar. The two men were arrested as the tactical team made their way through the house.

In the cellar they found four soundproofed cells, two of them occupied. The occupants were bound in a fashion that forced them to remain standing and exposed their backs. Both were in a state of partial undress. One of them, a girl who couldn't be older than twelve, stood stoically as the police approached her. She never made eye contact, and seemed subdued, broken. In the other was Jade, who was still unconscious after the events and beatings from the day. David didn't want to know what they had done to the girl. Officers quickly unbound her, removing a large and painful looking dildo from her vagina, and placed a blanket around her. They also applied a quick bandage to a slowly bleeding wound on her head.

Further search found police uniforms and a variety of sex toys and whips hidden in a side room in the cellar, as well as a table full of sex toys and torture implements in the room behind Jade. The two men were arrested again, with the extra charges added. In addition, the two men in the police van were formally arrested and charged.

The police didn't expect to find records, it was foolish to keep any proof of what these men did. They did find a laptop where the secondary hard drive had been blanked. It was grabbed in case the police forensics team could recover anything. Menwhile, the twelve year old girl told the police she was property, and that Sir was a good man who was teaching her to be a good girl. It took a bit of questioning to get the whole truth.

David was dismayed to find that, after a while, they would have a couple of man come in wearing the police uniforms, and the abductee's were led to believe that the police didn't consider them people. They were not to talk to the police, and if they did, they'd be punished. The men in uniform would then brutally rape the subject. It was conditioning to help prevent anyone who managed to escape from going to the police. Not that most of them would run. Once they were broken they tended to stay with their owners. The whole thing made Gary sick.

So there they were, taking Jade to the hospital. For both Gary and David, this felt uncomfortably familiar. Gary told David about what he'd uncovered so far, and officer David Vega used his connections to call in and request a task force to work on this case. They both knew it now, there was a conspiracy around Jade West, and it almost seemed to be to make her suffer.

Officers had already gone to her apartment and taped the place off. The landlord was upset, he'd have to replace the door now. Jade was probably going to have to pay for it. The police made sure nothing of hers was taken, looked around for contact information and called whomever they could. Jade's wallet was in the van, they hadn't had the chance to get rid of it yet. From there they called her social worker, her mother, and her therapist. The last was the one who rushed to the hospital as quickly as she could.

Jade woke up strapped to a bed. She was terrified, but aside from being handcuffed to the bed, she far more comfortable than she's been in a while. The first voice she heard was Doctor Bowers, her therapist from Catholic Charities. The Doctor talked to her, calmed her down, and tried to get her ready to answer questions. It wasn't more than a formality. They had all the forensic evidence they would need to put all four man way for a long time. It took a couple of hours to calm Jade down enough to give a statement, but after that was done, officer Vega showed up to her room to talk with her.

"Jade, I'm sorry. I never looked into what happened to you. I just accepted it when I was told you helped with the abduction, rape and murder of that girl, or any of the other rapes you were charged with. I never checked to see when these things happened. If I had, dam it, you were at my house when the abduction happened. You were with your friends, including my daughter, when most of the things you were accused of happened. You couldn't have been involved. Unless your stepfather had really broken you, he wouldn't risk telling you what he was doing." officer Vega said. It was a weight that had been growing on his chest since he first heard her name linked to this abduction. Jade just looked at him. She wanted someone to blame, but knew he did just what anyone would do.

"I'd say it's okay, but lets leave it at it's not your fault. It's, I'm never going to be okay." Jade was holding back the tears. She knew if she wasn't restrained, she'd have tried to end it by now. The whole ordeal was just too much.

"My ex-partner, Gary, he's been following your case. I'm going to be working with him now. There's some evidence of corruption, and from what I can see, it's all because one man blamed you for his own actions. Richard Mathews name came up while we were questioning the breaker. Turns out he doesn't do well when he's not in control. We didn't need anything to put him away, but we wanted to know about any others they'd broken and sold. He didn't tell us much, but insisted your father sold you to them. I doubt it was Henry West, so it's probably Richard." Officer Vega said.

"But he's in prison..." Jade said.

"Minimum security. He can still contact the outside world, trade favors, make deals. If we find out he's been behind this, he'll find out prison can get a lost worse." Mr. Vega said. "I want you to understand, we never wanted you to suffer like this. I talked to Ty, he's a great guy, and I'm proud of how you've turned your life around. I hope you can get over this and get back to your plans. I don't want this to be the thing that derails your future. I know you were violated, and whipped. I don't know how much more they did to you, but I assure you, this is not something that's going to happen all the time. Your police department is here to serve and protect. Even you. Please don't stop trying." The police officer was practically begging towards the end.

Jade could hear the guilt in his voice. He may have read her file, known all the things she supposedly done. Or maybe he had an inkling of the truth. Whatever, he was feeling guilty because he let it happen. Jade truly didn't blame him. He was doing what he had to to keep his family safe. Jade blamed Richard, Ginny, and mostly she blamed herself.

:}

Gotta love wicked stepfathers. Do you think the police, along with the FBI, can do anything to hurt Richard?.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit.

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

/In the days after the abduction and the hours of breaking her, Jade was in a bad way. Physically she'd heal in a short time, but the medical staff didn't trust her emotional state. Jade's record, now somewhat expunged, painted a very different picture of her while she was at Open Hearts. Instead of being a troublemaker who always got into fights, she was the girl on edge, highly self destructive, and her placement tried to beat that out of her. With that in mind, the hospital wasn't taking chances.

Jade was kept in the hospital for over two weeks. It didn't affect her education. Ty and her teachers worked with her to help her finish the quarter and pass all her classes. It took a lot of work to get her though the small amount of work left for the semester. Jade would often not want to work, or be distracted. Ty would remind her she was doing this for a reason. He had no idea about her deal with Ginny, but that simple reminder gave her the focus to get through her work. It wasn't A material, but passing was all she needed at that moment.

Being in the hospital for two weeks didn't affect her living arrangements, at least not in the short term. She was told that money from a fund that helps victims of violent crimes paid her rent for the next three months. It was a lie. As the police were starting their investigation, one of her stepfathers friends took action, donating a large sum to the charity in return for half of it going to pay Jade's rent. Many of Mister Mathews friends were stern, conservative types who wouldn't give a dime to a beggar on the street but would happily give generously to charities they believed in. This man, who's name would never be knows to Jade or her friends, felt some guild at what had happened to Jade. He paid her rent to help buy off his guilt at never doubting Richards character. Now, he had doubts, and as a final 'Favor' to Richard, paid for her rent, as well as all the deductibles of her stay in the hospital. He even paid to upgrade her to a better room.

However, the stay in the hospital cost her her job. Her boss needed someone in the diner waiting tables, and even a week off was too much. Jade didn't earn vacation at that place, and so when he heard she was going to be gone for a while, he let her go. Even though Jade hated that crappy diner and the constant ogling the clientele gave her, she was upset to lose it. She was worried about money. She had very little saved up, most of her cash going to pay for her education and all extras that go with it. On top of that, she was in the hospital. That was never free. Hospital stays were, in fact, quite expensive.

Doctor Bowers, her therapist from catholic Charities, let her in on a secret. Jade was still on her fathers insurance. He'd never bothered to take her off. While she'd been living on her own, she was in school and it just made more sense to keep her insured. Maybe he didn't think he should. It didn't matter what the reason, she was insured. The family plan from his work was happy to include her until she was twenty five, and he had a good plan. The only thing the insurance didn't cover was her therapy, because Catholic Charities was not one of their approved providers. Jade still got that service, Helping hands had worked with her social worker to open other funds, and they'd cover her for a few more years as well. But what was important, what Doctor Bowers was telling her, was covered. Jade could stay in the hospital as long as she needed, and that was until they were sure she was ready to leave. And they were not going to let her leave as long as they thought she was, in any way, a threat to her own safety.

So Jade participated in two weeks of therapy. Physical, art, group and individual, she did it all. Jade even went to a survivors group, and admitted to more than they bargained for. She talked about the breaker raping her, and about her stepfather's constant abuse. They helped her to process what everything that had happened to her, or at least begin to. It was only two weeks, barely enough time for her to truly feel the emotional effects of the abduction. Jade was healing slowly, but the main point, the main goal of those two weeks was to make sure she wanted to live. A fair number of rape victims commit suicide, and Doctor Bowers was determined not to lose this girl. They'd worked too hard, both in Pacifica and in LA, to let Jade just give up. Some people were just like that, and Doctor Bowers had lost too many kids to the street, drugs or despair to let someone with this much fight in them just give up..

Once she got out of the hospital, she felt different, damaged. Ty cared for her, but he wasn't the one for her. Honestly, she didn't think anyone would ever want her now. She thanked him for his help and praised him as her hero, but told him she was gay. It was a little lie to protect his ego. He knew the truth, but didn't tell her. Jade West wasn't ready to know that she was probably right. Ty decided to just be friends. Jade still blamed herself, but couldn't let Ginny down, so she decided to keep trying.

Ty'd suffered his own trauma trying to save her. To rub it in, he was forced to receive a Good Citizen award for his actions, something he didn't think he deserved. While Jade was in the hospital, he was being praised by the press for his quick thinking and altruistic ways. The added attention would help him find work in the long run, if only because it was publicity. What he got for saving a girl from slavery was a lot of potential dates, and to get to know a counselor from Calarts who helped him talk through his issues. That would take an hour per week for the rest of his time at school. The guilt of not saving Jade from the abuse would stay with him until he finally understood, any other action could have gotten him killed, and jade would have been just as gone.

Jade started looking for another job. She needed money to keep going to school, and without her crappy waitressing gig, she was left busking for cash. She did odd jobs as she went to interviews. She babysat, she cleaned houses, she did whatever she had to to make the next months rent, as well as pay for Calarts. Sometimes she got the work through people she knew, sometimes she just went to the bulletin boards at school looking for work. She avoided becoming a stripper, only because she wasn't ready to be that sexualized yet. No matter what else she had to do, as long as it was legal, she earned the money to keep trying. Jade was focused. It kept her from losing herself in all the pain.

Also, she needed to replace her fleece blanket. The loss of that was a stronger blow than she'd expected. It was one of her luxuries, one of the few things she had that was more than just survival. To her, it was her pampering herself, something she couldn't afford to do normally. She used to take advantage of it's large size and wrap herself in it, feeling like she was in a warm embrace, and she missed the comfort. As much as she felt she was being punished, or that she should be, her therapist insisted she replace that item as soon as she could set aside the money. It was apparently more important than the scooter. So while she may have felt guilty budgeting the new fleece blanket into her planned expenses, she did it. She considered herself lucky they didn't destroy her coffee maker.

Jade sweet talked some of the other students at Calarts, and got herself on a temporary technical crew. They only worked occasionally, but the money was good. Jade worked for them a total of once, helping some nobody make their first video. Three days of shooting, fifteen hours per day. The money was enough to replace her blanket and save up for the tuition. Then she got a chance to do it for a different artist.

Tori Vega had gotten back from tour anxious to find Jade. However, she was only taking a short break to shoot a video for her newest song. Tori would use the excuse to visit her family and spend some time with Andre, who lived in the area. Her other friends were asked if they wanted to hang out, but she got a mixed response. Beck was on summer break, but wanted to stay in New York and work a small part in an off off off Broadway show. However Cat and Robbie were willing to hang out at her house. Tori was looking forward to another get together with her old friends.

On top of all that, Tori'd managed, in one tour, to both meet and lose a guy. Rick was a business executive with the distribution arm of the record label. He talked like he was just a regular guy who got lucky and worked in this dream job. He was good looking, charming, and seemed to have that confidence that Tori would later learn came from asking a lot of girls out. Tori fell hard, but not deep. It didn't take long for her to see that Rick liked to date the new flavor of the month. He tended to dump them if they looked to be leaving the label soon. But Tori was beautiful, talented, and gullible enough to believe his everyman story. However, by the end of the tour, Tori's infatuation was gone and she knew he was only loyal as long as she seemed to be moving up the company charts.

Rick also knew he had to end things. Mason found out, and in an uncharacteristic move told Rick to back off. Mason knew Tori was a long term player, and he had no interest in having any leaches sucking her dry or otherwise preventing her from earning him money. Mason would never, even under torture, admit he wanted something more for her. Mason Thornsmith had a lot of friends, but only a few who he would take personal risks for. Tori wasn't one, but deep inside he felt that Jade could have been, so he looked out for Tori the way Jade had the day she defied him. So in the end, Rick was off to his next promising young starlet, and Tori was left wondering why she only attracts jerks.

Jade walked onto the studio complex, both excited and annoyed. She was going to be working on another music video. She was anticipating making some money, but upset she was going to be hit on by every horn dog in the stars entourage. She didn't understand why the work cloths didn't turn them off.

The crew Jade was a part of had subcontracted with bigger crews. They never knew who they'd be working for until they showed up for work, and sometimes long after that. As subcontractors, they didn't get any details their employers didn't think they needed. Jade knew how much she was getting per hour, how many hours per day, and how many days they anticipated she'd be working. She didn't know any other details. The Video did mean two to three days pay at her hourly rate, including overtime if they went over ten hours. Two to thee long days where she had to constantly adjust lighting and otherwise help out on the set. Fourteen to sixteen hour days that would be paid quickly, and she knew how she would spend that money. Rent and food were taken care of, and so half would be saved and the other half would be put in her bike/scooter fund. Seventy dollars would buy her used but serviceable bike. Seven hundred would get her a used gas powered scooter. Jade was hoping for the second. A scooter would give her the freedom to move about the city, but would not have the power to ride the freeways and that would keep her local. A low powered scooter, with a max speed of about thirty MPH, would do for most commuting. Better to find a slightly more powerful scooter with a cruising speed over forty MPH. While ti would be far more expensive, it was also was more Jade's style. Jade was imagining the return of her personal freedom when she walked into the sound stage where she was going to be working for the next couple of days.

Normally a crew member like her would work for several hours before the star even showed up, and today was no different. Jade was set to work and helped set the lights for the shoot. As was usually, she would be checked out by a few of the people involved in the production. It happened with the last video. Some guy saw her, checked her out, and asked her if she wanted to be in the video. Imagine his surprise when she asked how much it paid. The guy was expecting to 'get some' from her in return for him helping her get into the video. Jade was expecting the same this time. There was always someone in the entourage who was looking to get laid, and trading sex for an introduction to the director was fairly common.

As the morning wore on, the set slowly took the form of a dance club, complete with stage. The big difference was the director would control everything in this environment, including the extras. Jade had helped set the lighting so they could have both the color schemes the needed, and could have clear filming from multiple angles. Towards ten that morning, as predicted, someone walked up to Jade and asked her if she'd like to perform in this video. When Jade asked how much, she was surprised to get an offer.

Over the next three days, The performer (still not mentioned.) was going to make a concert style video, with other scenes cut in to tell a story. Jade was asked if she wanted to be a backup dancer. The director had his ideas, but was willing to change them to include an extra beautiful girl. The best part, she was not being asked for sex. Rather, the performer saw her and had requested she be included. Jade was intrigued, but a little put off by not knowing who she'd be working with. Did anyone involved with the shoot even know?

Romance with some perv looking for a little on the side didn't thrill her. Jade asked to talk with the performer, and while she was asking, wanted to know who it was. The first person just laughed and handed her over to another guy, the guy who would act as her guide past the performers personal security. Jade was finished setting the lights for now, and would have helped out in other areas, usually until the director took some test shots and started having everything adjusted. Since she was 'free', she agreed to go talk to her mysterious benefactor. She was walked over towards a trailer where the star was going over her wardrobe, and Jade had only learned the gender of the performer. Her guide talked to her to her as they walked. "Miss Vega is really approachable, so just relax and you can ask her what she wants from you."

Tori. This was a video shoot for Tori. Jade stopped in her tracks. Jade's heart started to pound in her chest. Suddenly she needed to know how close she was. She backed up, almost tripping as she attempted to get away. Was it one hundred feet? One hundred yards? It made a difference. The guide, some assistant named Mark, stopped and looked at the fleeing girl, confusion overtaking his features. This was not what he expected. "Are you all right?" He asked, his mind reeling as to why this girl would react this way. "I understand you might not like her music, but this is a bit rude, don't you think. She's expecting you." His smile did nothing to ease the lighting technicians mind.

"I can't. I'm not allowed within a hundred yards of her." Jade shot back. "I shouldn't be here. I'm sorry, I gotta go." Jade turned around and ran, looking for the head of her crew. She found the guy, Allen, and quickly told him she had to go. She didn't wait to get paid for the Five hours she'd already worked, instead just taking off. She ran off set, and once out of the sound stage, she slowing down to a walk. As she quickly made her way out of the complex where the stage was, she called Ty for a ride. She needed to be gone before the police got there. Being arrested didn't fit in with her career plans. Besides, she'd been in handcuffs too often for her liking.

Mark was nervous when he told Tori what had happened. It wasn't what she'd been expecting. When she'd seen one of the technicians, and thought how the girl reminded her of Jade, she'd wanted the girl to be in some of the later parts of the video. After they shot the concert parts of the video, there was going to be several of her hanging out with a group of friends. Tori wanted that girl in that group, so she'd have at least one person in that group who looked like one of her friends. It wasn't hard work, and it probably paid well, so the girl should have been happy for the easier job.

Tori was confused when she heard the girls reaction. When she heard the young woman ran off, it added to the confusion. Then Mark mentioned how weird the girl acted once he mentioned Tori's name. Something about not coming closer than a hundred feet, or something like that. He doubted it was one of her stalkers. They'd never have made it past security. Tori'd stopped listening by that point. She needed to find this woman. It had to be Jade. It had to be.

Jade made it home, and she was a little heart broken. She really wanted that bike. Now, she'd have to put off the freedom of just going, driving around until she found some place to chill. Her rotten luck had, once again, surfaced. At least no one tried to rape her this time. Frustrated, she got her computer and walked to the local coffee shop. Might as well look on line for a new job. With her past, it was hard to get one, but she had to try.

Tori was resting between performances when she took the chance to talk with her bodyguard, Luther. She wanted to know why Jade ran. The big man was back after doing the rounds with the security guys. Tori suspected he'd been pissed about someone who might be on the watch list getting that close to her.

"Why did she run?" Tori asked the big man.

"Who?" Luther asked.

"Jade. I think that was Jade West, and I want to know why she ran away. Do you think she blames me for what happened to her? I can't believe she'd hold that against me?" Tori said, sounding hurt. Luther didn't know what she was talking about, other than the name Jade. He recalled the kid Tori had talked too just a few weeks ago, and the name that had caused such a stir behind the scenes. Still, she had asked a question, so he did a quick search of her records and had a quick conversation with the crew chief, and got his answers.

"Well, it was her. I don't think she was mad at you, or holds that indecent against you. Rather, if you remember, you have a Permanent Restraining Order on her. For the next three years, longer if you renew it, she can't come withing a hundred yards of you or your place of work, or for that matter, any of your family except your father. From what I just heard, she knew that, so I'm guessing she didn't know you were going to be here when she took the job. They told me she was a subcontractor, and they don't tell those guys much of anything" He replied. He'd done his research on the girl, since the day they ran into her brother, and he knew a lot about her by this point. He didn't like what he found. While a lot of the charges against her were in dispute, she came across as violent and unpredictable, not qualities he wanted near his charge.

Tori just looked at him, then she did the next thing that she could think of. She called her dad. Luther watched her, knowing this would not end well. It never did. Nothing about this West girl was going to end well. They were leaving by the end of the week to resume her tour, so the problem would probably take care of itself. Still, he decided to have the Private investigator he hired prepare a dossier on Jade for the next time Tori asked about her. He suspected he would need it.

"Tori, Meja, to what do I own the honor of this phone call?" Officer Vega said. She had heard he was no longer working out of the PR division, and he sounded much happier.

"I was wondering, why do we have a restraining order against Jade?" Tori asked.

"She was suspected of being involved in the abduction of that girl, the one who was raped and murdered. It's just a precaution." He responded. This was not a conversation he wanted. He wanted her to come home, spend the day with Holly and him, and in general have a little family time. Drama could disrupt their visit.

"What ever happened in that investigation?" Tori asked. "I really doubt he had her helping him. He was beating and raping her. I don't think, if she did it, she was in her right mind."

"Actually, well, she kinda didn't know. Richard Mathews would never give anyone that kind of ammo to use against him. Also, she had alibi's for the times when the girl was contacted, abducted, raped, and murdered, as well as the other charges against her. The evidence clearly shows she was innocent." David said. He kept the part about her being framed to himself. Tori didn't need to know.

"Then I want to see her." Tori said.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want you to get hurt, and anything involving Jade is likely to end up hurting you. She's been through a lot, and I don't think she's the same girl you used to know. Believe it or not, she could be much worse. She should be. So just drop it, okay? Your mother is looking forward to seeing you, so once you're done filming that video, remember you promised to come for a visit." He was dodging the conversation. Tori was upset, but deep inside, she felt the thrill of victory. By the end of the week, she'd have the order removed. Since she almost never won arguments with her father, she decided to get back to work. She was going back on tour soon. It would be three months before she could visit the goth anyways. Three months, then she'd finally get closure for that kiss junior year, and move closer to a goal she'd forgotten she had.

Luther pulled up Max's number, and sent the kid a quick text. He wasn't ready to give anyone Jade's address, knowing that Tori would find out and go see her, but the kid did deserve to know his sister was alive and in LA. He played it off as her being part of the crew hired to work on the video, and her voluntarily leaving so as not to break the restraining order. Then he contacted HR, and made arrangements to get her pay check. She'd get paid for the full day, and he would deliver it while Tori was at her parents house.

Two days later, Luther found himself at Jade's apartment. The girl wasn't there. Not being the most patient sometimes, he decided to ask around. Soon he found her, busking at the local coffee shop. She was good, almost as good as Tori. She could defiantly do this professionally. People were dropping money in her keyboards case as she played, and the local management seemed to know her. As he approach her, he took her paycheck and dropped it in the case. "You worked a day, you get paid for a days work." he said. Jade stopped playing, looking at the large and intimidating man. "I need to talk with you, if you've got five minutes." he said.

Jade announced she was taking a break, and took a seat at a near by table. Luther sat across from her. "So what do you want to talk about?" Jade asked, eying the large man carefully. Her hands drifted near her boot, where Luther's research had told him she keeps a pair of scissors.

"I wanted to talk about Tori Vega. I work for her, but she has no Idea I'm here." he stated.

"It's okay, I won't be bothering her again. It was a mistake. No one told me she'd be there." Jade shot out, trying to let the big man know she wasn't a threat.

"That's not why I'm here. I've had someone track you down, gather a little intel about you and I think I know some of what you've been through. I can see you're trying. It's been what, six weeks since your abduction? Its almost like you just can't catch a break." he smiled, trying to sound comforting. That was never his strong suit. Jade was curious, but kept quiet. She gestured for him to get to the point. "Jade, if I may call you that, we both know Tori is too sweet for her own good. She called her father to have the restraining order removed. Next, once she thinks about it, she'll call her lawyer, if she hasn't already. What I want to know is why? Why is she so determined to see you right now? We both know, after everything you've been through, you're not the same person she used to know. If anything, you're worse off now then back when you were her bully." He took a moment, barely three breaths, to size her up, trying to see what drew both Tori and Mason to this girl. Then he switched tactics. He needed to change his aproach. "So if you can, forget about her. Do what you've been doing, get your education, have a life. Maybe, in the future, when things have changed, you'll be in a position to have her in your life again. Tori doesn't need to try and save you. She needs to focus on her career, and it's best if you stay away. Okay?"

"I'll keep my distance, but I assure you, if Vega wants something that doesn't involve love, she'll get it. It's how things have always been for her." Luther was amused at the wording of Jade's statement. Tori did have bad luck at love. "As for why she wants to see me? Not sure. You know, she's the one who finally found out what Richard was doing to me. It was dumb luck, but she showed up with her father and half the L.A. P.D. I think she'd like to think she saved me, and after everything I've learned recently, maybe she did. Doesn't matter. What I'm trying to say, she's always wanted to be my friend. It didn't matter how much I pushed her away, she always tried. So I'm guessing it's just that something she feels she earned." Jade took the check and pushed it back towards the large, intimidating man. "I don't need you money, I'll stay away." Jade said with a sigh.

"I wasn't kidding about you earning that money. Take it or the state of California will be up our ass about it. Spend it on whatever you want. You've earned it. I didn't come here to bribe you. Once you realized what was going on, you left on you own. I think you've got some honor. I'm just appealing to you. Tori's sheltered. Let her have her innocence. Sooner or later, she'll lose it, but for now, let her believe she did a good thing and you're life is fine." Luther said, then he took a deep breath, stood up and took his exit.

Now that he saw her, face to face, he still felt it was for the best for Tori to know the truth. However, he suspected he knew what Tori wanted. He could see it in the way Tori spoke of her. And now that he'd met Jade, he'd taken her measure. The girl had a sense of honor, and hurt as she was, seemed focused on doing something with her life. Mostly, he saw the pain in her eyes and confusion in her voice when talking about why Tori wanted to see her. Old attractions were dangerous, not always healthy, but this one was different. Jade was right about Tori, about her love life, but if things went just right, then Jade would fit Tori's needs just fine. It was just a matter of timing. Maybe in a few years.

Mason Thornsmith wanted to know about her, so he'd be updating that man as well. He was not looking forward to telling Mason that Jade West was not as much a bitch as she used to be, but he suspected the fire was still there. It would just take some time and assistance for her to heal a bit, and that fire would be back. Mason would be happy, for now, but he was not a patient man. He'd want to be a part of whatever Jade did that broke her out and made her a star, if it happened. When it happened.

Luther was good at reading what might happen in any situation he was in. It made his job as a bodyguard easier. He also learned to see attraction and lust. Those tended to erase logic, and that always lead to trouble. Today it provided him with another dividend. Mason had hired him to keep an eye on Tori, protect his investment, but the part neither saw was his watching out for the innocent girls emotional well being. From what he'd seen, they just needed time. It would take time before they knew if Jade and Tori still had whatever spark they once had. Luther hoped so. Jade was someone who could be good for Tori, if the romance ever happened. He got in his car, and drove home. He was earning the Money Mason payed him tonight. But he had to admit, this was starting to look like it could end up being a good thing. That just didn't happen that often.

:}

Not my best work. For those wondering about how Richard is doing, check out the next chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (I think we're past the worst of it.)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know. This chapter is heavy into things she won't know, at least not for a while.

:}

By the end of summer, Jade was starting to make headway dealing with her emotional scars. The last two blows to her heart still lingered, but therapy was eating it's way through, getting her back to where she was before she was abducted. On other fronts of her life, other events were conspiring to move her from just scrapping by, and moving towards financial stability, if only for the short term.

It started while she was spending those two weeks in the hospital. During that time, Doctor Bowers had a talk with Officer Gary, David Vega's partner. One of the things they discussed was the ongoing case against Jade. Gary told the doctor everything that could be shared at that time, including how they now knew Jade was not guilty of aiding in any sex crimes. While Gary didn't know the full significance of what he told her, it was enough to set the doctor in motion. Doctor Bowers called her contacts at Catholic Charities, who called the county and made arrangements for Jade to have a hearing challenging her placement on the sex offenders watch list. Jade's social worker got both police officers to testify, both about her innocents and the conspiracy that kept her on the list for so long. Jade was quickly cleared, and was no longer a registered sex offender.

While Jade's past was being cleared up, Doctor Bowers was taking care of other needs. There were benefits that came from being in the system, from having been in foster care for any length of time. The doctor was using her contacts to try and get Jade a few of them. The next one on the list was housing. Jade's social worker and case worker broke records in how quickly they filled out the forms and arranged an interview. They'd found a THP Plus program near where she was going to school, and put her name in for an open slot. With her criminal record cleared, Jade went from being unplaceable to highly desirable. They cleared the hurdle of her age, and all it took was a little while on a waiting list for her to get a new place to live.

Other funds were opening up as well. Jade qualified for a state run college fund for kids who'd been in group homes. The fund was fairly full. It was rarely used. Too many of the kids it was meant to help would never go to college. Jade's advocates managed to get the fund to pay for the next three years of her education, including book, food, and a stipend for housing.

The stipend didn't cover the entire rent, and that was deliberate. Many THP Plus programs required a rent be paid, with most of it going into a savings account for the resident, while others helped pay their rent at an apartment, or otherwise were variant forms of the original idea of helping these kids who'd been in the system transition out into the adult world. It was one of the reasons that the programs all required the potential resident to either have a job or be going to school. Jade was going to school, and would have a job to help her pay the rent. The stipend would cover the actual rent, and Jade would put a large percentage of her earnings into a savings account for when she graduated. It seemed perfect on paper, and by the beginning of September everything was set. Once they got her into a program in Valencia, just a couple of miles away from the campus, they let her know the good news about what had been done for her. They expected Jade would jump at the chance to move into the new, more secure place.

Jade didn't want to move. She hated the idea that she of being on assistance. Her various workers insisted that Jade avoid going deeper into debt to get her education. Jade still didn't feel like she'd earned it. Jade would have qualified for multiple scholarships if Richard hadn't been raping her, but she felt she hadn't earned any assistance from the government. They then told her that they would have Richard to pay back whatever she got from the system, sort of a way to force him to do his parental duty, something he obviously didn't do before. Jade still didn't want it. She didn't want anything from that man. Her therapist told her this wasn't a payoff, or anything remotely like it. It was a fine, punishment for trying to sell her, and if she refused, he might go unpunished. That's what finally got Jade to agree to the services being offered to her. While him not being punished was a lie, it still had the desired effect. Jade's education was going to be taken care of.

Jade found another job towards the end of summer. With her name off the sex offenders list, it was easy for the now experienced goth to get a job waitressing at another restaurant. The pay was exactly the same, if you didn't count tips. However, she was now working in a much nicer restaurant. Jade's income with tips was going increase over fifty percent despite working fewer hours. Jade decided to take the reduced work load for a couple of reasons. First, she would be taking a heavy class load to satisfy her double major in Acting and Filmaking. Second, Jade wanted to keep time open for the occasional tech crew gigs she might get, or just busking. The crew work was giving her practical experience as well as getting her know around Hollywood. Jade was starting to plan for the future. Jade was starting to believe again that she had a future.

Jade had learned some harsh lessons from her past. One was that she could never tell when things were about to go sideways. so planning for the future meant more than having friends who would miss her. She still couldn't believe anyone would care enough about her to miss her when things went wrong again. No, planning for the future meant saving enough cash for her to live on for a while, for the next time things changed and her life fell apart. She had no idea what other landmines Richard and his friends had laid out in front of her. So by the beginning of fall, Jade had moved into a new place, with a new job, and her life was starting to get easier.

Richard, meanwhile, was having his own rude awaking. Despite the investigation around what happened to Jade, his comfortable living arrangements had not been disturbed. The evidence against him was too circumstantial, and his lawyers were very good. However, there were potent repercussions that rocked his world. The ongoing investigation was starting to put too much pressure on the people who'd been helping Richard deal with Jade. Each time the police moved, Richard felt his world contract just a little bit.

Many of the people who'd helped with Jade didn't do anything more than change a few words in a document or make suggestions about her future. There were even a few who'd helped get Jade emancipated thinking they were doing her a favor. These people were now being questioned, often watched. Those who altered documents found that the police didn't like any form of corruption, and were just as happy to arrest and charge them.

Through all of this, David and his partner Gary dug through the growing mountain of documents and other evidence, following what was often thin connections until, with the proof that someone set Jade up to be taken and sold into slavery, they rattled people and got more information. Little crimes opened up new avenues in the investigation, and bigger players started to emerge. The investigation expanded beyond just what was done to Jade, and any form of corruption connected even tangentially to anything involving Jade's ordeal was investigated.

Initially Gary wasn't too happy about the course of the investigation. Police officers like to make arrests at the end of their investigations, if not before. The reward for their hard work, Big arrests were what got the upper brass to notice. However, the more he and David dug, the more walls of influence they ran into, and it looked for a while like the 'old boys club' would stop this investigation before any meaningful arrests could take place.

David, however, was feeling good about their work. Each wall they ran into was another power player rattled by the investigation. Already, many of Richards friends were distancing themselves from him. There were many ways outside the court system to take down a man like him, and as Richards legitimate friends found out what kind of man he was, many pulled their support from him. Maybe it was just a councilman who didn't speak up for Richard, but that was one more layer of protection gone. Each such individual soon found they had to denounce him, or each thing they said or did would be questioned. While at one point, loyalty enhanced their value as friends, their usefulness to other fixers was now dependent on letting him go. He became a stigma, being his friend meant doing nothing while the police accused him of the most heinous crimes.

Then there were Richards most valued friends. These were people who had money but were never seen in the public's perception. They were the ones with the most to lose, since this kind of police work could drag their secrets out into the light. Being people with money but out of the public eye, they wanted protection from the little things they had done. Many a man thought Richard had procured for them a night with a willing teenage girl, not aware that the girl was being coerced into prostituting themselves. Suddenly infidelity was no longer the biggest scandal they faced if their history came to light. Others had benefited from favors bought with illicit means. These men often had little to fear from the police, but their reputations would be damaged, and reputation to them was worth a lot of money.

Ironically, of the friends he'd traded favors with, it was some of the people who'd never received or done one unethical thing that stood by him the longest. They were the ones who believed he was the upstanding citizen he pretended to be. They had no reason to believe he was anything other than the good man he pretended to be. Like the victims of a great con, they found it easier to hang on to that belief than admit they'd let this serpent of a man that close to their families.

Then, towards the end of July, things started to happen. As the domino's started to fall, Richard Mathews began to feel isolated. Many of his totally legitimate contacts, more often than not essential for arranging payoffs to his informants and suppliers, were horrified to find out what that man was into. Slowly a picture of the web of corruption and influence was being uncovered, and Richard was becoming the curse dragging his contacts down.

Still other members of Richards old circle were horrified at what he had done to the sweet little girl who sang and danced for them at parties. The thought that Richard might be trying to sell her for favors, or just as bad if he kept her as his own while selling others daughters, made these men sick. Often conservative men of wealth, they followed their moral compass religiously. Many would have forgiven beating her to ensure she obey, but the implied incest was enough to make them denounce him and follow through. To them, he became a monster.

By the end of summer, Richard was a pariah, none of his old associates wanting to ever hear his name again. Some were caught and tried for a variety of crimes. While powerful friends could stymie a local police inquiry, the FBI was involved. They didn't do much beyond step in every time the local politico's got in the way, but that cleared a lot of hurdles in getting to the truth. That led to arrests, and new rounds of alligations.

Then there was the most damming thing from the investigation. Richard was safe, but a lot of others weren't, when the slaver and his breaker suddenly, involuntary gave up a lot of their clients. It came down to technology. The hard drive recovered from the slaver had been erased, but the computer forensics team, working with the NSA, recovered almost all the data from it. It had taken over two months, but now the police had information they could move on. Dozens of people found themselves under scrutiny, and many were arrested for slavery. It was not the end of the problem, but it did make a dent in the LA underage prostitution rings as well as the underground slavery rings. Repercussions would be felt across the U.S. Slavers and breakers across the country started getting investigated, and that would lead to more arrests. That was when Gary finally started to feel happy. The hard work got results, and that would enhance his career. David felt good when almost a hundred enslaved youths were sent back to their families, or to institutes to help them recover.

Richard saw everything he'd build slipping away, so he did what he always did. He looked for someone else to blame. It's what he'd been doing from the beginning. His mind drifted back, going over how he'd ended up in this hell hole, and he started assigning blame. He blamed Miranda for basically selling her child to him in return for a better life. Maybe she could, in her mind, interpret it as he could discipline Jade as he wanted, but she'd made it clear that he could do whatever with her little girl. She had been willing to do just about anything for the prominent place in his life she had wanted.

When they agreed to get married, Miranda had said he could sleep with whomever he wanted, and that she'd sleep with whomever he wanted if it meant a better life for her. The brat was never mentioned, beyond the understanding that he could do with her as he wanted. So he put his rules down, and punished Jade for every infraction. He often used her to take out his frustrations when a deal went bad, or other things pissed him off. He had to stay cool and collected for his clients, so the girl became his release. And of course, it wasn't his fault. God rewarded him for what he did, and the girls own family seemed to think it was the best thing that could have happened. Richard was never punished, so he had to be in the right.

It was not his first taste of power, he liked trading favors as an aside from his boring job. He'd been trading favors since high school, often helping another jock with homework, or arranging someone else to take the fall when the quarterback got that slut pregnant. No, Richard had been building his power base for over twenty years by the time he met Miranda.

It was the freedom that incited him. He had always protected himself, and what he did to Jade just made him feel like no one could touch him. He felt truly alive as he pushed to see how much Jade would do to stay with him. He was always ready to talk to one of her teacher, waiting to see if anyone caught on to what he was doing. As he went unpunished for his actions, he felt like he was a god. His wife, she was part of his business world. Selling time with her was just a way for him to get more favors, and he used them to enhance his life. It was Miranda and Jade's fault these things happened. If they'd wanted it any other way, they'd have left. It was their choice, so it was their fault.

Richard wanted Jade as self reliant as possible, so she'd be more fun to break later. Convenience turned to a goal as she got older and found ways to get around his rules. He didn't care. His plans shifted as she slowly morphed into a commodity. By the time she was twelve, he knew he wanted to sell her. His big problem started when he figured out how to control her. He didn't mind hurting Miranda, it was her fault for not standing up to him, for selling her daughter and just not being enough.

The first time he raped Jade, his world changed. He could have the girl whenever he wanted. She tried to tell people, and he punished her for it. Hell, they gave her back to him, and added more to her punishment. She tried to escape, and he punished her for it, along with Miranda for not helping with this troublesome child. With each time he got away with hurting Jade, he felt more invincible. By the time she was thirteen and in Hollywood Arts, he'd delayed selling her twice to see how things went. As long as he was enjoying the game, he would keep her.

It was Hollywood Arts that first caused him to broaden his horizons. Jade was busy more often, and he was feeling the need to dominate something. His trade in favors bough a college girl to his attention. He arranged for her to get drunk and make a few "mistakes" at a party. He intended for her to entertain him, and she did. He forced her to sleep with him, then have a three way with Miranda. He thought about having one with Jade, but he liked the chase she gave him and didn't want this slut knowing that running was an option. So he sold her body for favors to several of his contacts. Finally, months later, he let her go. She was completely broken, cutting herself and using drugs so as not to feel. Also, by that point he had three other young women under his thumb. It was their fault, they could have said no, and just taken the consequences. Their reputations would eventually recover.

He also started being more careful about using protection. He'd been lax due to his vasectomy, but those 'sluts' weren't as careful. He'd have been surprised to learn that the VD was from one of his friends, and that the girl didn't have it before she started trying to pay Richard off. Still, he punished her for it. The punishment was bad enough that the girl chose to take her own life, just to escape him. Richard just shrugged it off. It was her choice. He didn't do anything, and he wasn't going to be blamed for her not having the guts to take the consequences of her actions.

It was shortly before Jade turned fourteen when he, for the first time, sold one of his "Slaves". He did it just to see if the breaker would take the girl. It was a new feeling. He'd made the girls keep his involvement a secret, and since a previous one had killed herself, he knew no one would look too hard at him once she was gone. He again blamed Jade, she wasn't exciting enough any more, and he needed the thrill. Also, he needed to know who to sell her to. Jade was talented, so she was worth more to would be buyers. He resolved to sell her soon, but delayed that choice as he continued to drive girls to fuck whomever he wanted and only let them go when he tired of them. He would sell some to his sleaziest friends, while he would give others to friends to play with until they "Broke it off". The Later girls didn't even know these guys didn't have the blackmail materials. And the guys usualy thought the girls were into them because of Richards influence.

Then one of the girls talked. It wasn't as bad as it could be. No one believed her. No one except her ex boyfriend. Problem was, the ex went to Richard, confronting him in his office, demanding that he back off. Richard pretended not to know what the boy was talking about, but now he was in a sticky situation. If he released the pictures he had of the girl, her boyfriend would have the evidence he needed to go after Richard. He didn't want to have his little empire rocked by scandal. But no one defies Richard Mathews, and certainly no college age boy was going to get away with threatening him.

Richard waited until he could act. First, he framed the boyfriend for some minor crime, just to punish him for disparaging the good name of Richard Mathews. It was hardly the first time he arranged for someone to take the heat for something he himself had done. Then, while he had an alibi claiming he was home, Richard kidnapped the girl. He called her to meet him in a public place about getting the pictures, but had a couple of guy's he knew grab her in the parking lot, and deliver her to him. He was going to teach her a lesson. He dragged her to a friends house, and along with another friend they took turns raping the girl. It was her fault. She talked. She should have known better than to have talked.

Unfortunately, the rough sex was more rough than intended. Richard likes to think he never planned on killing her, that the use of condoms would make it impossible for anyone to figure out who raped the girl. Miranda would give him an alibi, so it looked to him like it was the perfect crime. Then one of his friends offered him extra to let the guy strangle the girl, and Richard agreed. Richard then charged to dump the body in a park. None of it was his fault. He was just cleaning up after a friend.

He came to the conclusion that it was Jade's fault. It was always Jade's fault. She was his first taste of forbidden fruit, and once he had his first bite, he could never go back. That's why, when her friend and that bitch cop got him busted, he had his friends hurt Jade. They could only do so much, he wanted her broken but still alive. He still planned on selling her. However, once she was in the system, she proved to be difficult to get back. People were watching her now. He'd handle that after he got his revenge on the others who'd dare interfere in his business.

His revenge went off, but not nearly as successfully as he'd have liked. He was in a cushy prison, but it's still a prison. His other plans for revenge ran into limits he'd not anticipated as well. His friends had no trouble breaking up the two cops who'd been responsible for his arrest, but exposing the affair the partner was having with the cops wife didn't end the marriage. Worse, the cop had a lot of friends in the department, so he was put on "Relaxed" duty in the public relations department instead of the shit duty Richard tried to get him. Richard didn't want the man dead, he had other plans.

His plans to have friends arrange the rape the cops daughter were derailed by her sudden shift into fame. Bodyguards made the guys he'd paid to rape her nervous. They'd refused to do it once they knew she was a cops daughter. They knew how bad things could get for them. Richard never bother researching the cops other daughter, convinced by that point that anything he did was going to cost him a lot of grief. He just had to be happy screwing up the cops life.

Then there was the kid who recorded everything. Something kept that kid out of reach as well. His lawyer friends had sued the kid with the weird name for invasion of privacy, only to discover the kids father had money, and the kids mother knew some freaky people. The lawsuit quickly got thrown out on some technicalities, and Richard found his friends caught in an end run. They backed off out of a sense of self preservation. The boy had served community service for his crime, and that was the end of the story as far as the law was concerned. Richards friends told him that further actions might bring reprisals, and he agreed that it was best to limit things to the what the law could do. He had that under control. Besides, he still needed to hurt Jade, and to further separate her from her old friends.

The restraining orders were pitifully easy to arrange. Most of the parents of Jade's friends were too happy to sign them, and Richard was ecstatic at what they accomplished. While Jade almost died, she was now estranged from her friends and family, and once she had some time to heal up, he'd just snatch her at his convenience. Doing well at the new placement only made it that much easier for his friends, well meaning friends this time, to get Jade kicked out and on her own months before she was ready. He let her suffer in the real world, confident Miranda would keep him up to date on her life, so that when she was taken she'd know just how bad the world could be. It was what the bitch deserved, and would make her that much easier to break when the time came.

He hadn't meant to let it sit on the sidelines so long, but Social services didn't know Jades address, just what she told them. It was Miranda's fault. She was supposed to keep tabs on Jade for him, not just spend his money. Still, after she started seeing that therapist from Catholic Charities, it was a matter of time before he had all the information he needed. He realized he had to act now, she was succeeding in life, and she wasn't supposed to. Jade was taken on the first opportunity available once Richard could shuffle the deal out of the prison unnoticed, sent to the breaker he knew for processing. It wasn't his fault things didn't go as planned.

The blow-back was far worse than he'd imagined. The cop he despised, along with his ex partner, were following his list of favors like it would lead to the holy grail. Richards friends were abandoning him far faster than he could have believed. Loyal friends were finding themselves indited. It was only because he'd made arrangements to protect himself he had any privileges left.

It was All Jade's fault. He'd felt pity for her, holding on longer than he should, and now he'd lost everything. Now he hated Jade so much more, thinking he should just have had her killed. He was a job creator, someone who mattered. He deserved better than this. It's not like he'd ever hurt anyone who mattered. They just hated him because he was successful. Killing Jade would end this stupid witch hunt, and let him get back to the business he'd been doing. He knew someone who could make that happen. It was almost Halloween, and he intended to celebrate her death for Thanksgiving.

Six weeks later, Richard Mathews would be in a maximum security prison facing charges for conspiracy to commit murder. His cellmate sold him out to the warden for almost nothing. A little forgiveness to stay at club Fed, and "the chance to put that child molester in a real prison." His presence in this drama ending with his sudden need to keep his part in the white slave trade secret. As a parting gift, his cell mate told him what happens in prison to men who rape little girls. He knew how much people suffered from repeated rape, and didn't want to be on the receiving end. This was where Richard disappeared from the story, at least for the next twenty years.

Jade would remain blissfully unaware of all that was transpiring. Instead, she was preparing for what to her would be the first happy Christmas in years. She was living in what, to an outsider, was a room about the same size as her last apartment. But other than the size of her private space, things couldn't be more different. First, she had a window with a view of a small courtyard. Next, Her room was one of just four rooms attached to an apartment in the THP plus program building/complex. Jade had three roommates who each had a small room like that, but all shared the bathroom, living room and kitchen as common areas. Jade still had her mini fridge and her toaster oven with warmer as her primary form of food storage and preparations, but she had access to the larger appliances in the kitchen. There was a laundry room for the building, but that was the same.

The biggest luxury to Jade was the bathroom. It was designed with two sinks outside the inner bathroom where the toilet and shower were. Jade could shower, or with advanced notice, take a bath. These, along with greater sink access, were luxuries Jade had not enjoyed in over a year and a half, not counting the time she was in the hospital. Her access to the TV and Blue Ray players were hardly used, except for the used copy of 'the scissoring' she got on line. Jade now had time to watch occasionally, and enjoyed the childhood pleasure of the horror film.

Financially she was doing far better than she had in a while. She was paying off her one and a half years of student debt, over forty thousand, slowly, as she could afford it. That took almost a third of her income, and it would probably not be done until after she graduated. Half of her income was set to be saved. It was policy for the program, but Jade had planned to save a lot as is. She needed her safety net for when things went wrong again. The rest went for food (beyond what was covered by her college food allotment), luxuries she decided to give herself, her cell phone, and saving for her scooter.

The restaurant was vastly different than the diner. In addition to the better tips, if for no other reason that the cost of everything there was at least twice what the diner charged, she had other perks. At the end of the evening, the staff was allowed to take food home. Jade usually brought home a half dozen meals per week, but only ate half of them. The others went to her roommates, so they each had one really good meal per week. The second thing was that Jade was judged on her abilities as a waitress. She could be nice when it was in her best interests, and she was smart enough to make almost no mistakes with the food and service. The results were that she was given all the shifts she needed to keep her income up, her class schedule was respected, and she made enough in tips to make up for having to be nice. All while dressing nicely but not in a demeaning uniform or showing off her body. Work for her was far better than it had ever been before.

Minimal expenses and a decent pay were giving her the problem of cash for things she wanted. Jade made a list, and while she was close to the scooter, she was also looking at a new computer, maybe a trip to Oakland during semester break to visit Ginny. Jade owed her former tormentor that much. Jade was making plans, and that worried her.

Christmas was coming, and Jade was looking forward to it for what could be the first time in her life. She'd taken extra courses this semester in order to "Catch up", even though she was ahead, and needed to step back for a week. Jade was looking forward to the break from classes to get some extra work done and maybe sleep in a couple of days. The biggest thing she was looking forward to was being by her self. Her roommates were great, better than anything she had previously experienced while in the system, but they didn't get her. Two were in community college, while the third was working. Jade was the only one doing both at nearly a full time schedule. But come Christmas break, they would be gone, back to visit their families. Jade would have her mother come and visit her on Christmas day, she still wanted someone in her family to love her, then work a shift at the restaurant. This would be as close to a family celebration as she'd had since she was sixteen. She had the money now to acquire that scooter she'd been dreaming off.

Her only real concern was some strange man had been showing up while she was at work, asking about her. When asked who he was, he just told them he was an old friend of Jade's. He was tall, good looking, and polite. Jade was at a loss as to who could be looking for her. She knew it couldn't be Beck. She'd called the police, but they just told her to relax. Hers was a secured building. Not that that had ever stopped anyone determined in the past. Jade was becoming paranoid about this stranger. She hoped to resolve this stalker issue before the Christmas break.

Then there was Tori. The singer had started calling her. It happened shortly after Jade upgraded from her pay as you go cellphone to a better plan with some extra's. Tori had one of her people look up Jade's number, and called her from the road. Ever since Thanksgiving, Jade got one call per week from Tori. For the first call, they just exchanged pleasantries. Eventually, they started talking. There was a lot they hadn't said, and it weighted on their conversations, but Tori's reaching out to her was something Jade couldn't refuse. Old question of a kiss lingered in her mind, along with the dangerous thoughts of "If only." Jade knew better than to get caught up in thoughts like that. Still, the reemergence of the Latina in her life had complicated thing. It started just before Thanksgiving with a call, strangely enough, from Luther.

Jade remembered the shot conversation. "Hello, who are you and why is your number blocked?" Jade felt some strange irony with that response, but said it any ways.

"My name is Luther Rucker. You may not remember me, but I delivered your pay check from the Vega video shoot. I'm calling to give you a heads up." Said the deep, male voice.

"Okay Mister Rucker, what's up?" Jade said, trying not to sound too annoyed. She'd thought her contact with the large man was done.

"First, call me Luther. Mister Rucker is the guy throwing jerks out. Second, I'm calling because, against my recommendations, Miss Vega wants to open communications with you. She has your phone number, and want's to start calling you, catching up on old times and such." he said.

"You're against this?" Jade asked, not really surprised.

"She doesn't need to know what you've been through. She needs to focus on the future. I figured, when you get there, the fame and all, you'd contact her." He sounded sincere, which worried her. He'd told her to stay away the last time they spoke, just before her birthday. This was a very different conversation, one she didn't want to get into.

"So what do you want, Luther? I could ignore her calls..." Jade started.

"So she can drop by your apartment unannounced? I'm sure your roommates would love to have a pop star just drop by, especially someone as famous as her, but you might not like the paparazzi covering the visit." he said.

"Wait, she knows where I live? I moved, I mean..." Jade started.

"She has money and contacts in the police. Of course she knows where you live. It became a priority to her last July. I suggest you just talk to her, call her Tori or whatever you used to call her, and let her feel like she's back in your life. It'll make her feel better, and hopefully this will pass in a few months." He told her. Jade remembered how the conversation just kinda ended there. They both said stuff, but Jade was left wondering just how much Tori knew, and what this Luther guy wanted from her. It was confusing. Moreover, why was she a priority in Tori's life Now, and not before? Jade didn't want to think about it, and when she started talking with the Latina, it left a hole in the conversations.

In the few weeks that followed, Tori had become a presence in Jade's life, if only by her weekly phone calls. There was a tension between them that went beyond Jade hiding her past. They would have to meet face to face, and Tori was going to be back for Christmas. Jade found she needed to think about anything else, just to avoid a panic attack, so she chose to think about the scooter she planned on buying after Christmas.

It was what she was doing that one day in December, two weeks before Christmas. She loved the feelings those thoughts gave her. The feeling of being free once again, of having the ability to just go places when she wanted to, was like a rush to her, and she almost didn't notice the strange car in the parking lot. Normally, Jade would ignore it. Many of the people living in the complex have friends visit and she didn't know all the possible guests, let alone the cars they might drive. This car, however, had her worried. She couldn't put her finger on why, but there was something about it that just stuck with her.

It hit her as she walked towards her door, she'd seen that car before. It was in a picture posted online, but she couldn't quite remember where. Too much on her mind, she figured. So when she walked to her door, her thoughts froze at the sight of the tall young man standing there chatting with one of her roommates, Aggie,. His name formed on her lips, and her mind screamed for her to run. 'Not now', she thought to herself. 'I'm not ready.' But her feet kept moving towards the door, and towards her brother, Max.

:}

FYI, while editing this, I added over a thousand words. Something is wrong with me.

So now we have Max back in her life. This is going to be fun.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (You're mostly past it, I think)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

It wasn't until November when Tori had the time to finally get in contact with the Privet investigator Luther had recommended. Tori's schedule had been far busier than she'd have liked, but the performances, the public appearances, everything she did was helping her improve her brand. It was what Tori needed to do at that point in her career to maintain and expand her fame. Mason Thornsmith made sure that she had every opportunity to make money was presented to her, from her consort tours to commercials in other countries. He was careful with her image, knowing that what U.S. Would label her a sellout for would be what would be seen as normal in many parts of the world. Mason didn't understand the U.S. Peoples aversion to their celebrities making money, and Tori made a lot of Money, both for herself and for her record label. It was the way Mason wanted it. Tori would be happy, and come back and continue to record for his label. That made him, if not happy, tolerable.

So by November, Tori was exhausted, facing another month of touring and appearances to go before she could rest. She had other things she wanted to do, like sleep in her own bed, or spend the weekend with her friends. But one priority, the one she'd been putting off for months, was finding Jade. So when she was staying in San Francisco while waiting for her next appearance, she finally had the opportunity to sit down with the Privet Investigator Luther had hired.

"Hi, nice to meet you, Mr?" Tori opened.

"Call me Liam. Or Mister Galway if we're being formal, but I think it's best if we keep this as lite as possible." he said. A tall, good looking man, Liam was used to his charm winning ladies to his cause. To Tori, it was old before he began.

"Well, Mister Galway, I believe you're going to tell me where I can find one Jade West?" She said in a curt, direct fashion.

"Right. Okay, it's like this. I'll tell you, but I've been asked to give you this first." He held out a dossier, and as Tori took it, he spoke again. "You have no Idea what she's been through."

"Raped by her stepfather, probably for years, and who knows what else that man did to her. Am I close?' Tori said. Luther would have been shocked at how much Tori knew. He didn't know that Tori had been there when he was finally arrested.

"You've got part of it, I suppose." He said, starting to read from his copy of the file. "You know some of the beginning. I suspect he started out just beating her. From there, sexual assaults over years, and then once she was out of that, she was accused of helping him rape several girls, leading to at least one murder. The charges were false, but that made her testimony suspect." Liam paused, making sure she was keeping up.

"After that, she was sent to the worst group home in the state, the one were they send the kids they've given up on. Suffered months of abuse before making a nearly successful attempt on her life. Not her first one at the home, just the most successful. While she was in the hospital, someone reported what the place was doing, and the home was closed for a laundry list of crimes. From there, Jade was transferred to another home on the Coast near here. Much better place. She did well there, and was emancipated withing months of arriving. Too quickly for my tastes, but what do I know. Anyways, then she graduated high school and was on her own. The system was functionally done with her" He continued.

"Her family didn't want her around, so she moved to the Santa Clareta area and started attending school there. For over a year, she worked and lived under the poverty level so she could attend school at Calarts, which I'm guessing was her goal. Last June, she was abducted from her apartment, and only the dumb luck of a wanna be boyfriend following her allowed the police to save her from being sold into slavery. She was sexually assaulted and Flogged until unconscious." He left details out, not wanting to cause trouble with her family.

"Since then she'd been back trying to get her education while piecing her life back together. The old charges against her were finally dropped, and with the help of Catholic Charities was able to get into assisted housing. The address as well as her current phone number are listed. I also got you details on her current place of employment, and what she's been doing at school." he finished. He liked being complete.

Tori was struck by how much Jade had endured. The file's she had were far more complete than what Mister Galway had said, and it painted a picture of a damaged girl who was moving forward based only on the dream that somehow fame would make it all worth it. Tori, sheltered as she was, knew more than one celebrate took their own life when fame and fortune didn't fill the void in their lives.

She checked her schedule, and realized that she wouldn't have time to visit Jade, not a proper visit, until Christmas at the earliest. Jade deserved more than a short hello before moving on to the next commitment, and Tori was looking forward to her next big commitment. The family was going to celebrate Thanksgiving in a rented cabin on Lake Tahoe, someplace nice where there would probably be snow. It was a gift she'd promised herself before the last set of tours took her around the world. The cabin, a five bedroom home with three master suites, would give them a chance to enjoy themselves as a family. Trina was coming from San Francisco, and Tori was looking forward to being with her family.

Still, Tori was going to start contact with the goth. She decided to call Jade first, opening the lines of communications. She hoped regular phone contact would help them reconnect. With everything the writer had been through, it might be a good idea to start slowly. Tori would call her weekly, and move towards a get together as they got closer.

But first, Tori needed to keep her promise. Her phone was in her hand, dialing a saved number she'd used sparingly since she got it months ago. After a few rings, Maxwell West answered. "It's not a good time. Can I call you back in a few minutes?"

"You know, girls hate it when you tell them that." Tori said. "Call me back when you can." She hoped he'd call her soon. She'd be making her appearance in a few hours, and be unable to answer her phone again until midnight. The apperance was good publicity, a fundraiser for the San Francisco Zoo, and Tori was going to enjoy her time there. She'd even gotten tickets for Trina and her date. 'Please let this guy be decent. Trina has worse luck with guys than I do.'

About half an hour later, Tori's phone rang. She checked the caller ID. She never answered the phone if she didn't know the ID. That was inviting trouble. Better to let it go to her voice mail, still using the generic response that came with the phone, and call back if it's someone she wants to talk to. She saw it was Max calling, and quickly answered.

"Hi Max, How's life? I didn't catch you doing something you weren't supposed to be doing, did I?" Tori smiled at the thought of the young man hiding his porn as she called.

"Actually, I was in a football team meeting. They don't like it when friends call during team events, and I couldn't tell the coach that it was some pop princess, so I had to call you back. So, did you find out anything new about Jade?" Max sounded hopeful. Tori felt her heart break, just a little. How could she tell this happy young man that his sister lived through hell while he had a happy childhood? She decided it wasn't her story to tell, feeling dirty just knowing so much about the goth.

"So what position do you play?" Tori asked, trying to make light conversation.

"Do you have any news about Jade?" He repeated. "I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I'm desperate to know anything? So what do you have? Does anyone even know if she's in California?"

"I know. I've got more than just news, I've got her address, and her phone number." Tori said.

Max was speechless. It was more than he had hoped for. After a few seconds, he forced himself to ask the questions that flooded his mind. "Where is she? Whats she been up to? Is she still in LA? My god, tell me that I'm going to see my sister again!"

"Hold up there, tiger. I'll email you the details, but you need to calm down. Jade's been through a lot, and might not be ready for you to flood her with questions. Call her, let her know you're interested in seeing her, and then arrange a visit. I'll send you her address, but it's for planning purposes only." Tori said, and they said their goodby's and hung up so she could send the information. She had to admit, she wanted to just go to Jade's apartment and talk to the girl. Maybe hug her, and from there, who knows what they would do next. Tori stopped her train of though with their cloths still on. She looked at the recent picture of Jade in the dossier, working at some nice restaurant, and noted that Jade still looked good. 'Bad Tori. We don't think those thoughts about our friends. Except Beck, and that was years ago. And we know how that turned out.' She mentally scolded herself.

Now, weeks later, Jade found herself face to face with Max. She had no idea he knew where she lived, or that he wasn't going to risk her not answering her phone. He'd dropped by a couple of times after school, but this was the first time he caught her at home. Aggie was flirting, a bad habit the girl did when she saw some guy she liked, but he ignored the girl. He was all business.

"Jade? My god, it is you. I didn't recognize you without the hair dye. The brown looks good on you..." Max started, his voice fading towards the end.

"NO!" Jade said, voice loud but not screaming, while walking past her roommate and into the apartment.

"Why not?' she heard him ask. He was still at the door, Aggie had put herself between the young man and the door.

"Because Dad asked me not to talk to you. He said, if I loved you, I'd let you go. I've held my part of the bargain." Jade was hurting, tears starting to flow down her cheeks. Then she started to scream. "FOR SEVEN FUCKING YEARS, I'VE KEPT MY DISTANCE. I'VE GIVEN UP SO MUCH SO YOU CAN HAVE A CHANCE TO BE SOMETHING, AND I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU RUIN IT." Jade was starting to cry harder, and Aggie let Max walk into the apartment to hug his sister. "I've been through so much, I'm no good for you. Keep away before I hurt you too." Jade was saying through the tears, her voice drowned out by her sorrow. She tried to push him off, but didn't have enough strength left for him to notice.

It took her almost ten minutes to recover, held by her brothers strong arms. The boy had grown into an impressive young man, and he wasn't going to walk away yet. Jade had hinted at things he didn't know. Max West was going to find out why she'd never tried to contact him. He needed answers.

Jade's thoughts started moving quickly as she recovered, and she decided to get her answers first. "How did you get here? You're fifteen." the nineteen year old goth asked.

"I'm on the football team. I've got teammates who can drive. I'm also into Auto shop. I rebuilt a car, and my teammates sometimes drive me places in it. One guy likes to hang out here and flirt with the college chicks, so he's usually more than willing to drive." He smiled at her, then his smile faded. "So dad told you to stay away? Were you really that bad?" He asked. He was still sitting on the floor of her apartment, holding her like she would fade if he let her go for a second.

"It's to do with the whole Richard thing. He didn't want you getting dragged into the middle of it. I understand, I was bad news at the time. You know, if you let me go, we can sit on the couch." Jade said. He helped her up and they sat down on the couch, along with Aggie and the rest of her roommates. "Guys, a little privacy?" They didn't move. "Maybe we should sit in my room." Jade said.

Max and Jade went into her room, and he noticing how small it was. They sat down, Jade on her bed while Max sat on her chair. "So what was all that about Richard? Dad says he was a good, hard working man who got caught up in stuff while trying to pay for you to go to that school of yours. Is that true?"

"Dad was fooled. Richard made my life a living hell. I was, in turn, neglected, abused, and molest..." Jade looked into her brothers eyes, and she just stopped. Fear reflected in her reddened eyes, the feeling making her want to run before he found out anything more.

"So he was a bad man. How come mom stayed with him? Why did Dad just leave you to him if he was such a bad man?" Max was feeling angry, and Jade was the target for the moment. He didn't know what was going on back then, and her story was so different than everything he'd been told.

"You mustn't blame them. They were doing the best they could, for you and for me." Jade said, knowing it was a lie. It was okay, though. The best thing for Max was keeping Jade away. It hurt, losing her brother, but she wanted only the best for him. Now wasn't the time for the truth. 'The truth can only hurt.' she thought. It was okay to blame Richard, he was in jail, but not her parents.

"Why didn't you tell me? I mean, I could have helped." Max asked.

"Because I honestly believed that Richard was untouchable, and I would die before I turned eighteen. I thought it would be better for you if you were less attached. I mean, everyone loved you, so you'd be taken care of." Jade started. She stopped herself before the self pity got thick and blocked her responsibility here. She had to protect her parents. Max could never know what she went through.

"My god, don't you ever tell the truth? I'm not going to sit here and be lied to." Max was angry now, and he got up, and in a rage, he stormed out of the building, It hurt Jade, but she kept telling herself it was for the best. A little pain now and Max wouldn't be back again. He'd have the good life he deserved, and Jade could just disappear.

Except she couldn't. She'd promised Ginny. She had millions of kids in the system that needed her as their spokesperson, showing that there was a way top make their dreams come true. She needed to become the spokesperson for group Home charities, inspiring people to give to their local group homes and help the kids have as close to a normal life as possible. Jade couldn't disappear, but she couldn't make her life public, not if Max was going to find out that their parents lied to him. Jade just sat in her room, trying to figure out her next step. She felt like the deal she'd made with Ginny was tying her hands. Too many others who needed to be protected. However, events were taking that worry out of her hands, while her own schedule keeping her too busy to worry about what to tell her baby brother.

Max West wasn't done seeking answers. The next day, after school, he talked Charlie Ross, a cheerleader he knew who was also on the school papar, in to driving them both to the Hollywood Police station. He knew Charlie had a crush on him, so it was easy to convince the girl to help out. They used her position on the school paper as an excuse to gain access to pubic police records, and found out everything they could about Richard Mathews. There wasn't much. Convicted of rape, murder, and over one hundred counts of molesting a minor. The arresting officer was listed as David Vega. Tori was a Vega, and Jade's high school friend. It seemed too much of a coincidence. Needing to know more, they asked if they could talk to officer Vega.

David Vega was at his desk, doing paperwork. The massive conspiracy he and Gary had been following up on were winding down, but still leading to some interesting investigations. Once the forensics team had finished recovering the data, the slaver's hard drive had all kinds of information, and his phone records had helped find some one hundred or so missing girls. The private slavery trade usually stayed secret, and since the slaver needed to be able to run background checks on people before inviting them to an auction, there was a lot of information. No one had told the slavers how hard it was to make that data unrecoverable.

For their work, both officers received commendations, and David Vega received a promotion. He was now a lieutenant. Officer Vega was happy in his new role, liaising between the Metro unit and the public relations unit. He was still a part of a lot of investigations, but he had more free time and was enjoying the various parts of his job. He could, on any given day, be doing almost anything police related. Gary had also been promoted, but was attached to the local division as a squad officer. They were still on special assignment working together to finish up the investigations around Richard Mathews, but by now it was almost down to the court dates. There were a lot of court dates.

Max had turned on his charm and talked his way into a meeting, and soon found himself sitting in the office of lieutenant Vega. He waited for the police officer to sit down before asking his questions. "Tell me about Richard Mathews." Max said. His heart was beating hard in his chest as he worried. No matter what the police officer said, someone he loved was going to be made a liar. The darkest parts of his mind hoped it was Jade. It would be so much easier.

"This is for a story for your school paper? I'm not surprised. It was a major incident. How much do you know?" David asked.

"I know most of it, but I need confirmation. Just what you can tell me." Max said. One of the reasons Charlie came along was to use her credentials. He wanted to avoid giving his last name if possible. He'd hoped to avoid letting this man, or anyone they might talk to, know he was related to Jade, in case the they tried to protect her.

"We're not allowed to give out much on these kinds of cases. You tell me what you know and I'll tell you if you're close or not." David said. The investigations around Richard Mathews were almost complete, but it didn't do to give away information that might help some of his accomplishes escape future justice. Also, he hated when reporters were lazy. Good thing he already knew what they were after.

"So far what I have is that Mister Mathews was convicted of the abduction, rape and murder of a twenty year old woman, as well as being involved in the rape of three other young women. He also plead guilty to molesting his step daughter over one hundred times. I'm assuming it wasn't over one night." Max felt sick to his stomach just making the joke, but the air was getting hard to breath, and he'd hoped the joke would make everything seem casual.

"I really don't want to comment on the case, but the number was a low ball estimate. He'd been systemically abusing and raping the girl for almost five years. Does that clear things up for you, Mister West?" David said. Max froze. His body would not move. Officer Vega turned to the girl. "I think you're part in this is over." Charlene's eyes were suddenly full of fear. "What you've heard here, it's just between us, okay? Your boyfriend is going to stick around so we can talk about it. I'll give him a ride if you don't want to wait, but Mister West and I need to talk this out." She seemed to hear Officer Vega, because at those words she practically fell over herself getting out of the his office.

"What gave me away?" Max asked.

"I've seen you're picture. We've been looking into every possible connection to what happened to Jade last June, and naturally your family had to be looked into. Your father talked to us. He had no idea what had happened, and seemed just as happy to keep it that way." Officer Vega said.

"Wait, what happened last June?" Max asked.

"I'm afraid that's between you and Jade. You came here to find out what Mister Mathews did to her, so I've confirmed what our reports said. Do you really think that's all he did?" David Vega asked.

"But what did you take her word. I mean, I know she seems like a victim, and I do think bad things happened to her, but she had to do something to make it happen." Max knew he was wrong, but the need to protect his parents drove him to speak. Faith in them died hard.

"Max, I don't know what your parents said to you, but we had recovered video evidence of a sexual assault, as well as a mountain of evidence that suggested he'd been doing it for years. We had over a dozen officers who saw the end of his last assault on Jade. This was an open and shut case. It was the other allegations, the ones he made against Jade, that took years to clear up." David watched the boy. He was stunned. His world was crashing down around him, and he had no idea what to think any more. Max tried to speak, but his mouth wouldn't form words.

"We've recently reopened the investigation into Jade's activities during that time, and found she had nothing to do with any of the charges he had made against her. He was trying to destroy her credibility as a witness. And Max, if you really want to know more about her, everything she's tried to hide from you, you're going to have to talk to her. However, I think you know enough. Now it's more important that you decide what kind of relationship you want with her, and work on that." Officer Vega was watching the boy. It would take time, but they had a chance. However, Max had to come to terms with what Jade had been through, and that wouldn't be easy.

Max was starting to get mad. He was mad at his father, Henry West, for just abandoning her to that monster. He was mad at his mother, Miranda West, for standing by and protecting the beast who hurt his sister. Mostly, however, he was angry with himself. He knew something was wrong, that Jade wasn't the demon that his parents so easily portrayed he to be. But then, when she tried to tell him what happened, he refused to believe her. He was angry for not protecting her when she'd protected him. Tears rolled down his cheeks, as he finally understood why she never called.

She wasn't allowed to call him. She'd told him, their father had asked her to keep her distance. Each time her world fell apart, she had to resist calling out to him, to make sure she didn't drag him down. By the time her life was going good, she was so far removed from him. She must think he hates her. That caused another pain in his chest. His sister was lost to him, and his own parents let it happen. If he hadn't gone looking, seeking out Tori Vega to get some information, he'd have never seen her again.

Max cried in the office, held by the stranger who'd held his sister twice when her world was falling apart. Max would need time to find his balance, to accept that his parents honestly believed they were doing the best thing for him, and to forgive them for taking away his sister. Over an hour later, Charlie drove them towards his home. Max knew he had to make an effort to reconnect with Jade, to help pay for their parents abandoning her when she needed them the most. It was a big task, probably more than he could do, but he felt someone owed Jade something, and he was going to try to help her.

Tori was stunned when Jade called her. It was usually Tori who called. Of course, Jade had put Tori's number on her friends and family plan. Tori liked to talk. Today Jade, however, was breathing fire.

"Okay, I understand you're interested in my life, but did you have to tell Max where I lived?" Jade screamed into her phone.

"Wait, what? Jade, calm down. Just tell me why your screaming at me?" Tori tried to stay calm. 'The boy should have called her first. Why doesn't anyone do what I tell them? Maybe it's a West thing?' Tori though to herself.

"Admit it. It had to be you. No one in my family would have told him, and no one else knows both where I live and how to contact him. But your guy, Luther I think, he told me you had the resources to find me, so you could have found him to. You're the only one who could have." Jade was almost ranting.

"So Mason is off the list? He did ask about you on your birthday.' Tori said flatly. She hoped it would calm Jade down.

"Don't try and push this off on Wait, what?" Jade stammered, her chain of though broken.

"Mason likes you, or liked you. It's been a couple of years. Still, he respected the way you pushed me into the spotlight at the Platinum Music Awards. He's been involved in every step I've taken to find you. He even recommended the P.I." Tori was careful. One wrong word, and Jade would explode again. "I'm not saying it was him, I'm just saying that you've left strong impressions on a lot of people, and some of them worry about you."

"I still think this is your doing. It has the whole Vega good intentions stink on it." Jade huffed. "But I'm willing to drop it, for now. So, where are you?" She decided to go with the safe questions for now. She'd find out, in time. Besides, she wanted to know more about these people who worried about her.

"Not this time. Jade, we can talk about that later, during our regularly scheduled conversation. Now, you open up. Tell me why your brother visiting was such a bad thing." Tori said.

All she got back was the sound of her call disconnecting.

:}

Got my first negative review. ":just plain bad". It was anonymous, and I could have deleted it, but honestly I wondered what was bad. If you've already read 9 chapters in, then what didn't you like? Of course, I have my own vision of where this is going. Still, Lets hope it was about my comment at the end of chapter 9.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (I hope to be past the worst of it.)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Jade was wazzed off. 'How could she.' echoed through her mind. Jade knew that Tori was trying to help. She was always trying to help. Why else did Jade go to her when she needed to get Beck back the first time. In a small way, Jade was grateful that the Pop star cared enough to try and help her. But the frustration she felt at having her brother show up unexpectedly, confirming her fears that he'd hate her, needed an outlet and for now, Tori was it.

That brought on the guilt. Jade wasn't used to people caring about her. Tori only wanted to help. Jade knew that much. So her anger was focused on the wrong person, and her guilt about it intensified the feelings of frustration that led to the anger.

For the first time, Jade felt that maybe, she understood what her parents were feeling, on a truly emotional level. That the guilt was so dense and dark that hating the one you loved became easy. It wasn't that her parents didn't love her. They just allowed her to be the focal point of their frustration, and the guilt they must have felt over it caused them to face a choice. If they admitted to the guilt, it made them bad people. But to ignore the guilt, deny it's existence, then they had to have an outlet for their internal conflict. Jade was the outlet. They had to keep blaming her, even after Richard, or they would feel worse. In the end, it was the best thing for them to do, if only to spare Maxwell from the same experience. The pain of understanding was still pain, an emotion Jade was far too familiar with. The anger, however, was still there.

Jade danced from one emotion to another, feeling like chiz over what she'd been feeling. Then there was another dark specter that hid deep in her conscious, her memory of kissing Tori Vega. Just outside of her awareness, those memories had returned. Each call from the singer drew those memories just a touch more towards her conscious thoughts, drawing out the confusing feelings she used to have. It was a dangerous thing for the girl who had avoided any type of romantic entanglements for the last three years.

Jade didn't have much time to ponder her feelings. She was busy, working, studying, and just trying to make her life happen. Of course, emotions and the thoughts that come with them don't just stop, and just under her conscious thoughts, they kept circling, building, adding pressure until something broke.

It took her four days for the frustration to break down. Naturally, it was during therapy, Jade admitted to everything that happened then broke down. Once the let herself go and screamed it out, Doctor Bowers talked her through it and helped her process. Jade had been in therapy for a while now, and some things could be dealt with more quickly than others. The whole session was dedicated to constructive venting, followed by forgiveness. Jade forgave her mother, her father and Tori all in the same breath.

Doctor Bowers knew that Jade only really let go of some of her pain, but it was still important. Jade would never completely let go of her past, but each piece she did would make that which remained easier to carry. The most important part was Jade forgave Tori, letting go of her frustration and a small portion of the guilt that built up for the damaged girl.

Jade made it home after therapy, again thinking about how much easier life would be once she had her scooter. Riding the buss was a bitch, and while she bought a bike three months ago, the scooter would be both safer and give her more freedom. The bike took less time than the bus, only because the bus schedule was pretty broken up and Jade could ride her bike at any time. The bike had become her main method of going to and from school. Thinking about how much better her life would be with a scooter didn't have the feelings of joy it used to have for her, however. Her mind too caught up on other problems to focus on feeling good about her next planned purchase.

Jade walked into her apartment to find Aggie and Sophie talking to Max and some guy she didn't recognize. Jade stood there, trying not to hope for anything as joy and fear spun together like a tornado in her heart. Barely above a whisper, she uttered one word. "Max?"

"We need to talk." Max said. He sounded serious and just a little distant. His eyes were looking past her, not able to look her in the eye just yet.

"Okay, Talk." Jade felt this was a private conversation, but was too scared to move it into her room. She'd had enough heartbreak for one week.

"Not here. You still have your license?" The younger West asked.

"Yea, I keep it up to date. Sometimes one of my friends lets me drive. Why?" Jade thought she knew where this was going. Ty had been the one to take her to her last drivers test when it was time for her to renew her licence. He'd let her drive his car as a reward. Now, she was waiting to see what Max wanted, and fearful it would involve that car he kept talking about.

"I'm still on my learners permit, and I need a licensed driver over eighteen in the car. You fit, so lets go for a drive." Addressing the other guy. "Dave, could you stay here for a bit? I'll be back soon." Max looked at Dave, a powerfully built young man with an easy smile. The big guy just nodded his approval and got back to flirting with Jade's roommates.

Jade and Max walked to his car, a restored cherry red 1995 Ford Mustang convertible. Jade didn't care much about the vehicle, but knew a muscle car when she saw one. She didn't get much of a chance to admire it. As they got in, she noticed her brother couldn't look at her for more than a few seconds at a time. Obviously, the drive was to give him something to do while they talked. They were soon on the road, and it wasn't until they were on the freeway that Max was able to start talking.

"He raped you, over and over, for years." Max had so much venom in his voice. The young man didn't need that kind of hate. All Jade could do was react, answering her brothers question.

"He beat me first, from when I was eight. And he wouldn't feed me, made pay for my own food. I got good at busking just to eat. It beat begging." Jade said it so neutrally, as if reading from a book. Inside she was thinking 'He knows. My god, how much does he know.' She could have denied it, but somehow he'd found out, and it felt like the time for lies was over. Besides, she knew that the truth could help them come together, as long as it stayed away from certain subjects.

"How could mom let this happen? How could Dad not notice?" Max said, his voice breaking, the anger replaced by anguish. "I mean, they had to know.."

"How could they?" Jade snapped. Her own voice breaking his questions with an echoing urgency. "There was no way they could. Look, Max, I don't know if it's true or not, but I'm choosing to believe that they didn't know. Not that there weren't clues, but that, in order to be good people and care for you, they had to choose to ignore those clues. And they had to pretend that what they were doing was the best for me as well." Her brother wanted to speak, to scream at her that this wasn't right, but instead chose to focus on driving. He was grateful for the distraction, as he squeezed the steering wheel tight

After five minutes of silence, Jade continued. "He hurt her. Mom. Richard would hurt her if I didn't follow his rules. It's one o the reasons I couldn't tell anyone. When I tried, he'd hurt her. He was such a monster..." Jade tried not to cry. She failed, and Max continued to drive, to ignore the anger that was welling up inside him.

After another few minutes, after Jade had regained her composure, Max moved to to speak again, but Jade quickly cut him off. "You need to understand, for whatever reason, they couldn't be there for both of us. One of us had to take the blame. I think it was easier for them to have you as their golden child. Lord knows if I had to chose, I'd have done anything to spare you even the first four years I had with Richard."

"Why? I could have taken it? You didn't need to suffer..." Max said, his words again cut short by his sister.

"Because I'm your big sister. I was already damaged by that point. There was no need for both of us to suffer. Besides, I love you. I wasn't going to let anyone, any thing hurt you." Jade said sharply, her voice drifting towards pleading. "If I didn't have people telling me otherwise, I'd keep you away now, just because I'm worried that I still might hurt you." Inside, she continued, words she didn't want her brother to ever hear her say. 'It's all I'm good for now.'

It took Max another few minutes to digest what Jade had just said. He let the silence take them, only talking to ask little questions about what she went through. As they talked, Jade giving small accounts of how Richard controlled her, and Max continued to process everything his sister was telling him. Jade was shy on details, still wanting to spare Max as much as she could.

Jade had long ago realized they were going somewhere, but was afraid to ask. Max was hurting, and he needed closure on this new wound to his childhood. Finally, he pulled to a stop in front of a house Jade knew so well, but hadn't visited since she was fourteen. Even in the dark, after all these years, she'd recognized the neighborhood. Disbelief had kept her from objecting until they were there.

"We can't do this." She said, her voice once again neutral. Max finally looked at her. His eyes were hard, but the tenderness under them told jade what he was feeling. His anger was back, mixed with pity and just a touch of love.

"He's going to explain to me why he cut you out of my life!" Max said.

"I told you. He cut me out because he wanted to protect you." Jade shot back. "Maybe he didn't want to believe me when I told him what a monster Richard was, and maybe he couldn't."

"You told him, and he still sent you back?" Max almost screamed.

Jade just forced the words through. "It dosen't matter why he did what he did. He could see I was damaged. He didn't know what to do. If he believed me, what I told him, then he was wrong about Richard. That was not a choice I was ever going to win. You see, It's how con men work. They make you have to choose between your pride and the truth, and the truth often looks suspect before they're done. Richard was very good at making people like him. I was Dad's bad child. Who do you think he was going to believe."

Max looked at her with such disbelief on his face. "So that's it? You're going to just let him go on believing you're responsible? Jade, he's our father. He needs to know the truth." Max almost shook from the frustration.

"Not this way. If he's ever ready, he'll come to me. Mom knows where I am, so he can just ask her. I'll make time to see him, but not if he's just going to continue blaming me." Jade said almost coldly.

"But it's stupid for him to keep blaming you..." Max was once again cut off.

"It's stupid for people to pretend that science is wrong, but so many do just because it's easier than admitting that they were wrong." Jade said. "Max, Dads a proud man. It won't be easy for him. Later, once I make something of myself, then maybe we can find some kind of closure to our problems, but it will have to wait until I've change how I live. Changed a lot of things. I need some success before I see him again.. He'll have to be able to see that I'm no longer the problem child he believed I was. And I need to be in a place where his rejection won't hurt me any more. I know, if he dies or something, then I'll miss out, but there is no way he's ready to have a relationship with me. I'm not that hard for him to find, so I know he's not ready."

Max looked at his sister, frustration still evident on his face. "So now what?" He asked.

"I give you my email, and you friend me on Spashface. We get back in contact. Mom will be visiting me Christmas Day, so you could come by as well. I just need to be at work by five." Jade smiled, trying to offer the olive branch. "For now, take me home. Let your friend Dave get away from my roommates, and lets just focus on fixing our relationship. Your almost sixteen, you're bound to have secrets from Mom and Dad. I guess I'll be one of them."

"I don't want my secret relationship with a girl to be email with my sister." He said, but let go of the push to have her confront their father. It was going to happen, sooner or later, and she would do better if she was living on her own, instead of off assistance.

Max started the car and they drove back to her apartment. He didn't like it, but knew Jade wasn't going to back him up in confronting his parents. Not today. So he drove her home. Along the way, Jade asked about his school, his girlfriend, and other basic things she so wanted to know. Max in turn asked her about her life. About half way through the ride, Jade asked a strange question. "So Max, how did you find me?"

"As you said, you're not that hard to find." Max said. He felt nervous, suddenly worried that his sister might find out about who he asked for help. He suspected that wasn't a subject he wanted to cover right now.

"It's easy for mom and dad. They can find me until I'm twenty five, or I go off Dads insurance. Since I take it neither of them spoke about me, that leaves the question, how did you find me?" Jade asked again.

"What happened last June?" Max responded. Jade looked just a bit shocked. A second later, she almost paled.

"You're avoiding the question." Jade said.

"When I looked up Mister Mathews arrest record, I found out that something happened to you last June. If you want information, you give some. What happened?" Max asked again.

"Did Tori tell you about that? God, that girl just can't keep anything to herself. Max, it was just Richards friends trying to finish what he started. It's okay, the police found me before they hurt me too much. I'm in therapy, and I'm fine." Jade blurted, almost trying to gloss it over. Max pulled the car off at the next off-ramp and found a parking lot to pull over.

"I talked to the arresting officer from when Richard was first stopped. He let slip that something happened last June, but not what. So tell me, or you'll never know how I found you. Besides, you know I'll find out sooner or later." Max held his ground, hoping Jade wouldn't just call a friend to come and get her. A lot of what he was doing was bluffing, but he needed one victory today.

"I was abducted by slavers who tried to break me. I was raped and flogged. It was bad, but someone saw and followed us, so the police were able to get the men responsible. I was still in therapy from everything that I've endured from before, so I continued to see my therapist and added this shit to my list of things to try and recover from. It's just another part of the fucked up whole, the life I've had upto now. Now how did you contact Tori?" Jade said the last part like he didn't have a choice.

"Wait, what? Raped and Flogged? Like a whip? God, are you all right? How bad are the scars? Maybe some surgery can hide them, help you forget." Max rambled.

"I'm over it." Jade said, even as inside she knew that was a lie. "Now tell me how you contacted Tori?"

Max considered lying, he considered not telling her, but in the end, thought better of it. He mad another demand. "So how is it you're letting Mom and Dad off the hook so easily? I'd be pissed. Does it have to do with therapy?"

Jade pulled her cell phone out, and hit a couple of buttons. Her phone rang as she put it on speaker phone. Max sat there in the car, confused as to whom she could be calling.

"Jade? Hello? My god, do you have any Idea what time it is here?" Tori's voice carried through the car.

"Lets see, its about nine thirty here, so it's what? Ten AM over there?" She said, smirking.

"Try six thirty in the morning. God Jade, stick to our schedule please. It takes the nine hour time difference into account." Tori sounded frazzled, but not too upset. "So what required you to call at this ungodly hour? And why am I on speaker phone?" She'd heard the distant sound when Jade spoke, a dead giveaway about being on speaker phone.

"I need to know how you got into contact with Max?" Jade asked.

"Again? I told you, I had nothing to do with..." Tori started. Unfortunately, Max also started speaking.

"You have her on speed dial? I thought we were supposed to keep this number secret?" Max didn't hear Tori deny everything.

"Did you hear that Tori? Max just admitted everything." Jade said triumphantly. Of course, Tori didn't hear. Far too many cell phones can't hear while the user is talking.

"He did? He's with you? Does that mean you've made up? My god Jade, that's wonderful. I'm so happy for you. This means you'll be able to spend Christmas with your family and maybe put all the chiz you've been through behind you." Tori sounded genuinely excited.

Jade ignored her, focusing on her brother. "Okay, how did you contact her?"

"How can you just let go of what mom and dad did to you? Even with everything you've told me, I still don't know why you're not pissed." Max said.

"This sounds like a private, West family moment. I'm going to go back to sleep." Tori said.

"Don't you dare hang up. I want answers. I know you were the one to get my contact info, but why did you tell Max?" Jade asked. She was getting frustrated, and Tori knew she was bound to do things everyone would regret if she got too angry.

"If you want to know, tell me how you can let Mom and dad off the hook so easily?" Max said again.

"Just tell him so I can get to sleep." Tori whined.

"I didn't do it for them. I read somewhere that holding a grudge was bad for you. So I strive to forgive and move on as soon as I can." Jade turned to the phone "Yes, Vega, I've learned to forgive. I think I always wanted to let chiz go. That's why I was so big on revenge. If you recall, after I got my revenge, life could go back to normal. Just look at how Cart and I used to be. If I held a grudge, we'd never have been friends." Jade said, feeling exasperated. "Your turn." She shot back towards Max. He scrambled for another delay.

"Last June, at the Hollywood Arts fundraiser, I was signing autographs to help raise money, and he introduced himself." Tori started to explain. "He asked my help in finding you. It's sorta how the ball got rolling. I'd been busy, so when the video incident happened in July, I hadn't had a chance to find you yet. It took until November for me to get everything, including a brief description of what you've been through." Tori's voice changed, sounding somber. "Please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you. I know you just wanted to help. It's okay. Everything worked out fine." Jade sounded defeated, tired. She knew all her anger and worry had been like a weight, and now that it was off her, all she could feel was the exhaustion from carrying it. She just wanted to go home and rest. "By Vega, get some rest. A lot of teenage boys will be abusing themselves to your poster tonight." With that, Jade ended the call before Tori could give a retort.

Max would later chuckle at the statement, but he was too drained from the whole evening to do much more than drive. He took his sister home, picking up his friend who would dive back to Hollywood for the evening. Jade hugged Max, exchanged information, and said her goodbys. The girls had made good use of the burly boy, and now every room in the complex that needed something moved had been rearranged. But it was time to get rid of Dave. He was still a boy, and they wanted men.

That evening, lying awake waiting for slumber to take her, she reviewed how her day went. Max was back in her life, Tori was becoming a friend again, and she only woke up with nightmares about being a slave or raped once a week now. Things were definitely improving. Jade even allowed herself to be excited about Christmas again, but now for more than just the expected scooter she was going to buy. Her mind was at ease for the moment, and she was happy. Inside, she cringed. Bad things always happened when she allowed herself to be happy.

Miles away, Tori was wazzed off. She hadn't been able to get back to sleep. She instead got up and got ready for the drive to her next destination. It was still early, but she took her shower anyways, inwardly fuming at Jade's closing comment. In an act of revenge, Tori started touching herself in the shower. She'd meant it to be in defiance of Jade's comment, but instead she used her extra time and a longer shower to slowly move herself towards release. It would feel so good to just let the tension of the tour go for a moment, lost in the warmth of the shower and her fantacy. Images of Jade danced in her head as she climaxed.

Swimming in the pleasure of release, a single thought pushed through her mind, a thought that described her emerging mood. 'Shit'

:}

Hints of Jori danced through their heads.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (You're mostly past it, I think)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Jade's Christmas was good. By the standards of her last two years, it was amazing. She hadn't had this good a Christmas since she was sixteen and Cat got her the scissors from 'the Scissoring'. Jade took a moment to morn the loss of that treasured item, but she had other things to focus on.

The exchange of gifts was, as always, unequal. Richard frowned on giving Jade extravagant gifts, so she often had to spend what little she could gather to have the nice things people assumed Richard bought for her. Henry used to give her gift cards, so she had nice cloths for school. One of the reasons she gave bad gifts was economics. That was the biggest hurdle of being with Beck. He had no idea how little Jade often had. She made damn sure he never found out.

Jade got gifts for her roommates, for her parents and for Max. Unlike the last year, her gifts to her family didn't travel by post, instead she handed them off to her mother during their visit on Christmas day. She'd done well this year, giving her parents each recordings of her original music, as well as some scarves she found at a flee market. For Max, Ty was able to get her a signed jersey from the L.A. Kings. One of their projects had put them in contact with Max's favorite player, and Jade took the chance to get the special gift. It cost, but not as much as she thought it would. Her roommates each got a gift card for the local mall.

Jade received gifts from her mother, her roommates, and Max. Her mother got her a gift card for the local mall, worth as much as she spent on all three of her roommates. Guilt can make some people generous. From her roommates, she got scissors. Lots of scissors. Nice and not so nice scissors. Jade's love of cutting things was put to the test, but she loved it anyways.

It was Max who threw the curve off the most. His gift was, as soon as he could, he would put together a car for her. He'd found a used car that was cheep, not working in the least. He only had to do major work on it to get it running again. He'd contacted his school, and had arranged for them to use it for their auto shop class, so the work would be done for free, and the parts were either covered or weren't that expensive. Also, he was in the advanced class, so he'd be working on the car for at least a semester. Not only would the car cost more than anything Jade had given, it would be had crafted by her brother. It was an over the top gift, Max's way of saying sorry for being the loved one of the two.

Jade bought her used 2008 scooter, and was so proud of it. She found a good deal on a 125CC ZNEN scooter. It got great mileage, and could top out at over sixty MPH, but wasn't freeway legal. Jade loved it. She was soon zipping around Santa Clareta and the neighboring areas. The effect it had on her time was also astonishing. Without waiting for the bus, or struggling to get her bike across town, she saved hours each week. It was a strange feeling, suddenly being able to just go when she wanted to. Her school charged her for a parking permit, but it was covered by the state scholastic fund that she was using. Money that was being saved for the scooter could now be saved for gas. Her biggest fear again was how much she seemed to be enjoying life. She knew that once she was happy, her life was sure to fall apart.

The new year brought new challenges, new opportunities, and new complications to her life. The biggest was time. Up until that time, since the day she was sent away, Jade didn't spend too much time being social. Her friends were people she worked with or people she studied with. If they weren't a part of her life otherwise, she didn't have the time for them. Now, with her family back in the mix, she had to start putting time aside to spend with them. She could sneak away to Northridge to catch a football game, or to some coffee shop to video chat, but her family had their own schedules and matching up often caused problems. Jade's limited movement was also a problem, often they wanted her to come to them. Jade had drawn the line at Hollywood. She would go no further than Northridge. It was a strain, but they managed to work around it.

Then there was Tori Vega. They had continued their phone contact, adding video chat as time went on. Tori was the problem she hadn't counted on. They would never chat in a coffee shop or other open venue. Often Jade would arrange to be in a library with Wifi, so she could be in some back corner wearing headphones when they chatted. Over the weeks they got closer, and while they somehow avoided direct contact, they both knew it was inevitable.

February was D-day for their friendship. After two months of weekly phone chats morphing into video chats, they were both ready to face one another. Of course, Tori was always working, and was recording her second album in New York. The time difference wasn't so bad, but the chats weren't enough anymore. Both of them felt that they would have to face one another to work out whatever lingering feelings were still in their hearts.

It was close to the fourteenth, Valentines day, when Tori started the video chat looking unusually made up. The whole time recording her album, she hadn't bothered to look her best. She preferred to dress comfortably, keeping relaxed as she wrote and produced her music. Her band was used to this relaxed approach, as well as the frequent visits from Andre. The recording was scheduled to go on until June, so Tori wasn't in any hurry to record anything but the best of her songs. The process was coming along, and Jade loved hearing about it. It was real, without the money and fame and everything else that mucked up their lives. So on this day, Jade was in her library looking forward to hearing stories from the studio, and maybe get some ideas for her own (Theoretical) album. She noted Tori's appearance, but wrote it off as Tori getting ready for an industry meeting or public apperance.

"So Jade, you still don't say much about your life. Anything new or fun to talk about?" Tori asked.

"Nope, same old same old." Jade said. "Will Andre be there for Spring Break? I think he'd enjoy a week in the Big Apple." She was smiling. It was nice to do this, just chat with an old friend.

"Yea, he's coming. Beck offered to show him around while he's here." Tori said.

"Are the rumors true? Is Beck Oliver the cure for the Vega slump? Tell me, I need to know before the paparazzi distort everything. Are you and Beck back together?" Jade was smiling. She'd worked hard to let go of all the hurt and feelings of betrayal, and knew that Beck was a great guy. Tori needed a stand up guy to date.

"He's just a friend. Honestly Jade, if I had to date him, I'd be as whacked out as you used to be. How did you last so long?" Tori was smiling, but the joke seemed forced.

"I was hyper jealous and very pissed off. How do you think I did it?" Jade said.

"That does bring up a question...Whens the last time you went on a date?" Tori asked.

"Tori, relax, I'm okay. I just don't have the time right now." Jade did a good job of answering the question the thought Tori had asked.

"I think you could make some, maybe one day every other week?" Tori asked. The singer suddenly looked unsure of herself.

"Tori, please don't try and set me up with some guy in your entourage. Those things never work out for me." Jade said, still smiling.

"I think this conversation needs to be done face to face. I'll try and get down there this weekend." Tori suddenly said. Then the link cut off. Jade was very nervous. This could not be good.

The next couple of days, Jade worried about what the pop singer wanted. She had to put it out of her mind while she worked, but the problem just stayed in her head. Her work and studies both suffered, but not enough to seriously affect her life, just enough to be noticed. Jade was soon telling the few friends she had to mind their own business.

Jade hated the secrecy. She usually kept to herself, but to be unable to tell anyone any more then she was meeting up with a friend was killing her. Yes, she could have told the truth, but who would believe that. So instead she tried to focus on whatever she was doing. It was becoming a new source of stress for her.

Therapy was all about this new development. It was one place where she didn't let herself have secrets, and so she had to explain to Doctor Bowers the role Tori played in her life. The doctor listened carefully, asked a few questions, took notes, and otherwise remained quiet. Jade was used to this, just not on this scale. Normally therapy was a back and fourth, with Jade going over her fears or feelings or whatever and the doctor asking questions and helping her clarify what she was feeling or teaching her another way of dealing with her still present symptoms from the abuse Richard had inflicted on her. This time the doctor spent the time getting ready for their next session. It was as if this meeting with Tori was going to be important, and the doctor wanted to be ready for the fallout.

Jade tried to distract herself by taking apart what Tori said. Only one day per fortnight? It was a strange way to develop a relationship. Jade had heard of the two week rule, but that was for busy celebrates or executives who needed to keep their relationships going. Whatever was Tori thinking about?

All too quickly, the day of the meet arrived. Jade had received a text from Tori telling her to keep her time after school clear so they could talk. Jade had asked for the time off, and got it. She never asked for shifts off, so they felt she had to have a good reason. Next Tori had asked her to get a ride to school, and a ride would be arranged to their meet for after her classes. That made Jade even more nervous. She loved her scooter, it was her freedom. Tori was taking away her ability to just take off if things didn't go well. Also, going with a stranger wasn't high on her safety list, and she had enough reasons to be paranoid.

But time kept slipping forward, and Jade soon found herself dressed nice for a meeting she had no idea if she was ready for. Her classmates noticed how she was dressed, and Ty took the risk of asking about it. He showed his usual subtlety.

"My god! Jade, do you have a date? Don't get me wrong, but we were debating getting you a hooker for a graduation present. It's just, I'm so happy for you." Ty said, careful to stay just out of reach.

"Can it TY. I'm seeing an old friend, and I have to look nice. She may be trying to set me up with someone, and I need to look good when I crush a guys hopes." Jade said, sounding dangerously serious.

"I get it, you don't swing that way. Just let the poor fool down easily. I know what it's like to get burned holding a touch for you." Ty said.

"I'm not gay!" Jade growled back. Ty gave the hand gesture showing he gave up, pretending it was a running joke. He wasn't kidding about the hooker. In his opinion Jade needed a release.

"Okay Jade, have a nice night, and if you need a ride, you can call me. I'm planning on helping my sister record another video." His sister was a decent singer who liked to do cover-songs and videos for Splashface and similar sites.

"Well, good luck with that. But don't expect me to get in trouble. I'm not your bailout if it gets boring. I'm just hoping me and an old friend can get together, maybe have a dinner, and just relax and talk about old times." Jade smiled, her hope fading with each minute that passed. Tori wanted this face to face. She said this conversation had to take place face to face. Worry once again blossomed in her mind.

Jade was expecting to be picked up by Luther. He was the only member of Tori's entourage she knew. Well, other than that boring guy from the video shoot, and she ran away so he'd be a bad choice. Not sure what to look for, she quickly found out she didn't have to. Someone was looking for her. As she walked out to the visitors parking lot, looking around, a figure walked up to her. She recognized him just as she was reaching for her scissors.

He looked different. He was sporting a goatee style beard these days, and shaved the sides of his head while letting the rest of his hair grow long. He seemed to be in great health. Jade saw him and immediately she didn't know what to do. Her hand slipped away from her scissors, and for several seconds, her mind was blank. Then, as he gestured for her to follow, she finally found something snarky to say.

"I don't violate the restraining order if you come to me, Harris." She said it as coldly as she could as she followed him towards his land rover. This was not going to be an easy ride, and she was ready to call Ty and go home. Still, he was Tori's best friend, so it made sense that he'd be the one she trusted to pick up Jade for this clandestine meeting.

"Don't start. I didn't want to do this, but we couldn't let Tori do the pickup, and she doesn't want you getting scared off by any of her people. So I drew the short straw. Lets Just make the best of this whole situation and enjoy the ride." Andre said, sounding tired. He probably argued against this. Despite him knowing Jade longer, he was protecting Tori from her. He was only looking out for Tori's best interests. Maybe that's why he didn't trust her. "Just get in, we've got a long drive. You can play some tunes, but please don't change my stations."

They drove in silence for almost twenty minutes before one of them spoke. Jade was stunned when the person to break the silence wasn't her. "I heard about what happened. I mean the whole you being framed thing. I guess I'm sorry for just abandoning you. It's just, you work so hard to make it so we'd be scared of you, so naturally we believed that chiz." He said. "Tori tells me you've had it tough. Let me tell you, I had it tough. My grandmother did what she could, but anything I wanted outside of basic needs, and I mean basic, I had to pay for myself. You, Beck, Tori, none of you have a clue what it means to have to work just to afford a new Pearpad." Jade didn't let his attitude get to her, he was just letting off steam.

It must have eaten at him for years. He and Robbie seemed to be the poorest of the group. Seemed because most people didn't know just how much stuff Robbie and his family had. His sister collecting rare butterflies, all the junk they had, and no one realized that while Robbie's family may have lived in a duplex, it was a nice one. Jade didn't want to correct Andre, tell him just how rough she'd had it, not even now, and while she was trying to just take it, he let her know what he thought of her life now.

"I guess you understand, now. I hear you live pretty cheap, have a job and go to school. It isn't easy, is it." He said. The venom was still hurtful. For years she had the advantage, with him scared of her or what she might do, and now he was in the position to let her have it, so he did. He was venting about money, but in an aggressive and unforgiving way. Jade's guilt chose that moment to resurfaces, and so she just took it. She didn't need a victory now.

Another ten minutes passed, and finally Jade was ready to speak, "Any idea what Tori wants?" She asked. Her heart was racing. If anyone had old hurts to throw her way, it was Tori. Yes, the Latina had gone overboard to be her friend, but still there was the possibility that this was all a setup. She could be dropped off in Shadow Creek Park, Miles from home with no easy way of getting back, or maybe some other form of revenge.

"I know. Lets just say, at the very least, you owe her an explanation. Jade, don't fuck this up." That was the last thing he said for a while. Finally, they pulled into an underground parking lot for an expensive high rise condo building in the Hollywood Area. Andre typed in a code to get past the security gate, waved to the guard on duty, and drove until he found a specific space. Once he parked, he led Jade to the elevators. They waited in silence for the car to arrive, and then longed for silence as the bad musac played for the entire ride up to the penthouse. Neither said a word. Another code got them out of the elevator. Andre walked Jade towards the living room, and once they were in sight, he gestured for her to continue as he veered off towards the back hall. If Jade had to guess, he had a bedroom back there. It wouldn't surprise her if Tori had him living here. Tori was the type to take care of her friends.

Jade made her way into the living room to find Tori sitting on a long, expensive looking couch. The Latina was smiling nervously, a drink in her hand.

"Wine?" Tori asked.

"No thanks, I may be hitchhiking later on, so I'll want my wits about me." Jade replied.

"So, how are you?" Tori seemed very nervous. Jade liked it. It meant she was not confident about whatever she was planning on doing to the goth. Jade relaxed just a little, but never let her guard down.

"I'm good. And you?" Jade tried to stay polite. It was just good manners. And if Tori wasn't planning anything, then it was best not to burn bridges.

"Nervous. Do you want to do this now, or after diner?" Tori was direct, and Jade didn't like that. It gave Tori more control over the situation.

"I think it's best to do this now. Get it over with." Jade said. "Depending on what this is, you may not need as many plates." She tried to smile, making herself look calm and collected. Tori gave a nervous laugh.

"Okay, then lets start with a short video." Tori said.

'A short video?' Jade thought as Tori led Jade into the TV room, and turned on the home theater sized TV. She had the whole thing cued up, and just hit play on her remote.

It was the movie Sinjin made, long ago, where they kissed. The one where Tori showed some interest through the way she kissed, and Jade was too confused to do anything about it. The kiss that never quite felt like a stage kiss. They watched the short film, and then Tori looked at her guest and smiled.

"I was wondering, do you remember what you were thinking when we kissed? Not that take. God, I know we had better kisses in some of the other takes. I just want to know if you felt something?" Tori asked.

Jade looked at the singer, lost in her thoughts. She just stared for several seconds, then started laughing. Jade's laughter rang out for a few seconds, but seemed to last far far longer, before Tori spoke.

"Not the reaction I was looking for." Tori said, sounding just a little hurt.

"Sorry" Jade choked out between laughs. "I'm so sorry but I wasn't expecting this. I was so sure you were planning some kind of revenge. You know, for everything I did to you in high school."

"We'll I might now. Jade, that hurt." Tori said, sounding hurt. "I'm trying to tell you I'm still attracted to you."

"And I'm trying to be nice, but I was so worried. I'm not the nicest person, and I've had enough pain in my life that it's easy for me to expect more. I guess that's one of the reasons I don't date." Jade finished on a very serious note. She'd suspected this for a while, and now it was in the open. Jade wanted to keep this lite, but the emotions were getting thick in her heart.

"Jade, I'm not coming on to you, I just want to know what could have happened. Were you attracted to me? Was what I was feeling just me?" Tori asked.

"Yes." Jade said, quickly adding "I mean I was. And I am. Attracted to you, I mean. God this is so janked up." The goth looked at Tori, biting her lip. "Look, Tori, when you guys sent me the restraining orders, I felt totally betrayed. I understood why you guys did it, but it still ripped my heart out. It was one of my lowest moments, and that's saying a lot." Jade paused for a moment to gather her thoughts.

"I wasn't behind that. My father did it. I know he was trying to protect me, but I never wanted to keep you away. Jade, I just wanted you to be happy." Tori looked like she was going to continue, so Jade cut her off.

"I'm not worried about why. I get it now, you wanted to be my friend. Maybe more. It's just, after that summer, I just..." Jade was struggling for the right words.

"Oh my god, that's when you tried to kill yourself, isn't it?" Tori asked, concern clear on her features. "I'm so, so sorry."

"You know about that? I thought that was private." Jade said, suddenly feeling vulnerable.

"Sorry, the private detective Mason recommended was very thorough. I think he got some stuff that I wasn't supposed to see, like your two attempts on you life." Tori said, worry still on her face.

"Three. I tried three times, but the first two were just desperation to get out of that hellhole. The third was when Beck dumped me and you guys gave me the restraining orders. I just felt like I'd finally lost everything. And why the hell am I telling you any of this. The only person I've trusted enough to open up to was my therapist. This is my business and I'd appreciate it if you kept out of it." Jade found her anger, and it gave her some drive in the conversation. Jade had no idea why she wanted to confess to Tori about trying to take her life. It wasn't important to her point.

"You trust me?" Tori said, a huge smile taking over her face.

"The point is, I get it, you care. I appreciate that, but please stay out of my past. I'm not proud of what I did to escape, but I don't need you pity or anyone judging me. Tori, I know you...wait, what did you say?" Jade's anger died the moment, several seconds later, Tori's statement pushed through to her consciousness.

"You trust me. So maybe I wasn't that far off when I asked you here today." Tori voice was gaining confidence as she was building up to her main idea.

"Okay... and why was that?" Jade asked.

"It means that I can ask you if maybe, you know, you'd like this to be more of a date kinda thing?" Tori asked, forcing herself to look at Jade.

"What happened to not coming on to me?" Jade asked, getting nervous about where this was going.

"I wasn't. I'm not trying to get into bed with you. Not yet. I'm just looking for something stable. You know how bad my love life's been, and we could have had something. Yes, were not the same people we used to be, I get that. But you trust me, and that means so much to me. It says we have a chance, if we take it slowly and remember we're not who we were, but we're who we are." Tori pressed her argument.

"I not sure what you just said. We're who we are?" Jade said.

"Lets try again. You're attracted to me, but don't date. I'm just as busy as you, and have had horrid luck dating. I was thinking we could shoehorn in a relationship, or just some light dating, to see if who we are could include being involved with each other." Tori smiled. "We can promise each other we'll stay friends, no mater what, okay?" Jade stood up and started pacing.

"Tori, I know you feel guilty..." Jade started, only to be cut off.

"Guilty? My god Jade, I'm the one person involved in this who has no reason to feel guilty. My father tried to protect me, but I just gave you space. All I've wanted to do was be your friend, get close to you. I have no delusions that I could have done more. If Beck didn't know... Damn it Jade, This is about need, maybe just a little lust. It has nothing to do with guilt." Tori was standing, looking Jade in the eye.

Jade, for the first time in years, looked down, only for a second, but enough for Tori to see it. Jade surrendered.

"Look, maybe I feel a little guilty about the lust thing, but not much. I want you, and while I'll take what I can get, you can't blame me if I try to get all of you I can." Tori smiled. Jade held her breath for several seconds, then found herself speaking.

"Okay, but we need some rules." Jade started. She had no Idea where this was going, but she knew one thing.

Tori won.

:}

So now, finally, the Jori has begun. Expect some bumps in the road.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (This chapter should bore you)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Jade's relationship with Tori was doomed from the start. It was doomed for several reasons, but mostly because it started with rules. Jade had insisted, since it was going to be a long distance relationship, they keep it and open relationship until they were sure of where they were going. Other rules included regular contact and the two week rule. Neither were able to be kept.

The first problem they faced was secrecy. Tori's career was still young, her second album was being recorded during this time. Jade couldn't just call her any time she wanted, too many questions would be asked by people on either end. Video chat was worse, they needed privacy, or at least some place where they could be ignored, to keep that line of communication open. Jade was still using pubic access for her internet, unable to use her room out of fear her roommates might walk in and see something they shouldn't. Meanwhile, Tori often had to go to parties or other events to help build her image. It all got in the way.

Overnight, weekly contact increased to daily, often phone calls with video chats whenever possible. Then their schedules got in the way, and it would be days before they could talk again. Through this, Jade tried to build on the trust she felt for Tori, and Tori tried to build on her long standing hope that they could be friends. The expectations were unrealistic, and the two were often going through the motions. They struggled with their feelings and worried that they weren't doing enough.

The worst part wasn't the missed get-togethers or the secrecy, it was that it was working. Jade and Tori started to feel a connection growing despite all the odds against them. Jade hadn't dated in years, and refused to let herself get her hopes up about this one. Tori needed romance, but she had waited a long time for her chance at Jade. Those factors added to the feelings they were having, and the two started to feel the beginnings of real love for each other. It was, however, not enough when another factor entered the picture.

Tori was at one of those parties she'd been going to, this time a fundraiser for the New York ballet. She had originally asked Beck to go with her, but he had to refuse. Beck was dating a new girl named Lacey, one of the ballerina's from the New York Ballet. She was new to the company, and Beck was going to take her to a function her lack of seniority would normally keep her from. Beck suggested a guy he knew, a friend from Julliard, be her escort. Tori agreed.

They chose to meet at Tori's rented condo. They did it for several reasons, including it was big enough for them to gather and have room to make last minute adjustments. It also had concierge service, so they could get any last minute supplies they might need. The last, and possibly most important reason was that the car service would be much happier to send a car to that address than any of the others available.

Beck arrived and introduced Tori to his companions. First he introduced Lacey, a sweet girl, if a little nervous. She was a petite girl with a dancers build and a pretty face. Beck seemed to like her, but Tori wondered if the girl had the kind of crazy that kept Becks interest, or if her schedule was what was keeping Beck entertained these days.. While she enjoyed thinking about her ex's love life, It was the guy who arrived with them that took Tori's breath away.

He was everything Tori could have wanted. He was Twenty one, and just finishing his education at Julliard. Tall, he stood six foot one inch, and she guessed he must have been about one hundred and ninety pounds. He had that combination of being ruggedly handsome while having that easy, boyish smile that could light up a room. Tori looked into his deep brown eyes, and knew she was smitten.

"Tori, this is Kyler." Beck said, introducing the two.

"I've heard good things about you." Kyler said as he kissed Tori's hand.

"Like what?" Tori asked, trying not to get lost in his smile.

"That despite your popularity and your travels, you've remained very down to earth. I like it when my celebrities are grounded." Kyler said. Tori blushed, just a bit. He was a charmer.

That evening he was the perfect escort. He stayed near her, helped her get food, got her drinks, and was polite to everyone who wanted to talk to her. They danced, they talked and he made her laugh. She learned a bit more about him. He already had a small speaking roll on a Broadway show. He strives to stay down to earth himself, and he traveled a lot when he was younger, one of the few benefits of growing up in a military family. "What surprised me the most was dad, the Master Sergeant, was all in favor of my choice to pursue acting. We both agreed that while I loved to travel, I wasn't the type to live a military lifestyle." Kyler seemed almost too good to be true.

And at the end of the evening, he insisted the driver drop Tori off first, then walked her to her door.

"Tori, I've had a lovely time. I was wondering if maybe, some time, I could call you?" Kyler asked, showing the right combination of nervousness and confidence.

"Of course. Let me see your phone and I'll give you my number." Tori responded. She quickly entered her phone number into his phone, and then handed it back to him. They both said their goodnights, and Tori floated into her condo. She thought of calling Jade, but decided to let it drop for now.

Later that evening Beck called. "Hi Beck, Whats up?" Tori asked.

"Sooo, what do you think?" Beck said.

"I think I should be in bed right now. Why you calling at this late hour?" Tori said.

"Just to let you know we got home all right. Kyler said to say Hi." Beck replied.

"We'll, that was considerate of you. Look, I really should be getting some sleep." Tori started.

"Do you like him? Kyler I mean?" Beck asked.

"He's cute, and he knows what he wants. I'm just worried he's another player." Tori said.

"I know what you're thinking. Kyler's not like that. Yes, he dates a lot, but he's a serial monogamist. Strictly one girl at a time. He's a great guy, Tori. You need this." Beck said.

"We'll see, Beck. I gave him my number. We'll see if it works out." Tori said.

"That's all I'm asking, Tori. Go to sleep now, it's late. What were you thinking, answering the phone at this hour?" Beck tried to be funny, and Tori laughed before saying goodby.

It was two weeks later before Jade found out about Kyler. She'd suspected something was up. Her talks with Tori were becoming less and less frequent, and when they did talk the singer was often evasive about what she was doing in her life. In the end it was Max who told her about Tori's new boyfriend.

"Yo, sis, how's life?' Max had an annoying way of opening phone calls, it reminded her of whenever Tori tried to be 'hip' on the slap.

"Hi Max. Nothing much. School's going good. Everyone's okay. Switched out another roommate. I'm getting to be the longest lasting resident here. It worries me. Aggie's off to have her baby, and I'm going to have to worry about someone new in my chiz." Jade sighed. "Didn't mean to bring you down Bro. So whats new with you."

"You know. Schools good. I'm not playing the next few games because of that stupid sprang I got from that tackle. I'm lucky it wasn't worse. Anyways, life's good. Trisha, my girlfriend, was reading one of her fan sites and saw something. Please tell me you're sitting down. I don't want to be the one to tell you this, but it's better you know. Are you sitting? I can wait." Max said, sounding concerned.

"Max, just say it already." jade said,. Her brother could be so over dramatic sometimes.

"That Tori chick is cheating on you." Max sounded worried. It was still weird for Jade to have someone worried about her.

"So? We're not serious right now, and she can date anyone she wants. So can I, for that matter. It's no big." Jade said. Inside, she felt hurt while that little voice reminded her that she was the one who insisted on an open relationship. She'd known this would happen.

"So you're not mad? Me, I'd be pissed if Trisha was two timing me with some pretty boy. Worse, it looks like your Ex set them up." Max was clearly upset enough for the two of them, so Jade decided not to let him know how hurt she was.

'You'd think she'd have told me herself.' Jade thought. "And he has every right to. He's her friend, he was just looking out for her."

"What about you? Who, besides me, is looking out for you?" Max asked.

"I've got friends. Not many, but I do have friends. And they look out for me plenty." Jade said.

"Has any of them set you up with a hot someone?" Max asked. The truth was, Ty had tried to set her up a couple of times, including an ambush lunch with his sisters friend. The girl was a hot redhead who was probably the most self centered girl Jade had ever met. That wasn't the biggest reason they didn't hit it off, nor was the fact that the girl was hetero. Jade didn't want to date anyone.

"It didn't work out. He thinks I'm gay, and isn't sure who else is. I'm not getting set up with another straight girl." Jade said.

"You gonna talk to Tori about this guy?" Max asked, ignoring Jade's last statement.

"I think I'll let her tell me when she's ready." Jade said. This hurt enough, she figured she'd let Tori tell her to avoid the potential argument. Despite her resolve, Jade took her next chance to go to the coffee shop and look up Tori's new fella. He was in a lot of pictures, always with Tori. Jade wasn't sure she liked him, but reasured herself it wasn't her call. 'Besides, it's for the best.' she thought.

The romance lasted less than two months. That was just enough time for Jade to try and let go, and more than enough time for Kyler to get on multiple magazine covers. Kyler made sure to come across as the supporting boyfriend, but was slowly stealing the spotlight from Tori. The singer slowly figured out that Kyler, like a lot of men, has trouble being with a more prominent woman. He tried to make every story about them instead of her, and in the process drew a lot more press than Tori wanted. She still liked being appreciated for her talent.

Tori started to understand the concept of the serial monogamist. He wasn't with any one girl too long before he was with the next, but when he was with a girl, he was totally with her. His own Ex's all had good things to say about him, and somehow blamed themselves for the end of that particular relationship. Tori saw a patters. Kyler wasn't Ryder. Ryder was self aware enough to know he was using the girls he dated. Kyler stayed with the girls longer, but in the end, it had to be about him or the relation faded. The final straw hit when, at one of the events he insisted they go to 'for her carer', he was interviewed about the movie he had just signed onto. A roll he was offered because of his growing media presence.

Tori was crushed. She felt used. They were at a party, hardly the place to bring up what was going on, but Tori still needed to clear the air. She dragged them away from the producer who was talking about Kyler starring next to her in whatever premier movie roll he had planned, and found what she hoped was a private spot for a conversation.

"Whats going on?' Tori asked.

"I'm not sure, but it was rude to walk away from Walt like that. Maybe we should go apologize.." Kyler started.

"I'm talking about that. You're getting chummy with a lot of people at these parties. I haven't seen one music industry person at the last two functions we went to. And all these parties are cutting into my recording time." Tori said.

"Tori, baby, We're a team. Sometimes one member has to do things for the other. These parties increase your exposure. Is it so bad if I make a few contacts along the way?" He said.

"No, it's not, but at least tell me that's what we're doing. I feel like I'm being dragged about and used for my fame." She said, tears in her voice. He stepped forward to put his arm around her. She stepped back. "So tell me the truth, are you using me?"

"We're using each other. Did you know there were rumors starting that you might be into some chick in LA? Being with me nipped that right in the bud. Also, a handsome couple draws attention, more than a pretty single lady. I'm good for your image. I thought you understood what I brought to the package?" Kyler looked surprised at Tori's ignorance.

"Did Mason put you up to this?" Tori asked.

"Mason who?' He replied.

"Thornsmith, who did you think?" Tori said, sounding more agitated now.

"Why would Mason Thornsmith care about your love life? I thought he stopped caring about you once your first album dropped. He shouldn't be interested again until you finish this one." Kyler said.

"So he wasn't involved this time? Then who was? Was Beck in on this?' Tori asked. "I thought he was my friend. If he was so concerned about me talking to Jade, then he could have told me. And you, if that was the kind of relationship you wanted, you should have told me. Now I feel hurt and used and I wonder if you ever cared about me at all?"

"Tori, darling, I don't just fuck anybody. That would make me a gigolo. No, I think we have something. We just need to let it grow. You keep making the hits and let me worry about out media image.." He stopped as he saw the look on her face.

"Kyler, you DON'T know me. I have issues with people who try and take advantage of me. I though you were different, that you could look past the fame and see the shy girl behind it. I guess I was wrong." Tori said.

"Oh I saw her, and I nearly lost it. You've been chasing this dragon since you were what? Sixteen? You should know the game by now. It's always give and take. You should be grateful you found someone who wants to help your career. Playing the dumb little girl won't help you any more. You need someone who gets business looking out for you, and ALL I ask for is my piece of the pie. My chance to move out of the crappy supporting roles and become the star I know I am." He said, now clearly upset.

"You know what, Kyler, FUCK YOU! I don't need your misogynistic crap. I don't need your fame whoring attitude. And. I. DON'T. NEED. YOU!" Tori screamed at him. Then she turned to storm out of the party, only to see their private place was conveniently under scrutiny by the paparazzi. Tori flipped them off and left.

The next day, she was too depressed to work, so she stayed in at her condo and lay in bad. She dodged calls from Kyler, Lacey and Beck. Andre hadn't called yet, but she was deciding what she'd say to him when he did. Around noon, or nine AM California time, she got a call from Jade.

"Hi Tori. I just called to find out if you were okay?" Jade said.

"No.' Tori replied.

"Well, I don't know the details, but according to TMZ on line, you were pissed off and flipped off the paparazzi. Want to talk about it?" Jade said.

"No." Tori said.

"Okay, when you're ready, you know where to find me.." Jade said.

"Why did you call?' Tori asked.

"To see if you were all right." Jade said. "I thought I made..."

"Did it hurt?" Tori asked. Jade stopped. She took several moments to think about her answer. She knew exactly what tori was referring to.

"It's okay. I'm used to it. Besides, it was my rule, so no complaints, right." Jade said. She paused to gather her thoughts, but was interrupted again.

"How is it, the most possessive, jealous person I know let me get away with this chiz?" Tori asked.

"Because he was better than me. Tori, I knew you'd eventually meet someone who was closer to what you are, someone you could love. I enjoyed the fantasy while it lasted, but I'm too broken. You needed someone who could protect you, look out for your interests." Jade was near babbling. Tori got pissed.

"You know what. I'm tired of everyone assuming I can't make my own decisions. So fuck Kyler, fuck Beck, and fuck you while we're at it. You could have called me, fought for me, or at least told me I was being a grunch for dating some dude and not even telling you. But no, you just gave up. What the fuck ever happened to the old Jade, the one who'd fight for what she wanted. Where the fuck did she go? You know what, I don't care. And you obviously didn't either, so just FUCK OFF!" Tori ended the call there, and Jade broke down and cried.

Later that day Jade was on her way home from class when she saw Andre, and he looked Wazzed. He was standing by her scooter, pacing around and otherwise looking ready for a fight. Jade walked up to him, and past to retrieve her scooter.

"It doesn't count if you stand next to my home, my school, or my bike." Jade told him.

"What the fuck did you do to her!" Andre said, just shy of yelling.

"I tried to be there for her when that jerk broke up with her. She didn't want to talk and made it clear we weren't friends anymore." Jade said, calling on all her acting skills to sound as neutral as possible.

"Bull shit. I talked to her. You hurt her! She reached out to you, and you hurt her! What kind of friend does that!" He wasn't yelling, but Andre's voice was carrying. His movements were jerky, and it looked like he could lash out at any moment. That's when Ty showed up.

"Jade, is everything all right?' Ty had a less than an inch on Andre, but the musician was a lot more solidly built.

"So Jade, who's this? You're little fuck buddy?" Andre wasn't ready to back down. Ty looked over matched, his thinner body more adept at dancing than fighting.

"Ty, back the fuck off. This is personal shit. Andre, if you're going to accuse every friend I have, then this could take, well, it won't take that long. But still, she's the one who was dating someone else. I just tried to be there for her when it ended. I have no idea what I said that wazzed her off, but it's okay. I was doing fine without her, and I'll be doing fine later. You should be worried about her." Jade said, getting a bit angry. Andre stood his ground, but Ty backed off just a step.

"And why's that?" Andre asked.

"Jerk was using her, or that's what Max texted me." Jade said.

"And are you fucking this Max too?" Andre asked.

Jade almost struck him, holding herself just for that second. The impulse was there, but a part of her believed Andre was trying to hurt her, and a bigger piece believed he should.

"You do know that's her brother, right?" Ty said. Andre was ready to bite his head off, but stopped. He remembered Tori mentioning something about Jade's brother.

"Maybe, I'll need some proof. Until then, I don't believe anything that comes out of her mouth. Chika's been lying to us for a while now." Andre said.

"And if that's all, I need to get going. I need to get home and change for my shift. So Andre, it's been real, but bye." Jade said. She got on her scooter and started it up. Soon she was on her way out of the parking lot. She wouldn't cry, not until she was alone. 'Never let them see you cry.' she told herself over and over the whole ride home.

Back in New york, Beck was all apologizes. "Tori, you have to believe me, I'd never have introduced you if I thought Kyler was capable of anything like that. I'm sorry he hurt you. I just wanted you to have someone you could rely on."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Tori asked.

"Some of you band think you were hung up on some chick in LA. I was worried it might be Jade. According to Andre, she's living close to hand to mouth, and I didn't want her scamming you. I mean, she comes out of no where and contacts you after over two years, she had to want something, right?" Beck was doing his best to protect her. It was clear now, and Tori was done with it.

"Why the fuck is everyone so focused on protecting me from Jade. You, Andre, My dad, even Jade is trying to protect me from her. I'm sick of everyone meddling in my life." Tori said, sounding both tired and frustrated.

"Wait, what? Jade tried to do what?" Beck asked.

"She's so fucking sure I could do better she just let Kyler have me. Now one word of protest." Tori said.

"So you used him? You wanted to see if Jade would fight for you? God, I'm sorry he was such a user, but it seems he wasn't the only one." Beck shot back. Tori wanted to tear him a new ass, but couldn't. He was right. She had been almost as bad as he was. She may have been smitten, but he never held her heart. Jade had it, and broke it when she didn't call her about Kyler. Tori began to wonder if she'd set Jade up too. She needed to know why Jade let her go, and suspected she wouldn't get that information herself. She wasn't sure Jade would even talk to her. Once again, she called her contacts in LA, and chose someone who could get answers. Time went by.

Soon it was near the end of May, and both girls were getting busy. Jade's finals were coming up, and she was planning her classes for the summer session. She always took classes over the summer. She also increased her street performances to get some of the vacation cash that came with summer visitors. Tori was finishing her album, putting in the last touches while planning a fall release date. June would bring performances to support the new album as well as the release of a new single.

Jade had hidden how much she hurt by keeping busy, both at school and the restaurant. She'd taken extra shifts under the pretense that she needed the money, but it was to keep her mind off her feelings. She missed Tori. No matter how much she told herself that this was for the best, and that Tori would find someone better, or do better without her dragging the singer down, she still missed the girls open caring. Their fight was just over a week ago, and Jade was hurting more from the belief that she wouldn't hear from the Latina again than from the loss of contact. In the past few months, there was always the hope that Tori would call her. Now she was without hope, once again surviving on duty.

Doctor Bowers was getting frustrated, Jade was retreating. The doctor just wanted Jade to open up about her feelings, but that would require her to admit what she secretly believed. Jade wasn't ready to admit that she felt broken, like the cast off toy too damaged for anyone to love. Caring about Tori, Jade was willing to give her an out so the singer wouldn't be stuck with her once Tori realized how broken the goth was. It made therapy tense, but jade kept coming back out of sheer need. Eight years of Richard, plus everything that happened on either end of that, left long term marks. Jade still needed to process everything.

Jade was tired, back home from school on one of the few days she didn't work at the restaurant. She wanted the extra shift, but her manager didn't want her collapsing on the floor, and told her to take the night off and have some fun. "It's bad for business to have the wait staff fainting on the job. Go home and relax, have some fun. It's do you a world of good." He'd told her. Jade was planning on retreating to her room and writing two chapters of her current book. Later, she'd adapt it as a play, maybe a movie. But for the moment, Jade just wanted to escape her feelings.

She was home maybe half an hour when her roommate let someone in. The girl was new, and seemed to have no concept of safety. Jade heard the knocking on her bedroom door and opened it, hoping it was the kidnappers come to take her away again before she hurt someone else.

"Andre, if you keep this up, I think I can have the restraining order removed. Or do I need one?" Jade said, but the venom was missing. She was just so tired.

"I checked it out, you do have a brother named Max." Andre said.

"You thought I'd lie about that?" Jade said. She didn't have the will for a fight today, but Andre was poking the sleeping bear, and Jade wasn't going to just take it forever.

"Look, Jade, I've been angry for a while now. Tori got hurt, and it was partially your fault. I don't have the details, Tori's not talking and Beck doesn't know the whole story. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here to hear you're side of it." Andre said. Jade started to open her mouth, and he quickly cut her off. "The whole story. Tori, Beck, everyone is keeping things from me. Normally it wouldn't be my business, but for now I think I'm stuck in the middle and no one is telling me whats going on."

"I can't. It's just something I need to deal with myself." Jade said.

"Jade, you have a lot of friends coming over. Please tell us if you're expecting company" a female voice, her new roommate's, drifted back to her room. As Jade looked to see who could possibly have come, she saw the red hair of an old friend, the same shade as Velvet Cupcakes. She couldn't move.

:}

I said relationships can be tricky. Jade stepped on a landmine, and now she's recovering. What else could Tori be planning?


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (You're past the physical stuff, but the fallout remains)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Jade stood there, lost in the moment. Cat Valentine, her oldest female friend, the one person who never rejected her. Jade thought she'd been forgotten and replaced, but that was just who Cat was. Innocent to edge of denial and beyond. Jade had know her long enough to know Cat was in permanent vacation from her families problems, and it made her somewhat ditzy. Still, the child like girl was everyone's friend, and wouldn't reject her for the things she's done.

Cat moved up to her and the blond hair of Sam, Cats roommate, could be clearly seen beyond her as the perky redhead closed the distance. Before Jade could even think about what to do, Cat slapped her across the face, hard. Jade staggered back, lost in the sudden pain. More than her face, her heart was hurting from that one action.

Andre couldn't move. He was stunned. All he could do was stare as the scene unfurled before him. He'd known her for years, still talked to her occasionally, and he couldn't believe the small girl was capable of lashing out like that. He couldn't think of a single time Cat would use violence, especially against someone she cared about.

For seconds that seemed to stretch into eternity, everyone froze. Even Jade, who was quickly recovering from the bow, didn't seem to know what to do. Years of therapy had helped her temper her temper. But while it improved the angry girls life, it also took away her first reaction. She wasn't true to her emotions yet, so when her anger rose, she breathed through it, but was left without a reaction while she acted to stay in control. Before she could gather her thoughts to act, Cat spoke.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Cat screamed, tears starting to run down her face. Several quick slaps to Jade's body followed as the redhead expressed a deep frustration over a deeper hurt.

"Tell you what?" Jade said, arms up to deflect the onslaught of blows. Instead of responding, the shorter girl kept striking at the goth, forcing Jade to embrace her just to get her to stop. Cat responded to the hug first by crying onto Jade's shoulder, then suddenly catching the taller girl in a hug of her own.

"Someone had better tell me whats going on." Andre said, feeling even more left out. His frustration was starting to eat away at his calm, and Cat's reaction to seeing her old friend hadn't improved his opinion of Jade.

"Jade, I could have helped. You didn't need to suffer alone. I was so worried when you left, no one would tell me anything. Not why you left or where you went or if I'd ever see you again." Cat was crying, babbling as she screamed into Jade's hair. For his part, Andre was getting more confused. Cat went from hurt and angry to holding Jade like she might lose something precious if she let go for a second.

Down the hall, Sam was watching the events unfold. She knew, from her own experiences with her mother, this could turn ugly, and so decided to tag along to keep things civil. She realized that whatever happened, they'd need privacy. Turing to that task, she addressed Jade's roommates. "Leave."

"Why? It's our place too." One of them said. Sam didn't care.

"Go now, and I won't throw you out." Sam said, pulling her favorite weapon from her pants.

Gang affiliated girls don't get scared easily, and one of Jade's roommates would have fought Sam just to prove a point. But that was the one who had recognized that whatever was going on wasn't her business and started heading out the door. The other one went with, fearful of the strangely psychotic blond who was threatening her with what looked like an old sock filled with something.

Back in Jade's room, things weren't progressing. Jade was repeating "Please let me explain" over and over, trying to get through to her old friend. Andre swallowed his anger and listened, hoping that they would let slip something and he'd finally understand. He felt seriously out of the loop. After a few minutes of this, Cat stopped babbling and the tears slowed down.

"Cat, I know you're upset, but I had my reasons." Jade pleaded. She pulled back from her friend to look her in the eyes. "I had my reasons, Kitty Cat." she hoped the use of an old nickname would get through. Jade never used cutesy nicknames.

"Explain what? He raped you. Over and over, for years." Cat said, her voice was loud but she wasn't screaming anymore. Still, the anger was there, and directed at Jade for the moment. "And you never told me? You could have told me. You could have told me anything, Jade! Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice was fading, but still clearly heard through the apartment.

"I didn't want you to know. I didn't want anyone to know. I never wanted you involved. God, he could have.." Jade shut down, her mouth clenched shut.

"What, Jade. What would he have done?" Cat asked, her voice was quieter, but the anger was still clear in her voice.

Andre, for his part, saw this was going nowhere, and he still needed answers. "Wait a minute" Andre said. "Who raped you? For how long? Years? Jade..." His anger seemed to die, only for a second, before it returned. Only this time, it was looking for a new target. Someone had been hurting her, for years, and it happened while she was still his friend. He stepped in on Jade. "Who all knew this? Was I the only one you didn't tell?" He needed an outlet, and while he knew it was wrong, right now Jade was his only option.

Jade started crying, falling back to her bed where she sat down. Cat was dragged with her, but let go of the embrace to get some balance and sit on the bed next to Jade. Sam moved forward, having just finished shooing away Jade's roommates, and entered the room with a mission. The blond interposed herself between Andre and Jade, pushing him back and giving Jade room to breath. Not an easy task since all four were now in Jade six by eight bedroom, sharing space with her bed, dresser, desk and chair.

Inside Sam was ready to hurt someone, but held back. She knew she wasn't the only one feeling the frustration and outrage at what had happened to the goth. Hard as her life was, it was a cake walk compared to what Jade had been through. Andre and Cat were just as angry, and maybe later they'd do something about it. For now, however, it was essential to help Jade through this confrontation. Normally, Sam would be happy to let her keep her secret. Now that it was dragged into the light, they would have to resolve their issues, for the sake of everyone involved.

"Okay, everyone back off. Lets start with the basics. Jade, we know about the abuse because when Tori called and asked Cat to talk to you, it left her even more confused than normal. I called a cop I know and got your police records. Or more accurately, your stepfathers." Sam felt guilt at that part. They were just trying to get ready to ask Jade some questions about why she did whatever she did to Tori. "It didn't take a rocket scientist to connect him being convicted of abuse and your subsequent exile. You were the victim." It was a statement. Jade barely nodded yes. Sam didn't let anyone speak, holding up a hand to let them know she wasn't done. She had to stay in control. "After that, six months in group homes, one of them closed down for abusing it's residents, and then you're back in LA and on your own. You don't even try to contact any of your old friends. Cat wants to know why?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing. I had restraining orders against me. I was accused of horrible crimes I didn't have anything to do with. I thought it was best to just let you guys have your lives. You didn't need my shit." Jade managed through her tears.

"But why didn't you tell me?" Cat said. "What, did that bastard threaten you?" It was strong language for Cat.

"No, he was hurting me. He threatened everyone else. If I did anything wrong, he'd punish my mother. He hurt her, Cat. Because of me. And he threatened my brother. Cat, you have to understand, I was trying to protect you. If he never knew about you, he couldn't hurt you." Jade said, she was shaking, holding onto her pillow like some kind of guardian, hoping it would keep the memories away. "I never wanted you anywhere near him. I couldn't have lived with myself if he hurt you."

"But my brother would have protected..." Cat started.

"Crazy as he was, your brother was a sweetheart. Well, when he was on his meds." Jade said, cutting Cat off. "Richard was scary."

"Well, he was abusing you." Andre said. He was starting to get his barrings.

"You don't get it. As far as I could tell, he was untouchable. He seemed to be able to get away with anything. He told me, he could kill someone, kill my mother, and no one would care. It felt like he was untouchable, and I had to endure whatever he wanted or my mother would suffer. He could do it to. He could hurt her, Max, anyone he wanted. Even you, Cat." Jade looked at her oldest friend, only for a second, then turned back to addressing the room. "He could hurt anyone close to me, and it seemed like nothing could stop him, so I played his sick games and suffered in silence." Jade was crying again, clearly suffering as she told them about her pain. She couldn't explain how the loss of control ate away at her, or how she even began to fear that her stepfather would hurt her friends if he knew about them. She lived for control these days, the simple control over her life. "It's why, once I started to like Tori, I wouldn't let her get close. If I started to care for her, even as a friend, he'd have hurt her too."

"So he could hurt you? What did you do about it. I mean, at school, yes you were a gank, but you were also a straight 'A' student. Don't kids who are abused turn to drugs? And drugs would cause your grades to slip" Andre asked.

"It was against his rules. I had to be a straight 'A' student, and I wasn't allowed any for of escape. He would wait for me to come off whatever, and punish me again. Yes, Andre, I tried escape. I even tried to kill myself back when I was twelve. I failed, and that's when he let me know that if anything happened to me, my family would suffer the same fate. I couldn't even kill myself or he'd make my family pay." Jade was managing to speak through her tears. Cat hugged her again, holding on until the filmmakers tears stopped. Painful as this was, it was far from over.

It was a slow, painful process. Cat and Andre had questions, and Jade tried to answer them all. Often she needed encouragement to go over what happened to her. Jade spoke about the early times with Richard, before the sexual abuse started. Back when he would hit her, injuring her to enforce his rules. She mentioned how, sometimes, the rule was 'don't be near me when I've had a bad day.' She talked about how Richard would neglect her, and how she had to find her own food or otherwise take care of herself. She spoke about begging for money, and how that turned into street performances. She talked about being robbed, but getting lucky enough to avoid abductions. She had a home to go back to at night, so she wasn't a prime target. Then she spoke about the parties, where she would be allowed to eat and relax because Richard had to keep up his image. Once she started improving his image, her life seemed to get better, at least a little, and for a little while.

She spoke about Puberty. The time when Richard started the sexual abuse. It was the hardest thing to talk about. How he used her pain to remind her she was his. She mentioned the VD. She talked about how, as time went on, he slowly let her have more of a life, as long as it was about school. She spoke about her conflict, how she knew she had to kill him for her mother to be free. She mentioned that she honestly didn't expect to live to see her eighteenth birthday, and her problem coming up with a way to take him out. Then she mentioned her dreams, and how that was what kept her from trading sex for a cheap gun and shooting first Richard, then herself. And then she mentioned her fear that his friends would still hurt her family.

Then Jade covered what happened after Richard was arrested. How it felt like everyone abandoned her. How she felt like she was being punished for escaping Richard, even if only for a while. Then she spoke about Ginny, and the hell hole of a group home she was sent to. That segued into her talking about her attempts on her life. She was able to let the three know just how bad it felt when she got the restraining orders, and the letter from beck that went with it. "I didn't blame you, not even Beck. I knew I was a monster, but I just didn't want to believe it." She explained.

From there, her deal with Ginny, and her subsequent improvements in her life. She told them that she still knew they didn't want her in their lives, so she kept her distance. She tried to gloss over the abduction, but Sam and Cat dragged it out of her. Mostly Sam. She talked about running into Tori, and how the Latina still wanted to be er friend, but the restraining order was still in the way. Then, after everything else, she tried to tell them that she was getting help. "I see a therapist through Catholic charities every week. So you know I'm trying." Sam scoffed, and Jade glared at her uninvited guest.

"I'm not knocking therapy, but if you're not willing to open up about something, it's far too easy to just go through the motions. My mom and me had out times, we tried therapy, and in the end it was our willingness to work on stuff that got us talking. You've been dodging something, or Cat wouldn't have been asked to talk to you." Sam said. She was amazed how her own experiences, even the briefest ones, had helped her play referee in this conversation. If she didn't hate school so much, might have made a decent counselor herself. For now, she was the force that kept Jade talking and the others listening.

"So is that why you didn't fight for Tori?" Cat finally asked. She looked hurt, but was doing better. The last couple of hours had been hard, but now they knew what Jade had been through. Knowing helped her understand, as much as she could, what had taken Jade out of her life. She at lest understood why Jade hadn't contacted her. She realized that for Jade, losing Cat would have meant she was truly unloved. It was heartbreaking, willing to live with the uncertainty just to avoid one possible outcome.

"I just wanted her to be happy. That Kyler guy looked like the real deal. Like an older, more settled Beck." Jade said.

"Bullshit." Andre said, shifting to look at Jade more squarely. "We both know that Tori has been cursed with bad luck when it comes to guys. What were the odds she found a keeper, even with Becks help?"

"Andre, please, she was bound to find a good guy, sooner or later." Jade said, sounding defensive.

"But if you're like the most possessive, jealous type person they've ever met, she should have expected you to react, you know, all jealous like." Sam said.

"I guess. She did keep him a secret from me, but we'd agreed to keep it an open relationship." Jade said.

"Why?" Andre cut in again. Cat looked to be playing with her hair, but was listening intently. She was more than happy to have these two do the job of questioning Jade for her.

"We felt that, with our schedules and the distance, it would be hard to make it work. Especially so early in a relationship." Jade said.

"Cut the BS. Tori didn't want an open relationship, and she's known you for years. She knew exactly what she was getting into, or at least thought she did." Andre started.

"But I've changed. We changed. It was.." Jade said.

"So?" Cat said, finally. "I know what Tori did was wrong. If you love someone, sometimes you do need to let them go." Cat said as she smiled. "That's just where you've been living for what? Three years? Tori just thought she was dealing with the old Jade, not the one afraid of getting hurt."

Jade stood up, her eyes full of hurt and anger. "I can handle the pain, Cat. I live in pain all the time. I just.." Jade's outburst was over that quickly, as she sat back down.

"What?" Andre said, his voice icy calm. In the last two hours he'd learned more about Jade than he ever thought he could. He didn't want to know what he now knew. He didn't want to know the girl he thought of as a potential mass murderer was so hurt, so broken. He suspected that was the core of her fears with Tori. And soon, if she didn't admit it, he was afraid he'd have to bring it up.

"I..I.. You wouldn't understand." Jade said. She looked dejected, lost.

"You fell like no one could love you, that people would assume you were dirty and unlovable just because you were the victim of the abuse, right? So you try and keep people away, so they can't reject you?" Andre said. "It's like the whole avoiding Cat thing. You could have tracked her down, and she never had a restraining order placed against you. You could have tried to talk to her from the moment you got back. I think you were just afraid of the rejection, so you avoided it."

"Andre" Cat and Sam said, almost in unison.

"It's true, and you know it." He said.

"But you didn't need to say it out loud." Cat said, then after a moment "Rude."

Andre continued, ignoring Cats last statement. "Thing is, Tori knows so much about you. You said She knew about the abuse, about everything that happened to you. And she was willing to look past that. Jade, why didn't you give it a chance. It's like you agreed just so you could fail."

"That's not true. I just didn't want her getting hurt. If she missed the love of her life because she was wasting her time with me... I mean, I'm so hard to love, even Beck gave up on me. Tori needs someone who can be with her, help her out when she needs it. She doesn't need me sponging off her..." Jade sounded totally defeated.

"Excuses, excuses. Jade, we love you. Maybe not Sam, but the rest of us do." Cat started.

"I don't hate her." Sam said, amending cats statement.

"But whats important is you and Tori both made mistakes. You should never have left it an open relationship, and she should never have expected you to be the same Jade she remembers. Besides, I bet you'd fight for Tori if you didn't think she could do better." Cat said. Jade looked down, feeling drained by the whole ordeal.

"So what happens now?" Andre asked.

"I don't know. Tori broke up with me, but I think maybe she wants more. Cat, she asked you to talk to me. Do you think she wants to try again?" Jade asked.

"I don't know, but you should talk to her. I mean, I can't be in the middle of this." Cat said, shaking her head. "And Jade, I expect you to keep in contact. I miss you." Cat said as she moved forward to pull the goth into a hug. Jade hugged her back, then escorted her out of the apartment. She loved Cat, wanted to spend time with her, but she was done. Cat had known this, and told Jade several times that they WOULD stay in contact. Both of Jade's current roommates were sitting in the living room watching as they left. Jade didn't pay much attention. While THP Plus tended to have residents stay a lot longer than group homes, Jade had shifted through a number of roommates. A new one would be moving in by the end of the week.

Jade had finished saying her goodby's to Cat and Sam when she noticed Andre wasn't with her. She headed back into the apartment expecting to see the musician flirting with her roommates. He was there, but oddly silent. Both her roommates were keeping up their end of the flirting, however.

"We still need to talk." Andre told the actress.

"Okay. Just not in my room. I don't need the reputation." Jade replied. Andre rolled his eyes.

"Then lets get some coffee." Andre said.

"I don't usually buy coffee." Jade says.

"Tonight you are. Two, since I think you owe me that much." Andre said. Jade gave him a glare, and he felt some fear. Jade was still dangerous. But he suspected he'd get more than coffee out of her tonight. He just needed a little more. Time and answers, he needed both.

They spoke as they walked. "I'm still upset with you. All this time, you could have told me. I mean, even recently, you could have let me know how much you suffered. All I saw, back in the day, was the computer, the phone, the car, everything you seemed to have." Andre said.

"Richard kept me supplied with what he knew I would need to be a good student. As for the car, it was lojacked. I couldn't run. He'd fin me, and punish my family." Jade said.

"I didn't say a word about that. I said you looked a little spoiled. So I lumped you in with the others. Tori who only got broke because she liked special cheeses, Beck who's father paid for him to move into his own trailer, Robbie and Cat both had their needs more than met. Almost everyone we hung out with had money, at least their family's did." Andre stopped to click the unlock button for his SUV. They got in and fastened their seat belts. "I had no clue that you had to work for your spending money, or that sometimes you wouldn't eat."

"There a point to this Harris?" Jade asked.

"You were one of us, West. My grandma took care of my basic needs, but for the extra stuff the gang enjoyed, I had a job to pay for it. People didn't realize how different I, we were from the rest." Andre said, getting agitated.

"Us? Was there someone else in this little club of ours?" Jade asked, feeling a bit sarcastic.

"Robbie. I know, he had a lot more than people thought, but it wasn't his choice what he got. Like his car. He had one stolen, then he was on his bike forever. Yea, he had money, but not all the time. His expenses were weird. He spent a month without a phone, cause he didn't want to pay for it. I understood him, no one was really there who could care for him. He had to earn his money, just his family paid him real well for whatever they needed of him. His father. His mother could barely stand him. I never bothered to guess which of us had it worse. Now you come along and take that prize." Andre looked at her for a second before resuming watching the road. "We could have helped each other, over the last two years. Instead I find myself forced to drag Tori out of her perfect little world to help me when we had to put my grandmother in a home. Then we had to sell grandma's house to pay for her care and I didn't have anywhere to live. When Tori took me in, I didn't have much choice."

Jade was listening to Andre. She didn't know what he wanted, but she was learning more about him than she had ever known. She felt guilty, not noticing the problems his grandmothers failing mental health was causing him. It had to be one of the reasons he had such a hard time staying in one relationship. She just nodded to encourage him to keep going.

"Do you know why I'm going to UCLA? I got a scholarship, but it's not a complete ride. In UCLA, I can afford tuition and an additional grant gets me through the basic expenses, and a part time job keeps me in gas and food. Don't get me wrong, they have a decent music program. I couldn't afford the tuition at any of the private schools. So I go to UCLA, and Tori pays my rent. Claims I watch the place while she's on tour." Andre smiled for a second. "It's weird living in her home. I can't tell anyone. Everyone would want to meet her, and I couldn't do that to a friend."

"Still not seeing the point. This had better be worth the cost of the coffee." Jade felt that Andre was drifting, so she tried to get him back on track. She was starting to find herself again. She'd been absent to much today.

"The point. You don't want to be bought, or have people think your being bought. I get that. It's hard when you feel an obligation to someone. Lord knows I do. Why do you think I willing to be Tori's errand boy when she needs someone to deal with you. I feel I owe her. She almost never asks for anything, but when she does, I feel I have to do it. So Yea, I get it. It makes dating Tori that much harder." Andre peeked over to see Jade roll her eyes. Despite the gesture, he knew he was onto something. "And that's the point. I think you need to figure out how to get the money out of the equation, because like it or not, Tori's making it right now."

Andre pulled into a bookstore with a coffee shop, about the only place to get overpriced coffee at that hour. "If we wait for you to start pulling it in, you may lose Tori. After today, I don't think that's in Tori's best interests. You know I'm just looking out for her best interests." Andre parked the car.

They got out and walked into the bookstore. It took a few minutes to get someone to open the coffee station and make them some coffee, and the task took most of Jade's focus. Once they had their overpriced caffeinated beverages, the two of them were heading back to the car. Jade took that opportunity to address part of what the musician had said.

"So you're saying I should give Tori another chance." Jade said, moving towards his SUV. Andre nodded, letting her know that was the idea. "I agree, I should, except I'm not the one who broke things off. Tori dumped me. I could call her, but I'm not expecting much." Jade said as she got back into the car. Andre pulled out and left the bookstore behind.

"So call her. Figure out what your relationship is and what it's going to be. Just because you think the balls in her court doesn't mean it is. Right now, I think you still have some things you could do." The musician said.

Jade just nodded. Andre was right. She needed to work out what she and Tori were before too long. Still, it wasn't worth the price of the coffee, but if she got Andre back in her life, that might be worth it.

:}

Gotta love Cat.

Couldn't sleep, so I posted early.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (You're past the physical stuff, but the fallout remains)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Jade felt she was in limbo with Tori. Their breakup left her hurting, but it wasn't until she spoke with Cat and Andre that she realized how much. She'd been telling herself that it was for the best, that Tori could and should do better. She told herself anything to avoid admitting her fears. She still believed, somewhere deep, that happiness wasn't for her. She could achieve all her dreams, but it had to be for Ginny and their deal. If it was for herself, then the universe would make sure it never happened. Jade's love life was lumped into her feelings about her life.

Jade called Tori two days after her visit from Cat. She wanted to give the redhead a chance to talk to the singer. Of course, knowing Cat, it might be better to wait a week, remind Cat, then wait another week for the girl to actually contact Tori and tell her whatever the Latina wanted to know. Still, Jade knew she couldn't wait. Andre was waiting for her to talk to Tori, and he was piling on the pressure.

Jade's heart was pounding in her chest when she made the call. She got Tori's voice-mail. She wasn't surprised. Tori was often busy, and besides, if she was still mad, Tori wouldn't want to talk to her. The goth left a message asking Tori to call her, letting the singer know when she'd be available, and apologizing just for good measure. Jade didn't know exactly what she did wrong, but felt if she was making the first more, she might as well go all the way.

Her phone rang about fifteen minutes later. Looking at the caller ID told her it was Cat. Jade answered, telling Cat there was no news.

"I know that silly. I was wondering if you wanted to come hang out some weekend?" Cat said.

"I usually work on the weekends, Cat. If I get a day off, I'll let you know, Okay?" Jade really wanted to reconnect, but the distance coupled with neither of them having a car, meant it would be hard for them to get-together. It was a forty minute drive by freeway, and her scooter wasn't freeway legal.

"Oh Poo. I'd ask Sam to give you a lift, but she doesn't want to. When will I see you again?" Cat asked.

"Email me your schedule, and we can arrange a video chat. I know it's not the same, but for now it may be all we can do." Jade said. It wasn't going to be easy. She had weekly chats with Max, and Andre was going to want some of her time as well. The goth never thought about how much her lonely existence had helped her focus on school. If her social life got too much better, she'd have to reduce her class load, and maybe reduce her hours at work as well.

"KK" Cat said, letting her know the redhead would be doing it. They talked a bit more about stuff, the guys cat liked, etc, and then hung up. It felt good, the normalcy of the conversation. Almost like she was normal herself. Jade did notes how mostly, they talked about Cat, but it suited the goth for now.

Jade was getting ready to go to work when her phone rang again. It was Andre. Jade was ready to scream. Everyone but Tori seemed to be calling. She was expecting Max, or maybe Ty, to be calling next. "Yo, Dre, whats up?" Jade tried to keep her frustration out of her voice.

"I just wanted to give you the heads up. Tori wants to call you, but doesn't know your schedule. Could you tell me a good time for her to call?" Andre said.

"Have her call me before nine AM. I guess that would be noon in New york. So, you talked to her. Did she have anything interesting to say?" Jade couldn't sound casual.

"Not my place to say. Just talk to her." He said.

Jade worked her shift, and made it home a little after one thirty in the morning. She was beat, and the tips sucked. (For that place. It was still more than she ever got at the diner.) She went to bed, figiting, worried about the morning. Would Tori call? Should she call first? Jade slowly drifted off to sleep, only to wake up to the sound of her phone ringing. One glance at the clock told her it was six AM. 'Whomever this is, they had better have a good reason, or they're dead.' Jade thought.

She answered the phone with "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"I know, it's nine. I was running late today." Tori said.

"Oh my...TORI!" Jade screamed, then she remembered how thin the walls were in her apartment. She forced herself to calm down so her roommates wouldn't hear her. "Remember the three hour time difference! How could you forget? You never forgot before!" Jade whisper yelled.

"I guess I wanted to make sure I had your attention." Tori said, stifling a laugh. "So anyways. I think we should resume our weekly video chats, and add some phone chats as well."

"Wait, what?" Jade asked. Her head was still spinning, and sleep still clouded her thoughts.

"You apologized, and I realized we were moving too far, too fast. Neither of us wanted to get caught up, so we both did things we regretted. Now, lets get back to regular communication. I'm not asking for daily calls, but maybe a text message or two would be nice." The singer said. "We have a lot of old stuff to get through if we ever want to be friends."

Jade felt her heart break at the last statement. Yes, they were re-initiating contact, but it was to be friends. Still, Jade accepted that she'd let Tori slip through her fingers, and so it was for the best.

"So, friends, huh? Yea, I suppose we can do that..." Jade said.

"It's a start, Jade." Tori almost scolded Jade. "We need to go slowly. Get back to where we once were. So, email me your schedule, and we can work out our own schedule. Okay?"

"Okay." Jade wasn't sure if they'd ever get back to dating, but she had hope. It just hurt to let go of what she almost had. Admitting she wanted it was hard enough, being denied the romance was almost unbearable. Jade marked it as a life lesson, and moved on. "So how's the album coming?"

"It's done. Just a few more behind the scenes things to do, deciding if we should go with the current set of songs, change out for one of the rejects, or maybe add or subtract songs. Once that's done, we decide how I'm going to support this album, which single is the first to release, and when the album drops. That reminds me, I'm not going to make it back for your birthday. I hope that's okay." Tori said, throwing the birthday part in the middle while going on and on about the new album. Jade listened, letting go of the hope of getting beck to sleep.

They talked for about half an hour, with mostly Tori talking. Jade just listened, trying not to fall asleep. 'Tori isn't usually this self centered' Jade thought, but let the thought go. It was a big deal for Tori. The second album was a make or break time for singers and bands. Many a band had disappeared when their second album failed to meet expectations.

Jade herself didn't talk about much that day. She did mention being tired, prompting Tori to say "You should learn to take it easy sometimes. No sense in working yourself to death. Besides, I feel I owe you this. You've done something like that to me in the past." Tori sounded like she was smiling.

Jade had trouble getting back to sleep after the call, and when her alarm went off at eight, she was still exhausted. Despite that, she struggled through her day.

As the month passed, Jade finished her classes for the semester and started her summer classes. She was pushing herself, keeping up with her job, her school work, and her growing social commitments. Cat loved to call and talk about boys, her roommate, boys, living in Venice, boys, whatever whacky misadventure she had been in lately, her friendship with a rising but stupid MMA fighter, and of course, boys. Even when Jade hated the conversations, she listened. Cat was back in her life, and it felt good the have the one girl who never judged her back. She even liked to hear about the stupid stuff Cat and her friends did. It reminded her of the few happy memories she had from high school.

Andre and Max also kept in contact. Their calls and video chats were often shorted, with Andre sometimes just calling to say hi, and Max having to work around his own schedule. Max avoided their father finding out religiously. Neither of them were sure what Henry West would do if his precious Maxwell was found to be talking to his disowned first child. Andre thought the whole thing was stupid. He wondered how long Jade would avoid the confrontation they all knew needed to happen, but the goth assured him it was only until Max was old enough that Jade wasn't in danger of losing him again.

Cat discovered a solution to the whole transportation issue. It required a summer day where all three were free. Andre and her had similar schedules, so it was easy to coordinate, just taking into account his work. Once they had the dates planned, they invited Jade and her roommates. It might have looked like a kidnapping, but they assured the site manager where Jade lived that if she wasn't willing, there would be multiple injuries spread across the conspirators.

Jade would never admit how much she needed that day at the beach, even if she was still avoiding the ocean. The relaxed day included a beach barbeque, games, lying around, looking at attractive members of either sex dressed only in their beach wear, and for Jade thirty undisturbed minutes in the back of Andre's SUV video chatting with Tori. It was the first day off Jade had had in months, and she needed it.

Andre's biggest problem with that day in the sun was one of Jade's roommates was majorly into the local underground music seen, and suddenly had to sleep with him for her 'collection.' Andre loved the attention, but avoided the complications of having a fan mother his child created. That roommate would bug Jade after every phone call Jade took in the apartment, asking if it was "Mister Harris" nad wanting to hang out with her friends again.

July rolled around, and Jade was getting used to the new dynamics of her life. Tori and her texted or called every day, while video chatting one per week. Jade still worked too hard, but her friends insisted she have one day off per month minimum. As her birthday approached, Jade started harboring a secret hope that Tori would be able to break free from the overdrive the support for her second album had gone into and drop by. It was a foolish hope, but the increased contact had started bringing them back together. Jade was starting to feel like maybe they could work as a couple. She cared deeply for the Latina, going to the point where she fantasized about asking Tori on a real date. If only their schedules weren't so packed.

Jade's birthday, her Twentieth, was celebrated by work. Jade picked up an extended shift after her classes that day. She planned on having a party on the weekend, and used the extra work to help clear her Saturday schedule. It would be a time where she could enjoy time with her friends at the beach, then come home and relax. Jade was ready for the fun. Her roommate was ready to impress Andre, and Jade considered changing roommates to protect her friends.

Of course, Tori didn't show, and to make matters worse, connection problems kept them from even video-chatting. Tori couldn't even call. A text from an assistants phone was the best that could be arranged. Jade tried not to be crushed. While Tori had hinted at getting back together, there had been no promises.

Max finally presented her with the car he'd been restoring for her. The 2005 Mustang was bought as scrap and rebuilt to almost new condition. It was a two door, four passenger convertible, painted black because that was her color. It was her Christmas present, and her birthday present as well. After getting it, she had to admit she had no place to put it, so Andre offered one of Tori's unused parking spaces at the condo. Jade loved it. She looked forward to the day she could afford to drive it all over LA.

After her birthday, she continued with her ever increasing schedule, taking classes while working and maintaining the friendships she'd recently salvaged. It was still a hard life, but it seemed to be getting better. Jade also realized that Tori was becoming her shield against seeking more intimate relations, but that was fine. Jade didn't really have the time for the friendships she was maintaining.

By the end of August all the excitement of summer was dying down. Tori was now touring to support the yet to be released album, and all of Jade's friends and family were getting ready for the new school year. Even Cat was going to school, attending Santa Monica College, a local community college, because she figured out that babysitting wasn't going to pay the bills forever. She was studying fashion and costume design. She hoped to get a job making costumes for the movies, since it was both a hobby of hers and something she used to be so good at. Sewing was expensive, so to help pay for her classes she was making clothing for people.

Jade now had another reason to make it as a filmmaker. She knew how good Cat was, and would help the ditzy girl get a start in costume design. It was becoming a big part of her life, succeeding to help others. Her list now included Robbie, who was so talented yet seemed to be destined to play second fiddle to his puppet, Cat, and the every kid in the California foster care, group home and probation system.

It was also this time period that another twist happened in Jades life. Like so many, it was more positive than happened in her past. Jade was asked to talk to her academic adviser before the start of the new school year. 'This can't be good' she thought. Jade walked into the office of this professional she had never met, yet who was supposedly helping her make choices about her academic career. The office was fairly plane, white walls adorned with a few basic pictures while filing cabinets lined those walls and a computer sat on the desk. The adviser, a portly man well into his middle years, motioned for her to sit. After the required pleasantries, he got down to business.

"Jade, I'm so glad we got this chance to talk. I would hate for you to have to spend any more time here than necessary. With that in mind, I've compiled your schedule for the next school year." He said, pulling out a couple of sheets of paper.

"Wait, don't I get any say in this. I mean, what if I want a different class, or a different schedule. I work, so I prefer my classes be in the morning if possible." Jade started.

"I know that. I've done what I can. But we need to do this if you're going to graduate on time." he said.

"Wait, what? I'm only a junior, so I have time, right? I mean, I can adjust my schedule if I don't like the classes, right?" Jade said.

"I suppose you could, if you want to spend another year. I was just looking out for your best interests." Those were the words that somehow froze in her blood. Jade still had trouble trusting anyone who said they were looking out for her, despite the growing number of people who'd shown they were. "If you graduate in the spring, then you could possibly get into next years masters program. I hear you've got a lot of talent, and it would help you to get your MFA in filmmaking if that's the way you want to go. But if you do, then you need to do your senior project and make a short film this year." he said.

Jade took the papers. She noticed her class load was lighter than she was used to. It was just a little more than a full time schedule. Jade liked to push her units, and had been running over every year, plus a couple of classes every summer. She was almost a good year ahead. If she wasn't doing a double major, she'd have only a few academic classes and her project to finish. Also, one of the 'classes' the adviser had signed Jade up for was being a TA to one of the acting teachers, earning brownie points to help her get into the graduate program instead of units. Jade looked at the classes she would be taking, and agreed to the list. The adviser told her it was a pleasure, and sent her on her way. He had ten more students to see that afternoon.

Jade was floored. So much of what happened was unexpected. She was going to graduate early. Only three and a half years. Of course, to protect her place in THP Plus, the school and her adviser were arranging for her to attend graduate school. They even had negotiated with the county and state to pay for it. Yes, it was good for the school, but someone was watching out for Jade, looking out for what was best for her with nothing expected in return. The adviser didn't get bonuses for helping her, and he had a full load of students asking for his help. Jade had heard that academic advisers always had full loads at any college. The whole thing felt strange and new and wonderful. Jade was suspicious. Once again she was looking for the other shoe to drop, and her life to suffer. From how much things had improved, it was going to be a big backlash, and Jade worried about how much she had to lose.

By the end of September, Jade was in need of a break. She had been pushing so hard for so long, and the stress was getting to her. Even the breaks between semesters Jade had worked as heavy a load at the restaurant as was allowed, then busked to make more money. On top of that, she had an increasingly busy social life that was starting to stress her out as well. Jade felt obligations stacking up on her. So she did something she never thought she would do. She took a whole weekend off. It was hard for her. She had classwork and social pressures, and the tips were good on the weekends. Jade just needed the time off. She lay in bed for the entire Saturday, getting up only to answer natures needs. She talked with Tori, but limited herself to that. Cat and Andre, not to mention her brother, all had to fend for themselves that one weekend. Sunday she moved around more, but still limited herself to only talking to Tori or her roommates. The weekend did her a world of good, and she fealt ready for anything by the time Monday came. Good thing too, since every one of her friends wanted to make up the lost time.

October came and passed. Jade felt stronger thanks to taking care for herself. She learned she had her limits, and that she needed me time. Funny, Tori fit into the me time. Their discussion of taking some time to pamper themselves (Tori had been at a day spa while they chatted back during Jade's weekend off) had been closer to Tori than Jade had felt in a long time. The only thing that kept her from asking Tori to be her girlfriend again was their busy lives. She would ask if Tori was able to come visit her during the long winter break her school had. Jade was seriously thinking of working fewer hours and spending time with her friends and family.

Jade worked the last day of October at a Halloween party. She was one of a handful of professional actors who were asked to dress up in costume and work the party. She dressed as a vampire, staying in character as she mingled with the crowed and acted out a couple of short scenes with the other actors. Jade never figured out the purpose of her roll, other than to have a hand full of costumes the host knew were going to be great, all on beautiful people. In the end, Jade was thankful the party didn't require her to wear anything too reveling, there was no sex expected, and she mostly worked to entertain the young teens who'd be there with their parents. 'Whatever, as long as they're paying me.' She thought.

Then November arrived, along with the usual drama among her friends. Andre was dating another girl, while Cat was worshiping some pretty boy on the beach from afar. Jade tried to be there for both of them. Her roommate had moved on from wanting Andre to almost stalking one of the boys in the complex, so Jade was able to relax about that disaster. Then there was her friend from school. Ty was still single. Despite being good looking, he just had something about him that put girls off. Jade decided it was the Trina effect. Desperation just wasn't sexy. She decided to help him out, and introduced him to a couple of girls in the THP Plus housing.

Then there was Tori. The singer was still touring America, and was talking about the second half of the tour, when she would spend seven months touring Europe. An Asian tour was also being discussed. Jade wished her luck and warned her to remember to take time to enjoy herself or she'd burn out. What fun was it to get a big, beautiful house and never be able to live there.

The middle of November also brought the next fight with Tori. Things had been going so well for the last five months, Jade was surprised when it happened.

"Jade, I was wondering what your plans were for thanksgiving?" Tori asked out of the blue.

"I'm working. Black Friday too. Long shifts both days. Why?" Jade replied.

"I was thinking you could come to my parents house and spend it with my family." Tori said.

"Thanks, but that would be an awkward dinner. Not that I don't appreciate it, but your dad's seen me indisposed once too often. He's the one who saved me after the abduction, and was there the day Richard was arrested. My god, He's seen me in a blanket often enough he might be surprised if I show up in cloths." Jade tried to joke, but inwardly the memory made her cringe.

"It's important to me. I'm trying to see if I can sneak away, and I want to spend thanksgiving with my family and my girlfriend." Tori said, sounding whiny.

"Girlfriend? When did this happen? I don't recall us talking about being together." Jade let the anger about being assumed drop for a second. "I'm not against it, but don't you think I should have been told? And when did this happen?" Jade said. She was both angry and relieved. Tori thought of her as her girlfriend.

"Last February. I'm pretty sure I told you." Tori said, her voice raised. Sarcasm barely hid the challenge.

"But we broke up, or you dumped me. Either way, it happened. Last march! I seem to recall trying to apologize for not fighting for you, and you told me I could fuck off." Jade shot back.

"Your right, and you still can, but I never said I was done with you. We NEVER broke up, Jade, I just let you assume because we both know you couldn't handle the truth." Tori said, her voice dripping with venom. "I'm not going to be in an open relationship any more. You either decide to be with me, or not. And since I found out about your problems, I let you think it was casual, all the while knowing I was now in a monogamous relationship. You're mine, and I'm yours. If you think your ready for what comes with it, THEN CHANGE YOUR FUCKING WORK SCHEDULE AND HAVE DINNER WITH MY PARENTS!" Tori screamed, then hung up.

Jade was wazzed. Tori lied to her, treated her like a petulant child, and was demanding she change her plans just to accommodate a relationship Jade didn't know she was in. Didn't Tori understand, Jade needed every penny. She was going to have to find a place to live once school was over, and find some way to make her first movie. That was going to be hard. She could see herself struggling for years, making commercials and working as some assholes assistant until she finally put the pieces together and put out her first film. Odds were that she'd need at least two more to start to make it in this town, and she might never be more than a B movie maker, living off direct to video.

And what does Tori do? She just makes decisions about them unilaterally. Like dinner with her folks, threatening the relationship they apparently were still in but no one bothered to tell her. It was infuriating. Jade felt manipulated, lied to, and disrespected. She was going to tell Tori all of it. Tori could just have dinner without her on Thanksgiving. Jade would work. She always worked. They needed her to be there to help with the buffet, to make sure the guests had their drinks, to help the elderly get their food, and otherwise be there for the guests. Some of these people Jade had a relationship with. They'd be expecting her.

Jade called Tori back to let her know how she felt. Tori wouldn't answer. Jade left messages. Tori never responded. Jade was beyond pissed. Tori was ignoring her. Well, Thanksgiving day, Tori could come home and find her parents and sister eating without Jade. The anger carried her through the week and up until the holiday. Somehow, on Thanksgiving day, she wasn't scheduled to work.

Jade was dressed to kill, her hair perfect with the blue extensions, determined to make Tori suffer. The whole time she prepared, all she could think of was how much she wanted Tori to want her. The blouse was tight enough while still being classy, and having room to expand as she ate. Jade had opted for a skirt over leggings, choosing greens that went with her eyes and black leggings. She was taking no chances. Tori was going to suffer tonight.

Jade found out that Andre, Cat and Sam were all alone for the Holiday, or would be if the Vega family hadn't invited them for Thanksgiving Dinner. Andre picked them up, one at a time, first Jade, then Sam, Cat and Cat's Nona. They all drove to the Vega familiar home, a place Jade hadn't been in forever. Old memories, mostly happy, filled her head as she approached the door. They were followed by other, less happy ones, and Jade redirected her thoughts before anything too bad took hold. She remembered she was angry, but the smells of Thanksgiving assaulted her the moment they entered the home. David Vega had barbequed two turkeys, just to be sure there was enough food.

Jade, Andre and company had a pleasant dinner with the Vega's, but there was something missing. Tori was stuck in another state when her plane was grounded. Bad weather delayed her flight. Tori really wanted to be there, and sent her regrets. She'd be by when she could. Jade forced herself to stay mad, even thought it was her first nice, family style holiday in years.

Jade, Cat, Trina and Andre took turns talking about school, relationships, and whatever was going on in their lives. The Vega's, along with Cat's Nona, seemed to enjoy the discussions while talking about how nice it was that the children all grew up to be such responsible young adults. It was a nice, quiet afternoon, and they talked and enjoyed the company until evening.

Finally, Tori called. Jade wanted to ignore her, to focus on how nice the meal and the company was. However, Tori could just call someone else, and Jade didn't want to offend her hosts, so she stepped outside and answered her phone.

"Tori, You've got some nerve, demanding I show up to your family dinner. I missed working today just to meet your arbitrary demands. Do you..." Jade started, almost yelling. It took her a second to register what Tori had opened with. "What was that?"

"I said I'm sorry. I'd meant to tell you face to face, but the weather got in my way. I'll be there for the weekend. I really want to see you. I know your working the whole weekend, but is there a chance I could see you, around your schedule?" Tori said.

"So you tell me to fuck myself and then threaten me if I don't show up? Why? Why the fuck did you deliberately piss me off, make me feel so..." Jade, the wordsmith, was beyond words.

"So you'd show up. I'm so sorry for manipulating you like that, but I really needed to see you. Face to face." Tori said, sounding sincere.

"Why did you act so...Beck?" Jade asked, still hurt. Her anger was fading as she understood just what Tori did.

"It was his idea. He told me to act like you. You know, pissing you off, threatening the relationship. He said you'd most likely show up just to yell at me, and that was the only guarantee I had you'd show up at all. I am so, so sorry. And Jade, what I said earlier, during my rant. I meant it. To me we never broke up, we were just on a break. I think I love you, and I want you to be happy. When Cat told me about your fears, I talked to Beck, and decided to keep it friendly until I was ready to take it to the next level. I really want to see you." Tori said. "You look nice in that outfit."

"How do you know what I'm wearing?!" Jade asked, just a little freaked out. It was also safer than thinking about what Tori just said.

"I wish I could say I was there, but I'll have to settle for friends with camera's in their phones. I got pictures from Cat, Andre, Trina, and I think Cat's Nona?" Tori said. "So do you forgive me? I really want to see you this weekend."

"I forgive you, for now. But Tori, please never do that to me again..." Jade held it together, but she hated being manipulated. Rage and relief mixed and produced confusion. Jade decided to let it go, until she could talk to her therapist. Her next session was probably going to be just venting.

Tori started to rap it up. "Anyways, please go back and enjoy my families company, and text me your work schedule so I can figure out when we can talk." Tori said. "I so want to look into your eyes again. Bye"

"Yea, Tori, I'll get you my schedule ASAP. Bye." Jade said, then waited as Tori hung up. She was always doing it to Jade. The goth walked back into the house and enjoyed some hot cyder and stories from the various guests.

Jade was still wazzed off, but she decided to let it go, or try to. She was in love, in a relationship, and going to see Tori face to face. 'Take it to the next level, huh?' Jade thought, and that brought a new fear.

:}

Not sure about this chapter, but I think it works. Gotta love mind games. Tori can be so manipulative. I get the feeling she still thinks jade can go fuck herself, but that never changes their relationship status.

What do you think of Tori's tactics?


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (You're past the physical stuff, but the fallout remains)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Jade found herself thinking about Tori for the next two days. 'Take it to the next level? What does she mean by that?' Jade kept asking herself. But inside she knew, sooner or later Tori would want intimacy. 'Why wouldn't she. She's a famous pop star. She is surrounded by groupies and famous people, all of them to be with her. I wouldn't be surprised if she dated half of _Big Time Rush_ by now.' Jade knew she was going to have to negotiate the next steps carefully, so she wasn't functionally a prostitute.

Jade had her anger issues with Tori. She hated being manipulated. While totally different than the way Richard manipulated her, it was still making Jade do what others wanted, taking her control away. Jade balanced that with the idea that Tori was protecting herself. Unfortunately, that might include trying to buy her, or otherwise set the rules of their lives. Jade suspected her own buy in was not a priority, and was honestly scared when she thought of what Tori might be trying to buy. The thought of intimacy, or sex, was inciting. Jade had been with Beck, been in love with him, but had never been seduced. Uncertainty breed fear, and that threatened to fuel her anger. But Jade knew how to deal with her anger.

Jade's preoccupation with what Tori wanted was affecting her work. She was doing what she had done since she was eighteen, working double shifts on Black Friday and the weekend that followed. It was hard work, but profitable. There were tips, and in addition Jade had proven willing to fill in where needed. Despite being too young, she often worked the bar so the usual bartenders could take time off to shop. It was about earning brownie points and good will from management. That's what kept her getting the better tables during the holiday rush, and that led to the better tips.

So there she was, on Saturday, taking her government mandated meal break after the lunch rush. She had half an hour to eat and get back. She'd planned on just taking a break in the back and maybe helping out if necessary, when she saw Luther talking to the hostess. Quickly she grabbed something from the kitchen. Her heart started racing. It was possibly time.

Luther was pointed in her direction, while a staff member walked up to her to let her know she had a visitor. Jade took her meal in a to go box and, after catching up to him, followed the large, intimidating man out. She heard the hostess taking bets on when, and if she would be back. Jade hoped she'd finish her shift. She needed the job to keep adding to her savings. It was only a matter of time before they kicked her out of her living arrangement.

Luther led her to his car, a large black SUV with tinted windows. Jade suspected the vehicle was second hand state department, and might survive a direct hit from an RPG. Luther struck her as the kind of guy who'd own an armored SUV. He motioned her to get into the back seat. "I only have like twenty minutes left of lunch" she told him.

"You'll be back in time" He assured her. She wondered if she would, or would he bury her in the desert to protect Tori. The last thought made her smile.

Jade pulled herself into the back seat of the SUV, only to find Tori sitting in the other seat. 'I should have guessed. Not taking chances, are you Tori?' Jade thought. For about a minute, neither spoke.

"You should eat. I don't want you to miss your meal just because you talked to me." Tori said. Jade nodded, then started eating her dinner. It was a chicken dish, one of the house specialties. Jade kind of liked it.

"So, here we are." Tori said. Jade felt at a disadvantage, food in her mouth. Still, if offered a sense of safety. Tori only had a limited amount of time.

"You keep eating, I'll talk." Tori continued. "I really wanted to see you again." The singer reached across the back seat, brushing her hand across Jade's arm. The goth was both excited and worried about the contact. Jade loved it, but wondered where Tori was going with it. "I needed to see you." The hand continued to make sporadic contact, touching Jade's arm, leg, and hair. "But lets not get caught on that. I wanted to talk to you about the rules we've been dating under. I think we need to agree to change them, to better reflect where we are as a couple."

Again Jade just nodded. She was eating her dinner, and trying to enjoy the dish. Tori, however, was making it hard to think. The feather light touches, occasionally getting more solid, each time for a second, were burning her skin. Jade was feeling just how close the two had become, and it was almost painful. At their closest, her and Beck barely had this kind of heat, and she loved him so much. Tori was dangerous in her closeness. Jade's fears started screaming just outside her conscious minds ability to hear, and Jade stiffened because of it. Jade focused on staying in control.

Tori noticed, and pulled her hand back. "The first thing we need to agree on is that we're monogamous. I know you might argue that it's not a good idea, but face it Jade. You're _nonogamous_ right now, so you lose nothing. I need to have this." Tori said. "Please say yes." Tori said, trying to sound sultry.

'She's trying to seduce me? She wants me to be with her, and she's trying to seduce me.' Jade's thoughts came with another wave of fear. The actress pushed past it. Too much was at stake. "O-okay." she stammered. Her heart was pounding, and she was afraid she'd wet herself if she wasn't careful.

"I'm glad you're on board." Tori said. She noticed Jade's reactions, so decided to shift tactics. She put her hand on Jade's shoulder, rubbing in comforting circles to help calm the tough girl down. "Now on to rule two. I need you to agree to lighten your schedule a bit. Hear me out. We need to follow the two week rule, or get as close as possible. I'm on tour, and while I'll be home for Christmas, I think it might be easier for you to fly to me, at least some of the time, than for me to always fly to you." Tori smiled.

A panicked look crossed Jade's face as Tori watched for her reaction. Jade grabbed onto the first excuse she could find. "Can't afford to be flying out all the time. I've got schoolwork, work, and not enough in my bank account to just splurge on luxuries like frequent airfare." Jade felt good about the answer, but at the same time felt bad for trying to doge Tori.

"I'm paying the airfare." Tori said. She continued to rub Jade's shoulder, and felt the girl relax a bit, until Tori told her about paying for the flights.

"Tori, I'm not some floozy you can just buy. I take care of myself." Jade said.

Tori leaned closer, kissing Jade's cheek and neck as she whispered in to Jade's ear. "Would you be paying for my airfare? I doubt you could afford that." Jade looked at Tori. There was a point coming. "If I'd be paying for my own flights, then it coasts me the same to fly you to me as to fly me to you. Just accept it, and lets move forward." kisses were peppering Jade's neck and ears. The goth was getting warmer, but at the same time, her fears were still whispering that she had to be careful.

Jade had no idea why she was so scared, but the thought of going all the way with Tori was chilling. Jade liked the fatalities as long as she kept her eyes open and didn't get too far. Jade knew she had to do something, so she gave in. "The hotels?" her voice had no resolve.

"Paid for, and once we're ready, we can share." Tori was staggered when Jade's muscles just unclenched. It was like she said the magic words. Tori had expected her girlfriend to get more nervous. Instead, out of gratitude for whatever had erased her fears, even for a moment, Jade turned to giving her girlfriend the kind of thank you she deserved. Hands roamed just a bit as the two made out in the car. The sudden tapping on the window shook them both out of the make out session. Both were flushed from the contact. Jade felt her love of Tori.

Jade opened the door to find Luther there. "What?" she said.

"Twenty minutes are up. You going back to work?" He said, sounding like he didn't care what her answer was, as long as she gave him one.

Jade realized, if she stayed, she would probably lose her job, so reluctantly, with a few final kisses, she got out of the car and headed into the restaurant. Luckily, she'd finished most of her dinner before things started getting heavy with Tori. Jade resolved to talk to her therapist about what happened. Only later did she remember that she was angry at Tori for manipulating her. And in the car, tori was very manipulating. Jade cleaned her thoughts.

About thirty minutes later, Jade was asked if she wanted to serve a high end client in a private room normally reserved for parties. Jade knew that the odds were that the tip wouldn't match the amount of work, but was still trying to prove she was worth the faith her boss had placed in her, back when she was hired. 'Pseudo-celebrities don't always tip that much, and we rarely get anyone worth bragging about in this place.' she thought. It meant four fewer tables, just to make it back to that room, so her tips would take a big hit. Still, she felt she had to do it. It was unlikely there would be more than eight people, so there would be no mandatory tip added to the bill.

The entire staff was watching as Jade made her way back to the private room. Jade herself just hoped that if it was a someone, they'd never remember she was their waiter if they met once she made something of her life. As she walked into the room, her heart sank. Tori was having dinner with Mason Thornsmith, as well as a few of his up and coming clients.

Tori knew what was going on when she recommended the restaurant. It was a good enough place for this kind of meeting, and it gave her the chance to see Jade first. Mason was wining and dining his lower acts, having them meet one of his bigger stars. Tori fit the bill, only on her second world tour, and she was headlining. More important, she was playing some decent venues. Five to eight thousand seat venues. Mason had introduced her to some big stars when he was preparing her for the Platinum music Awards, years ago. The difference was these performers had earned this meeting by breaking even or better on their own current album. Tori was amazed at how many little bands signed on with a major label just to help it make it's bottom line.

Tori also knew about the ulterior motive behind this move. Mason always respected Jade, even when he didn't like her. He'd been bugging Tori to arrange a meet for a while now. Partially to give in, and partially to get back at him for the bullshit he'd pulled in the past, she arranged for this dinner to be at Jade's place of employment. Tori hadn't planned on Jade being their server, just on showing Mason that the filmmaker was doing fine on her own and didn't kneed him yet. It was obvious to Tori that Mason wanted to be a part of Jade's first big project, and was likely going to invest in her first movie after she graduates.

Jade walked in, looking at a table of about twenty people. In addition to Tori, she saw Luther and Andre, who was Tori's guest, as well as a few of Mason's people, and about five acts made up of bands and individual performers. Jade recognized about half of them, but only due to college radio. Jade gulped, walked in and presented herself with as much professionalism as she could muster. Her hands only shook for a second as she let herself get immersed in the role. Acting like a waitress helped her be a waitress on those rare difficult days.

"Good evening. My name is Jade and I'll be your server tonight. Can I get your drink orders? Do you want any appetizers?" Jade said while smiling the whole time. 'Over eight, means mandatory eighteen percent tip, unless they leave more. Of course, if Masons paying, then I'll have to work my ass off just for the mandatory tip.'

Jade took their orders, carding half of them. She wasn't upset when they challenged her, demanding to know if she knew who they were with. She didn't care, as long as she kept her bosses out of trouble. Places could get shut down for serving alcohol to minors. Andre was pissed when she wouldn't get him a beer without seeing his ID, but didn't make too big a deal out of it. Not quite old enough, he settled for a soda.

The rest of the meal was like that, while jade had the added burden of dealing with the other staff. The other servers wanted to know what they were like, what they were eating, etc. Several guys wanted a shot at Tori, talking it up like they had a chance. Jade just said she had a guy with her, and left it at that. Others wanted some of Masons time. Jade knew that was a losing proposition, and just ignored them. She was tempted, just to fuck with him, but professionalism said to let him eat in peace. A couple of the servers wanted something from the minor bands, but the manager made sure no one but Jade and the busboy went in to the room.

Mason, for his part, ignored who she was for the whole meal. He, and the others, did run her around, making sure they had everything to make the meal as close to perfect as possible. Jade worked her ass off catering to their every need. At one point, someone pinched said ass. Jade held back from her urge to kill. 'No sense losing a tip over justifiable homicide.' She thought. Besides, once she could recreate what happened, and where the offending hand had come from, she realized it was Tori who pinched her. Jade resisted the urge to accidentally spill a tray of drinks on the singer, and kept her focus on the tip she was going to get.

The evening continued like that until Jade ran into Mason near the bathrooms. Jade was getting something for one of her other tables, and Mason was on his way out from taking care of his business. It reminded her of Andre's embarrassing bathroom story from when they first met Mason. He needed a bathroom bodyguard.

"Jade." She froze. It was the first time he'd used her name. Every other time, it was 'Oh Miss.'

"Yes?" she said. He was a costumer. Jade was aware of how close to the kitchen they were. The cooks on the line were horrible gossips, worse than middle school girls. This could be bad.

"I was just going to say I'm glad your doing all right. I've had an interest in your career ever since you were runner up for the Platinum music Awards. I've been watching to see where you wind up. I hear you're a student at the California Institute of the Arts?" Mason seemed genuinely interested. Jade knew, this wasn't like him at all. He seemed almost human. The thing Jade had always admired about him was he seemed willing to fire his own mother to make it in business.

"I'm in my third year, but I've taken enough classes, both extra units and over the summers, that I'm a senior now." Jade said.

"Do you still have my number? Never mind. I'll have.." Mason stopped when Jade almost put her hand over his mouth. Stepping back, he continued "my assistant get it to you. Call me once your done. I want to see if I might want to invest in your first project."

"It could be a while. I've been accepted into their graduate school. I'm going to get my masters in filmmaking." She said.

"I think that's a good idea. Just remember, once your done with school, give me a chance to invest in your film, if I like it." He said. "I need to get back to my guests. Please, make sure you have a moment when you come to check on us. I'd like to make introductions." Jade nodded and he walked back to his group.

Jade Walked into the kitchen, concerned that someone might have overheard the conversation. Jade never before in her life had wanted people to think it was a case of mistaken identity so badly in her life. If she was really lucky, they'd think he'd mistaken her for a prostitute. It would be easier to deal with than the truth. Instead, she walked in and saw the line cooks doing a poor job of pretending to be totally focused on their work. It was a hard job to do, one of the reasons the gossiped so much. They needed the release during the times things got busy. Jade knew they were trying to hide something.

"Well?" she said.

"When exactly did you meet Mister Thornsmith?" the head chief asked. He was a no nonsense type, anxious to end the gossip that was distracting his kitchen. Jade knew the man, and had cut vegetables for him on occasion when she needed extra work. They always needed people to cut vegetables. As a result, she knew it was best to appease him and get on with life.

"I met him years ago, when I was chosen as the backup singer for the opening act of the Platinum Music Awards. You know, when they wanted an unknown to open the show." Jade said. "I'm surprised he remembered me. Once the show was over, I was out of his life." It was not quite a lie, just a lot of details had been changed. Jade was honestly surprised, however, that he was interested in her in any way.

"Maybe your audition was memorable?" One of the line cooks said. Jade didn't have time to defend herself. She needed her orders and to get back out to her tables.

"I was sixteen, perve. He's married to his work." Jade shot back as she gathered her plates and started to carry them out.

"Who was the main performer back then?" One of the waitresses asked her.

"Tori Vega" Jade said, and made her way to the safety of the general restaurant.

Later, after dodging questions and keeping busy earning her tips, Jade went to check on Masons party. She'd already given them their deserts and was now coming to get the check. She saw her manager in there, talking with Mason. She didn't want to disturb them, but felt she should do her job.

"It's okay, Jade. I've taken care of this. They've paid, and will be leaving soon." her manager said.

Mason just motioned for her to come in anyways. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to meet the one that got away. This is Jade West, a promising performer who's pursuing a career in film. She could easily have been one of you. I'm interested in how her new career evolves. I recognized not just talent, but the will to succeed during our previous encounter. I'm glad she's doing well and look forward to her first release as a filmmaker." Jade just looked at the group, smiling. Her manager was watching her.

Later still, towards the end of her day, Jade was cashing out. It was time to gather her share of the tips, pay the various people their share, and leave. She had been here for fourteen hours, and wanted to go home and crash. Her manager asked to speak to her.

"Normally I'd be upset you were fraternizing with our important guests, but from what I can tell, he's known you for a while. I do ask you not to get a big head just because someone who's someone knows you. I know you intend to make it as a movie maker, but trust me, your better off if you make being a server your career. You're more likely to make it with us than being creative." Her manager reminded her of her father. He was so focused on the bottom line, he often missed opportunities that might come his way.

Jade knew enough to just listen and nod. Still, today had changed the dynamic of her workplace. It would blow over, but she'd be pestered about who she might know, or have met, for months. Jade's biggest problem was she knew a couple of the people they wanted to know about, from her time at Hollywood Arts.

Listening to her manager, Jade decided to just go through with it, and told her him she was dating now, and might need some weekends off. He was upset to hear that, telling her again that such a move was not good for a young woman trying to make it in this town. Not in the entertainment industry. He would, however, try to accommodate her.

Jade finished her hard weekend, happy to be done from yet another series of long shifts at the restaurant. She'd take a hit to her income giving up half her weekends. Jade reminded herself she was going to need to do something like that eventually. To make her student films, to make other films, she was going to have to take control of her time and move away from being her managers go to person.

It scared her. Jade didn't like the thought of losing this job and going back to working at a crappy diner, or maybe someplace worse. But as much as the fear of slipping backwards affected her, it was nothing compared to the fear she'd felt during her talk with Tori. The fear that dissipated as soon as Tori mentioned sleeping in separate rooms.

Doctor Bowers was doing her usually great job keeping it together as Jade ranted about how she and Tori got back together. Jade had a lot of stored anger, and was looking to unload in a safe place. She was aware, almost feeling, the young woman's grief and anger as she discussed how Tori manipulated her. Jade's description of the events was at times humorous, but the doctor kept her composure. Jade had a lot to vent about.

Doctor Bowers had no intent, however, of just letting Jade spew her frustrations. The doctor noticed, lost in the stories, a couple of things she wanted to go over. One was very important.

"So Jade, Tori never said she was breaking up with you? Just you could go and fuck yourself?" The therapist asked.

Jade was no longer shocked at the use of language from her usually reserved counselor. The counselor was more than willing to use the appropriate language for whatever situation they were discussing. If there was a lot of profanity involved, the doctor was willing to just use said language to keep the narrative clear.

"I guess. It's been months. I mean, Tori claims that after my heart to heart with Cat and Andre, you remember us talking about them, she decided to manipulate me into having the kind of relationship she wanted. It feels wrong, but almost nurturing at the same time. I guess I missed how close we were getting over the summer. Now, she wants us to see each other regularly. I mean, face to face." Jade said.

"Did you get a chance to let her know how upset you were about being manipulated?" The older woman asked.

"I think, during the touchy feely part of the conversation, it kinda got lost." Jade said, feeling weak.

"I can understand that. So you're apprehensive about her flying you out to her, but your schedules won't work any other way. You will need to keep things clear in this part of the relationship, so you both can clearly see that no one is buying anything from the other, and there are no obligations." Doctor Bowers said, plowing ahead to her main point..

"Yea. We need to clarify that. I'll talk to her tonight, during our usual phone chat." Jade said. She was ready to go on, talking about the weird encounter with Mason, when Doctor Bowers interrupted her.

"Tell me again about the whole sleeping arrangements thing." the Doctor said.

"Tori said that we'd be sleeping in separate rooms until we were ready for...I suppose she was talking about sex." Jade said.

"And how did that make you feel?" the Doctor asked. It was the stereotypical question from a therapist, but this was a point the doctor wanted to cover.

"Relieved. I'm not sure we're ready for sex at this moment." The goth answered.

"How was your interaction with Tori before she said that?" the counselor asked.

"Difficult. I..I was.. I think I flinched each time she tried to touch me." Jade said, relaxing into a technique she used to help bring back the feelings associated with memories. "I was scared, like she was wanting something from me. It was like that since we talked on Thanksgiving. She said we'd take it to the next level, and I was worried about it."

"And after she told you that you'd have your own room?" The doctor asked, not wanting Jade to get too into her fears yet.

"It was different. We hugged, we kissed, I swear I just wanted to cuddle with her. It was nice." Jade smiled, enjoying that part of the memory.

"Then lets talk about sex. When was the last time you had sex?" Doctor Bowers asked. It felt like an abrupt shift, but the Doctor knew what she was doing.

"You mean with someone else?" Jade asked. It sounded like a dumb question, but they both just dropped it.

"Yes, and for convenience sake, we can leave out the time's you were raped. I know that when you were abducted, the breaker raped you with a dildo, and that could have ruined your love life. So Just tell me about the good stuff, or at least when you were willing." The Doctor said.

"The last person I willing was with was Beck." Jade said, The Doctor watched her, as Jade's eyes looked around the room. She was uncomfortable. "I know it sounds weird. I haven't seen him since I was saved from Richard, but he was the last one I slept with."

"It's okay, Jade. Survivors of sexual molestation can go in one of several ways. Some become very promiscuous, while others just stop. I needed to know what you were doing so I could help you. So tell me, when was the last time you masturbated?" It was an uncomfortable line of questioning, but necessary if they were going to face what happened.

"I don't. I haven't in years, not since... I'm not sure when the last time I touched myself was." Jade said. She was noticeably distraught.

"Why not?" It was such a simple question.

"I-I can't. When I try, I need to fantasize, to think of sexy things. When I close my eyes, he... they.." Jade was breathing heavily, starting to get lost in her flashbacks. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she shook. Jade was looking around, but not seeing the room she was in. She was having a panic attack. It took the doctor several tries to calm her patient down. Fortunately, the groundwork for this was laid years ago in therapy. Once jade had calmed down, the doctor finished up their conversation.

"Okay Jade, we're almost out of time. I'd like you to see a friend of mine here at Catholic Charities in addition to our regular sessions. She can help you with your panic attacks. In the meantime, I want you to get a passport. Also when the time comes, enjoy your weekends with Tori, but make notes. I may ask specific questions. Our goal here is a health relationship. Okay?" The Therapist asked Jade. The patient nodded, and the doctor continued. "And Jade, tell Tori about your panic attacks. I know there new to you, but this is something I'd been expecting for a while. We'll beat this, and you'll have a normal, healthy relationship. That's the goal, our goal. Okay? I'll see you next week."

:}

Not too sure about this chapter, but it does build on what I've written before. A


	17. Chapter 17

Jade was on a mission. Her life had improved so much in the last three and a half years, and she needed to face a big part of the change. Jade had originally wanted to take the train, but got a much better deal on a plane ticket with a rental car. So here she was, flying out of LAX on her way to Oakland, Ca to check in with the woman who had made her time at Open Hearts as close to hell as it could have been. Ginny was also the one who helped her change her life, and the motivation she held onto whenever she just wanted to give up. Her promise to Ginny was especially hard after her abduction, but she persevered just for the deal she had made. Now it was time to confront her pretend friend and clear the air before she fully committed to her relationship with Tori.

It was the middle of December, and Calarts had just ended it's semester. Jade had a day off, as well as the money set aside just for this trip. It had been planned for over a month. She had a Kia waiting for her at the airport, and would be there early enough to spend several hours with Ginny before she headed back to the airport to catch her flight home. Counting gas and meals, this trip would cost her just over two hundred dollars.

Jade's mind drifted back to how her month had been going. She still saw her therapist weekly, thanks to her fathers insurance. She also was seeing a second therapist who was a specialist in anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder. Jade was using a combination of desensitization and therapy to help her treat the fear, often while visualizing herself in intimate situations. Jade had to admit it was a bit freaky, sitting in the office fantasizing about erotica and then pulling back once the fear started. Still, if it got her to the point where she could be with Tori, it would be worth it.

Her first face to face weekend with Tori had been another case of tight scheduling. It was the weekend before her finals, and she had so much studying to do, not to mention a project to finish. Jade did what she could on her flight to Missouri, where she had temporally joined Tori on tour. It was an experience. Jade had flown out on the Friday as soon as she could after her last class. Andre dropped her off at LAX, promising to pick her up when she got back. The promoters in Kansas City, Missouri sent someone to pick her up from the airport and help her check into the hotel. Jade remembered the nervous flunky who was tasked with delivering her to the hotel, and how they discussed the merits of trucks verses cars on the drive. Once at the hotel she waited for Tori and company to join her. She received a call from Tori's road manager letting her know that the tour was running just a bit late, but would join them shortly. Jade sat in her room and studied until she got a call from the front desk telling her that the rest of her party had arrived. Jade's panic attacks briefly resurfaced once she realized that her room and Tori's were adjoining. If Jade wanted to visit with Tori, all she had to do was unlock her side of the door, and maybe knock.

Tori, in her typical manner, didn't make any demands of Jade. Instead, she did a little bit of flirting while building for a later seduction. Jade had followed her Therapists advice and told Tori about her panic attacks. The Latina had been disappointed, but understood. So for now everything was being taken slowly. As much as Tori wanted to show Jade how nice the shower was in her room, it would have to wait.

They briefly talked, then Tori took a quick nap to get ready for her show that night. Tori had talked to her manager, the promoters, and everyone else along the way to arrange all her visitors. To help hide her romance, Tori was also inviting Andre and Trina to spend weekends with her while she was on the road. She even had made plans to have Jade, Andre and Cat sing backup while on their spring breaks. Unfortunately, UCLA and Santa Monica college had radically different schedules, so the three of them would have their spring breaks at three different times. Tori just shrugged it off, accepting that her friends would each spend some one on one time with her during that part of the tour. What was important was Tori hoped Jade would be ready to unlock the adjoining door by that point in the tour. Tori had her own schedule, and Jade's panic attacks were shifting it slightly. Not much. Tori was going to meet her deadline date for her Jade project.

Jade got to stand, sit, or otherwise be back stage during Tori's concert. It was an interesting experience. Nothing new to the goth, however, having been a part of multiple concerts at Hollywood Arts, plus having almost performed at the Platinum Music Awards. Jade enjoyed the opening act, held Tori's hand during the pre-show rituals including the prayer. Jade wasn't too sure about that part, but it fit Tori so much to see her girlfriend standing in a circle while everyone prayed for a great show. Jade even noted it was nondenominational.

After the show, they went back to the hotel and Tori spent some time with Jade, cuddling and just hanging out. They had very little to talk about, talking every night by phone or Skype. It didn't matter, the time together was worth far more to the two young lovers, and Jade felt herself getting closer to Tori with each moment they spent. Eventually Jade left Tori to go get some sleep.

Far too early the next day they loaded into the buses and left for their next venue. Jade would leave them in that city, going to the airport when everyone else loaded onto the bus once more, but for now she was travailing with the band, sitting with Tori and just enjoying the company. They talked, they laughed, and Tori showed her a few things along the way, but if asked Jade could not think of a single thing they couldn't do over Skype. Except touch. And they touched each other, on the arm, hand, and even their legs, many times over their brief time together.

In addition to hanging with Tori, Jade spent some time talking to the band, or some of the roadies, but mostly she studied. Tori would ask her questions about whatever she was reading or reviewing. It quickly shifted into quizzing on the subjects, or otherwise helping the aspiring filmmaker to review her subjects. It was such a couples thing to do, and Jade felt guilty for not being able to help Tori prepare for her performances.

Despite the seemingly inconsequential impact of the visit, or the lack of original subjects to talk about, or them doing anything beyond cuddling that they couldn't have done over the phone, or Skyping, or even texting, the visit was a resounding success. Jade left Sunday morning feeling closer to Tori than she'd felt in a long time.

It provided motivation for the goth to push through her specialized therapy so they could do more intimate touching. Jade wanted to make love to Tori, but knew she wasn't ready yet. Nothing kills the mood like a panic attack. Jade also wanted to clear up other lingering areas of her life. So when the time came, she boarded the plane and flew out to visit Ginny in the halfway house she was living in.

Ginny spent a year at the Camp Wilmont Sweeney juvenile detention center. Functionally a minimum security jail for youth offenders up to nineteen years old. After that, according to the information Jade was able to get, Ginny was transferred to a halfway house where she would live until the justice system deemed her ready to reenter society. The former gangsta was taking job training while fulfilling whatever requirements kept her in the program. Jade was looking forward to seeing her, and hoped to catch her at home.

Jade's rented Kia pulled into the parking lot near the halfway house, noticing it was a secured compound with a guard at the front door. Jade walked to the lobby entrance and found reception. The woman working reception was hidden behind what could be bullet proof glass, reminiscent of some police stations. There was a door that probably had to be buzzed open for people to get into the compound. It was intimidating, but didn't slow Jade down.

"Hi, I'm looking for a resident. Virginia Garcia. I used to know her when we were in a group home together, and I wanted to catch up." Jade realized just how absurd that sounded even as she said it. There was a chance the girl wasn't here. This place was her best guess. She'd looked at the possibilities, and called around as much as allowed to find this address off a hint from a social worker who knew people in the Alameda social services office. There were half a dozen other possibilities Jade knew of, and who knows how many she didn't. Even if her fake friend was there, the odds they would let her talk to Ginny was extremely low. The best she could reasonably hope for was that someone would be able to get her contact information to Ginny, and the girl would want to talk to Jade.

"Name please." The humorless woman said.

"Jade West." She replied.

"ID." Jade pulled out her drivers license, and showed the woman.

"One moment please." The woman at reception said. The board looking middle aged woman picked up her phone and made a quiet call. Jade paced around the outer lobby. She wasn't sure if there was an inner lobby, but what she saw wasn't big enough for more than a couple of family visitors to wait. That meant it wasn't big enough to service the population of this halfway house. Jade started looking at what she assumed was second hand art bought from cheep hotels when she heard her name called.

"Jade West, please come to Reception." came over the sound system. It had been otherwise silent. Jade made her way through the small room to the receptionist. "We need a copy of your ID please."

Jade pulled out her license and pushed it through the small opening. The woman took it to a photo copier just out of sight and made the copy. "Please wait to be buzzed through." the woman said as she handed Jade back her licence.

Jade soon found herself in the inner lobby, waiting for Ginny to come get her. The gangsta showed up fairly quickly, and motioned for Jade to follow her into what was probably a visitors room. It was a small room with a table and four comfortable chairs, with the walls painted bright, happy colors and a love seat against one wall.

"So hows life treating you?" Jade asked, sitting at the table..

"We're not friends." Ginny said, taking the seat opposite her.

"I know, I just felt we needed to.." Jade started.

"We're not friends." Ginny repeated. "You don't know me, and you don't need to. Don't come here with your tails of how your life is so fucking good, or bad, and expect me to show any sympathy. Life's hard, and I spent a fucking year in prison so you could have whatever fucking life you've got. I don't want to hear about it."

Jade hesitated for a moment, gathered her courage before speaking. "Look.."

"Somethings different. You hesitated. You've got things to lose now, don't you. Tell me." Ginny said. Her sudden interest caught both of them off guard.

"Maybe I do, and maybe I care, but I'm here to talk because I wanted to know if you regret what you did for me. You saved my life. Not by getting me out of there, but thanks for that. I know now I'd have been looked for, eventually. But I would have been long dead by then if not for our deal." Jade said, gaining confidence.

"So someone gives a damn? How do you know they'd have looked." Ginny said.

"Because they found me, and would have eventually regardless of what had happened. It's complicated. So what are you up to? Job training? Whats your life plan." Jade said.

"So somebody found you on Splashface and now you think they care?" Ginny said.

"Doesn't matter. I want to know that you're making something out of this mess. You made my life a living hell, at a time when I wasn't aware that could be done. But I also know now that if you hadn't, someone else would have. Maybe someone who'd have disappeared me in a way where I wouldn't be found. So I want to know if you regret our deal, or if you found some positive in our arrangement?" Jade said.

"Okay, I'll tell you, but you know I never do nothing unless I get something out of it. I wanna know what the fuck you're talking about. It's hella cryptic and shit." Ginny said.

"Short version, my stepfather, who'd raped me from when I was twelve until they stopped him when I was nearly seventeen, had friends who arranged for me to be sent to Open Hearts to help break me. He eventually sold me to some slavers who tried to break me. I'd have wound up someones fuck toy, either in a private collection or servicing lots of guys. I'd probably be that or dead if some guy who wanted me at the time hadn't gone all decent and followed the kidnapers and told the police. I was raped again, but saved before I broke. Been in therapy ever since. Enough?" Jade said.

"Nope, but I'll admit that's more than I expected. We get our share of molested girls, but damn. Now tell me how you knew you'd be found, or missed, or whatever." Ginny said. "And you'd better have done something hella nice for the dude who saved you." It was nice to see Ginny concerned for anybody but herself.

"I owe him, but haven't had the chance yet. As for how I'd be found, you may not know this, but I went to school with Tori Vega. Turns out she'd promised my brother she'd find me, and so she hired a private detective to seek me out. Not much to say beyond that, except Tori and I are friends again." Jade said, keeping the extent of their friendship a secret for now.

"Got proof?" Ginny said. The former banger was skeptical. Besides, the proof might be worth a look, or a lot more.

"Yep, and it's gonna cost ya to see it. I need to know what you've been up to." Jade said.

"Good news is my record's been sealed. I'm getting job training, but they don't trust me enough to put me in a group home. This is similar, but I gotta sign in and out as I come and go. Also, there's a curfew, and I need to get approval for most of my friends to visit. Don't know why they let you in. Guess it's because you're my first visitor in three months. Anyway, I'm training to work in food services. Maybe I'll get a job as a waitress in a fancy place, but I'm hoping to become a short order cook." Ginny said.

"I've been working as a server in a nice place in Santa Clarita. Tips are good, but it's only until I get my degree from Calarts. You could do it. The waitressing part. As for school, it's been a trip. I'm ahead, and going to get my masters next year." Jade said, feeling proud.

"Proof?" Ginny said. "And I'm not talking about your school shit."

Jade pulled out her phone. She unlocked it, opening her photo albums and opening the pictures she'd taken while on the tour bus with Tori. It took her only a few seconds to find one with both her and Tori in it. Jade settled for the first one she found, and handed it to Ginny. Ginny looked at it for almost a minute, then started going through the pictures in that album. Jade waited patently. It was the price of getting closure.

"You fuck her yet?" Ginny asked, out of the blue. Jade was startled by the statement. "You've got a lot of pictures in here where one of you is kissing the other, and a few with mutual kisses."

Jade had forgotten how touchy-feely that trip had gotten towards the end, and that Tori was holding her phone more than once. A quick glance at the photos Ginny was looking at confirmed that they were involved. Jade had no idea how close to her breasts Tori's hand had drifted, or that Tori's hand had traveled under her shirt at all.

"You can't tell anyone." Jade said. "I'm not ready for the world to know. If they find out, my work as a filmmaker will be suspect." Jade had opted, in that moment of panic, for the truth. Or the truth as she knew it. Tori would be happy to take out billboards to announce their relationship, once it gets intimate.

"Don't worry, but I get an invite to the wedding. You want to connect, we connect. Give me your Splashface account, and I'll friend you. We can stay in contact from there." Ginny said. Something was different about the girl.

The two young women spent the next couple of hours just hanging out and talking. Jade mostly listened. Ginny had the standard bad childhood, but almost half her life was spent in the system. The former gangster had a lot of stories about the various places she'd lived, as well as how easy it was for her to get kicked out from her foster parents. Jade took notes, thinking she could use it later.

Jade found herself connecting with the former bad girl. It was based on respect. Jade respected that Ginny, despite everything she'd done wrong in her life, valued her word enough to keep it. Ginny respected Jade's drive and general toughness. Ginny also figured she needed a sponsor, kinda like in AA, a friend who could talk to her when she felt the world was against her. Someone who could help her stay focused on her own goals. Ginny had set her sights far lower than Jade had, aiming for a career that could support her, a healthy relationship, and maybe a family. Jade was just the person to help her stay focused. Ginny would prove to herself she could do this.

By the time Jade was heading back to the airport, she'd managed to find closure for another part of her life. Now she just needed to figure out what she'd been hoping for when she talked to Ginny. Maybe forgiveness for wanting to die when abducted, or maybe to thank her for the deal that kept her alive. In the end, it was just a moment where she provided the other a chance to do the right thing, and in the process make a deal that kept her from being tried as an adult. It confused Jade that she'd made the girl who'd only done one decent thing for her, and gained in the process, into some kind of angelic figure who she'd prayed to every time life got difficult.

On the flight back, she remembered the theory behind AA and other twelve step programs. They talked about how, often the problems addicts had seemed too big for them to ever solve them. They honestly believed they lacked the strength to overcome their addictions. AA came up with the stratagem of relying on God, or whatever divine figure they chose, who would have not only the strength to save them, but the will to do it. Jade had used Ginny, or at least her image, to motivate herself to succeed. No sacrifice was too hard if it moved her towards the goal. Jade wasn't too damaged, or too dumb, or lacking in any required skill or ability. If she needed them, she acquired them, just to keep her deal. It was always easier for some people to do things for others. Ginny was Jade's motivation. The threat of disappointing Ginny was what kept her going when things got tough, and was the motivation to drop her pride and work for that diner when her friends would have thought the job beneath her.

Once back, her brother picked her up with a great deal of trepidation. He was worried about what she was doing, and why none of her friends were involved in the trip. Max wasn't dumb, he'd just been unable to question her about who she was meeting until that moment. It was as expected from there.

"Are you out of your mind? She could have killed you. Worse, she might blackmail you once you get established. Jade, this was a bad idea." Max said, using her need for a ride to keep her trapped until he could get her home. She had to listen to his rant.

"Relax. She won't do that." Jade said.

"How do you know. You said yourself she never does anything unless she gets something. You gave her a lot of material she could blackmail you with. You have no idea what kind of sick things she's into, or might be into later. What happens if she goes back to pimping? She knows where you live. It wouldn't be hard for her to sell you out. God Jade, I'm going to have to get Tori to assign you a bodyguard." Max was ranting by this point.

Jade, for her part, wasn't denying anything her brother said. He was right. However, Jade was now ready to face her fears. She'd relied on Ginny, and her assumed dedication to the goals of Jade becoming famous, to keep her going. Now that she was close, she found that she didn't need Ginny anymore. In fact, she needed to let go of the oath, to relax and take it just a bit easier in life so she could enjoy her time with Tori. If she didn't, she might loose the singer, and that would be a tragedy. So Jade took the risk and went to visit the girl who'd orchestrated her being beaten and abused for three months in an attempt to get her to sell her body. Jade knew, Ginny had a dislike of rape, or she'd have just sold Jade to whomever and let them rape her.

Doctor Bowers agreed with Max's assessment. It was an unnecessary risk. Jade was starting to take more unnecessary risks. They looked at that trend, and discussed if she was trying to test to see if the world would explode if she was happy. "It's surprising for most people to hear this, but there is a comfort in our assumptions. Even the bad ones. It was probably much easier for you to pursue your dreams for this Ginny than it was for you to risk going after something you wanted. Now that you have a change in your goals, I think you were looking for permission to love Tori. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you bought into this assumption so much, that the only way you thought you'd be allowed by fate to love Tori, or especially be loved by Tori, was if it was for Ginny, or the kids in the system, instead of for yourself. Bad news, Jade. You did everything up until now, every accomplishment, every happy moment that wasn't punished, you did all of it for yourself."

Jade sat there, her mind refusing to believe it, even as the proof accumulated in front of her eyes. This was almost what she'd come up with on her flight home, but she still couldn't believe it. Jade's psyche refused to let go of the assumption that she was bad, and that the only reason she was allowed to be happy was either to set her up to be hurt, or to reward her for doing what others wanted or needed to be happy. But the trip to Oakland had made an impact, and Jade was starting to feel the cracks in the old defense mechanism, the one that told her never to want anything that could be taken away. It had been her one area of control, the one thing she could control throughout so much of her life. Now it was being tested, and she was seeing that what she could control now was her future. The nails were set in place. It was time to start holding the hammer at the base and taking the big swings. Memories of Neil flashed in her mind, and she smiled despite the long held beliefs that had helped her stay sane started to break.

Jade would be a little happier from this point on, but there was still work to be done. Old habits were hard to break, and old beliefs died hard deaths. But another chapter in her life had closed. Jade had let go of the belief that the universe wanted her to suffer. Now she had to deal with the memories that belief had helped control.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (You're past the physical stuff, but the fallout remains)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Christmas was coming, and Jade found she was more emotional than she'd been in years. It wasn't much, most people wouldn't see the difference, but to Jade it was a roller coaster. She was used to the lows, but the highs scared her. She was always afraid of having too much to lose, and despite her singer girlfriend's best efforts, Tori wasn't helping. Jade's girlfriend was focused on making her feel loved, so that even when the only time they spent together was just sitting on a tour bus, Jade was feeling more wanted than she'd ever felt at home. So in the back of her psyche, it was the warning sign that things were about to blow up in her face. A long overdue explosion that set the world back to it's rightful place, with Jade suffering.

Jade knew about this feeling. While she was with Beck, he noted more than once how she hated being happy. He mistakenly blamed it on her neo-goth look and attitude. He was wrong. It was beliefs from her youth, learned the hard way, that happiness never lasted. Beliefs that were associated with faces, often loved faces that lived only in her memories now. Youthful faces named Kristen and Ricky, taken from the world so long ago. An old but friendly face named Neil, the last of her elders she remembers loving her without expecting anything in return. Each had made her feel happy. Each had given her a sense of being loved and appreciated. Each had been taken away. Even her mother, Who once had made every attempt to be close, had eventually traded her in for the love of another. Jade knew very well just what it meant when she was happy.

Now, years later, Jade was feeling it again. She was happy, more comfortable than she could remember, and succeeding in life. She was even travailing, just a bit. Being with Tori was a relief. Their shared history made it easy for her to just be herself while they were together. Yes, Jade was in love, but more importantly she trusted Tori. And that was the sign of the end to come.

She wasn't sure how, but the actress was waiting for the world to explode. Maybe Tori would meet the love of her life, leaving Jade alone. Without Tori, no one would want to help her, especially not Mason, who'd been Tori's friend for almost six years. Of course, that would free up everyone who'd been her friend, each telling the world what a monster Jade was, and how they were only with her so they would be able to save others from being associated with her. Jade's mind could easily see her world falling apart. She could not be too dependent on Tori Vega, or anyone.

Meanwhile, Tori was talking about having her work the tour during her spring break. Tori could use her as a backup singer, and she'd be paid for her time. It would be easier on Tori than if Jade was a roadie, another position Jade was more than skilled enough to fill. Tori had originally wanted all of her friends from LA, but Andre and Cat each had different weeks off in the spring. Tori was going to settle for them coming sequentially. But it was Jade who was the one she most anticipated. Tori was even talking about how, by then, they would be in Europe. Since Jade would have her passport by then, maybe she could also work on the tour during the summer, when they were finishing up the European tour. Andre was already on board for that, but Cat had too much in LA, so couldn't just take off. The fake redhead was planning on spending a week with the tour during the summer, and maybe bringing along her roommate.

Jade, for her part, was dealing with more than just her overly emotional state and her fears. Other things were starting to happen as Christmas approached. School for her ended mid way through the month, and she would have close to thirty days off until the next semester. While she was working full time, and busking in her spare time, her friends and family also wanted a piece of her time. Cat and Andre both expected her to be around, while Sam was just okay with her crashing a night or two in the apartment she shared with Cat. Jade only agreed because she could play in Venice to mix up her performance locations. Max wanted the biggest single thing from her. In addition to staying in contact and up to date with him, he wanted her to perform at his schools winter ball. Jade didn't have a band, but Max didn't care. He knew she'd been performing, and felt she could pass as a name, since she was runner up for the Platinum Music Awards opening act that one year. Jade agreed as long as no one she knew found out. She could recruit some of the musicians from Calarts and play some of her original music mixed in with a bunch of cover songs. Max would save a ton of money, and have his sister around for the dance. And best of all, Jade and her friends would still get a token payment. Enough to be worth their while.

Somewhere inside her mind, the dance felt like a mistake. Jade didn't think about it as she prepared. She just got organized, got the music and musicians together. She was also thinking of how she'd be with Tori on Christmas day. Another holiday she wouldn't be working because she would be with Tori and family. Jade even told Tori that If the Vega family kept hosting these events, they would need a bigger house. It was a joke, the Vega residence was pretty big, but this time there would be guests sleeping over. So when not doing a quick rehearsal or working, Jade's mind was on what she'd cook for Christmas dinner, and how she'd be sleeping in their guest room Christmas eve.

Because of the short notice and work needed to get ready, Jade never once checked to see who'd be chaperoning the dance. If she had, she'd have passed on the gig. Outweighing the chance her brother had to book a near-professional band (Even if thrown together), or the fact that he would save money, or even the fact that she would be there for him on the night he tried to impress his new girlfriend, was the fact that Henry West was one of the chaperons. Henry West, Vice president of the high schools PTA, was going to be there.

Jade was setting up when she first saw him. He was talking with the school staff and other members of the PTA about the dance. It was a smaller dance, so it was on campus in the multipurpose room, and the asdults were planning out how they would keep an eye on all the students, kids who knew the school so well, to make sure no one tries anything funny. They knew that the school had too many places where students could go to be alone, and far too often alone could lead to trouble.

Jade tried to ignore him, but it was not going to happen. He finished his meeting and made his way to the stage where she was setting up their gear. Jade watched him out of the corner of her eye, even as she finished setting up her keyboard. The others were also finishing up. According to Max, before the dance started there would be a quick sound check and then the band would get instructions from the school on what they could and could not do. Jade guessed her father was taking that responsibility on himself.

"Hello, Jade. I see you're well." Henry said. Jade was just a bit surprised. She had hoped he wouldn't recognize her. It'd been over three years since they'd set eyes on each other. Still, she looked the same, jut a touch older.

"Dad." She replied as she continued to check her keyboard. She was functionally done, but wasn't ready to face him directly. She was afraid of what she might say in her current, more emotional condition.

Henry turned to the band. "Okay, it really simple. No obscenities, nothing gang related, keep it upbeat. Mix in some slow songs for them to dance to, and try to have fun. Also, if you take requests, you should have someone do it for you so you can concentrate on playing. Jade, I'd like a word with you once the sound check is done."

"It's okay." Ty said. He was the only friend Jade had bothered to ask to help play this gig. He wasn't the best musician, but he could rap, and they had needed him to add to their repertoire. He was also the one person on stage who didn't play any instruments, so would probably take a lot of the requests. "We'll take care of the sound check. You two go have yourself a nice talk."

Jade had to remind herself that she owed him, and that one didn't kill someone they owed. The glare she sent him was enough that the others backed up a step. Jade couldn't even smile at that. She was too busy planning how to dispose of his body. She followed her father to an office off of the multipurpose room where he immediately sat down behind the desk. Jade noted he'd taken a position of power. Jade would have to sit on the desk to reclaim that power, but decided to sit in one of the chairs instead to be comfortable. She was done with her families power games.

"You wanted to talk? Talk." Jade said. She was going to keep this neutral.

"I'm assuming Max is going to want to attend your graduation in the spring. I know it's early, but I just don't want any confusion when we ask for tickets." He said.

Jade chose her words carefully. She didn't want him to know he'd taken her off guard. She needed to keep her cool, and let him know she was okay, while at the same time answering his question. After considering her words for a second, she said "I can't believe he told you." Not the words she'd planned, but still, deep inside, she was amazed she spoke.

"He didn't. I get some information on you with the health care statements. From there, it was easy to see where you lived. Social services told me you were going to school full time, and about your impending graduation. I was able to piece the rest together from that alone. You don't put much on your current Splashface profile. It took me a while to find it, by the way. I understand why you chose an alias. I wish you'd put more about yourself on it. I enjoy the short films. Oh, I originally started watching the films to confirm who's page it was, but I found I enjoy your work, the songs, everything. Thanks to Calarts not doing a good job of protecting your private information, I especially like to keep track of your grades. I know it's an invasion of your privacy, but I took what I could get. They were even nice enough to tell me you'd been accepted into their masters program." Henry said.

"If you knew where I was, why didn't you try to contact me?" Jade asked. Hurt swelled deep in her heart.

"Why didn't you?" He replied.

"You told me to keep my distance. I did. Max found me. He looked for me. I never broke our agreement. I never sought to make contact in any way." Jade said. She was feeling emotional, but the mix of anger and guilt was hard to sort through so she just babbled.

"I went to a seminar last month." he said, out of left feild. "It was about how the elderly get scammed. They talked about how, once someone, especially someone proud, gets taken, it's so easy to take them again because they'd rather believe that eventually everything will come back to them than to accept that someone took advantage of them." Henry West looked into his daughters eyes. This was going to be hard.

"So?" Jade said. She suspected she knew what was coming. She'd told as much to Max almost a year ago, but knew it was time to let her father talk. He'd admit things on his own, or never.

"It was so hard to believe Mister Mathews was capable of hurting you. He seemed a little strict, but you needed discipline. I couldn't believe he'd do anything to you that you didn't deserve." He seemed shaken. "As recently as last summer, it was so hard to believe that the man who took care of Miranda was capable of hurting you like..." Henry West just could not go on. Jade hoped no one would hear this conversation. It was going to get real.

"He raped me. From when I was twelve, he raped me. Regularly. Weekly, if not more often. He didn't have a schedule or a reason, he just did it." Jade felt herself get small, her anger melting into a form of despair. But she kept talking. "Even if you could somehow justify the physical abuse, how he would beat me until I thought I would die, that doesn't justify his raping me. The fact that, starting back when I was nine, I had to sometimes find my own meals. Or that I was functionally sold to him. My god, dad. He tried to sell me, just a couple of years ago."

Her anger found it's grip, and now she was opening up to her father. She tried, for the sake of future relations, to contain herself. "And you let him. You and mom let him. He believed he owned me, so he did what he wanted with me. He gave me VD. He raped me so often I tried to kill myself. If he didn't threaten Mom, I'd be dead by now."

Henry wanted to speak, but shame had until then taken his voice. "Look here, young lady." He started. He needed to defend himself, but willful ignorance was not a defense, and somewhere he knew that.

"What, I'm being ungrateful? I should be happy you ratted me out to him. The one time I came to you, telling you what kind of man he was, and you go and talk to him. He told me you told him, and so he hurt mom, then he hurt me. And on top of that, you hurt me. You didn't believe me, didn't even check to see if I was telling the truth. Then, as if to make sure I knew no one would save me, you told me it was my fault. You punished me. You took Max away from me." Jade was crying again. She hated crying. It was week. She didn't like being week, especially in front of anyone who'd ever hurt her.

"Jade, I didn't know. He came across as such a nice man. He helped me, got me an interview with a guy he knew, improved my families standard of living. He took care of your mother. She's still on his side, visiting him in prison. How was I to know he was some kind of monster?" it was a valid defense, assuming Jade was the one who was overreacting.

"I TOLD YOU!" Jade screamed. "Even after he got caught, you happily let me go. Sent me to some hellhole where the only reason I wasn't raped again was someone in power hated the idea of rape. If she didn't try to coerce me, and instead just let them rape me, I probably would be gone by now." Jade said, her body shaking. She had no idea she still hurt this much.

"I couldn't believe it. Even as I heard what he did, I could not believe it." Her father said.

"But you so easily believed I helped him. Believed I'd help him find and rape girls, maybe even kill one?'" Jade asked. She was hurting now.

"I'm sorry. I... I have no excuse for how I acted. I let you go, thinking you were too damaged to save, and I had to focus on my son, my new family. My children, a-and your siblings. You have siblings. A half sister, and a half brother. I-I'd like for you to meet them some time. Maybe you could come by on Christmas day, later in the day. I don't want to disrupt their morning. But you could drop by and see your sibling." He sounded hopeful. Max had told her, months ago, but Jade had believed that the only way she'd ever see these new additions to her family was the pictures and video Max sent her. Henry hoped to reconnect, but mostly to deflect Jade's anger.

"I-I have plans for the day. I'll try to come by." Jade said. She was wounded, and bleeding emotionally, but he'd offered her something, a chance to be a part of his family again. Jade decided to try and take it. She had nothing to lose. Tori and her family would be there for her if things went bad, and she could gain a family. They would understand.

Jade knew it wasn't finished. She and her father had a long way to go to mend the fences and get along. Still, it was a start. Jade knew he'd remarried, ten years ago, but she'd only met his new wife a couple of times. He'd almost completely kept her out of his life.

It hurt, but again she understood why. The pain wouldn't go away, no matter how much she tried to see his side of things. It bothered her. The biggest problem she felt was just under the surface, she wanted to go home, curl up into the fetal position, and cry until she couldn't feel anything anymore.

It was as if a floodgate was opened, and all the pain she'd stored away was pouring out. Issues she was sure she'd talked out with her therapist in the last three years were starting to resurface. Each one carried guilt, pain and shame. Jade was hurting, feeling things she hadn't even known she was denying. The newly reopened wounds had been festering for weeks, but until now she'd been able to avoid the full effects. Now, she had to focus on what she was doing just to make it through the night. It was by the grace of a lot of training, both from Hollywood Arts and in therapy, that got her home before everything came apart.

She tried to remember what Max had told her about the family. Anything to avoid letting the sorrow take over. She remembered Max telling her that their father had more children, and other things about the family. She remembered when Max told her. He'd tried several times, letting her know she had siblings, but she wasn't ready to hear. Then one day, during the summer, he just told her.

"Jade, you need to know about the family. One day, there will be two kids who will want to know about you, and I'm not going to lie to them. So I guess you can ignore me, but you will hear me telling you about this...our family." He looked her in the eye, making sure she was still present. "It starts with Mary. She's Dad's bosses sister. That's right, he married his job. It's some screwed up family run insurance deal. They met because of that dick who raped you. Way I heard it, from Mary no less, was he acted as an agent for them, helping them get clients, while giving his friends great rates and personal service. To keep Dad in the loop, to get him into the company to take care of the dicks friends, he had to marry into the fucking job. Mary just happened to be the prefect Stepford Wife, so it was a good fit. She always liked Dick Mathews, and so when she couldn't marry him, she married Dad. I guess dad was her consolation prize. Still, she treats me well enough, and make dad happy."

Jade was stunned. She'd wanted, at the time, to turn away and let her father have his secret, perfect life. Max, however, was convinced it would never be perfect as long as Jade was the family's dirty secret. He owed it to more than just Jade.

"After they got married, they had a kid. Mary wanted to give him the child he wanted, then named him after the man she admired most. Please don't hold that against him. Richard West is a sweet kid, very loving. He's nine now. He loves baseball, amusement parks and science. He wants to be Iron Man when he grows up." Max laughed. "He's a good student, and into what student government they have at his grade. I guess that makes Dad happy."

"Then we have Angela. She's six, and was what Mary really wanted to give dad. They were almost desperate to have the perfect daughter. Daddy's little girl. He spoils her, gives her the pretty dresses and lets her play princess. If I didn't know about you, I'd think that having a daughter was his fondest wish. Now I think it's guilt. He wants to spoil a daughter and pretend that you never existed." Max quickly started to describe Angie.

"She wants to be a pixie, or maybe a princess. She's adorable, but still so young. I have ten years on her, and I get so lost sometimes. Her stories make no sense, often playing one thing after another and making it up as she goes along. Still, she's sweet, and I think she's going to be a heart breaker when she grow up." Max smiled.

Jade remembered trying to be happy for him, but she understood what he was telling her. Henry West had replaced her. As part of his price for giving his daughter to that monster, he got a wife who would produce another girl, his second chance to be a decent father.

Now,moths and a confrontation with her father later, Jade could just sit in her room and hold herself. The pain she had denied came back in waves, reinforced by other memories. Jade wanted the pain to stop. Something her brother said at the end of the dance came back to her, and her tears flowed as the thought replayed over and over.

"Mary's okay, but I don't think she understands the real world. Even today, she can't understand why you ruined such a nice guy as dickface. Even now, years later, she, her brother, their friends, everyone in her life seems to think he was gods gift. We'll, the ones who weren't arrested. Just recently found out the police went through their social circle last year, questioning everyone and arresting a decent chunk. Funny, still doesn't change the way they feel about that bastard. I just hope he's the new ride at whatever prison he's in now." Max wasn't too happy with the whole situation. Jade wished it had never happened.

Jade cried herself to sleep, unable to take control of the emotions. After a good, exhausted nights sleep, she was able to collect herself, but the newly awakened hurts were not going back into whatever recesses they'd crawled out of. They were just under the surface, waiting to be felt all over again.

Jade's next therapy session was intense. She wasn't ready for Doctor Bowers explanation. "Jade, you've been through a lot, including eight years of abuse. Physical, emotional, sexual, plus neglect. Your stepfather hit every form of abuse in the book. This wasn't going to just go away. You built a lot of defenses, apparently from before he entered the picture. I knew that you'd have times like these. It's a good thing. Once you stopped living for that Ginny girl, you assumed responsibility for your own happiness. You just need to clear out some shit first." They also had her whole family dynamic to go over, as well as everything else going on in her life. It felt like it was too much.

Jade wanted to cry, to scream, to curse out her therapist and everyone else. She thought she'd forgiven her parents, but the hurt was still there.

"They fucking sold me. Mom was the obvious one. She got the good life, the nice house and the circle of influential friends. But she also got hurt. Dad got a whole new life. He's upper fucking middle class, married to his bosses little sister, and working in a family business. He traded me for his new life. He even got a new family." Jade hadn't talked to her therapist about it much, just once after Max had first told her. Now it was pouring out of her, dragging open old wounds long ignored.

Jade looked her therapist in the eye. Tears were streaming down her face. "Max says they're everything Dad ever wanted. Good kids who make him look like the fucking father of the year. A wife who doesn't bother trying to be anything but his supporting wife. He got the good deal for me." Jade sighed. "He doesn't want me, he just knows he can't keep avoiding me forever. I-I don't know what he wants anymore." She was shaking. She took a few minutes to regain enough control to speak again, and her counselor gave her space.

"Why wont the pain go away? I hurt so much. I thought I was past this shit. Why won't the pain go away." Jade asked.

"Give yourself time. You don't have the blocks that kept you from feeling this pain anymore. In time, you wont be so hurt by this, and you'll be able to live again. It's just going to take a little time. Post traumatic stress disorder sometimes takes years to get through everything. Many people never fully recover, they just learn how to live with it." Doctor Bowers said.

"Some veterans from the first golf war, they got treatment, learned to cope, and went on with their lives." The doctor continued. "Others, who went through the same chiz, still need therapy today, years later. We know how to help, but not how long it's going to take for you to feel like your okay again. After everything you've been through, it's going to take some time. I'll give you a list of symptoms, You tell me which ones you have, and we can work on how to deal with each one. In the meantime, lets just get you through this moment. Sad to say, This is what you've needed to do for a while." it wasn't a comforting thought. The pain meant she was getting better.

Jade took an extra visit with her therapist, just in preparation for the holidays.

Christmas was everything it could have been. The Vega's were entertaining hosts, accepting of Jade's past as well as her attempts to get her life together. Officer David Vega may have felt guilt about what he'd allowed to happen in the past, but he also felt he was making it up to Jade by insuring that the next girl not face the same stigma she did. The whole experience was enough to make Jade cry, and scream, and otherwise ride her personal bucking whirlwind of emotions as she adjusted to her new levels of sensitivity. How she survived was a miracle, and Jade was seeing the miracle more clearly with each passing day.

Someone loved her. More than one someone loved her. Andre was able to forgive her for whatever, and she long ago forgave him. His friendship meant the world to her. Cat always loved her. The perky Redhead enjoyed two Christmases, one with her brother, and one with the Vega family. But the ones who loved her, really loved her, were the biggest gifts she could have asked for.

Tori and Max loved her. Her brother seemed to have never forgotten her place in his heart. He was the one who talked her through the late Christmas day visit with her Father and his new family. Henry West was cordial, even polite. His wife, Mary, was a good woman who hated Jade the moment they laid eyes on each other. Jade was the one who hurt Mister Mathews, as well as a bunch of his nice friends. Mary still couldn't understand why Jade would do that to such a sweet man. Despite that, she honestly tried to forgive Jade and accept her into the West household. As good a try as could be expected for someone who had no idea how to forgive, or why.

Jade's half siblings were a different story. Too young to understand much, they accepted her. She played with them, but only because she was the shiny new toy that they both had to try. Henry seemed to find the easiest time talking to Jade, but only on the subjects he was comfortable with. He appreciated the hard work she put into school, as well as the job she'd held for the last two years. They had a long way to go.

Max was the rock that held her together during that two hour visit. He was the one to distract Mary when she forgot she'd forgiven Jade, and the one to remind his father that Jade had a life of her own. Henry West wasn't the only one letting someone into their life now. Jade had alternatives. She had the Vega's, so she didn't need the patronizing father when she had the loving one to tell about her day. Max reminded Jade that it was her choice if she wanted a relationship with her fathers new family, and that Maxwell West would be on her side no matter what.

Then there was Tori. The singer seemed to take Jade's moody nature far better than anyone else. Tori, busy on her tour, had asked her sister to research what kind of chiz Jade might be going through, and the elder Vega sister had sweet talked a psychology graduate student into walking her through what could happen. (The guy had to do a little research of his own.) Trina in turn clarified the list and passed it along to Tori. So when Jade had her mini-meltdowns, Tori was as ready as a person could be. The love and understanding that went into Tori actions touched Jade, even if the steps felt a little too Hollywood.

Tori worked so hard because she wanted to touch Jade. Touch her heart, win the love of the unobtainable Jade West, but also to nurture her and find what was truly loveable about the Gothic girl. Even the emotionally distraught Jade was something to cherish, because Tori could see the strong, beautiful woman under the tears. Tori wanted the relationship more than she could admit. She wanted to touch Jade, but was worried that she wanted to TOUCH Jade. Tori's patience was wearing thin. She'd wait forever, she knew, but it was so hard to be so close and not get a little action. Tori settled for kissing Jade, for now, while trying to figure out how to seduce her.

After a short while, Tori decided that, with preparation, February would be a perfect time to act. So many plans to make...

:}

OMG, I forgot the disclaimer last chapter. Just to assure you all, I still don't own the characters.

Hope you like the West family dynamic, told from Max's point of view.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (You're past the physical stuff, but the fallout remains)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Jade left after school on that Friday, not expecting to return until Monday. It was a rare three day weekend, one of the few celebrated by her school. Jade would have All of Saturday and Sunday with Tori in New York. But the flight from LA to New York took about five hours. Five hours gave her time to think, and since she was not yet ready to think about where she and Tori were in their relationship, she started thinking about therapy.

Jade respected therapy. She'd been actively trying to heal for years, and she'd seen results from her time in therapy. But she had her problems with therapy, like when she got stuck on something trivial, or when her denial got in the way of her feelings, or especially when she felt like she regressed to an earlier stage where she was still hurting. Jade had gone through enough to be unhappy with how those parts worked. She did like that, in the end, she did most of the work while her therapist just helped her sort things out. It made her feel like she was earning her happiness, and so deserved it.

But from her artistic point of view, what bugged her the most was the lack of "Ah Ha" moments. Yes, they happened, those moments when the world seemed to open up and something made perfect sense. Her world, for a brief moment, felt like it would never be the same, and she knew she was somehow different from who she was just fifteen minutes earlier. Jade loved those moments, because they were cinematic, almost magical. They were also frustratingly few and far between.

The more common changes went unnoticed, often overlooked for weeks on end, until something that would trigger a response happened and the response wasn't as noticeable. Or sometimes she would just wake up and understand. Some of her most profound changes seemed to happen without her even being aware they did. Friends or classmates would comment on how different she was, and she just stared at them. She would feel like she always felt, not different, no stronger than before. It was the stealthy nature of healing that bugged her. She never knew just how healthy, how well adapted to her problems she was.

Then there was the permanency of it all. The sudden moments gave the illusion that the scars would heal, and she'd be like everyone else. That the experiences she'd lived through would just be bad dreams that were slowly forgotten. She hated the idea that, with help, she could grow to accept the scars as normal, a part of her that happened in the past. Something she didn't dwell on day to day, but could be reminded of in the right circumstances. Jade particularly hated how she would always be wary if a man is behind her, especially in confined settings. How sometimes her dreams would remind her of what happened, or how she would sometimes see the scars, for her almost invisible thanks to time and medical attention, and she'd be reminded how much it still affected her. She much preferred to think that one day, she'd have an experience and it would all go away.

Those were her concerns about therapy, once more brought up with her impending visit with Tori. Jade was going to be there for Presidents Day Weekend, a long weekend in February, near Valentines Day. It was Tori's last commitment before heading to Europe, and she was hosting Saturday Night Live. Tori was originally supposed to be just the musical guest, but the original host had to pull out at the last minute. Tori asked if she could do both, and now was ready to once again take advantage of a lucky moment and become even more famous. Tori was always lucky like that, being in the right place at the right time, where her talent and charm could help her advance her career. It felt like Fate had planned things out, so while Tori might not get every part or break she wanted, the big ones seemed to fall in her lap.

For her part, Jade was happy about this turn of events. She did remember when jealousy and need would drive her to hate the girl who fate seemed to give all the good luck to, but today she was just happy for one of her friends getting another break. Tori could act, so Saturday was going to be an enjoyable evening. Tori had spent the week in New York getting ready for the show, something Jade and her had talked about during their nightly phone calls. Jade liked the potential surprises that came with the show, so she only talked about the kinds of antics that happen back stage at this kind of show. Jade wanted to feel the experience through Tori's words. Poor Tori wasn't that good of a writer, she didn't think Jade's desire was possible.

However, Tori told her there was more good news. The studio had rented her a condo for the week, and it was big enough for the two of them to share. That was so exciting, and terrifying. For two months, Jade's second therapist, The specialist, had worked with her to overcome her anxiety attacks, partially in preparation for this weekend. The weekend when she saw just how far she could take things with Tori. Jade hated the uncertainty of Therapy. No matter how ready she felt, she wouldn't know for sure if things would happen until they did.

Tori had tried to keep it secret, how much she wanted to be with Jade. The touched, the glances, everything slowly gave away her desire. Tori tried to be patient, but Jade knew that sooner or later they'd face this moment. She was determined to be ready. She was tired of pretending not to notice when Tori groped her. Honestly, sometimes she enjoyed it. And sometimes, she wanted to grope back.

Jade landed that Friday at about ten pm local time, nervous about what Tori had planned. She was picked up by an unexpected driver. Beck, dressed up in a Chauffeur's uniform, was waiting with a sign. Jade approached cautiously.

"Beck." she said.

"We need to talk." He replied, hardly standard, but this wasn't a standard situation. "Lets get your stuff."

"So, Tori sent you? Didn't trust some car service?" Jade said.

"Actually, I'm with the car service. Tori has no Idea I'm here." Beck said. Then, sensing that Jade needed more of an answer. "I sometimes work for the service, to make extra money. I was able to charm my way into getting this pickup. Still using the same type of luggage?" He asked.

Jade realized they had arrived at the Baggage claim, starring at the carousel, but her the luggage from her flight wouldn't be unloaded for a few minutes. She was stuck with Beck. "So, Tori tells me your in a lot of plays. Why the need for extra money?" It was something to talk about.

"Rent here is criminal. Besides, I'm dating a socialite, and even my end of the expenses can be demanding. Driving also sometimes lets me meet interesting people, people with contacts, and it's safer than driving a cab." Beck answered. "I hear you're doing well. Waitress in a nice restaurant, attending Calarts, and dating Tori. Things sure are looking up for you." His voice was almost neutral, but Jade heard just a few drops of venom.

"Look, Beck, I was hoping we could try and be civil, at least until you drop me off. I've been though enough without you calling me a gold-digger." Jade was amazed she'd kept her temper under control. Part of her wanted to beat the chiz out of Beck, for more than one reason. Still, violence in the terminal was not a good idea, and they had made her check her scissors.

"That's the problem." He started, and Jade was wondering if she could catch a cab, but remembered she had no idea where Tori was staying. "Of all your faults, and you have a lot, greed isn't your biggest one. I learned that when you gave Tori back the Platinum music awards. I'd have never believed it if I hadn't seen it myself. Yes, your materialistic and greedy, but now I see that you're far more likely to jank this up trying to prove you're not after her money." He paused, taking a deep breath as he forced himself to continue. "Jade, I admit I was wrong about you. It was so easy to believe you could turn into this monster. Look, they've started. Let me know when you see your bags." Beck said smoothly, transitioning without missing a beat.

"But in my defense, most people believed you were burying animals in the desert. I'm far more ashamed that I never even tried to find out how bad your life was." Another brief pause as he took another deep breath. "And the whole Kyler thing. I'll admit, it was my attempt to save Tori from you. I made two big mistakes there, well, three. I assumed you were bad for Tori, I didn't realize that Kyler could be such a gank, and I underestimated how manipulative Tori could be." Beck looked around suddenly. "Is that yours" He asked, pointing at her keyboard.

"Yea. Don't know why I brought it. Lucky it's so portable. I got this one after I got my scooter. It fits on the back batter." Jade said, not sure what else to say.

"Yeaa. Anyway, I think I was wrong. I hated that I was wrong about you. But more than that, as bad as it makes me feel to say it, I hated that Tori chose you over me. I realized back in High School that she was more interested in you than in me, and it hurt. Also, while I may not have been with you for the best of reasons, it still hurt to see that there was someone who could win you away from me. It made me more of a jerk. I guess I'm saying I'm sorry." He smiled at her, with that smile of his, and offered her a hug. After the hug, he asked her "Got everything?"

"Yea." Jade said, and Beck took her bags.

"Okay. Lets get you to Tori. And Jade, I didn't just try to mend fences for our sake. I needed to tell you something. When the time comes, and Tori asks, you'd better say yes. She needs this. As much as you think you do, she needs this. Maybe more." he said. They walked to the car service parking, where he quickly beeped the car open then put her stuff in the trunk. Jade didn't wait for him to open her door. He was busy. She just looked at the car, really looked, then got in.

Someone had sprung for a limo, standard length, white. Jade began to feel like she was being bought, despite everything Beck had just told her. 'When the time come's, say yes.' Jade was wondering if Tori was going to get Sikowitz to endorse them sleeping together as well. She had time to think about it, even picture it, as they drove in to Manhattan from the airport. She'd flown into JFK because she'd heard how bad LeGuardia could be, but it didin't add that much time to the drive.

They arrived at a downtown Manhattan highrise condominium, expensive by the looks of it. Beck helped her get her stuff out while the doorman looked on. "Mikey, this is Miss Vega's guest. Don't just stand there." Beck said. Mikey, as if suddenly awakened, rushed to take her bags.

"Hi, I'm Mike, but most people call me Mikey. Let me help you up to the room. Miss Vega is out right now, but I've been given instructions to let you in and make sure you're comfortable. If you need anything, and I mean anything, don't hesitate to ask. We have a full time concierge who's ready to help." The doorman said. Quickly, he maneuvered her into the elevator, and one short trip later, he led her down a short hall to one of the few rooms on that level, over twenty stories up. Once the door was open, he led her into the apartment and over to the guest bedroom. "You've got Two bedrooms, each with a fifty two inch plasma screen TV, open living and dining rooms, A full sized kitchen, and just off the master bedroom there's a jacuzzi. Make yourself at home." With that, Mikey left her to herself. Jade was a little surprised he didn't ask for a tip.

Tori made it back a half an hour later. Jade suspected the Friday rehearsals usually went late for a show called Saturday Night Live. Tori was dressed comfortable, in yoga pants and a sweater over some tight fitting blouse. She looked great. Jade knew they were both tired, but also that Tori wanted her. So she was just a tiny bit disappointed when all she got was a quick kiss on her cheek and sent to bed.

The next day, Tori fixed Jade breakfast. It was a reminder that, while Tori could follow directions, she should leave cooking to the professionals. Despite that, Jade loved it. Tori was trying to create a homey atmosphere. Jade felt she was doing a good job, despite the Eight hundred dollar per night condo they were sharing.

After breakfast, Tori took Jade on a quick sightseeing tour, culminating at the SNL studios. Tori had rehearsing to do, and she wanted Jade to be there with her. Jade, for her part, wandered around and played with some of the old costuming. She was managing to have fun despite being stuck in the studio, and being exposed to the performance ahead of schedule. She was watching them editing one of the short films they sometimes show to help break up the show, when she heard her name.

"Jaaaade" Tori called her. "Oh Jaaade." Jade decided to see what she wanted before she broke out the pet names. It was embarrassing enough, that excited walk Tori had, the same one Andre commented on back at Hollywood Arts.

"What?" Jade tried not to snap. She really tried.

"I have a surprise for youuu." Tori was practically singing.

Jade made her way to where Tori was standing next to the SNL weekend Update set. "Okay, what do you want me to see now?" Jade wished she could sound enthusiastic, but to her Tori was ruining the show by giving her the sneak peak.

"Just that you get to have a two minute skit in the Weekend Update segment. You'd better start rehearsing now, so you'll be ready by the time the show begins." Tori was glowing. Jade didn't know what to do. Screaming was beneath her, but thank you seemed inadequate. Tori was definitely getting some tonight.

It was a throw away sketch, Jade playing one of the stupid experts they sometimes have on this kind of show. Jade worked with the writers to make it her own bit, drawing on Cat as inspiration. She slowly morphed the political expert into the same naive innocence that believed everything that came from Fox News. Soon, she was getting laughs just from the voices she could do. And then that was also in the act, and she found her part expanding to almost three minutes, about as long as any sketch could be during the weekend Update.

Jade was quickly whisked away to wardrobe, and tried on several outfits. She wanted to avoid pink, despite how it fit the character. She decided on a very professional suit in navy blue, and a more schizophrenic character who vacillated from innocent to belligerent, and from there to multiple personality's who debate themselves. Jade had fun helping to develop the character and the act. The last minute adjustments were being done since the supposedly live show taped at eight, and was replayed at eleven.

After the show, where Jade both did her skit and helped with the production, the two young lovers retreated to the condo. It was close to midnight, and both were exhausted, but neither was going to be ready for sleep for quite a while. Tori started heating up the hot tub, and while it warmed up, she opened a bottle of wine. Jade got changed into her swimsuit and put her hair up. They were talking about everything that happened, how Tori had begged until they agreed to let Jade audition for that spot. Jade wowed them, and some of the cast was wondering if she might have more. Jade let it drop at the after party. She had made her first appearance on TV, but just wanted to see how she looked on screen. She reminded herself to call Tori's parents, since they'd probably DVR'd it, and ask them to burn her a copy. Andre could do it with his laptop.

Jade slowly slid into the water, allowing the bubbles to help her relax. There was a view out of the large, tinted window that made up most of one wall of the small room where the jacuzzi was. Jade looked at the city, wonder filling her at just how big the whole thing was. It was after midnight, and may people were still hours from done. The city never slept.

"It's quite the sight. I loved sitting here, soaking after a long day rehearsing." Tori said. "Just looking at the city."

Jade wasn't looking at the city any more. The simulated candle light gave just enough illumination to clearly see that Tori wasn't wearing a top. Jade suspected that under the towel she was wearing as a skirt, she didn't have anything on either. Jade averted her eyes.

"God, Jade, I'm sorry. I thought you'd be cool with me being naked. I forgot.." Tori started.

"It's okay. Nothing I haven't seen before. We had gym, remember. It just took me of guard." Jade stammered. Chiz just got real.

"I don't think you stared during gym. It's okay. I can put something on if you'd like." Tori said. "Or I can just slip into the water like this. It doesn't mean anything. I just like to relax this way." Jade didn't say anything, but motioned for Tori to join her. A very naked Latina was soon in the hot tub with her. It was a four person tub, so there was plenty of room. However, Jade kept looking at Tori. It was silent for what seemed like an eternity.

"I-I wasn't expecting you to be so...forward." Jade said,

"We're not going to do anything you don't want us to do. No safe word. No means no. Just tell me and I'll back off." Tori said, smiling at the goth. "So, Jade, mind if I get a little closer?"

Jade smiled, shifting for Tori to sit next to her. She smiled at the singer. It was a strange seduction. Tori was just putting her desires out there, and asking if it was okay. No pressure. Still, Jade's heart was pounding in her chest and she wasn't sure if she was sober or drunk enough for what was about to happen. Then she found something she just had to tell her girlfriend.

"Tori, I need to talk to you about something. It's kinda embarrassing." Jade said. Tori was touching her arm, slowly caressing it, but going no further.

"It's okay. You can tell me anything. I want you to be able to trust me." Tori was nervous. She was taking all the risks here, but also worried that Jade had things she couldn't tell, or worse, things that would give them both nightmares.

"I haven't...God why is this so hard." Jade said. Then she quickly gathered up her courage and spat out "I haven't had an orgasm since I was with Beck." Seeing the look on Tori's face she continued "Back when I was sixteen." Tori's look didn't change.

"You mean, with another person, or just..." Tori said. She didn't know why it mattered, but it was better than being reminded of Jade's past, both good and bad.

"I haven't been able to touch myself that way. For the longest time, What Richard did to me would come up when I closed my eyes. Sometimes the breaker makes a cameo. I've also been afraid I was broken somehow. You know, down there." Jade looked at Tori, feeling ashamed.

"And I'm here, naked, pushing you.." Tori started, sounding dejected.

"No, Tori, I want this. I've been working with a specialist about my panic attacks, but I haven't had the courage to give the equipment a test yet. It may not work." Jade said.

"Panic attacks?" Tori repeated back. Tori had backed up, just a little, and Jade could see the ook of concern on the singers face.

"Lets not get caught up in the details. You worked hard on this. Hot tub just off from the bedroom. A convenient excuse to be naked. Tori, we shouldn't let your effort go to wast. Just, lets take it slowly, okay?" Jade said.

They started slowly, looking out the window at the city lights, holding hands. Soon they were kissing, and kisses became caresses and both girls explored with their hands and mouths. Jade allowed Tori to remove her top, and soon found something, one thing, with almost no negative memories attached. While Jade's breasts had been subject to more than a little groping, none of her assailants had ever bothered with oral stimulation.

Tori enjoyed licking Jade's breasts. Each nipple was slowly licked, sucked and gently nibbled in turn. Soft moans escaped Jade's lips. The actress returned the favor, enjoying the effects those actions had on Tori. Tori allowed herself time to enjoy the attention, then started her next task. She slowly kissed Jade's lips, then kissed a line across her jaw to her neck and below the ears. Tori then memorized each point that got a reaction out of Jade, and used that knowledge to help prepare for phase three. As the goth was panting and moaning, Tori's hand slid to the swimsuit and started moving it off her body completely.

"Is this Okay?" She asked, when Jade noticed what she was doing. Jade needed time to think. She wasn't processing everything normally. Once she registered the question, she lifted her hips to make it easier. Then she was naked, and Tori was back working on Jade sensitive points. One hand moved around near Jade's core, but only ghosted across as Tori teased her lover. Jade was lost in the feeling. She'd managed to enjoy sex with Beck, but this was different. Tori was working hard to enhance every second, keeping Jade aroused without approaching climax.

Tori pulled Jade away from the edge of the tub, shifting the writer so she could use the water to help her lift Jade's hips up until the actress was floating in the hot tub, her head resting against the edge and her feet touching the other side. Tori then used her tong to start drawing lines up Jade's inner legs. Once Tori had marked her territory, she started licking and nibbling gently at Jade's entire pussy. Jade felt like she was gone, nothing more than the pleasurable sensations along her core and the growing tension of her impending climax, riding the feeling for a long time, until finally she felt herself let go. Tori continued to minister to her until Jade had ridden out the orgasm. It was intense, leaving Jade feeling temporarily spent.

Jade recovered quickly. Determination showed on her face as she started licking Tori's neck.

"Nope. Not gonna happen. Not that way." Tori said. The singer maneuvered Jade back near her sitting position, but threaded her own legs between the other girls. Once Tori had Jade where she wanted her, one leg over one of Jade's with the other under the goths other, she had them start moving. Tori had planned this out, and managed to grind her pussy against Jades for a long time. Jade felt her body react, and far more quickly this time, she came again.

A short time later, as Jade was coming back to herself, she saw Tori reach climax. Jade was intrigued by how magical an experience it could be to share that experience with another. It had been years since she'd shared a moment like this with Beck. A moment that had her convinced she was going to be with him forever. Now she looked in the brown eyes of her lover, she felt the same connection.

Jade knew then. 'Oh crap, I really am in love.' Jade just smiled to herself as she held Tori. They enjoyed the next few minutes in each others arms.

"Um, Jade... I really don't want this moment to end, but I think we should get out and go to bed." Tori whispered. Jade didn't want to let go either. In the moment, after she managed to let go of her fears, she'd suppressed the flashbacks and allowed herself to enjoy sex. The second time was easier. Jade didn't want to let go of the magic of the moment.

So, a short time later, they dragged themselves out of the tub. Tori retrieved Jade's swimsuit, rung it out, and hung it up in the bathroom. Jade had wrapped herself in a towel, and was drying off. Tori followed suit.

Once they were both dry, Tori took Jade's hand and led her to the king sized bed in the master bedroom.

"We can just cuddle, if you like." Tori said. Jade knew if they got in bed together, they were going to do a lot more than cuddle. It was an easy decision. Soon the two of them were asleep.

The next day, Jade awoke to find herself alone in bed. At first, it took her a moment to realize where she was. Then, she was momentarily hurt that she was alone, until she remembered that this was Tori's bed. The Latina was bound to come back soon. Jade found a bathrobe and made her way across the open living room towards the second bedroom, and her clothing. She made it only a few steps when she saw Tori, still in her robe, cooking.

"So what the plan for today?" Jade asked. She hoped Tori was keeping it simple.

"To work my way into your pants." Tori said. "I was ready to do whatever it took to win your trust." She was smiling.

"So now that you have it, you planning to show me around? Or is my body all you're after?" Jade said, smirking.

"That's an option?" Tori replied. "Seriously, we can do some sight seeing. I just want to spend time with you. Maybe, if you're ready, we can call Beck and meet him for dinner."

"We've talked. He called me while I was on the plane. We talked. Made up. Kinda." Jade said. She didn't want to tell Tori about his working for the car service.

"Did he tell you he was sorry about Kyler?" Tori asked.

"Yea. He's on board with us as a couple. Even having those pervy fantasies about us. Told me to say yes when you asked me to sleep with you." Jade said, looking out the window.

Jade looked back to see Tori focused on the eggs. Really focused, like she was avoiding something. That's when things fell into place. "That's not what he was talking about, was it?"

"I wasn't planning on asking you this weekend." Tori said, still giving the eggs far more focus than normal.

"So you were planning on asking? When did you decide?" Jade said. She was seething, but the anger was born out of fear.

"What, That I'd marry you, or that I was going to ask?" Tori said, suddenly angry.

"Lets start with the first." Jade said back, holding her anger.

"How about when you failed to fight for me." Tori shot back.

"What? That-that was almost a year ago." Jade was floored. Her anger retreated as her confusion grew.

"About ten months." Tori snapped. Then, slightly calmer. "Why the fuck did you think I was so fucking angry with you. I thought Jade West was going to claim me as her wife, and I wouldn't ever go used and unloved again. But nooo, you still had all those problems." Tori stopped, looked at Jade, then ran from the kitchen to hug her girlfriend. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry."

For her part, Jade wasn't angry, not anymore. She still had a part that felt she deserved whatever she was going to get. She held Tori for a short while, dislodging only to go save their breakfast. Jade also poured herself a cup of coffee. "Tori, I love you. I understand how you must have felt. Believe me, I know what it's like to believe that no one loves me. It's okay."

"So anyway," Tori starts "I was thinking maybe I should just put it out there. You know, let you know how I feel. Wasn't planning on this conversation until you joined me during spring break." Tori hugged Jade from behind, putting her chin on Jade's shoulder. The eggs were done, and as Jade was serving them, Tori didn't want to let go. "How about this. I let you decide. When you're ready, you ask me. I won't ask again, well until I get impatient." Tori smiled.

"You watch too much Big Bang theory." Jade replied. Then she turned n Tori's arms and kissed her. "Okay. Just don't expect me to purpose too soon."

Breakfast was eaten in an eerie quiet. Tori said far more than she'd intended, so wasn't going to push her luck yet, while Jade was worried that the next conversation would further change things. As they finished breakfast, Tori took the risk of speaking again.

"Um, Jade, not that I want to start trouble, but we need to change another part of our relationship." Tori said, trying to sound neutral. Jade felt her heart skip a beat.

'God, what now? Is she planning on breaking up with me? No, we were talking about getting married. I think she meant it too, so what's she want?' Jade knew she would have to ask.

"Now what." She said.

"Europe. It occurred to me that, in addition to the expense of constantly flying back and forth, once summer comes, you would have to give up your job and housing to come with me." Tori said.

"So you don't want me to visit?" Jade asked.

"Oh I want you to visit. I've worked out a deal with a charter service. They will give me a great deal for the next three months, and you fly with them each time. It's cheaper than the alternative. You'd be with me only one day per weekend, and it's a hell of a trip. But that's not the point." Tori said. "The point I, you can get another crappy job, it's the living situation that needs to be addressed. I think I should help you with finding a new place to live."

"No. I can handle that. I've got a lot of money saved up, almost thirty thousand. I can last a while if I have to." Jade said.

"But I have a place in Hollywood, and I'm buying another one." Tori said. "I mean, I'm going to buy a house soon. I figure I'm worth it, and I need a yard for our children to play in. You know, when we have kids." Jade was terrified. She knew exactly what she was seeing. Tori had, at some point, planned out their entire lives together. The Latina hadn't yet let go of those fantasies, so she was trying to make them real.

"Please don't tell me you've named them." Jade said. When Tori cocked her head, Jade clarified. "The children."

"I'm just saying, you cold get yourself an internship at one of the studios, and commute to school. You could even live with Andre and Trina." Tori said. Then she realized she'd included Trina, and Jade looked ready to say something. Her only option now was a strong offense, so Tori threw caution to the wind. "The point is, I'm going to take care of you. You can do it the easy way, or the hard way." Tori did her best approximation of Jade's smirk.

"Lets try the hard way." Jade said.

By the time she flew out the next day, Jade was amazed her legs worked. Somehow, it never occurred to her that Tori would use angry sex to get her way. 'Sexy and manipulative. Man, I'm gonna _have_ to marry her now.'

:}

Sorry about my attempt at smut. Hope you enjoyed the rest of the chapter.

Don't expect wedding bells soon. They've got a little while first. Maybe after they've spent the summer together, and that's after spring break.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (You're past the physical stuff, but the fallout remains)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Jade was still thinking about Tori's offer the first time she boarded the flight to Europe. It was a small, private plane that was taking a few business executives to a retreat. Jade flew "Standby", which for this airline was a fancy way of saying she was in the less comfortable section usually reserved for the flight crew. She had to sit/lie there for the entire flight, using their restroom. The only good news was the flight was faster than the airlines were. On a traditional flight, such a trip would take ten and a half to fifteen hours, depending on where in Europe they were going. However, the **The Gulfstream G650** the charter company used flew almost two hundred mile per hour faster, and had shorter waits at the airport, thus cutting two hours or more off the flight.

Still, eight to ten hours was a long time to be in the air, and Jade didn't have a lot of room to move about. She was allowed to use some of the amenities that the main charter users had, like access to movies and the internet. Jade did her homework, surfed the net, napped, and watched the safety instructions starring international pop star Tori Vega. It was amusing to watch Tori use her charm and wit to instruct the passengers about where the emergency exits were, how to deal with the sudden loss of cabin pressure, and what to do in the event of a water landing. Jade started to realize the 'great deal' Tori got was a trade. She wondered if the humiliation of being their spokeswoman was enough to get Jade into the comfortable accommodations, but let it slide when she realized she was piggybacking on the corporate types who were paying for the flight.

Once in Europe, Jade joined the tour for the day. She enjoyed her time with Tori, including snuggle time, and was learning a lot about busing through Europe. After twenty four hours, just enough time to look around, enjoy some culture, enjoy the show, and then enjoy Tori, Jade found herself on board another fast flight back home to LA. It was a repeat of the last flight, but a different plane and she had to switch in San Francisco. They didn't always have direct flights, but did what they could to honor their part of the deal.

Jade's life was hardly boring. School work was going along nicely, while work at the restaurant was keeping her busy. Jade needed to keep busy. Everyone she knew had seen her on SNL, and she was living the fifteen minutes of fame from that appearance. Her roommates wanted to know everything that happened, while her parents, and their friends, increased their interest in her life. Everyone wanted details. The how, who, and what that got her on the show. Jade expected it to die down, but for her family, roommates and friends, this was a huge deal.

Jade found that her so called fifteen minutes also drew people who claimed to know her like flies to honey. Jade used it as a form of training for when she was really famous and had everyone looking for her autograph or a moment of her time. She was startled to see how hard it was for her to slip into gank mode and rip strangers apart. She wasn't gushing, but when strangers recognized her from her appearance, she acted humble, and said she wasn't finished in school yet but once she was, she hoped to show the world just what she could do. She wasn't so nice to the two proposals she got. To her, this fame was all the hassle and none of the perks.

So by the time Jade left for spring break, she was looking forward to a break from the artificial fame. She knew she'd get to see more of Europe, and she was looking forward to seeing as much as she could during the week she'd be with the tour. Jade knew it wasn't going to be much, but they were going to be in Spain, and since she spoke some Spanish, she could enjoy some of the sights off the regular tours. Jade wasn't the normal touristy type of person, but she felt she had a duty to see both some of the historical sights, as well as how the real Spaniards lived. She wanted to understand the people of Spain, not just drive through and take a few pictures. It was the writer in her, always wanting to understand.

Then there was the drama. Of course, the regular backup singers didn't like the extra's brought in for parts of the tour. They understood Tori was paying for her friends to come along, but felt it undermined their contributions to the show. Plus, these friends of the star were weird. They'd endured the strangeness that was Cat, the madness that was Andre's various short lived love's, and now had to live through two more of Tori's high school buddies. They knew Jade, Tori's secret girlfriend, was coming, and they were not thrilled about spending the week with her. While Jade had made inroads with the band during her previous visits, the backup singers felt she should know her role and stay off stage. They wanted her to just stay back stage during the performances and earn her keep by screwing Tori. They had not warmed to her, and felt that anyone who was on stage needed to audition and earn their place. It was a cold reception, doubly so because they knew Tori's other friends could perform.

It didn't help matters that Tori was so excited to see her. While Jade wanted to spend time with her girlfriend, Tori was practically rabid over her chance to spend a week with Jade. And Jade enjoyed it all, the talking, the cuddling, and the dancing. Jade loved dancing with Tori. They had danced around the hotel room during her last visit. This time they'd have a week to dance and make fools of themselves.

Jade was also looking forward to being on stage, even in the background. Saturday Night Live had reminded her of how much she needed the adoration, and while this was Tori's time to shine, Jade would take what she could get. Performing on stage with the added protection of a backup singers anonymity would help remind her what it's like to be famous, and not the fake fame of her one TV appearance.

On top of everything else, there was her project. Earlier, Jade had asked Tori if she could do her student film as a mock documentary on the life of backup singers. She, along with Tori, would play the singers, while she would find others to play the parts of the documentation and the tour's star. It was going to be new to her, doing comedy, but she knew she had to stretch if she was going to continue to grow as an artist. Besides, good improve would save her the task of a detailed script.

Jade didn't trust just anyone to play the two other essential roles. Any idiot could be the interviewer, but the larger than life singer had to be someone willing to be seen as a complete fool. Someone who Jade could trust to follow instructions, and who could improvise to keep the scene going. Mostly, they had to be willing to be outrageous and maybe ridiculous to sell the idea of the detachment from reality mega stars seemed to develop after a while.

Jade asked around until she'd found her leading man, and he was perfect. Nothing that could happen to him could embarrassed him more than his entire high school experience. Yes, Jade had recruited Robbie, who was not just happy to be part of the project, but honestly missed Jade and the way she treated him. Yes, she was a gank, but she was that way to everyone, and so she was fair to him. The awkward boy appreciated that, and how she would forgive him his biggest quirks. Maybe she would try to shove Rex into another wood chipper, but she was willing to accept his need for the puppet...

Jade's luck continued to shine when The puppeteer was able to take the time off. His school was going into finals, but for once in his life, he was ahead. He was taking twenty units at California Polytechnic State University in Sal Luis Obispo, CA. It was a common enough tactic at schools that close to the beach to take a heavy load for the winter so that the student could take a light load for the spring. In this case, half his classes required a final paper instead of a final exam, and he'd already finished those. Then his theater class (For his minor) was willing to have a paper on his experiences on the tour replace that final. With only one test to prepare for, on line access to keep up with his classes, and enough time to get ready, Robbie had more reasons to go than to stay. So Robbie would sing backup on the tour, while also playing Jade's fictional Rock God who's caught up in his own image. It was a fun, exciting week, and the would be comedian was ecstatic.

Robbie, it seemed, had all but given up on acting or comedy as a profession. He'd chosen Cal. Poly because comedic music icon "Weird Al Yankovic." had attended and hoped to find his own path to comedy gold in the highly academic halls. Instead, he was working on a business degree, while failing to make a splash in any entertainment related endeavor he tried. Worse, the director of the university theater club took a dislike to him, so he had to work his ass off to get even small roles. Jade's project was his chance to act again.

Tori took the news of Robbie's involvement far better than expected. She loved the chance to spend time with her old friend, while getting to ham it up in Jade's production. The whole time he was around, Tori was laughing. Visiting sights, performing in front of thousands of people, or playing roles backstage, Tori, Robbie and Jade had a good time. The Band also enjoyed the visit. To them, Jade was an interesting and dark figure. Besides, she understood production and didn't try to take one of their spots. Her uses outweighed her negatives. While Robbie's willingness to be the one laughed at made him the most popular of Tori's friends to visit the tour.

Still, it was the project that was both the most fun and helped to smooth over the ruffled feathers the backup singers felt. They were annoyed about Tori's insistence of having her old friends sing backup, just so she could spend the week with them, but the project helped them feel valued. While Rex played the interviewer, which miffed everyone, several members of Tori's band and entourage got minor cameos in the film. In one memorable improvised scene, Luther had the chance to play a crazed fan. It started when Andrea, a slight girl who was one of the regular backup singers, suggested they reverse the roles and that Luther play the crazed fan. Andy would then haul him away. But what made the comedy work was the inspired improve work of Robbie.

"It's sad you know." the comedian said, looking ridiculous wearing some of Tori's costuming over his normal suit. "I don't usually have much trouble with my fan base. The teens, the young girls especially, show so much respect. Even my small gay following is very reserved. It's my straight male fans, specifically the large over thirty segment, that follows my every move and just cannot seem to control themselves." Robbie deadpanned the whole speech, and left Tori laughing on the floor.

Other members of her entourage found smell roles, often finding Robbie over the top rock star to be a great funny man who could work of whatever they gave him. So many little scenes were filmed that the project was ballooning from it's original required twenty minute format. By the end of the week Jade was worrying about the six hours of footage they had improvised, not counting multiple takes. Jade dutifully marked who was in what and readied herself for the long editing that awaited her back home.

The whole experience was a joyous week of visiting with friends and making new ones. However, Tori never let Jade forget the two issues that sat between them. It was the only thing, besides Rex snagging the role of the interviewer, that detracted from the fun of the week. Tori reminded Jade about how she'd take care of the goth. Jade could go on tour during the summer, enjoying herself and the company of both Andre and Robbie (Who was happy to spend his summer traveling), and Tori would make sure she had a place to live when she got back. And of course, that offer played into the evil plot to remove every argument Jade could have against marrying Tori. Jade felt the issue being drawn forward with each reminder about her living situation.

On the last day before they flew back, Jade took Tori aside to talk to her.

"Look, Tori, I'll make you a deal. I want to continue to live on my own for the rest of my scholastic career. I need the freedom. Once I graduate, you know, get my masters, then we can live together. So here's my first offer. Let me handle the rent and stuff for the last year, and I promise I'll marry you as soon as I have the masters." Jade expected a lot of give and take during the negotiations. She was expecting to have to withdraw the offer and never bring it up again, since she was asking to live on her own for an extra nine to ten months. It never occurred to her that the offer to make their relationship 'official' would carry so much weight. Before she could think about what she said, Tori had kissed her. Only after that, did the Latina speak.

"As long as you propose, and I mean some kind of ring I can wear, before the summer ends." Tori said. Just like that, they had their deal.

For the rest of the school year, Jade visited Tori ever other weekend for a day, then flew back. Sometimes, the other passengers would be cool and let her sit with them. One recognized her from SNL. Others would insist they never see her, and one wanted her to sleep with him. Jade spent that flight with the pilots. Randy as they were, they kept their distance. Jade's reputation, mixed with warnings from their employers, kept the flight staff on their best behavior.

During that time, Jade also edited her film like her life depended on it. Post production of a major Hollywood film could take anywhere from six months to a year, Jade's film was supposed to only be twenty minutes, so she thought two months was more than enough to edit, add music, and do whatever else needed to be finished for her film. Now she was editing it down to two and a quarter hours, recording and adding music to cover background as well as add to the moments where she and Tori sang bits of old songs Andre had written back in high school. It was exhausting. Jade was overworking herself to the point where she was editing or sleeping on the flights to and from Tori. Even if it killed her, Jade was going to be ready on time.

Then there was the whole apartment hunt. Jade made arrangements with her THP Plus for her to move out the day she flew off to spend the summer touring with Tori. Then, she drove her scooter around to check out the few apartments she was interested in. Jade quickly realized, unless she wanted a hell hole like she used to live in, she would need to get a one bedroom. There were no studio's available within five miles of Calarts. Her other option was renting a room in someones house. The first argument in favor of renting a room was it would be cheaper. Also, Jade was used to roommates, so decided to go that rout. It saved her the embarrassment of Officer Vega's negotiations. He'd planned to negotiate terms with the landlord, exchanging a years paid rent for a discount of some sort. Jade felt she got lucky avoiding his help. No one likes an overbearing father figure.

Once she started looking at rooms for rent, she started seeing the kinds of freaks and humanoids she who could be her landlords or housemates. For every decent person renting a room to help ends meet or otherwise make money, there was some guy who thought a pretty girl, living alone, was looking for a boyfriend, lover, or already had someone and was going to party her ass off. Jade had to tell three separate potential landlords her fiance's father was a cop.

Jade's next hurdle was easily handled. The landlord and roommates she'd found would look after her stuff while she was in Europe. All that was expected was she rent the room for the whole time, including the months she would be out, and they would allow her to store her stuff there. The one she chose even agreed to store her scooter in the garage. Jade's room was thirteen feet by eleven feet, and had access to a private bathroom. There were to be no loud parties, and she wasn't supposed to have anyone spend the night. (They understood special circumstances). Jade had to promise she didn't party all night either. It was a quiet neighborhood, and the landlord liked to keep it that way. The house didn't have much in the way of extras, no pool or jacuzzi, but it did have a comfortable living room, access to the kitchen, a laundry room with washer and dryer, and both a second refrigerator and an extra freezer in the garage. It was more than enough, so Jade rented one of two room that each had their own bathroom. The other tenant was also a girl, and attended a different near by school. Jade didn't get a chance to know her before the semester was over and her film was due.

Jade was ready. Her visits to Europe had included two different recording sessions, just to get the duets with Tori. She also had to do two with Robbie, but those were easier to arrange, complete with professional equipment and engineers. It was funny how the difference in the sound quality fit the rolls everyone had.

As she was editing her film together, another hurdle presented itself. Rather, a hurdle she knew she'd have to face couldn't be delayed any longer. Before she could show her film, she had to arrange a visit with Mason Thorsmith. Jade needed a release for Tori's vocals in the film, plus the music for the soundtrack. She'd gotten Tori to sign, but Mason had rights to her music and image. He couldn't do anything about her appearing in the movie, but he could keep Jade from using any music involving Tori. At first, Mason had agreed in return for a portion of the profits, if any. Then, during their meeting, he started asking questions about the project. Once he heard what she did, he changed his request. He'd sign in return for a small fee if it makes any money, as well as distribution rights for the soundtrack. If the film never made any money, or played in pubic, then she owed him nothing. However, if the film ever made even a dime, she owed him something. And if the movie got a public release, he'd be the one distributing the soundtrack and making the label's cut. Finally, he wanted to see the movie. Jade invited him to the Calarts screening.

Masons deal was something Jade was prepared for, but totally misunderstood. Jade still thought it was a favor to Tori. In reality, Masons keen business sense had kicked in. He thought it would be a hit, possibly on direct to DVD, but a money making hit. Further, the music was by Andre, and Mason knew Andre plus Tori often equaled a hit. So all it took for him to have a potential profit was a signature on a contract, and the possible cost of burning the CD's for the soundtrack. Everything else was done, paid for, and he could just rake in whatever profits came his way. It was a showing of faith. Someday, he knew, this project would make money.

Jade's hard work had paid off, and just before the final due date, she was able to show her adviser her finished product. The one hundred and thirty three minute cut of "Backup, the story of a support singer." was well received, with laughter in all the right places. There was shock and surprise when the class saw Tori was her costar, but that was expected. The real surprise came at the end. Her adviser told her that he was submitting her film to the Alan Smithee Film Festival. She had a good chance of being selected, and if she was, her film would be seen by movers and shakers throughout Hollywood.

Jade suddenly had a problem. If the film was selected, she would need to be home before the film festival, just to make sure everything ran smoothly. Checking the dates, she saw the festival ran the first two weeks of September. Jade's school didn't start until the third week of September, and Tori's European tour lasted until the end of September. Giving herself a week to make sure everything ran smoothy, Jade would miss the last five weeks o the tour.

Jade called Tori with the news. Tori was understanding, accepting everything except the schedule. Jade wouldn't be able to come visit Tori during the festival. five weeks away from each other would break the two week rule. Both agreed it was too good an opportunity, so Jade allowed her film to be submitted and prayed things would work out. She also promised to visit as soon as the festival was over, or at the end of her first week of school at the latest.

The next disappointment was expected. Tori would be in Europe during Jade's graduation. Tori had hoped to be able to get to Hollywood for the even, but had to send her congratulations via her family and friends, who all clamored for tickets to the ceremony. Jade's supporters filled a section, with supporters including her social worker, Doctor Bowers, Her roommates and adviser from THP Plus, her mother, father, step mother, both brothers, her sister, The three Vega's (Trina was graduating too, but wouldn't be done for another month. Still, she made the trip to represent Tori), Andre, Cat, Sam, Robbie, Beck, Mason (Who hid in the VIP section), some people from the restaurant, and Ginny. It was surreal. So many people and she felt lonely. Still, she managed to have fun and enjoy her day.

She graduated on a Saturday, and moved on the following Sunday. Jade attended church with the Vega family, a condition of their helping her. From there, she was quickly moved her stuff out of the THP Plus and into the room she was renting. It was partially disheartening that Jade's whole life fit into the back of a U-Haul cargo van. Jade had also gotten used to the things the THP Plus provided, and had not owned her own desk in years. Jade also had to pick up a bed, since unlike her last two places, the room she was renting was totally unfurnished.

Both were handled by the Vega clan. David Vega had gone to the furniture store and picked up a build it yourself desk. He spent the entire time the others were moving Jade possessions building it. He seemed happy and in his element. Andre offered to help put it together, and Jade was left wondering why they needed so many tools for a pre-cut build it yourself desk, but she marked it up to testosterone poisoning. Both men enjoyed helping out, building the desk and talking about the view Jade's new room had.

The bed had been handled by Trina, who simply went to a bed store on Friday and acquired a hotel quality queen sized bed plus a nice frame. She arranged for it to be delivered that Sunday. Trina then went to some other stores to get the rest. Trina bought sheets, quilt, pillows, and two large stuffed animals. She had them with her, in her car, and moved them into the room with everything else. Once the bed was delivered, Jade started making it as if everything was expected. It helped calm her.

On the outside, Jade was happy for the help her extended family had given her in moving in. Inwardly, Jade was pissed. The writer was expecting to pay for the bed, along with everything else she was going to need. She wasn't expecting more than help moving from the various Vega's who had infested her room. When she started to tell them she didn't need their charity, and would pay for everything, Holly handed her a graduation card from Tori that included a note.

The note read "You can call it a graduation present, or you can just accept that I'm going to be taking care of you. Either way, I wanted you to have a nice place to sleep and two friends to keep strangers out of your bed. That's my place their keeping." Jade laughed at the note. No explanation was given for the desk, but Jade felt she should just let it go. The office chair, courtesy of Andre, was not questioned. Partially because he'd already given the explanation.

"An office near where one of my friends worked was going out of business. I snagged three chairs, and thought you might like one." Jade just looked at the musician and rolled her eyes. She had to accept Tori was going to take care of her. She had no idea Andre was telling the truth.

:}

Hope you enjoyed the return of Robbie. Lets hear it for his unique talent that made him invaluable, both for this story, and for multiple plots during the last season of the show.

I know, by now, you've looked up Alan Smithee. For those who haven't, you're missing a joke.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (You're past the physical stuff, but the fallout remains)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Jade was sure, after everything she'd been through, the last thing she needed was to redefine torture. Especially not when dealing with her now reborn love life. And over the summer, Jade found two new definitions. They weren't in the same class as the breaker, or how Richard had abused her, but they still ate away at her, driving her to distraction. They were still forms of torture. Maybe torture was way too strong a word, but it felt like it anyways.

The first was the way Tori was treating her. The Latina had assumed the roll of pursuer in their relationship. That meant flowers, and little gifts, and a million other things to remind Jade that Tori cared. They also, probably unintentionally, reminded Jade that Tori had the money to do these things. To the singers credit, she kept everything small, little reminders of her devotion, with the notable exception of Jade's birthday.

After over a month of touring, dancing on the tour bus, singing silly songs to each other, and doing a whole list of other stuff so sappy that Jade knew she'd have to kill people if it ever got out, Tori planned Jade's birthday party. It was a simple idea, fly all of Jade's close friends and family out for a few days, and rent out a nice, small venue for it. Tori got a good rate at a hotel along the way, luckily just a few hours drive from all her shows for the days around Jade's birthday. Tori also found a great price on a helicopter service, so they could more quickly make if to and from her shows. Then she chartered a plane and flew out close to twenty people to celibate Jade's birthday with her and Tori. Even her parents couldn't say no to a free vacation, so Jade was quickly surrounded by people she cared about. But it cost. Jade didn't know how much, but just knew it was far too much to spend on her birthday. She'd had birthdays celebrated with a cupcake and a candle, she felt she didn't need that much.

Mason showed up, laughing at how expensive the whole thing seemed. Tori had arranged some real bargains, but it still cost in the hundreds of thousands. As his gift, he helped foot the bill. He even flew the rest of Tori's band in for the event, then out for the show they had that night. To Mason, the mortified look of gratitude, shame and rage on Jade's face was worth the expense. He felt he owed her this kind of experience at least once, to make up for the switch she perpetrated at the Platinum Music Awards. Mason was there to support his performer, but that didn't mean her couldn't deal with other business.

It turned out, for Mason, this was more than just a party, it was a business trip. And one thing Mason knew was how to write off the expenses of a business trip, no matter how luxurious. He wanted to make sure that the credits on her film made it clear the soundtrack was available from Neutronium records. If it sold like he thought it would, then he would be able to write off the whole party as a business expense, kind of like a launch party. Also, he had every intent of financing Jade's next movie, assuming he agreed with her story. He'd heard she loved horror, and those films almost always made money. It was going to be an interesting entrance into the movie industry, and he was enjoying every moment of it.

At the same time, Jade didn't know how to react. It was far too expensive, and if flaunted the money Tori had. Worse, while it paved the way for her father, who was always interested in the bottom line, to accept Tori marrying Jade, it also made her feel like a gold digger. Jade felt helpless to change peoples attitude of her, convinced that she was being pushed into a role she didn't want. Besides, any party that has non-disclosure agreements had to have something wrong.

Tori, for her part, hid behind the idea that Jade was turning twenty one, and hadn't had any of her other milestones properly celebrated. She kept telling everyone not in on the romance (Were there any here?) that she was making up for all the times Jade didn't get a party. It was real enough for Tori, but hid her promise to take care of the goth. Tori felt she owed Jade this party. She barely recognized how it helped her band and crew relax after touring for so long.

Between her massive twenty first birthday and Tori's pursuit, Jade was enjoying herself, even if she'd never admit it out loud. The feelings of being in loved, of being watched out for, made her feel special. She didn't mind singing backup every night, or that she was exhausted from the travel. To Jade, it was being in love again, and spending the time with the one she loved. As long as she didn't feel bought. It wasn't about the things as much as the emotions, and Jade was feeling the love. Even if she had to put up with Tori 'taking care' of her.

Jade kept in contact with Doctor Bowers. Being away from her therapy had been one of her fears, but the doctor had assured her that the trip would do her some good. They also arranged for Jade to have contacts she could speak to in Europe if she needed them. Jade would probably resume therapy once she was back in the U.S. And slowly taper down to quarterly check-ins. While she'd made a lot of progress, her condition was going to need to be monitored for the rest of her life.

After the events of her birthday, Tori added something to their relationship. It started as a question, "Would you like to try a dildo?" It was an understandable question. There was the whole trauma the various sexual assaults Jade had endured. But it went a bit deeper. There was a small number of women who didn't like or need penetration. Oral sex was said to be more satisfying. Tori was checking things out, making sure of Jade was okay with experimenting before changing things up. Also, it would change the dynamics just a touch. There was a psychological effect from the positions used in sex. Tori would be taking what is often called the dominant position.

Within a week, Tori had discreetly acquired a couple of "Toys". It took a lot of trust for Jade to allow Tori to use one on her, and Jade had to be facing her. No other images could be allowed in her mind. After a few tries, it became a part of their lovemaking. Tori liked the strapless strapons and similar devices that let her make love to Jade, look her in the eye, and be receiving pleasure as well. Tori learned, with Jade, it was about multiple orgasms. Get her off once, and she relaxes into the use of the toys. Tori was greatly enjoying the new dimension to their sex life. She loved that there was one place she could make Jade feel wonderful.

As August was coming to a close, and Jade was looking at a week before she had to go home, she was reminded about her deal with Tori. She'd almost forgot what she'd promised Tori. Luckily, Mason wouldn't let her. After her party, he made a point of staying in contact with her about the Alan Smithee Memorial film festival. He was sure it would launch her career as a filmmaker, even if she was still working on her masters. So while they were discussing the movie, as well as her writing some perspective scripts during her last year in school, she'd mentioned her living conditions back in Santa Clareta. From there, the conversation drifted until they talked about her deal, and she remembered that she was supposed to be looking for a ring to give to Tori.

Mason talked to her about her options, and she took two days off from the tour to run an errand. A quick train ride to Antwerp, Belgium and Jade was able to pick up a wedding set for Tori, and a matching set for herself. They were priced reasonably, and she was able to get further discounts by buying direct. It turns out, Mason knew a few people. The total cost was just over five thousand dollars, but it was a beautiful set, using black gold, with the center stone of each ring being black diamonds and blue diamonds for the smaller stones. It was breathtaking, and dark, which suited Jade far more than the bright rings so many people wore. Of course, she got really good stones.

By the time Jade got back, Tori was beside herself. Jade had told Tori she'd miss two shows, and she had to run an errand for Andre. The musician had no idea what Jade was doing, and told Tori as much. So when Jade came back with a large bag of Belgian coco, Tori was ready to kill.

"Come on Tori, you know how Andre likes his Belgian Coco. I had the chance to get him a nice supply at a discount." Jade smirked as she said it.

"You abandoned me over coco? Come on Jade, we have so little time left together. I wanted to spend every minute I can with you." Tori said, softening for just a moment. Then the anger returned. "I can't believe you took off for fucking coco?"

"It's good coco." Jade defended herself. 'Best to get this over with.' she thought 'Before she hurts somebody'. Jade spoke up, "Besides, I got you something.".

"Like that's going to make up for you just abandoning me. Why Jade, did you have to go see Belgium?" Tori said, sarcasm dripping from her voice, almost covering the hurt. Jade started to reach into her pocket. "Forget it. You can't just buy my forgiveness." Tori looked Jade in the eye, still seething.

"Okay, if you don't want the ring, I guess I could find a use for it." Jade said with an evil smirk. Tori's reaction wasn't what she expected.

"Ohhhhh no! You do not propose like that!" Tori half shouted. She started pacing, marking points on her fingers "I want a dinner, music, dancing, and then you propose. On your knees. And I'm still pissed." Tori said. Then she turned on her heels and walked away, mumbling something to herself, probably in Spanish.

Jade smirked, but complied. She had one day left to do it right. It was her last day on the tour, and it wasn't just about keeping her word. Jade really wanted to make Tori her wife, even if the singer could be just a little crazy at times. The summer together had helped her see a future with Tori, and it was time to claim her lover as her own. She planed a late night dinner for after the show, with food she cooked herself, music she'd previously recorded, and the ring. Jade even got down on one knee to ask. Tori was so sweet, smiling and enjoying the whole presentation in the privacy of their room. Then Tori gave Jade a hard stare and responded to the proposal.

"Jade, I love you, but if you want me to wear your ring, you're going to have to earn it." Tori said. Jade started to feel heartbroken, but didn't get the chance. "Give me your hand." Tori instructed. Jade put up her hand, and the wazzed off Latina dragged her to the bed and reminded her just how intense angry sex could be. The next morning, Jade found herself in a cab, on her way to the airport. She wasn't sure she could feel her legs, but Tori was wearing her ring. Tori had put it on that morning, and Jade had shown her the matching set she'd gotten for herself, the only other one like it. After a short time bemoaning her not having a truly unique ring, Tori forgave her for the cloned set. "It does mark you as MINE, so I'll forgive you."

Now that Jade was engaged she had a problem. She couldn't wear her ring, not yet. Tori's would be all over the news, and that was not how Jade was going to earn her fame. She was so close to achieving her dreams on her own. She looked on line for another solution.

On the flight back, she bought herself a cheep ring on line. It was good enough for her purposes, a simple engagement ring with a fake stone that would tell her class mates she as taken. Jade knew that the ring would only fend off the decent ones, but that's what a killer attitude and weapons were for. Jade smiled, knowing it would be justified if she used her scissors on any guy who ignored her ring.

Once back in the U.S., Jade quickly moved into her rented room and got started on the things she needed to do for the Alan Smithee Memorial Film Festival. It was a lot more work than she expected. Meetings, discussions, press junkets, Jade had to do a lot more than make sure her movie was presented in the best light. She'd snuck some time in while on tour to do some cleanup with her lap top, linked via secure satellite with the schools computer. Still, she had a lot of cleanup to do to make it crisp enough for the festival. It was partially sponsored by the Association of directors, so the pressure was on.

As the week came to an end, and the festival began, Jade found the outside forces taking up her time. It seemed like she couldn't get a moment to herself. She had trouble keeping in touch with Tori, partially due to the time differences, but also from the demands the festival put on her.

Jade found that she had a lot more duties than just hosting her movie. She was on discussion panels about several topics, helped judge at least one costume contest, and HAD to attend all the parties. She was one of the hot topics at the festival, so her attendance was almost mandatory. Everyone she met seemed to want to introduce her to several people, and they all wanted something from her. There were enough leches and perverts in positions of power that Jade had to hide as much as she could behind her ring. It had arrived within days of being ordered, and it was her shield against many of her would be suitors and paramours. Others, again, had to be fended off with words and subtle threats. Not that everyone who talked to her wanted her in their bed, most just wanted the business contact, the chance to make money off her skills or the opportunity to see who the buzz was about.

Mason was at these parties, and would bail her out when he could, but business always came first. He was trying to expand the soundtrack part of Neutronium records. He was meeting up with a lot of potential clients at the festival, as well as a lot of Hollywood's movers and shakers who found this festival convenient to squeeze into their schedule. But when he could break away, he was there to pull Jade away from the latest person informing her how she needed a friend like him. His excuse was he was protecting his investment, since Jade's movie starred one of his acts. And the excuse worked, at least partially, because it was true. It was well known that Tori Vega was his friend, an unusual occurrence with the acts he signed. But it explained protecting Jade.

Jade couldn't just skip the parties, even if she wasn't the talk of the festival. It was unlike so many other festivals in that the Alan Smithee Memorial Film Festival was about newcomers making contacts more than the films themselves. Just being accepted was a sign that those in the industry believed in your talent. The parties was where deals could be made. Every producer and director who had a film in the festival was at as many parties as they could attend, and business was constantly being discussed. More than one production team or director would have a deal coming out of the festival.

But the two weeks of parties, panels, contests and photo ops were taking a toll on her sanity. Jade wanted to share this with Tori, but her girlfriend was over in Europe finishing her tour. Jade again had trouble skyping or otherwise seeing Tori, and their phone conversations were becoming more spaced and shorter. The only way Jade saw Tori was in the press, a group who for now seemed to not notice the ring she was wearing, but rather how the songstress was looking incredible at some event or another. Looking at the image closer, Jade wasn't sure she was wearing the ring. It added to Jade's sense of distress.

Jade's new torture, it seemed, was being unable to speak to the one she loved. Jade couldn't share her ups and downs with Tori, nor could she be by Tori's side while the Latina faced the transition that came with the end of this leg of her tour. Torture, again far too strong a word, but it was how it felt to have finally found someone who loved her, who she could love, and who could look past all the damage Jade had endured, to her body, but more importantly to her soul. Tori saw those scars, the invisible evidence of what Jade had lived through, and still loved her. Jade was hurting because now, she was without any contact to her lover.

It was under those circumstances, with Jade missing Tori so much, that she was saved from another would be paramour by a man she knew of but had never met. Jade had been cornered at a party. The man talking to her, she didn't bother remembering his name, was telling her how she needed friends like him to look after her. It was ironic that the man was talking about protection from the sharks in Hollywood, while hinting that she should sleep with him to be introduced to the right people to fuck. That is, if she wanted to get ahead. She was debating what to hit this prick with when a voice cut into the conversation.

"Excuse me, but are you Jade West?" The man said. Jade looked at him. and saw this new man, her would be savior, was a Hispanic man in his late twenties to early thirties, about the same height as Beck, and was the one person everyone at the party was hoping to talk to. It was Zach Del Toro.

The other man looked over his shoulder at the newcomer, "Get lost, the lady..." that was when he realized who was talking.

"I'm Jade, and you are?" She played dumb. Zach had a reputation. He was self obsessed, egotistical, and ungodly talented. His production company, Kinky Bunny pictures, had released several films that topped one hundred million dollars. Then he had a string of flops, but for the most part, he made money. Jade was willing to talk to him, but kept her eyes open. He fancied himself a ladies man.

"Really? You don't know who I am? Really?" Zach seemed upset, and Jade could understand, but she wasn't going to make this easy for him. Jade's almost assailant slipped away during the conversation. He didn't like being ignored.

"Okay, I know who you are. It's just, no one seems to notice I'm engaged." Jade held up her hand, showing off the cheap ring. "You've got a rep, and half the girls here are throwing themselves at you, so I thought if I pretended not to know who you were, maybe we could skip to the introductions and avoid the come on. Besides, it makes me stand out more. We cool?" Jade said, trying to sound like this was a problem she dealt with all the time.

"We'll, I know I'm cool, even if my assistants are acting like idiots right now." He said while looking over to one corner of the room. The crowd was thick enough that Jade wasn't able to discern who was pissing him off. "Anyway, your bio says your about to start on your masters in film making. I was thinking, once your ready, maybe I could talk business with you. You've got talent. I'd like to help nourish that talent." He smiled.

"As long as it fits my schedule. I work to pay the rent, and I have social commitments as well. I'm not going to fetch coffee and hope some magic rubs off on me. Once I finish my masters, I'm making movies. I even have a couple of possible investors willing to wait for my first project. So if your willing to put up with my life, then lets talk business." Jade said.

"Jade, Jade, Jade. You misunderstand me. I can wait. I just want you to know that I'd like to work with you, help you develop you brand. We'll talk, as you go through school, and once you graduate, maybe I can find you a position where you can learn from me, at my side if you will." Zach said. "Oh, and tell me the truth. That's not just some cheapo engagement ring to ward off the creeps, is it?"

"I'm getting married, as soon as I graduate." Jade answered.

"And who are we talking to?" Mason said, coming to check in on Jade.

Introductions were made, and Zack knew who was thinking of backing Jade's movies. Still, Mason's involvement in Jade's career wasn't that big a deal. Not to Zach Del Toro. He was always looking for new resources, and thought Jade would be a good one. She'd make a lot of money for whomever used her talents. Zack knew Mason saw it, and that made it so much clearer for him. He was just upset that he wasn't able to find out anything about Tori Vega, his current musical crush. It didn't matter, either he'd meet the Latina another time, or move on to some other hottie.

Mason was also aware of the importance of Zach's attention. It meant his instincts were correct. Jade had the potential to be a major player in this town. Beyond his own strange desire to be friends with Jade, he was protecting his interests. Jade and Tori would make him a lot of money, and Mason Thornsmith liked money. Of course, it was hard for him to admit he admired how far Jade had come, and how much she had overcome. In a strange way, one he refused to admit to almost anyone, she was like the daughter he never wanted, but came to like anyways.

Mason and Zach sized each other up as they spoke. Zach would love to have Mason invest in one of his projects, but he didn't rake in the money like he used to. Mason knew Zach wanted Jade's talent, and didn't mind, as long as he was involved in her first movie. Both men came to the same conclusion. Jade was going to be the business that they both invested in, one way or another, and how the other man treated that investment was going to decide if they could work together in the future.

Heading into the last days of the festival, Jade was in another of the nearly endless events requiring her participation, when she was informed that her film had won a few awards. The big one was "Best new director.", but she was also nominated for best film, best director, and won best soundtrack. Mason was on hand to help her accept the last award. The others went to so called more deserving participants. People who'd been making films for a while, and who were being rewarded more for their total body of work then their current films.

After the film festival life went back to normal, or as normal as could be expected. The movie was scheduled for a limited release, taking some of the spaces originally reserved for another film that was being delayed for "editing". Jade knew that meant the test audiences hated it, so they were reformatting it for better reception. Regardless, Jade was told it would increase the video sales. That would mean money for her, and Mason could sell the soundtracks. Also, Tori could add the songs from the movie to her touring sets. It was a win for everyone, almost. Jade's love life took the hit.

The extra interest drew interview. Jade did hers already, but no one had talked to Tori. Jade had to email her girlfriend so they could agree on what they would say. She also included Robbie in the email exchange. For Jade, it was the only contact she was getting from Tori.

Between the end of the tour and the extra interviews for the movie, Tori's schedule had closed up. With the time difference, even their phone calls had been cut off. Jade felt far more alone than before. She missed Tori terribly. To make matters worse, the next planned visit was canceled due to commitments on both ends. Jade was used to working through her pain, but not to loving someone so much while not being able to talk to them was a new, self inflicting torment that hurt on levels Jade couldn't admit.

Jade's roommates, after only five weeks, were able to see how down the filmmaker was. They tried to cheer her up, but only once. Jade could be scary when she wanted to, and no one in the house was ready for the glare she sent them when they suggested she go out and "Meet a someone." Jade would later remind them she was engaged, once she calmed down, but now they were a little bit afraid of her.

Her normal set of friends and family were also unavailable. Cat was busy with her babysitting gig, and school was picking up. Andre was back, but school was taking up a lot of his time, and Trina was driving him crazy. Jade couldn't imagine how maddening it would be to be housemates with Trina. Beck was in New York, Max had football and other practices, she was loosing touch with the gang from THP Plus, and work wasn't helping like it should.

Jade had never had time on her hands before. School was harder for the content, but she couldn't overload on classes anymore. It was a set program. She'd gotten her old waitressing gig back at the restaurant, but they would only give her about twenty to thirty hours per week. The manager claimed it was so she'd have time for all her personal commitments, but the truth was he probably didn't need her. He was repaying her for the loyal service of the previous years. Also, she was willing to fill in wherever, and now that she was twenty one, she could fill in at the bar. But it was only twenty to twenty five hours per week at that time, so she had a lot more time on her hands than she was used to. Jade couldn't go out and Busk, she was just famous enough for that to draw unwanted attention, mostly from the press. Jade could make her way to one of the hundreds of 'working' parties full of Hollywood Movers and Shakers, but she'd had her fill for now. Besides, she was just using her scooter. Her car was parked in one of the open spaces at Tori's condo. Jade didn't feel like getting a ride to recover it, only to have to explain to security that it was her car.

Trina was a strange situation. Jade was having problems missing Tori, and didn't want to drag Tori's family into her misery. That included Trina, who was once again working for the Spanish language channel doing children's TV. Her goal was to be part of the creation of a beloved live action character and make money off personal appearances as well as the show. Jade could help, but Trina didn't want to burden the somewhat unstable goth. So instead of talking, the two avoided each other.

The whole situation around Jade and Tori seemed to be in limbo, waiting for the exhausted Latina to come home. September came to an end, and Jade felt anxiety creeping up inside her. Every instinct told her that something was wrong. Tori was probably innocent, but Jade was feeling hurt, and needed someone to blame. So, to protect everyone else, she blamed herself. By the time she got the call telling her Tori was back, she'd already unconsciously taken some of her frustration out on herself. Going back to old habits, she wore uncomfortable clothing, exercised during the colder hours, and otherwise made herself as uncomfortable as possible. To top it off, she gave herself a cold.

:}

Hope you've all googled the appropriate stuff so you see how clever I've been. Or how lazy. Either works. Enjoy the chapter, and let me know if you see any spelling errors. They've been slipping by me.

The Alan Smithee Film Festival doesn't exist, except in my mind and this story. Lots of imaginary people in Hollywood got their start there.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (You're past the physical stuff, but the fallout remains)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Tori was exhausted when she stumbled into her condo. It had been a long flight at the end of a hectic tour. Now, Tori had some time off before the Asian leg of the tour began. Limited shows and projects until the new year, and then only six months to hit the high spots and play to her fans. Tori wasn't looking forward to it yet, only because she was so tired. Both from the physical and emotional strain of the constant touring, and from her current social situation. But for now, she was Jet-laged but home.

Tori struggled to pull all of her luggage into the condo, cursing herself for thinking it was okay to dismiss the driver once her stuff was loaded into the elevator. As she dropped her suitcase, she looked around for any help. Trina was sitting in the living room, painting her nails. Andre had offered to pick her up from the airport, but she was picked up by a car service instead. At the time she had no desire to be a burden to anyone. Now she hoped he was here to help her finish getting her stuff to her room. Tori just wanted to go home and soak in a nice warm tub. She needed something else, but wasn't rushing to see her girlfriend.

Tori was in no rush because she'd let her frustration and exhaustion turn to passive aggressive behavior. She'd blamed Jade for the three weeks of minimal contact, so had cut the goth off for the next two weeks. But at the same time, a different part of her was screaming that she needed to be with her soul mate. Tori made excuses to balance the two contradictory forces in her psyche, two drives both unable to admit the other part existed. In her heart, she wanted to be with Jade, but she felt the need to stay away just a little longer, both to punish her and to avoid the fight that was coming. Tori desperately didn't want to lose her. Now she was avoiding the thing she wanted the most out of fear that it would be the last time they were together.

So the singer found herself in her living room. Sleep was on her list, but after that, she'd be doing nothing. She had a week before she started doing the odd show. Tori was also going to film three music videos in the next month. Two for her own songs, just to have the next one ready when it was time to release the next single, and one for the "Breakout Hit" from Jade's movie. Tori wasn't looking forward to the multiple shoots, each filled with long days and minimal sleep. At that moment, She just wanted to sleep.

Trina did the last thing Tori would expect. She greeted her sister, then just let her be. They talked about little things, in a sisterly fashion, but Tori didn't get any demands, hear about the latest crush, or anything Trina-esk. It was like the elder girl had enough sense to back off and let Tori be. So Tori went to take a nice bath, leaving her stuff in the entry hall. She decided to recover it later. But by the time she was out of the bath, her stuff was in her room. Trina never admitted to bringing it in, but just smirked and claimed she didn't see anything.

For the next three days, Tori avoided anything not having to do with recovering from her tour. She went to the gym in the condo, put her stuff away, spent time with Andre and Trina, and otherwise sat around to relax and recharge. While physically she was starting to recover, she was still avoiding the one issue she needed to face before she could emotionally recover. It was on that third day, talking to Trina about hitting Disney Land, when things came to a head.

"So how long are you planning on avoiding Jade?" Trina asked, an unusual response to asking about if Space Mountain was as fun once your eyes adjusted to the dark.

"I'm not avoiding her. She's just busy, and I've been tired." Tori tried to defend herself.

"What did she do? Spill." Trina said. The older girl knew how unreasonable Tori could be, but passive aggressive was reserved for special cases. Trina needed to know what was going on so she could help her sister.

"Nothings going on." Tori said.

"When's the last time you saw her face?" Trina asked. Before Tori could answer she added "Pictures don't count."

Tori didn't answer. Deep inside, she suspected it would reflect badly on her.

"When was the last time you talked to her?" again Tori didn't answer. By this time, Andre had wandered into the room. The sound of a potential fight was drawing him in, just in case he was needed to keep these sisters from doing damage they would regret. "The last time you communicated in any way?" Trina asked. Tori looked at her, almost ready to speak. "And if it was the emails you, her and Robbie sent each other, then you'd better get dressed, because this is not something I'm going to be in the middle of."

"I thought you didn't like Jade." Tori said. Andre suspected it was an attempt to deflect what was coming, but the older girl was not the same as the one from high school.

"I like her fine, when she'd not being a total gank. Besides, I need her to be involved in my career. I think she can help me develop a show for the Spanish language channel, and she won't do that unless she's boinking my sister. So clean up, get dressed, and lets go fix this problem." Trina said.

Bringing it back to herself was Trina's safety net. It wasn't being altruistic, but protecting her own interests. Andre was finally catching on to how Trina always made sure to sound like she was getting something out of her actions. He didn't understand it, but he suspected it was to convince whomever that Trina was serious.

"But I don't wanna" Tori whined.

Tori, for her part, was worried about what would happen when she was face to face with Jade. She was angry at Jade, but couldn't think of why. Fear and rage and a lack of any good reason pointed the blame at her, something she wasn't ready to happen. Jade could be very unforgiving.

"Get ready now, or I'm calling mom." Trina replied. Trina loved it, the fact every time she was in the right enough to use that threat, she would. Tori should have known better, that it was a mostly empty threat, but somewhere deep in her was the good girl who wasn't going to get in trouble for something she didn't do. Or maybe she did, and this was the easier choice. Either way, Tori complied, grubling under her breath words Andre was thankful he didn't understand.

One shower and six changes of cloths later, Tori was getting into Andre's car. She put on her sunglasses and a Hollywood Arts hoody she got just for driving around town in. She didn't want to do this, not now. However, Trina was gone by the time she got out of the shower, so it was happening today. Trina was probably getting Jade, and then they would meet at some out of the way location where they could dispose of her body where it would never be found. Tori didn't like that thought.

Before Tori was ready, Andre pulled up in front of a nice two story house. Dragging Tori behind him, he went to the front door. He didn't knock, instead texting someone. Trina opened the door a few moments later.

Jade had been home for less than ten minutes when Trina showed up at her door. The older Vega sister started to talk to her about the whole Spanish language channel fiasco she was in, and how Jade could help her fix things. They had lots of time, Tori was going to need at least two outfits before she was ready to face Jade. Something hot that went with her hoody. Trina figured she'd have time, but texted Andre just the same.

By the time Andre arrived, Jade was talking about acting as an executive producer for Trina's new show. In Jade's version Trina was going to star, doing mostly physical comedy in the vein of Mister Bean, possible with people in animal costumes. They were working out some of the pitch to make a pilot episode when Andre texted. Trina excused herself for a moment to get something, then walked down to the front door. Looking around to make sure no one was watching, she quickly hustled Tori into the building, up the stares and into Jade's room.

As soon as Tori was in Jade's room, followed closely by Andre and Trina, Jade was already gobsmacked. She and Tori both stared at each other, neither speaking. Neither girl seemed willing to go first. Finally, in an effort to preserve her sanity, Jade stood up from her seat and walked up to Tori. The singer flinched, but found herself engulfed in a hug. Jade's actions spoke for her.

As Tori's fear diminished, her anger grew. Almost before she knew what she was doing, Tori went on the offensive.

"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed. Jade looked startled by Tori tone, and released her. Tori took a step back.

"I didn't know what to say. You usually like hugs." Jade said, sounding confused.

"After what you did, I certainly wasn't going to just let you hug me." Tori said, again lacing her words with anger.

"What I Did?" Jade said, her own frustration rising. Then she was calm, that scary calm that could be the moment before an explosion. "Okay, lets play this game. What did I do, and don't say I know, I wouldn't ask if I knew."

Tori was thrown by the change. Jade was in control now, focused and dangerous. Not thinking straight, Tori tried to reassert her dominance. "You don't know? You don't KNOW?" her voice was getting louder. Jade flinched, but otherwise stood her ground. Trina was waiving for her to keep it down. "You fucking abandoned me. Three weeks and you just seemed to disappear. I hardly got any of your oh so precious time." Tori was barely controlling her voice, keeping from all out yelling.

Andre wished they'd chosen a sound proof room, like a music room, so the fight wouldn't echo through a whole neighborhood.

"I did it for us. It was what I had to do so that we could be in a place where no one would judge. I did it so that when we do decide it's time to tell the world, they won't say I was after your money, or that I had something on you." Jade said, then she looked at Trina and said "Okay, that doesn't sound so good when I say it." Jade turned back to Tori.

"You could have tried harder. Jade, I spent the last week without seeing you once. Then I heard you had to cancel out get-together because of a fucking meeting?" Tori was feeling her advantage returning.

"I was drowning, Tori. Through all the meetings and parties and panels they all wanted something and I couldn't do it. I needed you so I held on to the image of you, the thought that once it was over I'd see your face again. I put up with dozens of men telling me that I was better off fucking them than working on my masters, and every time I wanted to punch or kick or stab them I thought of you. I smiled, and kept talking to those people." Jade was near tears, her story loosing coherency as she spoke.

Tori didn't want to give up her advantage, but Jade wouldn't break. She was using tears, a dirty trick, to get sympathy. Tori knew it was the truth, but to admit it now was to accept she wasn't the wronged party. So Tori pushed past the growing desire to hold Jade and tried again.

"Don't give me that. Fame is all you've ever wanted. More so than Trina. Don't tell me the Wicked Witch of the West couldn't handle a little attention from the media." Tori shot.

Trina took a step back. Tori was jumping over lines she should know better than crossing. Andre scanned for scissors, or other convenient weapons. Everyone braced for the explosion they were expecting.

"This wasn't the press asking awkward questions, Tori. This was producers and studio executives telling me to my face that my main value as a filmmaker was my breasts and whether I would do it doggy style." Jade again seemed to regain her calm. Tori noticed Jade's teeth were grinding as she said it, much to the Latina's satisfaction.

"Gave up on the tears, huh? I guess you'll have to try something else, because I'm not moved by your crocodile tears." Tori said, ignoring what Jade said.

"Go. When your ready to talk, I'll come to you." Jade said, sounding suddenly tired.

"No. I like it right here." Tori said. "Whats wrong Jade, what happened to the big bad bitch that used to torment me in school?"

"She realized you were looking for a fight, and is getting hurt trying to stay calm. Damn it Tori, if your hurt, I get that, but it wasn't my fault. I tried. If you'd rather be angry, then be angry. Just don't expect me to sit here and take it. I've bled enough in this lifetime." Jade said. She sounded different, hurt but solid. As close as she was to the edge, Jade was not determined not to fall.

Tori was having a hard time staying angry. Jade was slipping, but still tried to keep in control. With her background, and a few of the things Tori had said, the goth had to be hurting. Tori's right hand moved towards her left. But before she could pull the ring off her finger, she stopped. Jade's eyes were tearing up, and both Andre and Trina were holding their breaths.

One voice in her head was screaming 'Do it. Take that ugly ring and throw it right in her face. That'll show her.' At the same time, another was panicking, trying to get through to her that pride wasn't worth losing Jade, not just to hurt her, or to make her angry. Tori stood there, frozen as her anger and shame pushed her to take off the ring. Tears started to flow down her face as she somehow knew that she'd found the point of no return. Hands shaking, she removed her right hand from the ring, and sat down on the bed. Tori broke down, emotionally exhausted, and lost herself in her pain.

Jade wanted to hold her, but she was shaking. The adrenalin in her system was burning fast. No one in the room knew how close she'd been to losing it. Jade wanted to break down too. She was tired, hurting from the many wounds Tori had inflicted over the last two and a half weeks. As she tried to regain control, to calm herself enough to hold Tori, Trina closed the distance to see what was going on. One close look was all it took for the older girl to see how out of control Jade was at the time. Trina sat down and held her sister.

Jade stepped outside and started to cry. Her rage was still flowing in her veins, so she went to the garage and found something she could hit. Andre watched her beat the old heavy bag until her hands were bloody. She didn't stop for several minutes after that. Once she did, her energy was fleeing far too fast for her to recover, and she nearly collapsed. Andre helped her up to her room and to her bed.

Tori had cried the whole time, asking why Jade wasn't holding her. Trina just told her that the goth needed to work out the anger she was feeling, and that she'd be right back. It took twenty minutes for Jade to return, and when she did, Andre lay her down and went to get the first aid kit. He wrapped her hands as she was fading. Tori looked at her, shame and hurt on her own face, and lacking the strength to do anything else, spooned her girlfriend. Jade and Tori were soon asleep, napping off their last encounter.

Trina and Andre spent the next hour talking with the landlord and the other tenants. They apologized for the fight, but soon after they just sat and socialized. Andre hit on one of the tenants, and Trina talked about the show she was working on with Jade. By the time Tori and Jade woke up, Trina and Andre had been invited to dinner. The accepted, but only to give Tori a chance to sneak out unnoticed.

Tori and Jade woke up in the spooning position. Tori woke first, feeling the aftereffects of all the emotional stress she'd hidden under her need to blame Jade. Still tired, but feeling far better than she had in two weeks, Tori continued to hold Jade. She pressed herself into the other girls back, and slowly inhaled her scent. It was almost comforting. If only there wasn't that pesky guilt.

Jade, both physically and emotionally exhausted, woke up to find Tori spooning her. It was a familiar position, and not one she wanted to be in at that moment. Summoning all her willpower, she rolled over in Tori's arms to find her fiancee looking at her. "Sorry, I shouldn't have blamed you." Tori said, her voice horse from the crying.

"I could have done this better too, you know. I kept my anger in check just to spite you. I'm sorry I got caught up in all that shit." Jade said.

"You said you were drowning, and I still looked for a way to blame you." Tori started to cry. Jade kissed her.

"We can dwell on the past, or we can look to the future. Lets agree to forgive each other and move forward, okay?" Jade smiled as she spoke, then kissed Tori's nose. Cuddling, the two talked about stuff for the next hour, until a text from Andre told Tori to sneak out to his car. She did, and from there, Tori went home.

It took two weeks for Tori to figure out what she needed to talk to Jade about. Two weeks of rest, with a video shoot mixed in. Jade worked the shoot, but avoided Tori beyond admitting they were friends. It was strangely frustrating for Tori, during the twelve to fifteen plus hour per day over two days, for Jade to be so distant. It was also what clued her in on what was really bugging her.

Jade and Tori were spending as much time as they could together. Jade's lessened work load gave her twenty hours per week she had no idea what to do with. Tori claimed all of them. Jade could talk to her family, or spend time with Cat, Robbie or Andre just as well from Tori's condo as she could from her rented room. Only Ty and a couple of others were contacted with the thought of keeping the relationship secret. Realizing that constantly being picked up by Andre was a dead giveaway that something was up, Jade pulled her car out of mothball and started driving herself. The only giveaway was when she took her car, she was probably going to stay the night at her girlfriends. Normal enough an excuse for her landlord and the other tenants.

Tori, once she realized what she needed to talk about, found easy was to avoid it for another week. Tori wanted to spend Halloween with her girlfriend, and while the fight that was coming wouldn't break them up, it might sour the mood. So she managed to keep the subject to herself until after the end of October.

They spent Halloween separately, Tori as part of a live televised concert, and Jade sitting at the front door of the house her room was in, handing out candy. Jade had a far better time. Tori loved performing, but there was something magical about the evening Jade spent handing out candy. She admired every costume, from the far too many store bought efforts to the often campy hand made or thrown together ones. Jade admired the creativity of some of the older kids. Mostly, she enjoyed watching the little ones as they threw themselves into the annual ritual of taking candy from strangers.

Early November, on a Saturday morning, Tori called Jade. She couldn't put this off any longer. Circumstances had changed, and it was time to face this fight. The whole thing was going to start with a simple request. "Jade, Hi, I need your opinion on something. Can I pick you up?"

Jade had worked the night before, and was working a shift again that night, but was available as long as the trip didn't take too long. "Okay, as long as I'm back in time for my shift."

Tori let her desire to kidnap Jade drop, partially due to the trouble of dragging an unwilling person onto a commercial flight. Also, she couldn't decide on Vegas or Waikiki. So instead, she agreed. Twenty five minutes of low traffic driving later, and Tori was outside Jade's place. Again Tori resisted the urge to walk up to the front door, and instead texted Jade. Tori was again wearing her driving hoody, the one she hid in her car so no one would notice she had it when she left her condo. As soon as Jade got in, Tori took off.

"So where are we going?" Jade asked. She wore a simple sun dress, trying to be as casual as possible.

"Somewhere. I'll try not to keep you too long." Tori sounded bitter, but it had come to this, so she felt she had the right.

"What did I do wrong this time?" Jade asked.

"Can we listen to some music, please?" Tori replied. Jade wanted to know why Tori was upset, but complied. After another twenty plus minute drive, they came to a gated community in the Hollywood Hills. Tori told the guard she was expected, and after he checked his list he let her go through in a professional manner. Shortly after that, they pulled up to an expensive looking house. Tori sent a text, and a few moments later, the gate opened. They drove up the long driveway to the motor court, and parked. It was a mansion.

An older black man was waiting for them. Tori offhandedly told Jade it was Andre's uncle, the one who sold real estate. As soon as they got out of the car, he walked them to the front door and opened it for them. Tori walked around as if she'd been there before. Jade followed, quickly realizing Tori was buying a house.

The mansion was huge, over twelve thousand square feet, sitting on just over three acres of property. Tori walked Jade through each of the main houses seven bedrooms, and pointed out the eleven bathrooms, including one for each bedroom. The rooms were all empty, waiting for the new owner to move in.

In addition to the three story main house, there were three other structures on the compound, plus a pool, tennis court, garden, and a jacuzzi. One of the structures was the caretakers apartment under the carriage house, where they could store six cars. Another was a guest house with two bedrooms and three bathrooms of it's own. Then there was the pool house, built to house the pool and jacuzzi, it was built more like a green house, with large glass walls and large segments of the roof glass as well. The glass both preserved the view, and allowed the room natural sunlight.

The last place Tori dragged Jade was the master bedroom. Here, looking out to the rooftop deck, Tori turned to Jade, ready to talk.

"Well, what do you think?" She asked.

"It's a lot of house. Are you sure you need this much?" Jade asked.

"Did you notice the smaller yard, where kids could play?" Tori said. "This is the perfect place to start a family.

"I'm sure it feels that way, but..." Jade was stuck for an answer. It was the kind of place she mentioned when she talked about her dreams in her introductory slap video. "Your getting this place because of me, aren't you?"

"What if I am. I like the house, it's a place where we can start our lives together, so whats not to like?' Tori challenged.

"If you want it, get it." Jade said, sounding a little aggravated.

"And there it is." Tori jumped in. "I told you I would be taking care of you. If it wasn't for your stupid rule, you'd be living in my condo right now, and you could go to school without worrying about waiting tables." Tori was pacing. It was time to let Jade know what was bothering her. "Sometimes, I wonder. If I were a guy.."

"I'd still be just as hard to deal with. I'm sorry Tori, but I need people to see I did things on my own." Jade said.

"And if things were reversed. If you made it first, would you want me to ignore you just so I could claim I earned everything? No one does that. Sikowitz kept setting us up on auditions, if I hadn't landed the Platinum Music Awards, maybe one of those would have panned out. I owe it to everyone who helped me along the way. Why do you think I like to give back to Hollywood Arts so much?' Tori had stopped to look deep into Jade's eyes.

"It's not like that. Sikowitz made you his project. He didn't set me up for any auditions. If it didn't involve you, I didn't get any breaks." Jade said. Tori could see the hurt her girlfriend was feeling. "Not that I could have used them. I don't know if I told you this, but my mother basically sold me to Richard for a better life. She certainly sold herself. I can't trade my body or my love for security. I can't risk doing that to my child." Jade was shaking. How she kept from crying, she didn't know.

"Then don't. Instead, trade your love for my love, and take whatever gestures I offer for what they are. Gifts don't need to be repayed. If it makes you feel better, I'm buying the house for me, and your only here because you want to fuck me, and that's more convenient if you're living with me." Tori smiled, not sure where that statement came from, but liking it.

Jade smiled. She repressed a chuckle. "You understand why I need to make a name for myself then?" She asked.

"We keep our relationship secret a little longer, until your next movie, but then I want to be able to fuck you in... I mean..." Tori was blushing, her face brighter than Jade had ever seen.

"Kinky much?" Jade asked.

"That's not what I meant. I just want to be with you in pubic." Tori said, Jade's pierced eyebrow rose. "And it gets worse." Tori was getting embarrassed. Needing something to do to regain herself, Tori switched subjects. "I'm having a jacuzzi room put in up here, off the bedroom." Tori pulled Jade into the bathroom. "You can see a jacuzzi tub here, but it's strictly for bathing, not quite big enough for..."

"Just can't get it out of your mind, can you?" Jade teased. With a hurrumph, Tori walked past Jade, but instead of leaving the bathroom, she closed and locked the door. With her back to the door, Tori looked at Jade, gently biting her own lower lip in anticipation.

Jade learned several things about sex in the bathroom. The biggest was, if you were into it, the little things were not nearly as annoying until afterwords. But the tile floor was cold and uncomfortable. Her knee found Tori's core, but with the aggressive girl going all "Predi-Tori," Jade was stuck on her back on that cold hard tile floor. Jade decided she liked that name for when Tori was aggressively seeking sex, and locked it away for future use.

As the were looking for their underwear (amazing where things hang themselves when you throw blind) there was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Tori? Jade? Is someone in there?" Andre's uncle asked,

"Just a minute. We were just..." Tori stopped. Jade looked around for any excuse for what they were both doing in the restroom. Before she could come up with an excuse, he spoke again.

"Look, I'm not worried about what you're doing, I'm just wondering if your done?" He said.

Understanding hit Jade, and she was intrigued. "Do you deal with this kind of...Thing, a lot?" She asked.

"You get all kinds. Sometimes, I get a couple, especially younger couples, and they're looking over a house and ask me for twenty minutes. I had one couple who did it in five places. If they hadn't bought one of them, I'd have been pissed." he said.

Jade was smiling at the story. It was nice to know they weren't being judged. Tori smiled as well.

"We need to discuss something. Why don't we meet you by the front door in, say, twenty five to thirty minutes." Tori called.

"Okay, but not too much longer. I'm showing a house across town in an hour." he said, and they heard him leave. Jade, mouth open, looked at Tori, trying to understand what the Latina was thinking. Tori took Jade's underwear out of her hand and dropped it on the toilet.

"We can't buy a house until we've scissored in it." Tori smirked. Jade found herself agreeing.

:}


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (You're past the physical stuff, but the fallout remains)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

Jade spent some time thinking, coming to terms with her sense of confusion that surrounded her relationship with Tori. Somehow the Latina was able to use sex to exert control over her. It didn't fit the narrative Jade had imagined of herself, the one where she was a kept woman. The more she looked at Tori's methods of persuasion, the more it screamed that the narrative was wrong, almost backwards. If she could just get past her worrying about what everyone else thought, she could be really happy just being with Tori, and her career would be allowed to happen however it wanted to. But Jade has always been aware of what people think of her, going back to before she met Beck, It's always been about the image she showed the world. Jade had worked hard to project the promising image of a brilliant but dark beauty who's family didn't understand her. Richard had taught her how important it was to maintain the right image. The last thing she needed back then, when she was under Richards care, was for someone to learn the truth and then face the consequences. Jade did it to protect the people around her.

But after Tori sold her on that house, and the sex that followed, she had the chance to sit back and reflect on what had happened. What exactly had happened? Tori had used sex to help pacify Jade, but it wasn't just about the sex. It was never just about the sex. It was about the moments after, when they held each other, and Jade could feel her love for Tori, as well as the singers love for her. It was about feeling safe in the other woman's arms, and from that safety feeling the pleasure she could bring her mate. Jade knew Tori was the kind of girl who needed her lover to enjoy sex, so she enjoyed it as much as humanly possible. Jade may enjoy that feeling anyways, but she found she loved Tori enough to overcome her fears, her memories and her history to enjoy being with Tori, even when her mind didn't want to. Jade loved pleasing her, even if it meant being pleasured in ways she could not describe.

Jade realized, as soon as her mind cleared itself of the cheesy, romantic images her thoughts had brought her to, that Tori bought that house. Moreover, Tori had bought that house for THEM. The details were easy enough to acquire, and by Thanksgiving, Jade knew everything Tori wanted her to know. The closing date for the house was December 5th, and Tori would move in shortly after that. Jade was always welcome, but wasn't expected to move in until after she graduated. And the new jacuzzi, the one just off the master bedroom, would be installed by Christmas.

It looked like Christmas was going to be celebrated in the mansion, but then Jade realized that a naked house was just walls and a roof. They would need furniture. Tori was going to have the house furnished as quickly as possible, but even with a decorator, it would take time. Jade had already received countless emails from Tori asking about couches and beds and tables and what to do with each room. For her part, not wanting to put too much work into it yet, Jade asked for an office, a room for her to crash in when she and Tori had a fight, and to minimize the pink. Other than that, the house was Tori's to do with as she pleased. Jade honestly didn't care how Tori decorated the public spaces, she just wanted her private spaces to be comfortable for her. Tori's agreed to those requests, but informed Jade that her cheep 'put it together yourself'' desk was going into one of the bedrooms, and Tori would get her an appropriate desk. "You can decorate your office however you like, But not that cheap ass desk. Other than the desk, it's your space to decorate as you please." Tori told her. Jade tried to defend the desk, saying Tori's father bought it, but Tori just shrugged it off. "How smart would it be to have an expensive desk in a rented room. This place is going to be your home, and it needs a good, solid oak desk."

With the advancing of Christmas came the reality that Tori would be leaving again soon. She had her Asian tour starting in the middle of January and going through the end of July, with a break in May. After that, Tori would spend five months doing what they were calling a wresting style tour, where she would play three to four shows in a row, then come home for a couple of days before doing it again. The last leg was the final North American Tour before she started work on her third album, and it would be so much easier on them both. Jade knew all of this, and was preparing for the long time away from her lover that came with the Asian tour. They'd be going back to the two week rule, but with a lot of longer flights. Jade knew she'd be taking most of them, and that once she got to a certain point, she might not be able to keep up with the schedule.

Christmas was spent like the year before, At the Vega household with Tori's family and everyone with no where else to go. It was a strange, almost adoptive family that watched over each other as they moved towards the end of their time in school and towards their future careers. Trina and Andre were taking over living in the Condo, and had been fighting over everything. The big prize was Tori's room. It was the master bedroom, and both of them felt they deserved it. Jade knew Trina was going to get the room, but Andre had to put up a fight for it. In the end, Andre got what he really wanted, Trina giving him his space, while she took up her half of the place. Jade's presents included a key to Tori's new home, lingerie, and a new jacket. She also got gifts from the other people in her life, all the ones not named Tori.

Jade had risked seeing Tori off on her tour, hoping the press would allow the singer the luxury of flying out with some privacy. Jade saw another advantage to flying private, Tori could drive up to the plane, and Jade could sit in the car as her lover boarded. Jade watched through darkened windows as Tori finished the last of the boarding procedure, luggage stored away, and climbed on board the plane. The goth watched the plane taxi and take off, and still sat there in the back of the town-car, watching. Finally the driver took her home.

After Christmas passed, and Tori flew off to her the next leg of her tour, Jade focused her attention on her masters. A fair amount of what she was learning was about business. She needed to know how to manage her money for when people invested in her films. She was also working on another student film, but this time she was making someone else's vision come true. The goth felt it was a smart thing to learn how to make other peoples scripts real, as well as please the writers and producers she may be working with when she makes such movies. Jade pondered the irony of the name of the film festival she'd won best director for, as she learned how much people would struggle for control of the project. It was far easier when she was the sole creator. The filmmaker doubted she'd ever be in that kind of situation soon.

Then there was the constant figures who'd invaded her life. The established adults who wanted something from her, and were willing to give a little to get what they wanted. Mason was understandable. He was watching her development, keenly interested in her planned first movie out of school. As cold and profit oriented as he was, he was understandable. Jade knew what he wanted, and how to deal with him. It was the other, the newcomer to her life, that worried her.

Zach Del Toro, famous producer, mover and shaker, was interested in being her mentor. His own meteoric rise to the top had faltered. While Kinky Bunny Pictures was still a potent force in the industry, his name didn't scream profit the way it used to. Jade wasn't sure what he was planning on gaining from his association with her, but she had a lot of guesses. Zach was a player. He dated starlets and otherwise indulged his ego. Jade knew he found her attractive, and had no doubt that if she agreed, for whatever reason, he fuck her in a heartbeat.

But Zach was also a complicated person. His assistants swore surviving four months working for him was the start for a promising career. His contacts could help anyone in the industry make it. Jade seriously doubted that. If it were true, then Zach wouldn't be bugging her to 'intern' with him one she graduated. She suspected he might hope her impending success would help extend that myth. It's what kept people applying for positions as his assistant, since he was apparently very difficult to work for. Jade smiled to herself, thinking of a world where half the people in Hollywood could boast of surviving eight months as Zach Del Toro's assistant.

Spending some small amount of time with him, and talking to his various assistants, Jade found out he had a list of starlets and performers who he'd like to date and/or fuck. Probably mostly fuck. Jade didn't get a look at the list, but over the months leading up to the new year, she was able to get some information from his ex's and from the poor saps working for him. He had a taste for Latina's, and evidently appreciated a nice ass. Jade quickly deduced that he wanted Tori.

Jade's protective nature was halted when she learned of the strange sense of honor Zach seemed to have. He was often talking to his secretary, Hope, about who Tori could be engaged to. Apparently, as much as Zach wanted to be with Tori, he respected the bounds of being 'involved.' Or maybe he didn't want to get beat up. Zach wasn't much of a fighter. But even if he decided that Tori was off limits for romance, he still wanted her. He wanted to be the one to cast her in a major motion picture. Jade knew, with her talents, Tori could be a star on the silver screen as well as a pop star.

After the new year, Jade found she had to spend time with Zach, even if it was an hour per week. During those brief encounters, Jade was interrogated about how she was able to get Tori in her student film. Jade was able to stall until she had a chance to go over what she was going to say with everyone involved. Once they ware all on board, just after Tori left for her Asian tour, Jade told Zach a carefully constructed half truth.

"Zach, calm down. I'll tell you, but you cannot pester my contacts, okay?" Jade said over the phone. "It's really not that complicated. I went to school with Tori. We hung out with the same crowd. When I got back to LA, I looked up some of the more accessible ones. Last year, one of them told me about a chance to sing backup and see Europe. Tori was looking for people she could use to give her regular singers time off, and Robbie and myself took the chance. If it worked out, which it did, then we'd spend the summer touring with her, which we did. I took advantage of the talent during the first week. I filmed the whole thing over those seven days." Jade told Zach.

"But are you still in contact with her?" He asked.

"Not exactly. As I said, I spent part of the summer with the tour, but that time they used me more as a floater. All my production knowledge and shit. Word of my work got out. Enter Mason Thornsmith, whom you recall I had met when I was the runner up behind Tori to open the Platinum Music Awards. You remember that year, the one where Tori first broke out? Well he's taken an interest in my work again. Strictly business. He wants to make money. When he heard of the project, He contacted me. He let me know that from now on, when I need something from Tori, I talk to him." Jade said. "And if you want something from her, you talk to him. Just leave my name out of it."

That was how she got Zach off her back about Tori, but he still had a strong interest in Jade's work. He insisted it was strictly business. He wanted to help her on her path to becoming a filmmaker. It was, he claimed, about giving back. Jade knew better. It was about the money.

So Jade's school year progressed. Her work at the restaurant slowly dwindled to maybe twenty hours per week, and Jade was dipping into her savings to help with some of her costs. Since she was making decent tips, it wasn't that much, but it still bothered her. She also had to use her car more, so that increased her gas expenditures.

Jade spent Presidents day weekend with Tori. It was a wonderful Valentines day celebration, and Jade was getting used to the idea of her and Tori getting married. The biggest argument was about kids. Mostly, about how soon Tori wanted kids. The singer was established, and could afford to have a family now. Jade secretly believed that was one of the reasons they had so much sex, that Tori hoped one of them would somehow get pregnant. 'It's just a theory.'

It was during that weekend when Jade met the new caretaker of the house. She didn't know much about the giant of a man, but was assured the six foot seven inch mass of bone and muscle was a great choice for that job. Tori didn't need him to be an expert in electronics, but he'd been working as an electricians apprentice while he lived in San Francisco. What Tori needed was someone to watch over the house while she was gone, and since Jade was going to be working so much, decided to hire someone. Mostly, Tori wanted someone she'd feel safe around. How this monster of a man had won that position, Jade had no idea. But Vanya Medvedev was the groundskeeper, and Jade was going to have to learn how to coexist.

Back home, she continued to work on her masters, as well as her anger management. For this project, her temper was being tested.. Jade didn't want to kill her collaborators, per say. Just sell them into slavery, or maybe sell them to a black sight. Regardless of how reasonable Jade tried to be, either the writer/producer or one of the others would want things to be different, and chaos would ensue. Jade was thankful for her therapy. Even as scattered as it was becoming, it was keeping people alive.

Jade found, as her last semester began, she was right about the difficulty in maintaining the two week rule. Jade worked much harder keeping the lines of communication open with Tori, and almost never missed a Rendezvous. Still, life seemed to like throwing little opportunities at them that interfered with their love lives.

For Jade, Zach was pushing for her to be his intern, and had managed a paid position for her. Jade missed one weekend "interviewing" for the position. Tori understood. Zach may be a blowhard, but it was too good an opportunity to pass up. Zach was offering her thirty two hours per week with minimal on call duties, hopefully giving her time to film her next move around the work schedule. Zach knew it was short term, a year at most, but had every intention of having his production company's logo on Jade's film when it was released. Or at the very least, he could sell the idea he helped shape her career for the next ten years.

For Tori, it was a chance to perform in front of the leaders of China. It was an extra day added on to her time in Hong Kong. The extra day prevented her from meeting Jade at a neutral place and spending time together. Jade wound up spending a day in Hong Kong, and Tori spent the same time deeper in China. She got paid, plus a few gifts that expressed the joy the Peoples Republic of China had taken in her choice to perform for them. Also, it officially opened the mainland China market.

Finally, Jade found herself nearing graduation. She had investors for her next movie project, planned on getting married soon, and was going to be able to spend almost ten days with Tori. The problems she was facing were amazingly simply handled. Andre talked to Zach (Trina was too likely to throw herself at him.) and told him about Jade's impending marriage. With both brides busy, the friends had planned everything, including the kidnapping that would lead to the wedding, and the flight to Hawaii where they would spend a week together. Zack was intrigued to hear Jade was a lesbian, and fascinated to find out her bride was constantly travailing for business. He agreed to delay her starting work for him until June. He even sent a gift.

That led to Jade's next hurdle, pre-production on her new project. The goth was hard at work getting the elements together for her next movie. She was returning to her roots, with a movie inspired by her working with the others for her masters film project. It had nothing to do with anything around the filming, and everything to do with how much she wanted to hurt them. Adding a lot of psychological thriller elements, as well as stuff happening off camera to add to the suspense, she was going to make the defining horror movie, and on a budget.

Jade had promised Trina a part, since she was was planning on playing the killer. Part of it was she wasn't giving anyone else the privilege of killing Trina on screen first. Trina was good enough for that role, provided she was carefully directed, and the on set training would help her with the pilot they were shooting for the Spanish Language Channel. By the time they'd finished filming, Trina would be good enough for the part Jade had planned, or she would die trying, Jade was certain of it. The pale girl even had plans of where to dispose of the body if Trina went all diva on her.

Jade also had a role for Robbie, he would play the police officer hunting the killer, while providing some comic relief. He had good reactions, so could sell the brutality of each murder. Jade knew what the comedian was capable of, and wanted to keep using him as much as possible. It would help both their careers.

So as graduation approached, the gang got together and talked to Jade. She was told she was going to spend the couple of days away with them, just her and her her high school friends, as a late graduation present. She agreed, looking forward to seeing the old gang together. Beck was flying in, his current girlfriend in tow. Andre and Cat were taking the weekend off, despite their own classes going for another month. Only Tori seemed to be missing. It was a chance to relax and enjoy what might be their last weekend together, too good of an opportunity to miss. They'd chosen and Indian casino near by for the event, mostly because it would give them the Los Vega's feel while being much closer to home. She would drive up with Cat and Sam, while Andre, Trina and Robbie drive up together.

Getting the filmmaker to go did require a bit of persuasion. Jade was excited about her first real movie, and was going to need to be tricked into letting someone else finish the pre-production. Mason said he had a guy, but they all knew that wouldn't be happening. They knew Jade wouldn't trust any guy brought in by Mason, but by then Robbie had wormed his way into the process. He had studied some economics, some accounting on his way to his business degree. He was able to ease Jade's mind, telling her that she would only be away for a couple of days. And while she was away, he'd make sure that things stayed on track. It also made Robbie a part of the production team, something he could add to his resume.

The graduation itself was nothing too spectacular. Her parents, the Vegas (minus Tori, but including Trina), Mason and Zach Del Toro all showed up for the event. The others had too much to do if they were going to get away for the weekend. Jade was happy to be done with her education, but wondered if she should have gone for her Doctorate. Then again, she'd never heard of a director called Doctor. She had her MFA, and now it was time for her to get to work making movies. As soon as she was a big name, she wouldn't have to hide her (Impending) marriage to Tori any more.

Jade was, among other things, perceptive of what was going on around her. It was another survival instinct she'd developed. That's why she was leery of the timing of the trip. She knew Tori might be lying about the extra dates she had to play, thus closing their window of time they could be together. While Tori swore they'd get married as soon as she could get free, Jade suspected this weekend could be a trap. Still, for this to be an ambush wedding, both sets of parents would need to be there. Jade doubted her father would bring his precious new family to a casino. Of course, Jade didn't realize just where she was going.

The Sacred Ground casino knew they couldn't compete with Disney for the family dollar, but that parents and family members would appreciate things to do while the gamblers lost the family home. This casino had a variety of theme attractions to keep family members of all ages content. They had stables for horseback riding, a petting zoo, several edutainment shows, an arcade, and other attractions. It even had a theme based baby golf course. If there was a way to take your money, they were going to try it. And of course, the latest endeavor they were offering was weddings.

In California it is possible to get married in one day. The license could even be requested on line, but must be picked up from the county clerk in person. Both soon to be spouses need to bring a photo ID, and once the license is issued, they have ninety days to have the ceremony. A laundry list of potential officials could perform the ceremony. For the Sacred Grounds Casino and Resort, it was a matter of having the tribal counsel acquire a branch of the county clerks office for the use of the tribe, and anyone on tribal lands who needed it. With that, it was possible for anyone over 18 with valid ID to get married at the resort, even if they had not met their special someone before.

Jade drove to the resort totally unaware that her parents were less than two hours behind her, and that the Vega family was a couple of hours ahead, having taken off as soon as the graduation was complete. Tori herself would be there just an hour before the wedding. She'd stay one night, long enough for the wedding, the party, and the wedding night. Then they would be whisked off to their honeymoon, while Robbie returned Jade's car to LA, and oversaw the pre-production of her film until she got back.

Jade checked in, noticing that the group rate still only gave her a small room. It didn't bother her too much. She would count every penny until she no longer needed Tori's money. It's how she survived as long as she did after Richard. Jade was tired from the drive, and anxious for the fun to come. After a short nap and a quick shower, she joined her friends for dinner.

With Tori's arrival planned for the next day, the gang chose to celebrate with Jade. Tori would have her party with Mason and a few friends from the industry. The problem was to give Jade a party but not let her know it's her Bridal shower slash party. Cat relied on Sam to outsmart Jade. The sneaky girl made it sound like the party was in celebration of the groups first steps into their future careers. Sam mentioned how Cat was already contracted to do costuming for an independent movie. Robbie and Trina would both be in an upcoming horror film, while Beck was going to be in a speaking roll on Broadway. The Canadian was even going to have his own understudy. And Andre was finalizing a deal with Neutronium Records to be a songwriter. Each of them seemed to be on the cusp of greatness.

Beck, playing the roll of buzz kill, reminded them that they were all some distance from their goals. Of those at the table, Jade was the closest to hers, while Beck was the surest to achieve his goals. It was a matter of time before he was in leading rolls on Broadway and in films, with his current upcoming run a small but essential step. Tori had already made it, but no one bothered to mention that. The Latina seemed to be the elephant in the room. While her presence was missed, she wasn't mentioned. It made things tense.

Both sets of parents were having their own dinner in another restaurant. It was the chance for the two families to get to know each other before the wedding. It was an uncomfortable affair, with Officer Vega best remembered by Jade's parents for his various 'interrogations' he'd subjected them too. He'd questioned them each twice, for obvious reasons. To Mary west, Henry's second wife, this was the officer who went on a witch hunt through some of her families best costumers and friends. To Max and the younger kids, David was a hero who'd saved Jade twice. Inversely, to David Vega, these were the parents who gave their daughter to a sex offender. While the men tried to look past their shared history, the women from Jade's side seemed content to be awkward, and Holly was content to be friendly with everyone. She had the lest history with the assembled members of Jade's family, so often used that lack of history to move the conversation when the subject got too heavy. Holly did a lot of speaking that night. It was an interesting evening.

Jade woke up the next day trying to decide if the pounding on her door was more annoying than the one in her head. She almost never got drunk, but let herself get wasted last night. She was among friends, and trusted them all to make sure she didn't do anything she'd regret in the morning. Jade silently prayed that they'd looked after her, and she didn't wake up with anyone next to her in bed. Drunk often led to stupid, and she didn't want to hurt Tori. Jade didn't believe in cheating. She was grateful that there was no evidence that anyone spent the night with her.

Once she was able to confirm that she was still in last nights cloths, and that nothing sexual took place, she decided to see who was at the door. It was necessary to open the door, thus seeing who was on the other side, if she was going to kill them. Stopping to look in the mirror, she was further delayed to wash off the penis someone drew on her face. 'Stupid immature fucks.' She thought, smiling despite herself. Then the knocking drove that moment away.

"Stop trying to beat the door down! I'm coming!" Jade found that yelling hurt her head. She walked the short distance from the bathroom to the door, all to the sound of someone hitting her door, over and over again. "God your impatient to die." She said through clenched teeth.

The door opened to revel Maxwell West, her now eighteen year old brother. He was smiling an almost evil smile while dressed in a suit, and Jade knew she'd have a lot of people to maim. "Good morning. We've got less than an hour to get you dressed and ready. I've taken the liberty to have some food sent up, and brought your dress. Someone will be here soon to do your hair and makeup. So please take your shower quickly." He said the whole thing as he waked into the room, hung her dress on one of the many convenient hooks that are always near the door to hotel rooms, and walked through to open the curtains.

As light flooded the room, Jade was left standing there, staring at him. Before she could form words, or thoughts, another figure entered the room. It was her half-sister, Angela. The eight year old came in carefully balancing a large coffee from whatever coffee kiosk was near by. "It's two sugars, right?" She asked. The image was almost too cute for Jade to take.

Jade looked at her. The girl was so different than she was. Blond, with pale blue eyes and a palish complexion. The girl was going to be a heart breaker in a few years. But it was the fact that they sent the aspiring flower girl to bring her coffee that knocked Jade out of her stooper.

"When did Tori get in?" Jade asked, taking the coffee from the girl.

"About fifteen minutes ago. Were busy waking up all the party-goers from last night. With luck, the music from the procession won't kill anyone. I wonder who's brilliant idea it was to get you all hammered?" Max laughed as he watched his sister slowly move towards the bathroom. He knew he'd have to wait outside for most of the dressing, but there were no women available right now.

By the time Jade finished her shower and squeezed into the dress, her mother was sitting in the room with her. Max was outside for the moment, but knew enough to never leave Jade and Miranda alone for too long. Still, for this day, their mother was willing to put aside their differences and help Jade get ready. Max reentered the room when the hair and makeup people arrived. He sat and watched his sisters getting dolled up. Jade was looking beautiful, but was having a hard time understanding that the minister would not allow her to put a pair of scissors in her garter belt. Angela was just getting board. Max explained that eight year-olds required some entertainment, so Jade agreed to let him put cartoon on the TV.

It amazed Max how quickly everything came together once they started. Makeup artists were on hand for both brides, and made the mad dash to get everything done quickly. Jade was ready only five minutes late for the wedding. She was wearing a while dress with blue sash and veil. Cat had refused to give her a black veil. Max didn't care about traditions, but made sure she knew where she could stash her scissors.

He escorted her to the hall where the wedding and reception was going to take place. While it was an intimate affair, with only friends and family present, Tori's side had a few celebrities who had to sneak in to avoid the paparazzi figuring out what was happening. They briefly stopped so Jade could sign the wedding license. The casino was doing at the door service for everything. Then Max went to his place and waited for the music to begin.

Max watched from his position on Jade's side of the wedding, among the best people (Brides maids and groomsmen) as the wedding took place. It was different than anything he'd seen before. The casino was aware of who was getting married, and had options for them. Tori had only confirmed the setup shortly before she arrived, but it was ready.

Both brides were given away by their fathers, with the aisle being split so that there was one for each bride, and a center area for guests who claimed to be close to both brides. Max noted how the two processions met at the alter, and the official greeted them with a traditional native American marriage chant. From there, he watched them say their vows. Rings were passed, and the sets Jade had bought nine months ago were complete. Both women now wore the black diamond wedding sets Jade had chosen, both the engagement ring and the wedding band. As soon as the service was over, and both brides had their chance to speak, people moved to where the dance floor would be so the chairs could be cleared away and tables moved into place. The reception began with Tori and Jade only having to turn around to be at the head table.

It was a warm and loving affair. Max remembered the arguments Jade had been having about protecting Tori, wanting a prenuptial agreement signed. Tori had fought every step of that process, but in the end, just a month before, had signed a short term one. Jade would get nothing for the first six months of marriage, and five percent of Tori's value per six months thereafter until she was due half. Jade's earned income would be considered community property at about the same rate, with them being totally partners after five years. It was strange that Jade was the one arguing in favor of the deal, while Tori didn't want it. The reasons behind his sisters insistent made Max's head smart. The compromise would allow them both some piece of mind. Max knew they were never getting divorced. No one else could stand to be married to his sister.

Tori was beyond happy as she loaded Jade onto the plane the next day. The casino could handle small aircraft, and the 'private' plane they'd chartered was just within the allowed size. They were finally married. To Tori it was something she'd been working of for six years, on and off. Sex was great, and she enjoyed spending time with Jade, but Tori understood both her own desires and Jade's mindset. Jade didn't cheat. Once married, Jade would be hers. Now Jade was with her, and Tori was enjoying being in love. But more than that, she was enjoying being the most important person in the life of her high school tormentor. Tori felt this was the revenge on Jade she'd wanted from the day the goth pretended to be hit during the stage fighting presentation. Tori wanted Jade to pay for her transgressions by feeling the need to protect Tori. Now, with a bright future, Tori had everything she could want in a romance. Jade would love her, never leave her, and the singer felt she'd earned her happy ending.

Jade had no idea how deep this went for Tori, but was well aware that her wife might be what was keeping the plane in the air. The happiness radiating off the singer was almost too much to take. Jade was happy, to a degree. She loved Tori, and was pretty sure she wasn't being bought, but she felt like she was missing something. Had she known, she'd have just let it go. Jade would admire the scope of Tori's childish plan, but scoff at the realism of it. So many places where it could go off track. Yet, here they were, on their way to a bungalow in Hawaii, married and about to start a family together. Jade smiled. Her future did look bright.

But once they got back, she'd have to face Zach again. Jade let the worry slide and looked forward to her first time in Hawaii. Now if she could just get Tori to keep her hands to herself for the rest of the plane ride...

:}

we're so close to where I began. Still chapters to go, but getting closer.

I loved the marriage, even if I did make most of it up. In California, You can get married in a day, even to a total stranger, if you want to and know where your going. Parents, try not to be too scared.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (You're past the physical stuff, but the fallout remains)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

It took only three days before Jade questioned the wisdom of a bungalow on a Hawaiian beach. It wasn't because of the weather, or the location. The late spring to early summer weather was beautiful and warm, with the ocean view capable of taking one's breath away, and Jade loved all of it. She'd even decided that Hawaii was going to be one of their principle vacation spots in the years to come. It's was just, despite all the time they'd been together, Tori wanted to consummate the marriage. Over and over again. The window facing the ocean might as well have been a painting. Jade didn't realize Tori was capable of that much sex in such a short time. She was even questioning the wisdom of packing more than two days worth of clothing. It took until the third day for them to head out to the beach and enjoy the weather. Jade felt they could have saved some money and just flown out when they were done screwing each other senseless.

Once they decided to wander out, they faced another problem. Jade and Tori couldn't go out to shop, hit a luau, or otherwise enjoy the island. They'd be seen acting all couple-y and it would be known world wide in minutes. Jade still felt she needed to be more secure in her career before she was open about who she'd married. The solution pissed Tori off to no end, but she capitulated to keep Jade happy. Jade and Tori made up a story to hide that they were married. They were just two friends and colleagues enjoying the success that came with the DVD release of Jade's first film. The bungalow was two bedroom, a consideration their friends had made to help ease Jade's worried mind, so the story had the element of being believable. It was a good cover, as long as no one saw the affection the two showed each other. It worked, mostly because the hotel kept that part of the beach private, and the press away. There would be multiple pictures of Tori and Jade in their swimsuits all over the internet, but nothing that screamed lovers.

"Jade?" Tori asked on their fifth day. They were lying on chaise lounges on the beach, just outside the bungalow. Both were wearing matching one piece suits in different colors, beach hats, and shades.

"What?" Jade felt that was probably the best response. Tori had been gearing up for some conversation or another from the moment they fist went shopping. Whatever triggered this impending conversation had to be big, because she couldn't remember Tori this nervous when they were talking about getting married.

"I was just thinking, maybe we should be thinking about children. I mean, once this tour is done, I'll probably start touring less to support my next album. You know, use TV appearances and the like to let people hear my music." Tori said to her wife. "That way, I'd have the time to help raise our family."

"God, can't this wait. I mean, yes, we want children. I want children, but I'm still building my career. Tori, I love you, and I love that you want to expand our family. But we're barely twenty two, well I'm almost twenty two. We've got a few years to get settled in and have our brood." Jade looked Tori in the eye.

"Do we? Jade, we're both going to have active careers. I'm willing to give a little to start our family. I'm not asking you to go get pregnant today. I'm saying that we can do it soon. I'd like to give birth before I turn twenty five. And I want to have your child, if it's scientifically possible." Tori gave her best look of determination.

"You want to carry? I though for sure you were planning on having me carry." Jade said.

"You will, but not the first child. I know you've been working hard to set up your career, and I'm willing to give you the time. Besides, I really want to be a mother." Tori said, smiling. "How about this. Once I finish with the tour, I start on my next album, and from there we plan on me getting pregnant as soon as the short supporting tour is done. Or sooner."

Just like that, the crisis was averted. Jade had admitted she wanted children, a major step for her, and Tori had let her know they would be a team. Also, that the singer would not be stealing her DNA in the middle of the night to pay some mad scientist to start their family. Jade felt better about their relationship from there. She even indulged in the fantasy of what their children would look like.

All too quickly, the honeymoon was over, and they both had to get back to their lives. Tori boarded a plane heading back to her Asian tour, wishing her wife was coming with her, and Jade boarded a plane heading back to Los Angeles. Jade swore they'd keep the two week rule, telling herself that they only had to hold out until the end of July.

Once back in LA, Jade started her new job. Even with special treatment, Jade soon found Zach to be almost insufferable. The man was living ego. He was all about his big earning movies, and seemed to have no concept of the work others put into those films that might have contributed to their success. He had no respect for the time or lives of his assistants, and if she didn't have a special arrangement with him, he might have been the one to disappear into Shadow Creek Park.

Jade did admire how focused he could be on getting what he wanted. Zach had seen the pictures of her and Tori in the tabloids, and he wanted to know if they talked about him. Jade's answer, that Tori hosted her and her new bride, was believed despite the absence of said woman in the pictures. Zach believed it because the press wouldn't waist the time to take pictures of some business woman who was an unknown. The pictures were of Tori, and Jade got mentioned only because she was around Tori. Or because she was hot. Zach didn't care, but was sure to let anyone who asked know Jade worked for him. Jade decided not to kill Zack for keeping picture of her in her bikini on his phone. The pictures were in the public domain, and she might need a reference from him in the future.

It amazed Jade that no one had caught on to her ruse, until she saw the pictures. Out of the week she was there with Tori, they only got photographed on two occasions. Most of the time they spent on the island was undocumented. The valiant work of the hotel staff and other hospitality workers had saved them a lot of unwanted publicity. Jade hoped Tori tipped then well for their service.

After the interrogation, Jade spent her first day on the job getting trained to be Zach's assistant. Each of the people who worked for him took their turn in her orientation and training. First Hope, his secretary, showed her around the space that was the Kinky Bunny offices. Jade noted that Zach never had more than four assistants and his secretary. She didn't mind not having a desk. She just wanted to have the space to do her work. Of course, Hope wasn't too forthcoming about what she'd be doing.

Next she got the kitchen orientation from Danny. He was a tall, about Sinjins height but broader. He was an attractive moron, an aspiring actor who was apparently always looking for his next girlfriend. He reminded her of Cat, only not so sweet. She supposed he meant well. He was friendly, but his laid back macho-ism clashed with her ideals of what a guy should be like. Also, he was uncomfortably proud of trying to break a real bottle over his head during his stuntman training. The Darwinist in her felt that this guy should be purged to protect the species.

Danny showed her the in's and out's of the break area while working for Zach, including explained how Zach had salad dressing on everything he ate, and how he had takeout all the time. Danny seemed to believe that Zach never ate from the same place twice, but had his favorite things from each place, so Jade would need to memorize dozens of takeout menus. Danny then showed her the small portion of the refrigerator was reserved for the assistants lunches. Later, after the whole orientation was over, he handed her a post-it note asking her if she wanted to go out. After she reminded him she was married, he backed off graciously. She appreciated that. She told him so.

"Danny, thanks for all your help, and for respecting the sanctity of my marriage. It's never a good sign if one of my coworkers mysteriously disappears during my first week on the job, so thank you for respecting my boundaries." Jade noted how seriously he took it. 'Good.'

Nate had been the next to help train her for the internship. Black, As tall as Beck, Nate was here working towards being a producer. He showed her where Zach kept the scripts, and which ones he wanted to make, didn't want to make but had to, or wanted to make but could not. She was amused that he had a place for scripts he neither wanted to make nor was required to make. She'd just throw those away. She found Nate to be good natured but a total kiss up. Jade would remember how hard he worked and that he often got the most outrageous things to do from Zach.

Then Rigby had had her turn. An attractive woman of (Asian)Indian decent, Rigby was tallish, but still over an inch shorter than Jade. Rigby was the most experienced of Zach's assistants, an aspiring writer who was the most driven to get her break. Rigby showed her how to check the copier, and didn't much care other than that. Rigby reminded Jade of herself, but without the deep emotional scars to back up the direct combative attitude. Jade knew that a real, physical threat needed to be behind the threats and manipulations, or it would eventually blow up in your face. Rigby didn't have the scars, but knew how to hide that fact. Most of her coworkers were afraid of her. Jade didn't fear her, but decided that she didn't need to be top bitch in the office. As long as Rigby respected her space, the girl could live.

Finally Gillian showed her where she could work while she was in the office. An attractive blond about three inches shorter than Jade was, Gillian was a director who's short films had been in some film festivals. Rigby called Gillian Bambi, and Jade could see why. Where the others had some small bite to them, however they came by it, Gillian was sweet. Jade saw a bit of Tori in her. The girl seemed to have some talent, as well as luck and drive. And according to Zach, the girl could sell.

Jade had expected that there could be rivalries, and after her first day, she knew they'd have their issues. Her first was the way Zach trained his staff. Zach was preaching the idea that in Hollywood, it was all about the sale. Deals happen, they fall apart all the time, but to sell well was to be in the entertainment business. Jade almost agreed, except she knew that if the product stunk, it didn't matter how well you sold it, it would die off. It was why Zach wanted to be affiliated with her. If she took off, he could claim a hand in her development. Jade was about the movies, the stories she told. Jade had too much of the artist in her to be otherwise. Sales were what got the movie made, but it was the art that made people want to see the movie.

But rivals? Jade knew she didn't have a single rival in the office at Kinky Bunny, she had five. Maybe six. She wasn't too sure what to make of Hope. But Jade did everything that each of the older people in the office did. Writer, director, actress, and producer, Jade did everything. Jade knew she'd have to walk carefully. Normally she didn't care what people thought of her, but she didn't want them conspiring to get rid of her before her career was set.

Jade had one advantage that would further cause problems, simply because the others wouldn't know how to handle it. Jade didn't need to kiss up to Zach Del Toro. He was already invested in his games, and Jade had become a part of whatever he was planning. On the other side of that coin, she was going to be Zach's poster child, the shining example of what having worked for him can do for a career. Jade didn't want the favoritism, but she was already getting it. She had fewer hours than everyone else, and wasn't on call as often. She braced herself for the negatives of being teachers pet. She knew it was coming.

On her first day, Jade was also able to listen to the horror stories her coworkers told. Stories of how Zach would call in the middle of the night because he wanted a specific burger from a place that was closed, or how he wanted them to dig a fire pit and roast a goat. Zach had a habit of asking his assistants to do all kinds of out there things, like sneaking into a treatment center to get a particular star to sigh onto one of his movies, or breaking into his actress ex's on site trailer to retrieve the jacket he left there. When his first big flop happened, he even had them retrieve his childhood security blanket from his nephew. Jade knew that if they didn't believe this job was going to set them up for their future, most of his people would have ditched by now. Apparently, over half the people hired to be his assistant didn't last a week.

After a few days, Jade saw how much and how little they did on a day to day basis. Often there would be all kinds of stuff that needed to be taken care of, but just as often they would have an hour of two to themselves as they waited for Zach or Hope to have something new for them to do. In that time, Rigby and Gillian would work on whatever project they'd been nursing, hoping this one would be the one to make it. Danny took acting and stunt classes on his own time while practicing at the office, and Nate did whatever he did with his life. Jade played along, rewriting her current movie or other projects and making sure everything was moving along smoothy.

Jade had to hand it to Robbie. The nerdy boy, along with Sinjin, had finished most of the pre-production that Jade needed done while she was in Hawaii. With what he'd done, as well as the work she'd put in before she graduated, Jade was finished by the middle of June. As long as nothing Zach did distracted from her filming, she figured to get two days of filming done per week. That would give her the time she needed with Tori, as well as keeping herself, her crew, and her actors healthy. They could do all the filming around the cast and crews normal working hours. And at two days per week worth of filming, and a scheduled forty days of principle filming, she would be into editing by the second week of November. Jade was looking forward to getting her first post-school film done. She knew she'd make her investors proud.

Jade had a lot riding on this movie. Without Tori in it, she was relying on her story to sell it to the crowds. She, along with Robbie, Trina, and the others in the movie, were all still newcomers. This movie could make their careers. Jade and Robbie's at least. Jade also found a part for Danny, just to shut the big lug up. Plus she got to kill him on screen, indulging in what she assumed was a popular fantasy his coworkers no doubt had after dealing with him. She just felt he was too dumb for his own good.

Her movie was mostly a slasher type film, but with a lot more psychological thriller elements, not to mention the deaths would be a gruesome and painful as Jade could simulate on her budget. She was still inspired by the team she worked with and for during her masters project. Jade didn't like letting others disrupt her vision of how the movie should be.

So naturally, fate threw some blocks in the way. As was becoming the norm for Jade, the first one was what most people considered good. For the second year in a row, Jade's directing effort was going to be on display at the Alan Smithee Film Festival. She briefly considered petitioning to have her name removed from the film, and in an act of tradition replaced by Alan Smithee. However, she knew, no matter how much she'd changed her vision for her collaborates, she still had a major impact on the look, feel and direction of the movie. She had to keep her name on it.

It meant that she'd lose a weeks worth of filming during September, and possibly more, but she could throw some extra time in during the months before and make the time up. The bigger problem was the exposure. Jade was going to be linked to a movie she didn't particularly like. It would be seen as one of her projects, and would draw the attention of her inverters, her boss, and her coworkers. Jade wasn't pleased with that announcement.

All the attention she got from having a second movie in the festival led to Zach wanting to show her off even more. Any time he was meeting with someone he wanted to impress, he chose Jade to come with him. So naturally, she soon found herself in multiple meetings, often as the assistant he chose to come along to take notes. In each meeting, with executives at the studio, other movers and shakers in the industry, Zach would briefly introduce her, just to show off that Jade West was his protege.

Hope told her that Zach wanted to know every word that was spoken in his meetings, especially with the upper brass at the studio. Jade would have to write quickly and accurately, then type her notes up and get them to Zach. Jade wondered what century Hope crawled out of. Why write down everything when technology was available to solve your problems. Of course, the meetings were not supposed to be recorded, but that didn't stop her. She simply went to the gifts she got from Sinjin on her last birthday. The voice recorded could be hidden in her pocket, connecting through Blue Tooth technology to her earpiece. The earpiece, looking like an average hands free device, also had a parabolic mike capable of clearly recording every work spoken in the room. She got everything, recorded every word, and was never required to do more than appear to be taking notes. Later she went to type it up, only to find that the software did a lot of the work for her on that too. She needed to tag speakers, and make a lot of corrections, but the software had saved her about eighty percent of the work typing it up. It even got every profanity that came out of Zach's mouth, in two languages. Jade both mentally thanked Sinjin, and reminded herself to ask security to make sure he was never inside the gated community without her permission. The boy knew too much about spy gear.

One side effect of the schedule Jade kept was that she didn't socialize with her coworkers. Well, not much, and it drew criticism and some bad feelings from them. Between her movie, her other social commitments, and flying out three times to spend as much time as possible with Tori every other weekend, Jade just didn't have the interest in getting too close to the other assistants. They seemed to think she was stuck up for not wanting to hang out, and the pranks they started to play on her could have escalated quickly. Jade still specialized in revenge.

Zach intervened. He insisted she spend some time with them so she wasn't remembered as stuck up or aloof. Jade agreed, but refused to let any of them into her home. She didn't want anyone to know her home address. Hope found out that the company was sending her mail to a post office box. Jade hadn't given them her married address.

Jade explained to her coworkers that she didn't want them near her home or her wife. Jade told Zach why. "I don't need my wife to come home from one of her long business trips to find out I've been having a bunch of strangers over. Vicky works so hard as is, I don't need her wondering about what I do in my off time. So I make sure to spend my home time alone, and have some of her friends with me during my shooting time. And for the record, I definitely don't want any of you lovely freaks around my sensitive lover while she's home. I have other, more personal things to do when she's there. And when we're not doing that, we hang out with her friends sometimes as well."

Jade told her coworkers the same thing, but didn't bother to be nice. She told them that her private life was private, and she only spent time with them out of work because Zack told her to. "It's not that I don't like any of you, I don't care to know any of you well enough to make that distinction, but I don't need you guys ruining my relationships. Why do you think I go through Mason Thornsmith when I want to talk to Tori. It's a safety buffer, one that insures that my lovely wife, who travels so much, can be sure she can trust me. If I had time, I'd be happy to get to know all of you freak monkeys better. Maybe. Just wait until my marriage is more established and her work schedule changes. Once she has more seniority, she won't have to travel all the time. I hope."

Her explanation had the desired effect. Her coworkers gave her space and gossiped behind her back. The mystery of how Jade lived became the favorite thing to talk about on the days she wasn't working. They had all kinds of theories, but never managed to get anything more than theories. Danny was working in a small role in her movie, so she was able to use her years of Cat experience to get him to spill whatever they had planned,, and quickly turned it against them. By the end of July, They didn't bother to follow her any more.

The next challenge Jade faced was another one of her own making. Robbie Shapero came in to the office towards the end of June. Zach had made an appointment with him. As much as Jade wanted to know what her boss wanted with Robbie, she wanted to keep her secrets even more. So when he showed up at the office, Jade was polite but kept her distance. That's when she found out that Zach had been talking to their old acting coach, Sikowitz. He was probably trying to get information on Tori, but along the way found out how extraordinarily talented the whole lot of them were. Sikowitz had bragged about the boys, as well as the girls. Zach used the information he heard to contact a couple of them so he could see if he wanted to use them in one of his projects. Robbie was the easiest to contact, and his work was on display in Jade's first movie. So Robbie was there to audition for Zach in the hope of landing a direct audition for one of his projects. Zach saw the boys talents, but wasn't sure where he could use the nerdy boy. It lowered her opinion of her boss when he immediately didn't see where he could use Robbie.

Jade heard that Zach was trying to lure Beck back with the prospect of movie work. The Canadian was a far better choice, since his looks would translate well onto the silver screen. However, Zach was having trouble arranging a meet with Beck. Her ex held to the belief that commitments needed to be honored, and had a named roll on a Broadway play that was going to keep him busy for the next few months. Beck did offer to meet with Zach if the producer ever made his way to New york. Zack was tempted, but couldn't justify it just to sign the actor. Jade laughed when they weren't around. Getting Beck was worth it. If her honored his commitments, then he was the kind of guy you wanted to sign to a multi-picture deal. And Jade knew Beck could act.

Over the rest of the summer, Jade adjusted to the work schedule and started to like the people she worked with. After Jade's birthday, Tori was home a lot more. The four to five days on followed by a weekend off was still grueling, but it had her home with her wife so much more. Jade was loving being with Tori. The singer was sweet, loved to cuddle, and helped Jade feel like a newlywed. The only problem was Tori wanted to meet the people Jade was working with, both on her movie and in the internship. Jade was having trouble saying no.

During this time, Vanya showed he was trustworthy, and Jade started to open up to the big man. She discovered a lot about his past, but didn't have the time to properly appreciate what she'd learned. She did know he had no desire to be in any movies, and that if he ever was, the worse that would happen to him would be his family would make fun of how bad an actor he was. He did give someone to listen to her when she was frustrated, but Jade had trouble using that resource. He was Tori's employee. Jade didn't feel right abusing the privilege.

Then the film festival happened. Jade happily left it to her partners to work the festival and promote the movie. Jade made the appearances she had to, and enjoyed a couple of the other movies. Zach was also at the festival, along with the others from work. That caused problems. Tori wanted to see the movie, and have Jade hold her hand through the scary parts. It seemed Tori refused to believe anything Jade directed didn't have scary parts. But cuddling during the movie was too risky. Jade agreed to have her at one of the showings while the singer was back, but they had to keep the illusion going that they were just friends. It was at the festival that two of Jade's different worlds ran into one another.

"So I finally get to meet the great Tori Vega. I've been trying to get a face to face for almost a year now." Zach said as he approached where Tori was standing next to Jade.

"And you are?" Tori asked. Unlike Jade, the singer honestly didn't know. Rather, she knew his name, but not the face.

"Really? You're going to play it that way?" Zach said.

Jade looked back and forth, realization donning on her that Tori had no idea. The singer didn't need to know, so why should she? That thought led to the next problem, Jade was going to need to make introductions.

"Tori, this is my boss, Zach Del Tori. Zach, this is my friend from high school, Tori Vega." Jade said. She was inwardly holding her breath. This was the moment she'd been dreading since she heard Tori wanted to see this piece of garbage she'd directed. Zach could learn things she didn't want him to.

"Now you call me your friend. Did you know, the day we first met, she poured coffee over me?' Tori said. Jade inwardly flinched.

"It was iced coffee." Jade replied. Zach just watched the banter. They quickly settled their argument. Jade saw Luther and discreetly motioned for him to come over. The big man noticed, but for some reason was moving slowly.

"So what can I do for you?' Tori asked.

"I was hoping for a date, but now I hear your what, engaged? Married?" Tori didn't answer Zach, looking through him for several seconds. Once he realized he wasn't getting an answer, he continued. "So I was wondering if I could talk to you about a few parts I might have in some of my upcoming movies."

"Have your people call my people, and we'll set something up for early next year." She said.

"Next year?' He replied.

"I've got commitments for the rest of the year. My tour isn't over yet, and once it is I'm taking some time to unwind and remind my husband we are married before the Christmas season. I've agreed to host Saturday Night Lives Christmas show, then I have other appearances and shows I'm doing culminating in New Years Eve. After that, I have a couple of other appearances and then I'm back in LA to write my next album. That's when I'll squeeze you in." Tori told him.

Luther showed up and ushered Tori away from the conversation at that moment. Jade couldn't stop thinking about what she'd heard. Tori was supposed to be finished with her tour by the end of November. They were having Thanksgiving together. Now she had a bunch of commitments through the holidays? Jade made a point to talk to her as soon as the director got home. Ignoring her coworkers and everything they were trying to tell her, she made her way towards her car. She had more important things to worry about than the film festival.

Tori was sitting in the kitchen waiting for her.

"Why so many commitments?" Jade opened with.

"I'll be working less than I am now. You wanted to keep our relationship secret, so I had no reason to refuse those appearances. If you're ready to be open about us, then we can talk about my scheduling. Until then, I'm going to make sure I have enough to do." Tori said, keeping her voice neutral.

"Tori, Baby, I'm sorry. I don't like ignoring you. I so wanted to stand by you, hold you and kiss you back at the party. But you know how important it is for my to not seem like a gold-digger. Just a little longer. I'm almost done filming my movie, then with the editing I've already done and the post production I'm going to do, I'll be able to stand by you with pride at my next movie premiere. Okay?" Jade said.

"Time's running out. Sooner or later, someone's going to notice we live in the same house. Jade, I love you, but if we don't resolve this soon, there's going to be consequences." Tori warned. "And Jade." Tori looked in Jade's eyes, focusing so her wife would understand how serious this was. "You won best director." Tori held up her phone, showing the announcement. "Again." A kiss later, and Jade understood what she was being told. It was the thought that would sit in the back of her mind for the next few months.

'How much more do you have to do before you can claim you succeeded?'

:}

Only a couple of chapters left, depending on how I format them. So, Jade's won Best director at a film festival two years in a row, do you think she's made an impact yet? And what about Zach and company? I stole them blatantly from a different show, and while I don't own them, I'm proud of using them for my own ends. Go on, look up Kinky Bunny Productions and see what comes up.

Until next time,


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer. I own only the concept. Everything else belongs to other people.

Trigger warnings. Child abuse, rape, self harm, attempted suicide. Possibly others. This is rated M. I tried not to be too explicit. (Okay, your probably not going to get triggered by this chapter)

Note. This story is about Jade, but contains information she might not ever know.

:}

A repetitive beeping drew Jade from her memories. She'd been dozing, letting her memories and emotions rule her while she slipped into a trance like state. Not quite dreaming, but rather her mind had drifted back so completely in it's search for answers that she'd gotten lost. Only one path had led back here, and now, still incomplete, Jade was lost in a fog of memories. She pulled herself from the bed, and the fetal position she'd been in, and moved towards the shower. She needed to start her day. Her eyes were reddened from the crying. Jade had cried several times, both from the pain of the memories and the joy of when her friends came back to her. She'd been shaking, holding onto herself as she thought about the past. Now the path was close to home, the present where Jade's fears had gathered once again.

As she stepped into the shower, her body was on automatic. She was still thinking, following her past like the only road to a solution. Jade was so close, yet so far. She'd known all along why she was so upset, why sleeping on this king sized bed on bamboo cloth sheets was suddenly uncomfortable. Tori wasn't here. The singer was out to finish some commitments and wasn't due back until today. Jade missed her wife, and wondered if she deserved to have Tori back.

The last few months were difficult for the girl who once was sure she'd survive on her own. Tori, the one who always believed in her, had been distancing herself from Jade. The Actress believed that it was a combination of her near fanatical work on her movie, and her unwillingness to be associated with Tori until she'd made a name for herself. Only now, as the post production was coming to an end, was she starting to consider the cost her actions had had on Tori.

Outwardly, Tori seemed very happy to be with her. Despite various commitments she singer had, they'd spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas together, and Tori was very supportive of Jade's work. But deep inside, Jade remained aware of Tori's warning. Sooner or later, there would be consequences. The need to resolve things pushed Jade to finish editing as quickly as possible. That led to more than a few all night work sessions. And that led to exhaustion and not being totally around when Tori was home. Jade was working herself until there was almost nothing left. Tori responded by taking care of her wife, and leaving Jade alone to get some much needed rest.

December had come with another hint that Jade might have already made it. Mason called Tori one day while she was at home to invite her to come out and celibate. Jade was also invited, but the actress didn't give it a second though. Mason was one of the few people who knew they were married, and so he often invited Jade to the parties he threw. She was an afterthought, Tori's spouse. She'd come, and if anyone asked, she was there because Mason had invested in her first movie.

This time was different. Mason had invited all Neutronium's talent up for Grammy's to celebrate their achievements. Tori was no stranger to these parties. Her second album had been nominated for best Pop Vocal Album, and she's been nominated for Best Solo Performance. She and Andre, her songwriting partner, were often almost expected to be there. The problem was, she didn't have anything new this last year. She and Andre hadn't released, or even recorded anything new so they didn't qualify for the awards. Only thing was, they did. They hadn't released the DVD for Jade's senior project until April of last year, after a short run in the theaters in February, so that meant the whole soundtrack was eligible. The soundtrack to "Backup, the story of a support singer." had been so popular, it managed to get people to watch the film. From there it was the pay-per view run in March leading up to the DVD release in April and a top ten song for Tori and Jade that charted for over twelve weeks.

They were nominated for Best Compilation Soundtrack for Visual Media, as well as Best Song Written for Visual Media and Grammy Award for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance. The last was for the Duet that had charted. Tori often had one of her backup singers perform Jade's part when she sang it in concert, and the song was popular enough to be added to the regular mix. Tori wanted to sing it with Jade for her New Years Eve performance, and Jade had agreed for the sake of spending New Years with Tori. Mason was ecstatic about the nominations, even though they had strong competition and were unlikely to win. Jade found herself the center of attention. With Andre's help, she'd written most of the music, and as musical director was the one who would get the Grammy for best Soundtrack. February, when the awards were held, would be an interesting month.

Zach didn't make a big deal of of the nominations. He was more interested in the Oscars, the Golden Globes, and the box office results. Cash trumped everything else. Zach Del Toro never once bragged about winning a single award for his movies. Zach blew the whole thing off by mentioning that the Grammy's gave awards to direct to video releases, while the Golden Globes, and the Oscars, didn't. He let her know that if she wanted him to be impressed by her awards, then she'd need to have her movies play in the theaters, and earn some money. Zach was just being his normal helpful self. Jade didn't bother telling him she was nominated for best original song in a motion picture for the golden globes, and later, when she lost, she was glad she didn't. It just didn't feel like that big of an accomplishment just to be nominated for a song. Andre was holding on to the hope that they'd be nominated for an Oscar in the same category.

Jade's friends were doing well, as could be expected. Cat was almost done with her program and was looking forward to working in the fashion world. Her original designed weren't that spectacular, so high fashion was out of the question. But there were other options for the synthetic redhead. Her original work went well with movies, and her ability to copy fashion, as well as guess someone's measurements at a glance, made her invaluable. She could take artists renditions and make a reasonable facsimile in a relatively short amount of time. With a crew to back her up, Cat could make the costumes for a whole movie and probably a couple of side projects. Jade had made sure to introduce Cat to Zach as soon as her principle filming was done, and got the girl another job. Initially Zach wasn't sure about her, but was starting to really appreciate what Cat could do. Soon Jade planned to help her start her own wardrobe company, contracting to movies to provide cloths for the actors. From there, maybe Cat could take the time to get back into performing as well. Jade was reluctant to make too many plans for her friend. Cat needed to have the major voice in her own life. Jade would just be there to help it come true, and tell her when they were stupid.

Robbie was also enjoying an upswing in popularity. Zach didn't see the geeky boy as a leading man type, but there was always need for a good character actor to do supporting roles. Robbie was signed to do three movies. While none of them were the lead, they were all fairly major parts, and having someone who could both act and have his acting support the acting of his costars was vital in coxing out the Academy Award winning performances from whomever might be in the lead.. So Zach was using the puppeteers ability to adapt and act to help support a couple of stars he wanted to work with. In a strange twist of fate, the nerdy young man was the tipping point to get one actor to sign on to the movie Zach was pushing. Robbie had his fans, some of them famous, and had been working steadily since he'd graduated. Jade wanted him to move to new york to join the cast of Saturday Night Live, but he had other plans. His deal with Zach included a guarantee he could work with Jade again some time in the future. Robbie knew Jade would trust him with a bigger part somewhere down the line.

Andre seemed to exploded onto the scene. He'd been so close to the fame he deserved for so long, and Jade had mistakenly believed it was just his bad luck that no one had seen what a wonder he was. Jade was wrong. Andre had signed a deal with Neutronium Records back during his sophomore year in college. Mason was willing to take the risk because Andre was Tori's writing partner. Now that Andre had his degree in Music, including a minor in audio engineering, the musician was ready to break out. After he graduated, Andre started work on his first album. But he was also working with multiple artists he'd met through the years, writing and producing songs for them. Andre was on his way to becoming one of those super producers who worked with everybody. He was finishing his album, and managed to get Tori to work with him for a song. Jade would find out he had multiple guests on the album including Tori, Dr. Rhapsody, and Kenan Thompson. Jade claimed she was 'blackmailed' into working with him as well, adding her voice to his album in return for his help with the sound of her movie. His first song was out now, and the album dropped in March.

Andre's success caused Jade all kinds of problems. Beyond the half dozen evenings lost to his careful recording sessions, the goth also had to deal with his 'sudden' fame back at her work. She didn't know about his deal with Mason, so she had no idea what was brewing the whole time she'd rebuilt her friendship with him. That left her in the awkward place of knowing, being friends even, with a rising celebrity. That wazzed Jade off to no end. Suddenly she found all her coworkers wanting her to invite the handsome young singer over, just to say hello. For people who worked at a Movie Studio, they still seemed to be in awe of any celebrity. Jade was coming to understand why. Celebrities met with Zach outside his office. They auditioned, or were wooed, but didn't just show up for meetings. Her friends were the exception, but didn't count because they weren't stars yet, except for Andre and Tori, and neither of them came by to audition. Danny, Nate and Gillian all wanted to meet Andre. So far, Jade had used his suddenly full schedule to keep that from happening, but it was only a matter of time before they cornered her and found out she was still in contact with the musician. Andre had her pegged to direct his first video, using the new closeness they held to guilt her into agreeing. Worse, he still liked to have lunch with her when they were both free.

Trina had been working towards her goal longer that any of Jade's friends, and now was closing in on making them happen. She had worked with Jade to pitch an idea of her working both a talk show and then as the central charter in a scripted soap opera around that show. It didn't win any fans in it's initial presentation to the networks. However, the people running the Spanish Language Chanel loved the idea of a mixed soap opera with a talk show. What they did was they mutated the idea into a half hour daily show where Trina would interview stars, and then Trina would have a minor roll as a fictionalized version of herself in the weekly prime time hour. The story of the Soap Opera was going to be based around people who work for her fictional show, or the fictionalized network, allowing the guests the option of either play fictional versions of themselves or other rolls for the weekly hour.

Highly inclusive of the modern Hispanic stars, this show would give them a chance to act, or be in scenes, while still keeping a story arc going. And for those with nothing to gain from being involved with the show, they'd just be in a scene or two as major background characters, or not at all as their schedules allowed. Trina would get to be funny and personable for her part of the show, and the open nature of the second show would allow it to be poignant, funny, or whatever as needed. They could even poke fun at themselves and discuss the experience of acting on the soap while in the interview part of the show. Trina was signed on for half a season, with the promise that if the ratings followed they'd get renewed for the rest of the season. Among the potential guest stars included Tori, who was looking forward to working with her sister, and Jade, who'd had Trina play a part in her new movie.

When the dust settled on the soap slash talk idea, Jade was still an executive producer, as well as one of the listed creators of the show. Things looked good for them, and Jade only had to do a little to keep herself drawing a paycheck from the Spanish Language Chanel. Jade even managed to keep that a secret from Zach, despite the producer not only speaking Spanish, but agreeing to be a guest on the show.

Trina had other news as well. One of the actors for the show, a fine-looking young man with a previous costarring role in a soap, took an interest in her. Sabino Alatorre was moving up to leading man, so was working with Trina on a daily basis during the shooting for the first week. He was instantly smitten by Trina's looks and confidence, and perused her relentlessly. He was also tone def, another fact that helped the relationship. They had started dating when the pilot was shot, and continued to see each other now. He was Puerto Rican, but had a work permit for Mexico. It was funny he was now in LA for his first starring role, a place where he didn't need a Visa. They were already talking about having a family, a house and kids and everything. They'd even reached the point where Trina had presented him to her family. Before she'd risk their father's reaction, she took him to one of Tori's concerts. It was part of her plan to have him meet her sister, so after the concert she used her influence to get them back stage, and she wrangled her sisters blessing for the union. The wedding was being meticulously planned, with the intent of something far more formal and traditional than Tori's wedding. They were aiming for June.

Jade was pleases to have someone who loved Trina for who she was, but felt a dislike for the poor man. It was for such a ganky reason, and she knew it, so she tried to forgive him. The problem was, he was basing his character on Jade. He played the producer of Trina's fictional show, a driven man with a dark past. Despite the inevitable affairs and other things that the writers wanted to add to his part, he wanted to be portrayed as an anti-hero. He saw his character as dangerous, willing to do anything to achieve his goals, but unwilling to use emotion as a weapon. A man with his own sense of honor, who followed a code of sorts. That sense of honor intrigued both him and the network, but what it led to had it pissed off Jade. Every meeting they had, even at social events, he was studying her. Jade didn't see herself that way, and it frustrated her that the self styled 'most Macho' character on the show was based on her.

Then there was Beck. Beck had made his long awaited return just before Christmas. He was home to visit his family, but took the opportunity to talk with several casting directors as well as Zach. The Canadian was charming as ever, making both of Gillian and Rigby take notice with his easy going smile and quick humor. Jade almost gagged. Zach hadn't planned on Jade being more involved than a quick introduction, something that would show the promising young actor that Zach Del Toro was her mentor. However, it didn't take long before he mentioned that he'd known Jade a long time, and in fact was her ex. Jade found herself being used as a bargaining chip, with Zach promising Beck that Jade would be around for the project, and would be available to help him if needed.

"Jade would of course be available for anything you might need. I want you to know just how excited we all are about having you working with us, and Jade's services would be just a little reminder of that commitment." Zach said.

"What?" Beck asked. "You're offering me Jade?"

"If you want her, you can have her, if you'll be in my movie." Zach said. It suddenly sounded wrong, but he didn't know why.

"Zach, I do want to work with you, but there's a couple of things we need to clear up first. Okay?" Beck said, shifting to a standing position. Zach stood too, not wanting to give up the power position.

"Like?" Zach said, trying to bring his mind back to whatever he was trying to think about just a few seconds ago. 'Something about Jade's services...'

"We'll, this scripts no good for me. I can play a lot of roles, but shouldn't try to go against type. Robbie told me about this other project, the one you want to start filming in April. I think I'd be perfect for the lead in that one. That is, if the leads still open." Beck said.

"Robbie? You mean Mister Shapiro? You know the puppet guy?" Zach said, again losing his train of thought. 'I know it's important. It feels like it could be life or death. Well, not that bad, but...'

"Yea, Robbie and I go way back. I'd love to work with him again. Jade too. But not in the way you've implied." Beck shifted his position. He glanced at Jade, who'd been sitting there the whole time, probably plotting the annihilation of her boss. "If I ever hear about you trying to prostitute out one of your assistants, especially Jade, I will not be responsible for the consequences. We, I treat women with more respect than that. We clear?"

"Oh my GOD!" Zach said. "That's what I did wrong. I can't believe I said that. Did you know Jade's armed? Carries scissors, and she can throw them like darts. I'd be crazy to try and sell her. No, I meant Jade is my assistant, and if you wanted her as your assistant, you could have her." Zach laughed it off, feeling embarrassed. "I don't use hookers to secure my deals. I'm so sorry if I cam across as creepy."

Jade was relieved. Both that Zach wasn't trying to sell her ass, and that Beck seemed to have found that part of him that was a decent, stand up guy. She'd missed that part of him. She reminded herself to hurt Nate later. He was supposed to help Zach prep, and hadn't asked if Beck knew Robbie, despite how easy it would have been to find out they went to school together.

She watched Beck and Zach hammer out the last part of their deal, and then offered to give the Canadian a ride. He didn't live here, and was probably using a service. Jade thought she could save him the trouble. Beck accepted, pulling Jade from work two hours early to chauffeur him around, and probably saving Nate from whatever revenge she had planned.

"Jade, we need to talk about something." He started.

"I think we've covered everything we could ever need to." Jade replied. She was sure they'd talked about everything.

"No we haven't. It's been bugging me for a couple of years now. I just needed to say I'm sorry." Beck sounded repentant.

"You've already apologized." jade said.

"Yea, I did, but not for this. It's my lowest point, and I think I need to clear the air about this before we can move on." He looked her in the eye. "Jade, back when I was dating you, when I was ignoring how much you were hurting, I suspected you'd eventually snap. Our relationship was a power trip for me. A lot of the shit I did was to push you towards the edge, while other things were to look like I was in control of you. I got off on that image."

Jade remained silent. None of what Beck was saying changed anything in her life, but it still hurt, years later, to hear him say it.

"I honestly thought that one day you'd snap, and probably take several students out. While I told myself that I'd stop you, or warn them, I kinda always knew that when that day happened, I'd grab cover and watch. You've no idea how relieved I am that I was wrong. I still feel guilt over letting you suffer in that hell hole, but..." Beck was running out of words.

"Did you ever love me?" Jade asked, her voice small.

"I still do. I know now we could never be together, but that didn't stop me from having feelings for you. And I wish I could make things better, but now it's too late. I just hope you forgive me, and that knowing this, you will understand why I.." Beck's hesitation told Jade he had one more secret. She knew it would be painful. "I started the push to get the restraining orders. I had help, a couple of lawyers who offered to do all the work, but I started it."

"I know." Jade said. "I'm on great terms with my in laws. They told me shortly before I got my BFA."

Beck was stunned. "I've forgiven my father, _and_ my mother, for the choices they made. Choices that hurt me. Do you really think I'd hold onto this? I never expected you to tell me about the restraining orders. The whole 'I though you'd take out half the school, and got off watching' shit is new, but I can still forgive you." Jade hugged her ex, bringing the whole painful conversation to an end. The sound of the horn from the car behind them reminded Jade she was stopped at an intersection, and some people wanted to go.

Jade had also been checking up on Ginny. The former Gangsta had forgiven Jade for not being invited to the wedding. Of course, Jade was ambushed into the wedding, and Ginny understood. The girl was working in a bakery in Oakland, CA. It was a co-op, so she had to buy her way in, but the pay was better than she would have gotten otherwise. She was getting fifteen dollars per hour. Jade was amazed she was willing to work for that little, but then saw ambition and opportunities. Ginny was the kind to move herself up the ladder in any environment she was in. It was only a matter of time before she was earning twice that.

Jade didn't know it, but Tori made a point of visiting Ginny while in the area. Tori was on tour, and her and the band decided to do a tour of a local bakery. It didn't sound exciting, but they all wanted fresh pastries, and this place came highly recommended. Tori knew they'd go for it, precisely the reason she'd snuck the brochure in the first place.

It wasn't a big operation, just a large back area where the backed goods were made, and a store front where they were bought. The manager was explaining how this co-op had grown, with stores in almost a dozen cities. Tori didn't care, she was looking for the baker on duty.

Tori found there were half a dozen bakers working that day, a necessity to keep up with the volume of costumers, both private and corporate, that frequented the store each day. Tori was amazed at how they worked as a well oiled machine, each one doing a specific run of whatever. Breads, pastries, even cakes were produced in vast quantities.

Ginny saw her first. The former gangster wasn't expecting the visit, but as soon as they were told about the group coming in, she knew this confrontation was inevitable. She kept working, waiting to see what the singer wanted from her. It took a few minutes, but finally Tori was close, and they had a bit of privacy. But the singer didn't say anything. Ginny was getting nervous. She didn't like being watched. She had no idea what Jade had told Tori, or if she'd ever mentioned their deal. Still, the singer stared at her, silently judging her.

"What?" Ginny snapped.

"I can't believe you could force Jade to do anything." The singer replied.

"I didn't." Ginny snapped back.

"The way I've read it, you were bad news. So why does she have such high regard for you?' Tori asked.

"She doesn't." Was the reply.

"I don't know. She went out of her way to keep in touch with you. That doesn't sound like nothing." Tori pushed.

"I ran that place." Ginny said, turning to face Tori, looking her straight in the face. "I was the one in charge. Boys, girls, even staff did what I told them to. Then this chick comes in and throws the whole thing out of whack. She would rather be tortured than sell her body, and trust me, that was the commodity I controlled. So we had issues. But she never broke, never sold her ass to anyone. As she was getting ready to get thrown someplace worse, I saw a chance to avoid the fate of the top bitches that'd come before me. Simple as that."

"So you made her a deal?" Tori asked.

"Kinda. I told her to make it, live the dream. We don't got much in the way of role models in the system. She'd be that, and I'd claim to have been her bud back in the day. She should have know I was lying." Ginny said.

"But you kept your word." Tori said, her voice barely loud enough to be heard.

"I did, but it was to get me out, and burn the bastards who'd have just kicked me out once I was eighteen. Admin could always find another top dog to run their yard for them. Keeping me after my social worker gave up on me, that they couldn't do. This way, I got my deal and that led to this glamorous gig." Ginny said. "Fuck me that Jade believed the whole thing. She did it. I've seen the movie you did with her, and she's with you now, so I guess she's made it."

"Someone tell her that." Tori said. "I mean, I guess you gave her a reason to keep fighting when living wasn't enough. She's here because of you."

"No, she's here because she chose to believe the crap I gave her, while I was telling her she had to live." Ginny looked to see her manager. He was strangely calm about her unscheduled brake. Celebrities did that to people. Ginny leaned in closer to Tori, lowering her voice. "Thing is, I kinda kept my word too. I'm playing it straight. Someone's gotta make it, be somebody. She can be the big ass star, I'm gonna be the one who works in a bakery, and eventually be the head pastry chef at some five star restaurant. Pay here's serious to folks like me, but it's probably a joke to you and Jade."

"Jade still won't let me pamper her." Tori frowned. The baker looked at her like she was out of her mind.

"I'm not your girlfriend." Ginny said. Then she shifted her stance, tried to make herself look bigger. "So tell me, superstar, why did you need to see me?" She asked.

"I need to understand Jade's obsession with 'making it' on her own. I just want to hold her hand on the fucking beach." Tori composed herself. The frustration was slowly getting to her.

"Just her latest battle. When your choices are fight or die, you get used to fighting. I kept her from choosing the other, for a while, and she don't know she has other choices now." Ginny said, backing up to return to work. "And superstar, I'm telling you this because Jade is kinda my friend now. We email each other, and she's encouraged me every step of the way. Kinda funny, we made the lie true just because we're both too stubborn to let it go. Also, she's the first bitch I let be a friend since I was fourteen. So I forgive you for not inviting me to the wedding. Just take care of her. She's always going to need something to overcome. She needs it to prove herself to herself, over and over again, just like me."

Tori thanked her, lost in the insight the baker had shown. She understood now. Jade needed to prove herself. Jade would always be seeking to prove herself. Tori made a note to talk to some experts on how she could support Jade when the goth slipped and fell behind. Tori could wait for Jade to get some success before going public. Then she'd challenge Jade to deal with the fame.

:}

This is about where I originally wanted to end the story, but then I kept writing, and there's one more chapter.

But first, a couple of things.

I would like to thank everyone who's read, followed or favorited my story. I wrote this because it wanted to be written, and I thank you because it wanted to be read. Stay strong.

Second, some insight about the writing process. Originally, when I started this project, it was going to be ten chapters and between thirty and forty thousand words. Let that sink in.

Next, I need to let everyone who reads the notes know, this story is a fairy tale about healing, fighting for something better. The wounded who make up this site, authors and readers alike, need to remember, you are capable of so much. Let life be about the healing, and moving towards your dreams. Keep fighting.

Next chapter, I wont be so left field in the comments.

And also, the story ends.


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